CHAPTER TWELVE
CAILYN
Cailyn glared at Drocco. She had spent the last day in utter turmoil thinking about him in the throes of ecstasy with another woman, and he had returned so nonchalantly saying he happened to not have time. What a fucking bastard. She couldn’t deny she felt some ownership of him, especially his cock, but she had soon come to realize that was the result of the conditioning. The constant fucking and knotting and petting—the scent and sound of him—the way he fed and bathed and groomed her and stayed skin-to-skin with her almost all the time; he had conditioned her to feel better in his presence, and that was why she was having these crazy emotions. He had made her this way.
In the last day since he had been gone, she’d had space to think. Since he had entered the room, after trying to kill her, he hadn’t brought any fresh sheets for the bed. No fresh air had entered the room at all. The entire room stank of their sweat, sex, and combined scent—no wonder she had fallen so easily for his conditioning.
She had calmed in the last few hours, managing to get some sleep, but the moment the door opened again, her anger returned full force, even though she knew it was a manipulation. And when he said he hadn't been with another woman, the relief had been almost staggering.
This couldn't continue. She would end up being completely led by her instincts and emotions, which was exactly what he wanted, but what about when he went back to being Emperor? He would have made her completely reliant on him and she would end up living the life that she had been trying to avoid—that all of the Omegas had been trying to avoid. And who was to say when he would stop being so amenable? Eventually, he would start questioning her again—no doubt he still wanted to know where the Omegas were, and now it made sense why he had stopped his questioning. He had been manipulating her all along. She fucking hated him.
"Lelah alith sofrey adin-yan mon carrh."
The words shuddered through her, and something changed in the air. For a moment she couldn't place what she was feeling, and then it came to her in a rush.
Magic. Magic had returned.
Drocco looked at her, slight confusion entering his eyes, but she did not wait.
Jumping up, she focused her mind, backing away from him to get some distance so she could focus.
"What is going on?" Drocco muttered, almost to himself.
Focusing, she filtered out as many distractions as she could, and stilled her mind’s eye. She called on an enormous amount of magic and gathered it into the space between them, creating a large spear.
As the magic came together, Drocco's eyes widened. He glanced at her and then stood up slowly.
Gritting her teeth and fighting against every instinct that told her it was wrong, Cailyn launched the spear at him at a frightening speed.
He tried to twist out of the way, but couldn't move fast enough, and the spear caught him in the shoulder. It threw him back with incredible force and slammed him back against the wall, pinning him to it. He roared and cursed, his whole body tensing.
A violent tremble rose in Cailyn at the sound of his shock and pain. He was hurt and angry, and needed looking after… She caught herself before her train of thought went too far, and forced herself to turn away from him. She ran to the wardrobe and grabbed a fresh dress, pulling it on as she headed to the window.
"Cailyn!" Drocco thundered. "Where do you think you're going? Stay where you are!"
She faltered in her step, glancing back at him.
He leaned forward into the spear, digging it further into his shoulder, his face contorted.
Cailyn watched for a moment, a worry suddenly gripping her that he would damage himself even further.
“Release me,” he ordered her.
Cailyn almost took a step toward him, but quickly stopped. She needed to put her blocks back in place, but couldn’t do it now. She stilled her emotions and continued to the window. Casting a spell she used all the time, she unlocked the door leading to the balcony and sucked in a deep breath of fresh air.
"Cailyn!" Drocco's shout shuddered through her, and something about it made her stop.
She turned back to him from the door, taking him in. He had pulled his shoulder along the spear, and away from the wall. Blood soaked his clothing, spreading from the wound. It looked painful, and everything in her wanted to go to him, but she reminded herself that the feelings she was having were not real.
"Do you think I will just allow you to leave?" Drocco bellowed, his eyes wild with anger.
“It will be easier for us both if you just let me disappear,” she said, fighting to keep her voice steady.
“Never!” Drocco bellowed. “Wherever you go, I will find you.”
“I’ll never submit to you the way you want, Drocco.”
“Oh, you will,” Drocco replied, gritting his teeth as he yanked his shoulder further down the spear, gouging it deeper as he pushed forward. “After you pay for attacking me, you will do whatever the fuck I want. You think it was bad before? I will destroy you!”
Even as his threat trembled through her, her mind was already clearing now that his scent wasn’t in her nose. “No you won’t,” Cailyn snapped, “because you will never see me again!”
