CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Are you almost ready?”
Jessa looked through the mirror on her vanity at Wade who was standing in the doorway. She’d been back in Nashville for three weeks and hadn’t heard one peep from Jace since their argument. He’d walked away and, as much as she’d wanted to go after him, how could she unless she was willing to leave her career. She knew he wouldn’t want to share her world. As much as she wished he could, even she knew better. He was a man set in his ways, loved his peace and quiet, and just as he said, he was a simple man.
Nothing about her life was simple.
“Almost. I noticed I wasn’t on the front page of the rag magazines any longer.” She stared at her reflection. Dark circles lined her eyes and she looked pale. She hadn’t slept but a few hours for the last few weeks.
“Well, once the sharks eat off all the meat from a carcass they move on to fresh prey.”
“So now I’m being compared to a carcass?” She lifted a brow.
“Come on, Jessa. You know what I mean.” He stepped in closing the door behind him.
She squeezed the bridge of her nose, hoping the throbbing didn’t turn into a migraine. “I know, Wade. I guess I’m just a little sensitive.”
“Did you like the cowboy?”
“Jace? I did. A lot.” She opened a tube of lipstick and applied it.
“Did you invite him tonight?”
She met Wade’s gaze through the mirror. “This ain’t his sorta thing.”
“Oh.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I thought maybe he would like to hear the song you wrote for him. After all, you’ve fallen for him.”
Her breath itched. “How did you know?”
He shrugged a beefy shoulder. “Because that’s the best damn song you’ve written in years, probably the best you’ve ever written. You certainly connected with a part of you that I haven’t seen for a long time.”
Turning her attention back to her reflection, she sighed. “This lipstick has a blue undertone. I don’t like it.” She grabbed a tissue from the holder and wiped off the color.
“I was in love once.”
Never sharing his past before, she dropped the tissue and swiveled on the stool to look at him. “You were?”
“Back in my twenties.”
“What happened?”
He looked down at his expensive loafers. She couldn’t remember seeing him vulnerable, ever. He looked up and his smile was forced. “I decided that I wanted to be a star. What can I say, I chased the rainbow, and I lost her. And my career never quite made it off the ground. I guess I’ve always been better at managing than singing. We can’t all sing like an angel.”
“I didn’t know that, Wade. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, that’s thirty years’ history.” He blew out a long breath. “She’s married with three kids now. Is this what you’re wanting, Jessa?”
“To play here tonight?”
He gave his head a shake. “No. To be fifty years old and living with regret.”
She blinked. “This is not what I expected from you. I’ve heard you tell me a hundred times that in order to stay on top, I had to play often and write songs that make women want their own cowboy.”
He chuckled, but it fizzled. “For some people, they ride this lifestyle like a pro-bull rider, but you Jessa, well, you’re different. You’ve lost something, that gleam in your eye, over the last few years. I remember finding you on that itty-bitty stage in a no-name town. I saw the diamond, saw your capability. I was right, but I wonder where you’d be if I’d never found you. You need to ask yourself if you’ll get the shine back, or is it time to find something, or someone, that makes you happy. I know it’s a tough call, a risk, but you’ve had your eight second ride. For some, that’s enough.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m scared, Wade.”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid if I find my way out of all this, I’ll regret it and won’t be able to get back in.”
“No reason to be scared. I’ve seen you stand on a stage in front of thousands of pubescent girls screaming and chanting. If you can make millions of people happy, then I’m certain you can find happiness for yourself.”
“What do I do?” She sniffed back tears.
“I can’t answer that for you. All I can suggest is that you should ask yourself if you can forget that cowboy. When you walk off that stage tonight, will you be thinking about all the fans you pleased, or how much you miss him? Plain and simple.” He looked back at the door. “Okay. It’s almost time for you to get out there and do your thing. I can hear them yelling now.”
Once she was alone, Jessa fixed her make up, but never did find the right lipstick.
