She felt tired and drained of energy. Maybe it was just because of how stressful things had been over the last few months, the freezing weather or all the chaos that there had been at work recently.
Actually, that morning she’d only had a couple of relatively simple photo shoots to do, after which she had dedicated herself to selecting, photo-shopping and printing off the photos for Sydney’s calendar.
They had come out really well. All the models were handsome and credible in the roles they were playing, and Syd was just gorgeous. What really stood out, though, was how much she had obviously genuinely enjoyed posing for those photos, and that had really pleased Brooke Samuels. The idea had begun as a way of bringing a smile back to her friend’s face and it could confidently be stated that she had achieved her objective.
It was five days until Valentine’s Day and the calendar was almost ready. She would send the photos to Brooke for approval before sending everything off to the printers, but Zoe was sure Brooke wouldn’t find anything wrong with them. The shoot had been a real success.
A success that, after dismantling the set and returning to her apartment, had left her with a splitting headache which was still throbbing annoyingly at her temples after an almost sleepless night and two aspirin.
Especially after the strange dream she’d had about Eric.
Again.
“It’s just because Valentine’s Day is getting nearer and it has this effect on you,” she repeated to herself for the umpteenth time, rubbing her forehead. All that love in the air could go to your head.
But when Eric loomed into view, her justification crumbled before her eyes like a sand castle.
Damn it, she just couldn’t look at him any more without seeing him naked! Beneath his striped sweater, his unpretentious jeans and the inevitable spectacles on his nose, all she could see now was that toned, wiry physique that had left her breathless.
She had seen a multitude of men undress in her life, both for work and for pleasure, and she had usually found herself being attracted to the macho, muscular types, so she was struggling to understand her reaction to Eric’s more subtle beauty. Yet even fully clothed it was easy to make out from the breadth of his shoulders, his exciting athletic physique and his height. How come she hadn’t noticed how potentially sexy he was before?
It was her job, damn it! To grasp the nuances, the personality behind a face, the harmony of a body, it was all part of her success as a photographer. Instead, after ten years of friendship, she’d never managed to see the young man’s exciting qualities – she had been blinded by his nondescript appearance, by his unassuming way of going about things and by that shyness of his that seemed to be always holding him back from doing what he really wanted to…
Sexy? Exciting?
Why had she suddenly started thinking about Eric that way? Seeing him naked certainly hadn’t changed things. Clover was right, he was still the clever know-it-all that they all knew, and the fact that he was suddenly able to make her drool simply by wearing a skimpy cotton skirt and a layer of baby oil to highlight his muscles or by wearing a pair of wings and holding a bow and arrow shouldn’t really change anything.
“You okay?”
The voice, as warm as the hand that rested gently on her back, surprised her, and Zoe sat up suddenly and turned round.
“Yup!” she exclaimed hastily. The idea that Eric might be able to read her thoughts by looking into her eyes made her turn her face away immediately.
Eric looked puzzled. “It looked as though your head was about to hit the counter.”
“It was kind of you to worry.”
“It wasn’t kindness, it’s my job. We need that counter, I can’t let your head collide with it. It might get broken,” he joked.
Relaxing slightly, Zoe pulled a face. Now she recognized her lifelong friend.
“Ha-ha-ha. How hilarious.”
“Hey, what can you do. I’ve discovered new opportunities that previously weren’t accessible to me. After my recent experience as a sex symbol, I might almost even consider taking up stand-up comedy.”
“A man of many hidden talents, no doubt about it.”
Zoe watched him place a huge, fluffy heart in the window and found herself craning her neck to get a better view.
Good God, she was looking at his butt!
Pulling herself together she got up quickly, covering her eyes with her hands.
“What are you doing?” asked Eric, walking back over to stand next to her.
“I’ve got a headache.”
“Go and take a rest, I’ll take care of things here.”
“No, I need some distraction. You have to edit Brooke’s video. I haven’t got anything to do until four and with this weather I doubt many people are likely to come by. I can manage.”