She turned back toward the balcony as the vicious sound of his roar shot through her. Deep in her bones, she knew he was absolutely furious—more than she had ever seen him before. She had to hurry or she would never escape.
Filtering out all noise, she pulled together a thin sheet of magic on the balcony floor. Stepping onto it, she sat down, cross-legged and directed it shakily up into the air. Magic was not supposed to be used to carry weight, but she had no other choice. She wouldn’t survive if she went through the Palace.
Glancing into the room, she saw Drocco pulling his shoulder free of the spear. She gasped, losing focus, and the magical layer quivered underneath her. Desperate, she calmed her mind and stabilized the magic. Drocco ran toward her and she lifted the layer higher into the air. As Drocco entered the balcony and grabbed for her, she sailed over the railing, just out of his reach. She turned to look at him and they stared at each other as she moved further away. His eyes burned into her, his face contorted with anger, and his shoulder bloody and ripped. A shame bubbled within her at her actions. She shouldn’t have hurt him, it wasn’t normal to do that… She blinked and turned away as she sunk into the treetops, cursing her Omega instincts. She had had enough of fighting against them. She maneuvered through the trees and set about installing her blocks back in place, trying to block out the tortured, angry howl tearing through the air from the Alpha she left behind.
***
The market in the southern part of Ashens city square was busier than she’d ever seen it.
Cailyn navigated straight toward one of the stalls, exhausted from her extensive use of magic and from the physical exertion. She’d had to keep the layer maintained the whole way through the forest—she couldn’t afford to leave any clues about where she had gone and the forest floor was too wild for her to step on with her bare feet anyway. After not using the Talent for so long, the considerable use had made her almost incapable of thinking. On top of that, she hadn’t actually walked any reasonable distance during the time Drocco had kept her imprisoned; every muscle screamed out for relief.
“Cailyn, what happened?” Dana, an aged market trader came into view, her neat blond hair swept up in a bun.
Cailyn smiled at her, relieved. She stopped, swaying on her feet. “Good to see you again, Dana. It’s been a tricky mission.”
Dana took her elbow and led her to one of her private booths for clients who wanted to browse goods privately, picking up a pair of sandals and a thick robe on the way.
“I need to speak to the Mothers,” Cailyn murmured.
“In time,” Dana replied, settling her down onto a thick rug. “You’re severely depleted and you smell of…” She hesitated, almost as though she didn’t believe what she was about to say.
“I can’t wait,” Cailyn said. “Please heal me enough to do the spell.”
Dana frowned, her wrinkled eyes sweeping over Cailyn. “What the hell happened?”
Cailyn shook her head. “You know I can’t tell anyone but the Mothers.”
“You reek of Alpha semen,” Dana said sharply. “If you have been discovered—”
“I need to speak with the Mothers,” Cailyn snapped. “The longer I wait, the worse it will be!”
Dana clamped her mouth shut and moved to stand behind Cailyn, placing her hands on either side of her head.
Cailyn sighed as a cool relief filtered into her brain. As the relief expanded she began to feel stronger, and soon her exhaustion had almost disappeared.
Dana removed her hands. “Do you need help making the portal?”
Cailyn shook her head. “No. I’ll be fine, thank you, Dana.”
Dana nodded, her blue eyes resting on Cailyn for a long moment before she moved to the mouth of the booth. “Take as long as you need.”
Cailyn poured some water from the jug on the table and drank the whole glass before settling back on the rug. She always checked in with the Mothers through a mind portal in Dana’s booths when she was in Ashens, but she had no doubt missed a number of check-in times. She didn’t know how long it had been—she hadn’t even asked Dana—but her break in Ricsford wouldn’t have taken so long.
She stilled her body and mind, breathing steadily until her breathing slowed and her heart rate had lowered. Drawing on magic, she created a bubble with a location spell that was aided by the modified magic in the walls of Dana’s booth. She directed it into her mind and called out to the Mothers. It took longer than normal for them to respond, which wasn’t surprising since they weren’t expecting her.
Finally, she felt the pull in her mind and found herself in the familiar briefing room in the Omega Compound. The five white-robed Mothers sat around the curved table, their faces full of varying expressions of concern. She knew they were looking at her mental projection, just as the room was a projection to her, but it felt real in her mind.
“What has happened, Cailyn? Why have you been out of touch for so long?” asked Mother Naysa, the Omega on the far right. “Have you heard the news about an Omega in the Palace?”