*****
Jace patted his dog on the back and sat down on the top step of the porch. The sun was setting, his favorite time of the day. A little because his work day ended, and more because there was a calm on the land.
Deer grazed along the edge of the woods. Birds chirped in a nearby tree. And he felt a mixture of pride and sadness.
“Stay, Danger.”
The dog laid down on the porch as Jace got up.
He stepped into the house, dropping his hat on the hook and toeing off his dirty boots. He clicked on the TV, wanting to watch a game, but the banging of pots took him into the kitchen. He found Freckles at the stove. “What are you doing?”
His friend, and roommate, laid the wooden spoon down and grabbed two plates from the cabinet. “I’m making dinner. You ready to eat?”
“Come on, buddy. I didn’t buy this farm and keep you here to have you taking care of me.” Although Jace’s stomach rumbled in appreciation of the delicious-smelling grub. He was famished after working sixteen hours a day for the last six weeks getting the farm in working order, hiring hands and buying livestock. A lot had changed in his life since Jessa had left Nirvana. For the first time in his life, he knew he needed to step out on his own, make a place his home. So, he’d bought Freckles’ farm and now here he was, having his dinner made for him.
“I have nothing better to do. It’s good to have someone around.” Freckles put the plates on the table and went back to tending the pot.
“How did your date go?”
“It wasn’t a date. Dorothy and I are just friends. We stopped and grabbed ice cream at the church social. I told you to come along.”
Jace laughed. “When? Between building the new fence or giving the cows their shots?”
“I remember those days. There never seemed to be a stop, but you’re doing something I should have done years ago. Hired more hands to help. If I had it to do all over again, I would have spent more time with my Aggie.”
Hearing the sadness in his friend’s tone, Jace cleared his throat. “When are you and Dorothy seeing each other again?”
“Saturday. We’re going to play Bingo.”
This new thing between Freckles and Dorothy was recent, but Jace still liked to see his friend getting out and socializing. So far, their living conditions were working out.
The radio was playing and Jace almost dropped his glass as he recognized the voice of an angel coming through the speaker. Jessa was singing her new song. Although she’d never sung it for him, he had a good feeling this was the song she had written about him. The lyrics enveloped their relationship from rejection, rodeo, to love in paradise. Damn. He’d listened to it at least a hundred times since it released days ago.
“Nice song, huh?” Freckles asked.
“Yeah.” He put the juice container back into the fridge and gulped down the contents of the glass. He blamed his bad attitude on the fact that he was tired. His body ached and he was lonely. Freckles had told Jace he should go to Nashville and visit Jessa, let her know what he was doing these days, but it wasn’t right for him to chase her, not when she’d made her decision. This was his home and, apparently, she wanted to stay in Nashville. He didn’t want to accept it, but he couldn’t control how things had gone between them.
A soft knock came on the door. Jace turned toward the living room. “Expecting company, Freckles?”
The older man shrugged and cleared his throat. “No, but you are. The sauce is finished, just pour it over the pasta when you two are ready to eat.” He started for the back stairs.
“Hey, where are you going?”
The gray-haired man stopped. “To give you some privacy. You’ll need it.”
“What have you done?”
“Thank me later.” He continued up the stairs.
Jace wasn’t expecting what he found on the front porch, but when he pulled back the curtain, he almost dropped his jaw to the floor. He opened the door and his throat constricted. “Jessa, what are you doing here?”
She swirled to face him. My God, she was beautiful. From her hair that had grown a few inches, to her eyes, she was dazzling. Her T-shirt and skinny jeans showed off the lovely curves he’d enjoyed holding during their time at Nirvana.
“I hope it’s okay that I’m here. Freckles invited me.” She hooked her thumbs into the front pockets of her jeans.
“Freckles?”
She nodded. “He didn’t tell you that we’ve been talking? He told me you bought the place. I think it’s great.”
“He didn’t tell me.” Figures. That explained why the older man wouldn’t stop talking about her.
