I pace back and forth in my office, phone to my ear, listening to my friend Jacoby go on and on about this bachelor auction that’s taking place. A fucking bachelor auction. So, a bunch of desperately bored women get the illusion of winning a date with a prince charming. It’ll be just one night, but one they will pay a lot of money for. This entire thing has irritating written all over it. But I need to remember why Jacoby is doing this. I lost a stupid bet eight months ago and he chose this to cash in on. His reasons for doing this are understandable. Only a total douche would say no. The reason for his involvement is the same reason I won’t put up much of a fight.

Jacoby’s brother, Kevin, was a vet who had a really hard time when he came home. He ended up taking his own life which devastated everyone who knew him. I remember being there with Jacoby and his other brothers through it all. I was his shoulder to cry on, his punching bag, the person he vented to when he needed to. I also took him out and got him shit-faced when he wanted to be numb. I made sure he was safe and wasn’t alone. However, things will never be the same for Jacoby and his brothers. Shit, if I’m being honest, I won’t ever be the same either, but we are getting through it and the brothers are slowly finding their new normal.

“Dude, really?” I ask as he pulls out the ‘you owe me’ card. I rake my hand through my thick, dark hair and let out an exaggerated sigh.

He chuckles. Fucking chuckles because he knows he’s got me.

“What? Nadine said you already agreed and I figured I’d seal the deal, so you wouldn’t back out.” The innocent tone of his voice makes me laugh. Of all things my best friend is, innocent is not one of them. He didn’t get the nickname of Joker for innocence!

“Just email me the details,” I concede.

“I’ll let Nadine know and she’ll give you the details. The only thing is, we are going to be anonymous so don’t go talking to people about it.”

“By people, I assume you mean Sienna?”

“That’s exactly who I mean. Your sister is a trip, but she doesn’t know when to shut up!” My head falls back in laughter because he is so right. It’s only been her and me for the past few years since our parents retired, sold everything except the house, bought an RV, and now travel the country like the two crazy kids they are. They check in physically every six months or so. We get postcards and care packages from various places all the time. When my parents left, they deeded the house to me and my sister. She’s my roommate and my best friend and, as annoying as she can be sometimes, I love her to pieces.

“Nadine wants us all wearing tuxedos and masks. She thinks that it will be fairer, or whatever, if the people bidding don’t know who they are bidding on,” he groans.

“The auction is one thing but having to dress up and be all Christian Grey is going to cost you,” I snicker.

“Who the fuck is Christian Grey?” Jacoby wants to know.

“That Fifty Shades dude. I lost another bet and Sienna dragged me to one of those movies.”

He barks out a laugh. “Dude, I think you need to stop making bets.”

“I think you may be right.”

We hang up and I go back to work. I’m a writer for our local newspaper’s travel and leisure sections. I love my job. I get to travel and see new places. I get to try all the local hotspots before they become hotspots. I know about all the hidden gems in our city. My sister is always hitting me up for suggestions. Right now, I’m working on an article about a new café that opened last weekend right on the Riverwalk. What’s cool about this, is that it’s a father and son who are living out a family member’s dying wish. The entire community chipped in with everything from monetary donations to manual labor. At the opening, the woman, who was dying of cancer, was wheeled in by a nurse with the IV in her arm and had a cup of what they called Mama’s Decaf. The smiles and the tears that flowed that day were nothing I ever experienced before. She passed away the next day. As sad as it was, it was amazing to see how everyone came together to make it happen.

“So, I hear you’re going to be bachelor number five.” Nadine’s amused voice cuts through my thoughts.

Nadine is my co-worker and the genius, a term I use loosely, behind the bachelor auction. She had approached me when she first came up with the idea and I turned her right down. Told her I didn’t want to shake my shit around for some pathetic, lonely women. She badgered me a few times and I always dismissed her. However, from my conversation with Joker, it looks like she’s got me. The two of them should go on the road with how comedic they think they are.

I look up from my laptop, adjust my thick-framed glasses and see her smirk.

“You mean I’ve been hoodwinked into doing it. You told Jacoby I said yes. He pulls the IOU card out and now I get to go parade my ass around in front of women who can’t get a date on their own so they’ll pay thousands of dollars to not feel so lonely”.

“Colton, you know it’s not like that.” She sits down in the empty, navy cloth-covered chair on the opposite side of my desk.

“Do I, Nadine?”

She rolls her eyes at me. “We needed something different to go along with the silent auction. Something that would bring in a lot of attendees and a lot of money. You know it’s for a great cause.”

I do know this. This charity is one that we all have supported. Being in Norfolk, a huge Naval town, we all know of someone who gave their life for this country, who are currently overseas, or who have come back from war never to be the same again.

“I know. Even though I don’t agree with it, I’ll be the best damn bachelor you ever had!” I give her a big, fake smile and she laughs.

“You’ll be nice though, right?”

“Of course, I’ll be nice, I’ll keep my snarky remarks to Jacoby.” I smile, she scoffs.

“Anyway, when you have a chance, I need you to send me the information about your date.”

“I… what?” Confusion washes over me.

“Your date. The bachelors need to plan and pay for the date. Didn’t Jacoby explain anything to you?”

“Nope. All I know is tux and mask and not to talk to Sienna about it.”

She laughs. “Yes, to all of the above. You can tell her but don’t tell her what your date is. She has a lot of cute single friends, so having her spread the word isn’t a bad idea.”

“So, what are you thinking about for a date?” she asks.

I look at my computer and see that I have to cover the opening of a new amusement park. The night before is for press only. I have two passes. That could be fun, and they have a dinner on top of the Ferris wheel. They have dinner cars with a table and they set out the food for you, take you to the very top, and stop. You have an hour to eat and enjoy your meal. Their menu has a wide range of choice from filet mignon to buffalo wings. The only problem I can foresee happening is if there an issue with your food and you’re suspended 300 feet in the air. Another plus is, if we are riding all the rides, I don’t have to listen to some woman who will probably annoy the shit out of me, babbling on about stuff I don’t want to hear.

“This.” hand her the packet I received in the mail about the amusement park.

“Colton McDaniels, you wouldn’t!”

I shrug. “Why not? It’s a casual, fun time and I can work at the same time.” Not to mention, I don’t have to waste my money on some chick desperate enough to pay to go on a date with me. Sure, it’s a dick move but everyone knows I don’t want to do this.

“Did you tell Jacoby?”

“How could I? I just found out I need to plan this date, thirty seconds ago.”

Nadine lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Look, you need a body and here I am. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.” I flash her a smile and she relaxes.

“I really don’t think it’s a great idea to bring a date to something for work, but I’m grateful that Jacoby bought my lie and further twisted your arm to get you to do it,” she says as gets up and starts walking to the door.

“Ha! So, you admit you’re a liar!” I love pushing her buttons.

“I got the hottest reporter in the area to be bachelor number five so it was worth it.” She pauses, a thoughtful look crosses her face. “Listen, try not to be so cynical, Colton. You never know. This auction could change your life.” She smiles and walks out the door.

Doubtful, I think to myself. I’m picky as hell when it comes to women. I am not one of those people that will fuck anything with two tits, a hole, and a heartbeat - let alone date just anyone. It’s been a really long time since anyone has kept my attention for more than a night or two. Would it be nice to meet someone? I guess. I just haven’t been in that mindset for a while. I travel a lot. I like my life the way it is and when I think about the amount of work it takes to cultivate a new relationship, I just don’t feel like putting in that time right now. Maybe if the right person came around. But right now, she hasn’t and if she does, I doubt she’ll be the highest bidder.