Eric stopped in front of her, his green-blue eyes looking anxious behind his lenses.
“You sure? I can do the video tonight.”
“Haven’t you got anything better to do than taking work home with you?”
“No, actually, I haven’t,” he replied without hesitation.
Zoe stared at him. “And what about Stephanie?”
Eric hid his slight embarrassment behind a careless gesture.
“I didn’t mean it like that. But she has another commitment tonight, so I’m free.” He went back to staring at her attentively, and Zoe felt herself getting agitated. “Is that invitation for a pizza still going? I mean, I still haven’t forgiven you.”
“Err… I don’t know” she hesitated uneasily, something she had never done before. What the hell was happening?
“You’re right, sorry. You don’t feel very well, and then there’s all this snow. Forget I asked.” Eric gave her a pat on the back and disappeared into his office without giving her time to answer. Moreover, it would have taken her several minutes to put together a meaningful sentence, since her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth.
With a groan, she lay her head on the cold counter.
The door opened letting a soaked but smiling Clover in as Liberty came down the stairs.
Zoe sighed.
“Look at her, Lib. She’s been out in this awful weather and yet she still manages to smile!”
“The power of love!” Clover sighed, and put her hands to her chest. “Cade came back last night.”
Zoe turned to her boss. “Can I kill her now or do you need her for anything?”
“Ask me again after Valentine’s Day – right now she’s almost indispensable,” said Liberty, turning towards the coffee machine that was in a niche behind the counter.
Clover moved towards the counter and waved a paper bag under Zoe’s nose. “If I offer you a frosted donut will you forgive me for being so happy?”
Zoe took it.
“Only if I can have all of them. I’m going to need a lot of sugar to fight off this pervasive sadness.”
“Sadness? Everyone’s so damn sickly-sweet at the moment I’m starting to worry about getting tooth decay,” muttered Liberty, warming her hands on her cup of coffee.
Zoe looked at her in surprise. “You too, Lib?”
“Me too, what?”
“I thought I was the only bitter, jealous one in here. I mean, it would be normal – I’m the only one who’s single.”
“I’m not jealous,” smiled the blonde. “Have you ever seen me sighing dreamily or going into raptures over romantic drivel?”
“No, actually.”
“A little sweetness would do you good, Lib,” said Clover, offering her boss the bag of donuts. “Have one.”
Liberty stepped backwards as if she’d been confronted by the devil. “No thanks!”
Clover raised her eyebrows. “What have you got against sweet things? You always react to them like you’re being offered rat poison.”
“Hey, it took me years to get into a size forty, I’m not going to let a handful of carbohydrates ruin everything again,” she snapped, turning on her heel and marching off to her office.
Zoe and Clover looked at each other in amazement, then launched into their donuts.
“How’s it going?”
Zoe shrugged. “Aside from the headache, business as usual.”
“Eric?” Clover asked, holding back a laugh as she saw her raise her head sharply.
“If you want to know how Eric is, ask him,” she huffed, trying to make light of the situation. Clover had been watching her suspiciously since the day before, she knew something was up. Moreover, after her weird reaction to seeing Eric naked, it was hardly surprising. “Stop looking at me like that,” she said threateningly.
“Zoe, when you dropped your camera, I thought I was going to die with laughter!” chuckled Clover. “If I were going to draw that expression of yours from yesterday in a cartoon, you’d have your mouth wide open and drooling, your eyes bulging out of their sockets and your heart pounding visibly under your blouse! I could ask Lib to do us a sketch…”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Zoe sank her teeth deeper into her donut. “I dropped the camera because I was distracted.”
“Oh, yes! We all noticed.”
“Give it a rest, it’s not what you think,” Zoe repeated to Clover and to herself, hoping that she sounded convincing. Thinking back to that awkward moment and her subsequent dreams, the alternative was to admit that she had been disturbed by that magnetic gaze and by all the desire that Eric had communicated to her in that particular moment. But it was just coincidence, obviously. It had been her who had told him to put more passion into it while he was posing for the calendar pictures. Eric had just carried out her orders.
