Lulah woke cold as the sun revealed itself through a fiery orange crack that split the horizon. Joker lay alongside her, but Calliope was missing. Vince must be around. She sat up and Joker grunted and rolled a bit before settling with a sigh. Lulah rubbed her hand across the warm, soft fur on the top of his head, drawing a deeper sigh from the dog. An interior light shone from the barn but she couldn’t define any activity. Surely he wasn’t working already after the late, alcohol-filled night he’d had?

She threw back the covers and stepped from her bed. The morning air wrapped her body like a cool glove, and she shivered. The changing seasons brought a new chill that would soon drive her from the porch to the cabin’s one large bedroom for sleeping.

Through the kitchen window her attention flitted across the yard, back to the barn, wondering about Vince’s state. Her childhood had its share of hung-over adults. People who’d come to the trailer for poker and drinking, and stayed the night. She brewed a cup of coffee, taking a deep sniff before sipping it. Tempting as it was to take a mug over to Vince, to steal a glimpse of the damage he’d most likely done to himself, she decided the approach for the next encounter was up to him.

It was Sunday and she wasn’t expected over at the Sanctuary. Mike had invited her to go hiking, but she had already planned to bike a piece of trail she’d had trouble with. Joker could go with her and earlier in the week she’d hoped Vince would, too, except now that was unlikely. She added a drink, trail mix, water for Joker and an extra layer of clothing to her small day pack.

Vince came out of the barn as she checked over her bike. She stayed focused on the chain, oiling it at the same time as checking for wear. Not that she saw much because concentrating on his approaching steps across the yard, she tried to fathom exactly how to deal with him.

“Hey, Lulah.”

He sounded cautious. She reached for a cloth to wipe the excess lube from the bike chain. “Hey, Vince.” Fighting the urge to smile at him, to appease whatever angst rode his face, she bunched the cloth into a tight ball.

“Do you need a hand with that?”

“Nope, thanks anyway.” She rocked back onto her heals and pushed herself to standing. Oh, boy, that must have been some night. “Phew, you look rough.”

“I do, huh? Lucky I don’t have a mirror in the barn.”

“Did you sleep there last night?”

Vince nodded.

“How did you get out here from town?”

“Walked. Adam took my keys.”

“He left you a house key, though, didn’t he? I mean, your house is closer to town. It’s miles out to here.”

“I…yeah…stuff happened. Sorry, I shouldn’t have slept in the barn without asking. I know that’s not the deal we agreed to, but I was stuck for somewhere to sleep and in the middle of the night, walking out here seemed like a good idea.”

“Did you find some trouble last night, Vince?”

“I need to see Adam.”

She watched as he turned from her, motioning for Calliope to follow. Brush me off, whatever. Except she knew her attempt at a ‘don’t care’ attitude didn’t come near wiping out the way she hurt.

“Are you in trouble?” she asked again.

Vince walked off in the direction of the Sanctuary, but he stopped. “I don’t know.”

Lulah pulled on her daypack. Not my problem. Let him go. He was in trouble, she knew that but she couldn’t go after him, couldn’t rescue him. Couldn’t rescue Dad, can’t rescue Vince.

“Come on, Joker, let’s go have some fun.” She mounted her bike, clipped her feet into her pedals and set off at a slow pace, warning Joker, who bounded ahead, that she planned a long ride so he’d best save some energy for later. Clouds curtained the sun but it appeared the rain would hold off. Perfect biking weather.

When she returned hours later Vince’s pickup was parked near the barn. On the trail she’d gone over her feelings about him, his situation, her situation, and still hadn’t come any closer to a conclusion.

Having him working in the barn was fine. That didn’t bother her and she was glad to help him out, provide him with that space. When out alone she could even talk herself into keeping him at a distance, friends. Yet the minute they were in a room together, one look at him and her brain scrambled.

She headed into the cabin to shower. There were two minor scrapes that needed attending along with examining the bruise that would be darkening her butt.

On the trails, she believed she wasn’t pushing hard enough if she didn’t take an occasional tumble. Today when she fell, her foot hadn’t released from the pedal and the bike stayed with her as she went down. Her butt hurt as though she’d been kicked by a mule.

She stood for some time in the stream of hot water. Today she ached inside and out. By the time she finished she’d decided to call Vince in for a meal but from the kitchen she noticed his pickup gone. Later, as she tidied up after her meal, she saw him return.