“Did you manage to see anything while you were there?” Mother Freya asked. “None of our people have been able to confirm if it’s true.”
Cailyn took a breath, gathering her thoughts for a moment, and then began to tell them what had happened.
The Mothers were much older Omegas, all of whom had been extensively trained as spies and worked for most of their lives protecting Omegas and the Omega Compound. They didn’t leave the Compound now, but ran it successfully for years. Only one of them, Mother Azia had been there at the start of the growth of the Omega Compound. She had been instrumental in the gathering of Omegas in the Eastern Lands and was at least over one hundred and twenty years old. She sat in the middle of the five and rarely spoke, but was most certainly the wisest and the most ruthless. Either side of her were the two auburn twins, Mothers Freya and Fern, and on either side of them Mothers Naysa and Orlee.
As Cailyn arrived at the point of her captivity, three of the Mothers rose from their chairs, horror on their faces.
“Does he know about us?” Mother Freya asked sharply, interrupting.
“Yes,” Cailyn said quietly. “He knows that Omegas have chosen to remove themselves from society because of the brutality of Alphas.”
They stared at her, the silence lengthening.
“What else did you say?” Mother Orlee asked.
“That’s all he knows,” Cailyn insisted. “He doesn’t know where you are or anything else about how we navigate the Lands.” She continued to explain what had happened and when she finished, the Mothers looked a little calmer and thoughtful. The three that stood, sat back down.
“How did he prevent you from using the Talent?” Mother Naysa asked.
“I don’t know,” Cailyn admitted. “And I don’t know how it came back. He seemed to have spoken a spell that allowed me access again… he didn’t seem to know it would do that.”
“This is worrying,” muttered one of the twins. “If he can stop us using the Talent, it will make things difficult for us.”
“We knew he would likely make some discoveries from his acquisition of the Palace,” Mother Orlee responded. “That’s why we sent Cailyn in the first place.”
Cailyn kept her eyes on Mother Azia. She had stared down at the table as Cailyn had spoken and hadn’t moved. The other Mothers discussed and argued for a few minutes about how to deal with Drocco, but Mother Azia seemed to be somewhere else. Cailyn watched Mother Azia closely every time she had any contact with the Mothers, and it was unusual for her to drift away. Finally, Mother Azia moved, and Cailyn was suddenly alert.
Azia rose from her seat, her eyes on Cailyn, and the other Mothers fell silent.
“We will send someone to come and erase your memories of us, Cailyn,” Mother Azia said, her raspy voice low. “Go back to your Alpha.”
A shot of fear and confusion flooded Cailyn’s mind, and the entire projection trembled. “What?”
“He will not let anything happen to you,” Mother Azia continued. “If you are the only Omega known publicly, it is better that you are at least an Empress. Of course, if you bare any Omega children, we will take them.”
The other Mothers stared at Mother Azia and Cailyn’s mouth dropped open, barely believing what she was hearing. “I know I let you down, Mother,” Cailyn said, desperately. “I know I let everyone down. But this punishment is extreme.”
Mother Azia held her eyes, confusion on her leathery face. “This isn’t punishment.” She tilted her head. “You have forgotten some of your training, Cailyn. Tell me, do you think your blocks were truly defective against the effects of this Alpha? Even though they worked for everything else?”
Cailyn thought back to her training, desperate to try and please her favorite Mother. As she did so, the faces of the Mothers around the table dropped one by one. The mood shifted to a somber one, Cailyn being the only one to not understand.
“I don’t know,” she said, finally. “It was something I was going to ask you about.”
“You can only be affected by your true mate through the blocks, Cailyn,” Mother Naysa said, quietly.
Cailyn stared at her, her face knitting in disbelief. Her true mate? Drocco was her true mate? That couldn’t be true. “No,” she said, in horror. “No, no, no. Absolutely not. You’re mistaken, Mother!”
Mother Azia watched her but didn’t say anything.
“He didn’t…” Cailyn thought back to everything that had happened. “He tortured me. He tried to condition me and use my impulses against me.”
Mother Azia turned to leave the room, and Cailyn panicked.
“Mother!” Cailyn called to her, an anger rising. “I will not be cast away. You cannot leave me to suffer at his hand.”
Mother Azia froze and turned slowly. The other Mothers were silent, all their eyes downcast.
“Suffer?” Mother Azia said. “Did you mate with him willingly?”