Perfectly.
“I must admit he did look really good dressed as Cupid,” Clover continued, undeterred. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Exactly. So you can understand my surprise.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t stand there with my mouth hanging open like someone starving to death at the sight of a table set for a Fourth of July picnic! Though it’s true that I didn’t get to see what was under his skirt…”
Zoe nearly choked on her last mouthful of donut and coughed loudly, much to the amusement of Clover, who added, “It’s a pity that he has a girlfriend now.”
Recovering slowly, Zoe brushed the crumbs from her hands. “It wouldn’t change anything. We’ve been friends for a long time, and yet we seem to spend half of our time bickering over nothing. Us two being together would be a disaster, it would ruin everything. I’m too complicated for a straightforward guy like Eric. I’d make him miserable.”
The triumphant look on Clover’s face made her realize that she had fallen into a carefully prepared trap. And suddenly she understood.
Her words had highlighted an accurate analysis of the situation: she had practically admitted that she had seriously considered the hypothesis of a relationship between her and Eric.
She hastened to rectify the situation. “Well, this conversation is neither here nor there, anyway. Feeling embarrassed about seeing a friend completely naked doesn’t mean anything.”
“I wasn’t suggesting anything – you did that all by yourself,” smiled Clover, picking up the now empty donut bag. “I’m going to call my next customer. If I can finish soon, I can go home early and see Cade. The snow does have some good points, after all. Among other things, it discourages people from wasting time shopping and it creates a very romantic atmosphere!”
Zoe saw her go into the office she shared with Eric, and sighed for the umpteenth time that day.
She would have preferred not to have to deal with people who were in love until Valentine’s Day was over and done with – and perhaps not even afterwards. Instead all she seemed to do was meet dreamy-eyed women, and men intent on surprising their partners with special gifts.
And speaking of the devil… The door opened again, and in came Stephanie. Zoe felt a small flicker of irritation. It wasn’t unusual to see her in Giftland, and she knew that the relationship between her and Eric had become more serious after that disastrous evening when the four of them had been out together. But she wasn’t expecting to see her that particular day. Eric had said that they weren’t seeing each other.
“Hello Zoe,” Steffy smiled, brushing the snow off her jacket.
“I wasn’t expecting you today. Not this early, anyway.”
“I wasn’t going to come, actually. But before going to my best friend’s bridal shower, I decided to pop in and surprise Eric.” The blonde shrugged, her face glowing with happiness. “I’d be sorry to miss even a moment that I could spend with him.”
“I see,” Zoe deftly changed the subject. “Your friend is getting married, then?”
“Yes, on Valentine’s Day and luckily the wedding is at the Plaza, so at least we’ll be dry. They’re forecasting a blizzard for that night.”
“Well I’m glad I’ll be spending it in the warmth of my apartment, then,” Zoe smiled, lying through her teeth.
“You and your boyfriend are celebrating at home?” asked Stephanie candidly.
Zoe felt a sudden and irresistible urge to strangle her.
Fortunately, she didn’t need to reply because Steffy continued thoughtfully. “I don’t know what will happen. I mean, Eric and I are going out together, it’s true, but I don’t know if we can really call ourselves a couple yet. So I don’t know whether to ask him to come to Nicole’s wedding with me or not.”
“You haven’t been together long enough to figure out what direction your relationship will take yet?”
“But I would still like to give him a little present.” Stephanie lowered her voice. “What do you suggest? You know Eric much better than I do.”
“Oh,” Zoe looked around, taken aback. “I know what he likes, that’s true, but I can’t choose something for Valentine’s Day. It’s not the same as getting him a birthday present or a Christmas present.”