She made tea and prepared a tray with a couple of mugs and some fruitcake. Partway across the yard Joker and Calliope met, sniffed, and set off to check what sort of critters visited the yard during their absence. Vince must have noticed her through the window because he opened the door before she reached it. His appearance was an improvement on this morning: showered and shaved, that tidy, ready for action look.

He took the tray from her. “I’ll fix this, you sit.”

Lulah noticed he’d added an old sofa to the mélange of furniture and she eased herself onto it, its length allowing her to stretch out her aching leg. Although she’d iced it earlier, the relief hadn’t lasted. She tried to make the move casual.

“Did you take a fall?”

“I’m fine.”

“So did you take a fall?”

The fall from her bike didn’t come close to the one her heart had taken, but after riding hard and tumbling harder, she’d decided the universe had sent a message she’d been too stubborn to read. “It was nothing.” She sipped her tea, shaking her head at the cake he offered. “No, that’s for you.”

“Thank you.” He took a bite of the cake, watching her thoughtfully as he chewed and swallowed. “I wish you wouldn’t go out there by yourself. You could get hurt, hit your head, or something. How would we find you?”

Lulah smothered a laugh. “After what you do, I can’t believe you’re even saying that to me.”

“There are a whole lot of reasons that what I do is safer than what you’re doing. Starting with the fact I don’t have my feet clipped to bike pedals. Right there, that’s totally insane. Even more, we can add the fact that I’m trained to survive in the wilderness alone, and I’m guessing you’re not.”

“Anyone can fall and hit their head walking, cycling, or running. A goose could have a heart attack while flying south for winter, drop from the sky. All that physics stuff would come into play, and the dead goose would suddenly weigh a ton. When it landed on your head, it could whack you flat out cold. The most awesome-sauce survival skills in the world won’t help if you’re unconscious, so this conversation is pointless.”

Vince shook his head. “A goose. I don’t believe it. You pull a goose out of the sky to back up your argument? You’re crazy, and funny, and stubborn, you know that?”

She needed to be stubborn, to keep from becoming sucked into the need of the two men who hovered at the margins of her emotions. Vince turned to his workbench and started sketching. Even back-on he looked a whole lot better than this morning.

“Do you mind if I keep working for a bit?”

“No, keep at it. What are you doing?”

“This.” He held up a sketch of a mermaid. “It’s for an inn in Massachusetts. I don’t know how these people find me. The inn’s been going since 1857, and the original sign needed some restoration work. Unfortunately, before they were able to send it to me, somebody pinched it. Luckily, they had plenty of photographs for me to work off, but the challenge will be to age it and keep its strength. My first mermaid.”

She could see the emotional respite he found in this work. “Congratulations.”

“Here’s something I’ve worked on in secret.” When he stepped to the side, Lulah saw his pinboard had a number of photos of Justice. Vince had sketched them.

“Wow, are you—”

“I’m going to make a full-size carousel dog of Justice for the fund-raising auction. For the past few weeks, I’ve taken photos of him to capture his character. I’m sure I’ve managed that, so now it’s time for one of my favorite parts of the process—sketching the model and working out the ornamental details, which, in the biz, we call trappings. Justice has to have the balanced scales and the sword. I’ll carve a liberty medal for his collar. And the kitten, of course. Have you seen the kitten he took up to the house?”

Lulah nodded.

“Cute scrawny little thing. Justice walked in and deposited it into Adam’s lap. The kitten’s pretty spooky around people, still, but follows Justice all over. What did they call it? Some New Zealand bird name?”

“Tui.”

“That’s it, Tui. Apparently that kitten has the same coloring as the bird. Black with a white splotch on its chest.”

He had his back to her again, his hand busily working across the paper, creating his beautiful images. He looked at ease. Did she have to shatter that now? Could she do that to him when he was enjoying this moment of peace?

She continued to study him, his broad back, a lean muscular arm reaching for his mug of tea.

He tipped his head back to drain the last mouthful, and replaced the mug on tray. Without turning to her he spoke. “Shall we talk about the elephant now?”

“Elephant?” Was he carving an elephant, too?

“Yeah, the big one in the corner of the room that needs putting to rest.”

“Huh. I didn’t know if you could see it.”

The movement of his arm stopped. “I see it, smell it, hear it shuffle and weave the way a tethered elephant does. Probably time we set it free, yeah?”

Lulah exhaled. “Yeah.”

When he turned, his gaze swept over her. Not in a sexual way, not with any yearning or need, but a simple assessment. He paused at her outstretched leg, which she propped up on the arm of the sofa. “Are you warm enough? Can I get you a blanket?”