“I didn’t want to—”
“Did you kiss him? And encourage him into your body?” Mother snapped.
“I’ve already explained,” Cailyn said. “It was my instincts—”
“It was you,” Mother Azia said. “Your Omega instincts are you, Cailyn. They are a part of you you rarely experience while you are blocked, but they are still you.” She paused, puckering her lips. “I’m sorry that you have not been prepared for this. We devote much of the training to warning Omegas of the threat that Alphas can be that we only briefly touch on the true nature of the Alpha/Omega connection. But you must understand that we are genetically compatible with Alphas. We crave much of their nature. Your reaction to him, to your true mate, is normal.”
“No, I was manipulated,” Cailyn insisted. “Yes, some of it was my instincts, but much of it was conditioning.”
Mother’s gray eyes narrowed. “Tell me, did you nest? Did you purr for him? Did you feel ownership of him?”
Cailyn struggled to find a way to answer that didn’t seem so incriminating.
“You were comfortable with him, Cailyn.” Mother’s statement wasn’t stated as an accusation, but Cailyn couldn’t help but see it as one.
“I nested when he was torturing me,” she bit out. “It was the only way to feel safe enough to sleep.”
Mother Azia looked at her appraisingly. “The strength of his scent caused you to nest, Cailyn. It caused you to find a way to deal with the pain, and in order to do that you took comfort in his scent.”
“No, I didn’t,” Cailyn said, anger blazing through her. “You were not there, Mother. I did not take comfort in his scent. I nested on my own.”
“Where did your nest materials come from?”
“His bed.” Cailyn suddenly realized the implication and quickly added, “The bed he tortured me on.”
Mother nodded. “The bed he soiled with his semen and sweat when he tortured you.”
Cailyn opened her mouth to reply but she couldn’t. She was stunned and utterly speechless.
All of the Mothers watched her carefully, and suddenly the truth of her situation descended over her. Tears stung her eyes and nose, and she blinked, trying to come to terms with what was happening.
“You are abandoning me,” she whispered.
“We have trained you and cared for you and supported you your whole life,” Mother Naysa, said gently. “You are one of our best. I don’t want to lose you, my daughter, but this cannot be helped. You have to accept change.”
“The whole Land has been talking about you—we thought the reports of an Omega in the Palace had been faked to bolster Drocco’s support,” said Fern quietly. “If it had been any other Alpha, or any other type of connection, we would have had more options before us.”
“You have found your true mate, Cailyn,” Mother Azia added. “It’s something that should be rejoiced. This is no punishment, this is a gift.”
“I don’t want him.”
“You don’t get to say that,” Mother Azia snapped. “Your life will be filled with pleasures almost no other Omega alive will ever experience. You have already had much that the Omegas in this Compound will never have.”
“Pleasure isn’t everything, Mother,” Cailyn said, her voice breaking. They couldn’t possibly understand the horror of who he was. “He is cruel, and vicious and is only concerned with conquering every challenge that arises. That’s what I am to him. A challenge—something precious only because no one else has it.”
“Did you take time to get to know him?” Mother Orlee asked. “To find out why he is the way he is? Did you have any honest and open conversations with him without any hostility, Cailyn? It is easy to judge when you don’t understand.”
Cailyn stared at her. “Did you hear how he tortured me?”
“Maybe he was as unprepared to deal with your connection as you were,” Mother Fern said.
“How can my true mate be someone I despise? Someone I never want to be around? You say you haven’t prepared me, but I know enough to know that it isn’t normal to hate your true mate.”
“Do you hate him?” Mother Fern asked. “Or do you hate his actions? Did you not find anything about him honorable or interesting?”
“It sounds like you don’t know him well enough to truly hate him, Cailyn,” said Mother Naysa.
Cailyn shook her head in disbelief. How could they be saying this?
“Being true mates doesn’t mean you never disagree or fight,” Mother Azia said. “It means that you’re highly compatible for breeding, it means you’re highly attracted to each other and cannot resist each other’s nature. It means that you are stronger together, and feel complete with each other. True mate couples achieve more and live longer. It is a gift, Cailyn. Even if you don’t think so.”
Cailyn lowered her head, tears stinging her eyes. “But he’s a monster,” she muttered. “How could I be the true mate of someone so…” She couldn’t find the word to complete her dejected thought.
“Did he purr for you?”
Cailyn lifted her eyes. Mother Azia had tears in her eyes and Cailyn suspected she too had experienced the purr of an Alpha. “Yes.”