“I don’t want to just get him the usual chocolates, or some tacky card.” The girl began to wander round the stands full of overflowing hearts, cards with hearts on, dolls that held hearts, hearts in various sizes and textures, all strictly bright red. “I would like to give him something simple, something that’s not going to frighten him, but something that’s sweet enough for the occasion and original enough to elicit a smile.”
“Ok, let’s see.” Zoe followed her, scanning the merchandise.
“How about this?” Steffy asked, grabbing a key ring in the shape of the Statue of Liberty holding a sceptre in the shape of a heart. Zoe shook her head.
“Eric doesn’t particularly like key rings. He’s kept the same one he’s always had for years and apparently has no intention of changing it, even if he does actually need to.”
Now she thought about it, it had been her who had given it to him, shortly after his graduation.
“Oh, you mean the one of the Empire State Building? You’re right, it’s completely worn out.” Stephanie shook her head. “Maybe it holds some sentimental value for him. No key ring then. I don’t want to risk giving him something that he wouldn’t appreciate. Please help me! Put yourself in my shoes and tell me what I could possibly give him after being with him for such a short time.”
Put yourself in my shoes…
Zoe tried to imagine herself as ‘Eric’s girl’. She saw herself being surrounded by his attentiveness, constantly looking into those bluey-green eyes as they peered out over the upper edge of his glasses, being comforted by his gentle voice…
And close to that body that she had thought was almost scrawny but was actually strong and sexy, and…
“Here we go again!”
She shook the disturbing images that filled her head away and began to think seriously about what could possibly be a romantic but fun gift for someone like Eric. After a few minutes of looking around her, her eyes fell upon one of the many cuddly toys that she had put out on display that very morning: a teddy bear clad in pyjamas, wearing slippers and glasses. A small, hidden button, when pushed, made it play the chorus of Rod Stewart’s ‘Da Ya Think I’m Sexy ?’ while the bear gyrated his hips gently. Under the pyjamas, which were fastened by a zip, the bear was wearing a red shirt that said, ‘I like you. Do you like me?’
“I’d get him this,” she smiled, taking it off the stand. “It’s perfect for him.”
Stephanie pressed the button, chuckling to herself, then turned it off. “It’s really cute, just like him! And especially because – and this is just between me and you – beneath all that good-guy stuff, Eric is… well, wow!”
And judging by the twinkle in her eyes, Steffy was not just referring to Eric’s physical appearance. Zoe began to suspect that her friend might have several other cards up his sleeve of whose existence she was completely unaware.
Refusing categorically to imagine sleeping with him, she grabbed the bear and took it over to the counter. “I’ll wrap it up before he sees it.”
She had just finished tightening the red bow when Eric emerged from his office, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. Seeing Stephanie he paused, looking surprised.
“Hello. What are you doing here?”
“I just came by to say ‘hello’, as we’re not going to be seeing each other tonight.”
Zoe saw her approach him, rise up on tiptoe and kiss him on the lips. She looked away. “Just to let them have a bit of privacy,” she said to herself.
But the slight flutter in her stomach didn’t really convince her at all.
She busied herself filling the space left by the teddy bear on the stand, so that Eric wouldn’t notice it was missing, and waited for the two of them to say ‘goodbye’ to each other. Fortunately, Stephanie left without further ado, leaving her free to return to the counter.
“Tell me, Steffy had a romantic gift for me in her hand, didn’t she?” asked Eric, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.
“Don’t you want to get a present from your girlfriend?”
“We’ve only just started dating…”
Zoe dismissed his excuse with a shrug of her shoulders. “It’s nearly Valentine’s Day, it’s natural that she wants to get a gift for the person she’s sleeping with. Even if it’s still early days, I’m guessing both parties are interested in continuing this relationship. Or am I wrong?”
Eric froze. “Did she tell you that we…?”
“My dear, I don’t need anyone to explain certain things to me, I’m old enough to know the ways of the world,” joked Zoe, giving him a pat on his nose. “Anyway, your girlfriend looked really happy. So… well, bravo!”