“I-I know this must be a surprise. If I’m not welcome…”
“Why wouldn’t you be welcome?”
She gave a slight shrug. “The scowl you’re wearing and not inviting me in could be an indication.”
He blew out a long breath, “I’m sorry. Come in.” He stepped back and, when she passed, he got a strong whiff of her scintillating scent that he swore was still in his every pore.
“Something smells delicious,” she said after she was inside.
He shoved the door closed with his shoulder. “Freckles cooked up something.”
“So, you’re lucky and have a roomie that cooks?” She wagged her brows.
“If you could see the mess I’m dealing with out on the land, Freckles is about the only lucky thing on my list.”
“Congratulations, Jace. You have a homestead now.” Her smile reached in and grasped his heart in a tight clutch. He became weak around her. And yet, stronger than ever too.
He nodded. “Why are you here, Jessa? It’s hard for me to believe you came just for dinner. Or did you?” He raised a brow.
Her trembling was visible as she clasped her hands together. “No, I didn’t. I have something I need to say.”
“And you couldn’t call?”
“Not for this.” Her voice shook. “I came to Nirvana not sure what I needed, but once I saw you again it seemed like I realized what I was lacking in my life. It’s not easy when one sees a sharp turn in their dreams, or future plans. But during those days that we spent together, I realized whether I was along for the ride or not, it didn’t matter, because my heart was in the driver’s seat. I realized when I left Nirvana my heart stayed behind. My dreams. My life had changed.”
“Okay. Maybe you should make it clearer.”
She smiled. “I’m saying that I’m quitting the stage.”
His eyes widened and then concern darkened his expression. “What are you saying? I was wrong by suggesting that you quit. Your voice, it’s amazing. Fans love you, and you don’t want to disappoint them.”
“But there’s something…someone, I love so much more.”
He took a step closer. “Are you doing this for me?”
She nodded. “Partly.”
“Don’t give up your dream. We will still see each other. We’ll work it out.”
Tears built in her eyes and one slid down her cheek until she swiped it with the back of her knuckles. “You’re missing the point, Jace. Like I said, dreams change. People change. My emptiness started months before I met you again, but once you kissed me, I was hooked. Being with you, near you, loving you has made me whole again. I don’t wish to give up music all together, but I’m willing to place it on a back burner to be here, by your side.” She drew in a ragged breath and her cheeks were red. “You are my dream, Jace Jackson. You are lyrics to my songs.”
His heart filled with emotion. “There’s something you should know.”
Her lips turned down in a frown. “That you’ve changed your mind?”
He laughed. “No. I want you to know that I love you.”
“That’s a good thing because I had a plan B.” Her shoulders slumped in relief.
“Plan B?”
“To tie you up until you heard me out.”
He wagged his brows. “Maybe that’s not such a bad idea.”
She moved forward and pressed her mouth to his. He kissed her deeply, suckling her luscious, swollen lips until he felt her legs shake. His pulse thumped in his neck, a heavy, wild beat. She pulled back, breathless, her lips swollen and moist. His cock stirred and wakened with a vengeance. “Do you have a guest room? I brought my bags and I’d like to stay.”
“My room.” He kissed her lightly on the end of the nose.
“Yes, but what about Freckles?”
“Freckles can get his own woman if that’s what he wants.”
She smacked him on the arm. “You know that’s not what I’m asking.”
He smiled. “Sweetheart, Freckles sleeps upstairs and I sleep downstairs. As far as us disturbing him, he takes out his hearing aids at night and he wouldn’t wake up if a bulldozer drove straight through the house.”
“It’s been so long. We might be a little noisy.”
He lifted her into his arms and nuzzled her hair. “Are you hungry?”
“Famished. For you.”
As their gazes mingled and he stared down at her beauty, he knew he was the happiest man alive. He wasn’t sure what their future held except for knowing that together they would make it work. This was where she belonged. This was her home, with him.