“Then you know he isn’t a complete monster—he won’t be to you. You said he went days without mating you after he attacked you—did you know that goes against his nature? I have known Omegas on their deathbeds still mated and knotted by their Alphas as viciously as if they weren’t slipping away from this world. He restrained himself for your comfort and your comfort alone. He waited until you were ready to mate again and then let you lead the way. I would say he was trying to redress his actions, trying to apologize, in that confusing way that Alphas do.”
Cailyn was silent for a moment. “He threatened to hurt me when I left,” she said, quietly. “He said when he finds me he will do worse than he did before. You’re asking me to willingly go back to that.”
“He is angry you betrayed him, but he will calm if you return to him,” she said. “The longer you are apart, the more vicious he will become. He will not stop until he has you. That’s another reason why there is no point in you joining us again—you will put us in danger, especially since he already knows we exist. His memory will have to be modified too, if we can get access to him.”
Cailyn took a shaky breath and finally considered the idea. “I don’t know if I can really return to him, Mother. I don’t know if I can deal with who he is. He wants me to be submissive to him and he is keen to have multiple women for sex… When I left, it began to seem like it wasn’t really that intense—like it wasn’t real.”
“I can assure you it was real, Cailyn,” Mother said gently. “That kind of bond cannot be faked. It’s your blocks making it seem that way. As for who Drocco is… you just need to find a way to tame him for yourself. You have more power than you think. And although he may try, no Alpha will have an interest in any female that isn’t his destined Omega once he has met her, and certainly not once he has mated her.” Mother Azia smiled as glistening tears dropped onto her cheeks. “Go to your Alpha, my daughter.”
***
Cailyn wandered the market, her mind in turmoil.
Everything the Mothers had said revolved in her mind until one thing became clear; she could not return to the Omega Compound. She would never be able to return. She would never be a spy again, she would never see Viktoya or Amara or any of the Mothers. She cried silently as she walked, the market’s muddle scents and sounds blurring her senses. Her life had changed so dramatically, and she didn’t even know how it happened.
She wandered through the port, along the edge of the sea traders’ stalls, wondering how she could possibly return to Drocco. Yes, when it was good, it was fantastic, but it was always a physical thing—their personalities did not match. She was not the submissive he wanted, and he was not the kind of Alpha she would ever have chosen. Still, there was obviously something between them if they were true mates. There had been a spark of potential there when they hadn’t spoken for days on end, but was that what being true mates meant? That you didn’t speak for fear of upsetting each other? Her mind drifted over what Mother Orlee mentioned—an honest, open conversation. Drocco didn’t seem capable of that.
Her tears flowed as she thought back through all her missions, all her training, all of the extensive exercises to skill her Talent—all useless. That life was gone. How could the Mothers discard her so easily? How could they erase all of that knowledge too?
She sighed, turning to head away from the port, when a strong-smelling cloth slammed over her nose and mouth. A number of hands grabbed her and she froze in shock before fighting against their hold. A dizziness swept over her and she lost her balance.
Someone wrapped an arm around her waist, propping her up against their own body.
“Have you got her?” a female voice said to her right.
“Yes, let’s go,” said the man who held her.
They moved along in silence for a little while and Cailyn could do nothing but allow herself to be half-dragged, half-carried. Her body didn’t respond to her instruction and her mind was too blurry to use the Talent, but at least her blocks remained in place. Her mood dropped. Drocco had already found her before she even had the chance to decide.
After a little while, they stopped and the man that held her struck up a conversation with another man, although Cailyn couldn’t keep up with what they were saying. Eventually, the man continued to shuffle her forward, passing the man he was just speaking to, and stepping on a bridge that hovered over the distinctive white foamy waves of the White Ocean. Her heart began to pound when she glimpsed the side entrance of an enormous ship at the end of the bridge.
“We leave immediately,” said the man they passed.
“Excellent,” said the man dragging her toward the ship. “May Eiros thrive and be wealthy.”
End of Book One
Thank you for reading Crave to Conquer. If you enjoyed the story, please take a minute to leave a review. Your review will help new readers decide if the book is for them. Reviews are crucial in helping to spread the word and I’d be grateful for your time if you could spare a moment :)
Crave to Conquer is the first book in the Myth of Omega series. The next book, Crave to Capture, continues Drocco and Cailyn’s story and ends on a cliffhanger.
Read on for the sneak peek!