Eric’s ears began to turn a slight shade of red. “You women really can’t help talking about these kind of things, can you?”
“You men are even worse. Drawing up charts of all your sexual conquests, giving women marks on their physical attributes as though they were horses for sale – and going into very specific details.”
“I don’t do that.”
Yeah, not him. Not the sweet, polite guy standing in front of her.
Zoe smiled, softening. “There should be more Eric Morgans in the world. If that were the case, I might even decide to keep one for myself,” she added, winking at him. She had deliberately said it jokingly, but she was taken aback by how heartfelt her words had sounded.
Was it possible that her feelings for Eric had changed so suddenly? Surely it couldn’t have been just the fact of seeing him naked that had this weird effect, could it?
“I suppose I should think about a present too,” he said, distracting her. “For Stephanie.”
“Tell me what would you like to give her and I’ll give you the benefit of my female insight.”
“I’ve no idea. What could a girl who has only been out with me a few times without us having anything approaching a serious conversation possibly want?”
“If you want something deeper with her than just a regular appointment between the sheets but you’re still not quite sure about how all of this is going to turn out, choose something classic. We women are quite easy to please – flowers, chocolates, a few sweet words and a bit of originality in the way you wrap the whole thing up and there you have it, we melt like snow in the sun.”
“A bit of originality in the way I wrap the whole thing up…” murmured Eric thoughtfully. Then he nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
I don’t care, I don’t care…
Zoe repeated the words to herself as she stared at the shop window without even really seeing it.
But it did bother her – it bothered her plenty.
Giving romantic advice to men, advice that they would then use on other women, was really depressing.
*
Something classic, wrapped up in an original way…
Eric kept mulling over those words and wondering what exactly he should do.
Every year on Valentine’s Day, completely anonymously, he gave Zoe a small present, and every year, without fail, his gift ended up in the pile of flowers, cards and chocolates that Zoe received from her many admirers.
He knew he couldn’t really expect otherwise, given the situation. It was cowardly of him, but he deliberately chose that day to give her a little sign of his love, aware that it would pass almost unnoticed. The first few years, Zoe had been intrigued by the nameless little packet that was amongst the others, but then she had gradually got used to its silent presence.
Just as she had got used to him.
But Eric didn’t want to pass unnoticed, or to be just something she was used to. It was time to change their relationship.
He had noticed a subtle change in the way Zoe had been behaving since he had posed for that stupid calendar. Maybe it was just his impression, but she seemed a bit less relaxed in his company, almost as though she felt uncomfortable. There was still camaraderie and affection, of course, but sometimes the strange light he glimpsed in those curiously beautiful cat’s eyes of hers surprised him, and the idea that there could be something between them that wasn’t just friendship made him tremble like a kid in front of a candy store.
He would never just be able to declare the feelings he had been hiding for years out of the blue like that. He needed a gimmick to help him do it, and a Valentine’s gift that was sweet, romantic and original could be a good way to start.
He glanced at Zoe, leaning against the counter looking thoughtful. She looked more and more beautiful every day. Those delicate features, her slightly almond-shaped eyes, her porcelain skin… Nature had really created a work of art when it had sculpted her face, never mind the rest of her!
With those tight jeans, her red v-necked sweater and her hair pulled back to reveal the long white curve of her neck, she was irresistible. Her slender fingers fiddled with a heart-shaped pendant that he himself had given her, in secret, one Valentine’s Day in the past, and it drew his eye to her pert, firm breasts which were highlighted by the fabric of her sweater. Over the last few days she had relinquished the role of stiletto wearing man-eater, but that didn’t mean she was any less sexy. Her sensuality was innate, like a second skin. It was still there even when she was wearing pyjamas.
It was inconceivable to him to think of her being single. None of the guys who had been lucky enough to get her attention had understood a damn thing – that was obvious from the ease with which they had let her slip away.