“Is it going to be a long night?”

“Depends.”

“I’m warm enough right now, thanks.”

He dragged an armchair across the floor, stopping near her feet so that when he sat, stretching his long legs in front of him, they were top-to-tail. “Had a bad day yesterday, Lulah.”

She waited.

“In the morning, I went to visit Gable. I wanted to take the wagon to her. I had bought her some paints and hoped for an hour with her, some time to help her paint the space I left along the side for her to decorate. Turns out she was with Jerk-off—sorry, Andrew—Taryn’s boyfriend. Didn’t matter. Out or home, Taryn wasn’t going to let me see her. I’ll be honest when I say that I sat in the truck for a bit, fuming, before I pulled my shit together and realized I had to do this sort of stuff through the lawyer. Money seems to flow in one direction when your marriage is breaking up. The legal process is so long and frustrating.

“Anyway, I drove back to town, intending to grab some lunch and hike up to the lake, but at the shops I spotted a couple of guys I knew from the Marines, so I hooked up with them. I don’t know why I did that, because I avoid anyone from that part of my life, trying to, you know, put it all behind me. I guess I was so pissed with Taryn.

“But, you know, one drink would be okay. I thought I could have a soda, but the guys weren’t letting me away with that. I was pretty wired, and it didn’t take much to convince me I needed a beer. I’m so fucking weak, Lulah.”

Now what? Agree with him? Tell him he’s not weak? Make him feel better so that he can justify his actions when he does it again, and again? Sure, Daddy, one little game of dice. It’s not really gambling; you’re just being social. Nah, to hell with that. She stayed with him, gave him a small ‘go on’ nod.

His chin dropped a little as the elephant stepped from the shadows. “A couple of beers would have been okay. I’m not an alcoholic. I can have a beer, always used to at the finish of a hot day, but I’d been on that medication and it didn’t feel good with alcohol. I wondered if the flashbacks were worse if I drank, so I’d sworn off it. Once I drank that third beer, a little bit of the pity-and-reward set in. I knew I was supposed to meet with you guys. To be honest, I didn’t want to, I have to say that, but I was going to do it, to spend some time with you. It made me anxious, but I was determined to try until I felt sorry for myself, and I decided I deserved that drink.”

He fell silent again, and Lulah decided this was the moment she needed to step up and acknowledge the elephant, too. “So you were all angry and annoyed, headed into town, caught up with a couple of buddies, and got hammered. Sounds like a normal Saturday night for a lot of people.”

He stared at her. He was good with that look, the one that made her want to comfort him. It wasn’t manipulative because whatever Vince was, he wasn’t calculating that way. The look was instinctive, the sort that drew a mother to a child.

Everything changed when the pain flashed around his eyes. “After a few drinks, I began to feel as though I could face you all, face seeing you with Mike. I know that sounds ridiculous. It is, it’s stupid, but I hate the way that guy stares at you.”

“I can’t control that, Vince.” Any more than she could control the way that woman was with him last night.

Vince shook his head. “I’m sorry; that was pathetic. What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that my attempt to hold everything together is fragile, so it’s vulnerable to little irritations.”

“Go on.”

“I headed for home, but the guys followed me out and suggested we have a final drink at that new bar down the road. Once outside, I knew that the real reason I’d left was because of Mike and you playing pool, so I remember thinking I could go back and maybe have a drink with Marlo and watch you guys play. I was intent on being the social guy, but I never managed to leave the group. Staying was so much easier than joining you. Next thing Adam turns up at the bar, takes my keys, and…don’t get me wrong, I like Adam, I trust him, but, man, he has this ability to read the potential of a situation and try and defuse it. My mood meant when he took my keys it pissed me off more.”

It was the tension stiffening his body that Lulah noticed first. Quickly followed by the hint of warning in the tone of the words he spoke and the way the light slipped from his face. She dropped her hand to the floor, to touch his outstretched legs, but she couldn’t reach him from where she sat.

When she searched for his gaze, to reach him that way, he was already watching the other place he saw but never shared. God, what kind of horror created that darkness in his eyes?

“Take your time, Vince,” she said softly. “Come back when you’re ready.” She stayed with him, watching his face, noting the small twitch of his jaw muscle as his clenched teeth finally relaxed.

A few minutes later, he returned her gaze and gave her an apology and a small smile. She knew now the effort he put into that. “We don’t have to go on with this.”

“I want to.” He rubbed at his temple.

“Sit here with me,” she shifted across a little on the sofa, “so I can do that for you.”