Some customers came into the shop, disturbing them both from their silent reflections. Eric was about to assist the newcomers when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Zoe stiffen at the sight of a guy in a suit approaching the counter. Intrigued, he stayed where he was.
“Zoe? Is that you?” exclaimed the man, sounding surprised.
“Stuart,” she replied, her face expressionless.
Eric pulled himself up to his full six feet, every nerve in his body at the ready.
It was Stuart Harris, Zoe’s ex-boyfriend. That bastard, the one who had betrayed her in the worst possible way and the only one she had really suffered over, was rapidly walking towards them. He had only seen Stuart briefly a couple of times four years earlier. Not enough to remember that stupid face of his. Dark hair, blue eyes, and an intense look about him. He wasn’t a gym bunny but he was tall and elegant – a fairly ordinary type who somehow had managed to conquer Zoe’s heart like nobody else.
He had hated him then and he hated him now.
“What a surprise. I knew you had changed jobs, but I didn’t expect to see you here,” said Stuart with a smile as he leant on the counter like an old friend.
What a nerve!
“Me neither,” Zoe said, folding her arms over her chest. Eric saw Stuart slyly glance at Zoe’s breasts, which were now emphasised by her posture, and felt a sudden, almost physical, desire to break his nose.
“Oh Zoe, you still have that wild temper I remember so well,” he chuckled, shaking his head.
“What do you want, Stu?”
“I saw you through the shop window and came in to say ‘hello’.”
Stuart looked at her almost tenderly, but Eric didn’t believe a word of it, not even for a moment. “I know you’ll find it hard to believe, but I am really pleased to see you.”
“Well yeah, actually, I do find it pretty hard to believe,” sighed Zoe as she he stepped back. “Thanks for coming in to say ‘hello’, but, as you can see, I’m busy.”
“Why don’t we get together one of these nights?” said Stuart with a serious expression. “I would really like to have a chat with you.”
Zoe pulled an incredulous face. “Are you kidding me? Why would I want to talk to you?”
“There was something very strong between us, don’t you remember? We were together for two years.”
“Of course I remember, just like I remember how you went to bed with Miranda!” she snapped, shaking her head. “You are disgusting, coming in here and asking me out like nothing ever happened.”
“You never let me explain what really happened,” he protested, walking round the counter when he saw her moving away. “Even if you’re not in love with me any more, just let me explain so at least you have one good thing to remember about what there was between us.”
“Explain? Explain what? You had been screwing my best friend for a month when I found out. She told me everything.”
“Miranda was envious of you. She told you a pack of lies.”
Eric saw Zoe’s eyes darken and she looked distant and confused. He felt himself starting to panic.
She wasn’t going to fall for all that nonsense, right?
He stepped forward and took her hand, intending to comfort her with his presence. He felt her relax instantly and cling to his side. He was ready to do anything to stop that idiot from messing with her head any more.
Stuart noticed the gesture and raised his eyebrows.
“Are you two together?” he asked cautiously.
Eric didn’t answer. Zoe gave him a quick glance before turning her eyes back upon her former boyfriend.
“That’s none of your business.”
“Look, I’m in town for work and I’m going to be staying here locally for a while, Zoe,” said Stuart, adjusting his jacket. “It doesn’t matter whether you’re seeing someone or not, I’d still like to talk to you about what happened and try and clear things up once and for all. I don’t want you to think ill of me, I have really happy memories of the two years we spent together.”
He looked at them both, pausing for a moment to look at Eric, then moved to leave.
“Think about it. I’ll be in touch.”
When he left the store, Zoe fell back against Eric’s chest, her fingers still intertwined with his. Eric put his arm around her, resting his chin on her soft hair.
“You’re not actually going to believe all that nonsense, are you?” he murmured, terrified at the thought. He had watched her put up with Stuart Harris’s ridiculous behavior rather than lose his ‘love’ so many times while they had been together. The guy had always had a powerful influence over her – was it possible that he still did, even all these years after they had split up?
“Of course not,” said Zoe with a sigh. “But seeing him has shaken me up all the same. He had the exact same look in his eyes that he had all those years ago, that look that always confused me.”
“Yeah, and he had the same idea in his head while he was staring at your tits too,” mumbled Eric, squeezing her hand tightly.
Zoe giggled. “Why do you think that no guy ever looks me in the eye when he’s talking to me?”
“Try wearing a sack if you want them to look at your face. But it’ll need to go right down to your feet and be wide enough to hide all your curves – and I’m still not sure you’d get the desired effect.”
“You’re sweet,” murmured Zoe, giving him a hug. “Do you think I’ll ever find someone who wants me for more than my looks?”
You’ve already found him, thought Eric. But he kept the thought to himself, merely planting a kiss on her forehead. “I’m going to serve those customers. If you need me, give me a shout.”
Turning away, his only thought was that he had to somehow do something about this situation between them as soon as possible. But first, there was another prickly issue that he needed to sort out… He felt a pang of guilt as he realized that he had been thinking about how to win Zoe over without worrying in the slightest about Stephanie and what she felt for him.
He was a lowlife. He had taken advantage of that girl’s sweetness to try – completely pointlessly – to drive Zoe from his mind, and now he had no idea what to do or how to behave.
But he couldn’t be with Steffy if he didn’t love her, no woman deserved that. Better to end the affair immediately before the girl got strange ideas. He would tell her the truth – being honest was better than giving her some feeble excuse, of that he was sure.
*
He felt a bit less sure of himself later that evening when he found himself at the door of Stephanie’s small apartment in Little Italy. How could he tell one girl that he was madly in love with another? Would Steffy, like all his other exes, understand right away who the woman in question was? Would she make a scene or just burst into tears?
God, he never knew how to behave in front of a woman in tears. He preferred being yelled at, or something thrown at him…
When he got to the fourth floor of the brightly-colored building he paused in front of the door. Now that he came to think of it, he wasn’t that crazy about the idea of being hit in the head by some blunt flying object either.
Stephanie opened the door wrapped in a pink towel, her hair wet from the shower. “Eric, hello!” She smiled, surprised to see him. She stood aside to let him pass and bit her lower lip as he noticed what a mess the room was. “Erm, I’m sorry about this, but I was in the process of getting ready for this evening and wasn’t expecting anyone…”
“Don’t worry. It should be me apologizing, I’m the one turning up here without warning,” Eric sighed, feeling increasingly more uncomfortable.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, staring at him.
Eric looked up at her, his face serious and sad.
“I need to talk to you and I’m sorry to have to do it at the start of what should be a fun night out, but I can’t wait any longer. It wouldn’t be right.”
Alarmed, Steffy took a step backwards.
“Maybe it would be better if I put some clothes on,” she said in a quiet voice, before rushing off into the bathroom.
Left alone, Eric looked around him. He had been in her apartment before, of course, and thought it was it lovely – small but cheerful, just like its owner. The vanilla colored walls and exposed brickwork gave it an air of intimacy and individuality, and the brightly colored furniture gave it a fun atmosphere. In another universe – one where Zoe didn’t exist – Eric would have taken real pleasure in spending his time somewhere like this with a girl like Stephanie. The few days he had spent with her had been nice… but there was no point continuing to lead her – and himself – on. As adorable as Steffy was, he’d just go on comparing her to Zoe and now it was more certain than ever that he could not break free from that obsession.
She returned, wearing a t-shirt and a pair of leggings, her hair in a ponytail. She was holding a red bag with a pretty bow, Eric instantly recognized it as the Valentine’s Day gift she had bought from Giftland that very afternoon.
“Before you say anything… this is for you. I got it today when I came to say ‘hello’ to you in the store. It’s just a little something that Zoe helped me pick out.”
Eric took the bag, feeling cowardly. He was tempted not to open it, but one look at Stephanie’s bright eyes dissuaded him. It was as if she already knew. He pulled the teddy bear out of the bag and smiled sadly.
“I’m really sorry, Steffy, believe me,” he muttered.
“Did I do something wrong? Was I too clingy, or did I try and move too fast?”
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. The problem is me.”
She shook her head, a bitter smile on her lips. “Yeah. That’s what they all say.”
Eric put the bear on the floor and took a step forward, taking hold of her hands.
“In my case it’s true, things always go the same way. I start out with the best intentions, convinced that this time I can carry on with a relationship and instead I find I have to resign myself to the facts.” At the sight of her confused expression, Eric took a deep breath. “See, I… I have a serious problem. In spite of all the beautiful girls I meet, and who incredibly seem to want to take an interest in me, I just can’t seem to fall in love with any of them.”
“Why not?”
“Because my heart is already taken.”
He was able to sense the exact moment Stephanie understood. He’d had a lot of practice, because he’d given this speech many times. But it was also true that women seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to dangerous rivals, and Stephanie was no exception. She, like his exes, immediately understood the truth, long before he had even confessed.
Steffy untangled her hands from his. “I should have realized earlier,” she snapped bitterly. Then she looked at him, her green eyes filled with rage. “So what have I been for you? Just someone to pass the time with? Someone you dated while you were waiting?”
“No, nothing like that. You’re a beautiful woman and I really wanted to spend time with you. My situation is hopeless, but sometimes I try to do something about it. I was hoping that you… that we…”
“Does she know?” Stephanie asked, disappointment etched on every inch of her face.
Eric shook his head. “No. She’s never realized. I’ve always been very careful not to let her guess my true feelings.”
“Well, I think she does know and that she’s taking advantage of the situation,” she huffed, running a hand over her face. “She’s the kind of woman who wants to have everyone at her beck and call and she just strings men like you along. The saddest thing is that you let her… I thought you were smarter than that.”
Eric stiffened, split between his wounded pride, his doubts and that strong instinct of his to defend Zoe. But there was no point him trying to explain the situation to the girl he was dumping.
Stephanie furtively wiped away a tear and tried to compose herself. “It doesn’t matter. Anyway, if you don’t mind, I have to get ready for Nicole’s bridal shower.”
“Forgive me if you can. I really didn’t mean to hurt you,” Eric said, looking genuinely contrite. “Zoe will probably never know about any of this, and even if she did it wouldn’t change anything. I could have stayed with you forever, enjoying your sweetness and your happiness, but I don’t like leading people on. I’ve been doing it to myself for years, and it’s not a nice feeling. I hope you can tell that I’m speaking from the heart.”
“Well maybe you should have come out with it a bit sooner,” said Stephanie. She stared at him in silence, presumably waiting for him to go, and Eric had no choice but to turn around and leave.
Once on the stairs, he took a deep breath, feeling both relieved and sad at the same time. Steffy Parker was a sweet girl and by accepting the situation without getting too upset with him she had behaved like a grown-up. She had certainly earned all his respect, if not his love. Surely she would find someone better who would really appreciate her.
But as he started walking away down the street, a window opened…
“And give this to your friend, asshole!”
At the sound of Stephanie’s angry voice he turned around and at that precise moment an object hit him directly on his chest making him yell in shock, before ending up on the ground among the feet of the curious passers-by who gave him amused or dirty looks.
Ok, perhaps she hadn’t taken so well after all… He picked up the dancing bear from the ground and left quickly, feeling as embarrassed as hell. Only when he was a long way away from Little Italy did he allow himself to think about what he was going to do.
Now he had no more excuses. There was nothing preventing him from resolving this issue with Zoe. As he had said to Stephanie, maybe confessing his feelings wouldn’t change anything, but he was no longer able to endure this situation without trying to do something to sort it out.
He felt his brain racing through each of Zoe’s hypothetical reactions, from the most romantic to the worst, and forced himself to stop letting his imagination get the better of him.
He must act, and act now. Thinking too much about it would only make him lose the little courage he had.