Chapter Fifteen

Cross

What the fuck was I thinking making a statement like that? I wasn’t thinking. Couldn’t possibly be thinking to have said some shit like that, because Moon was a mom and I had to remember that. There was a reason I hadn’t messed around with single moms because they deserved better than a man like me. Especially these days. I let Lauren down and I wouldn’t put myself in that position again.

“You okay, big guy?” Moon looked at me with a worried grin that I found far too appealing.

“Yeah, just wondering when I last had to set a table.” Lauren used to set the table because she loved to make shit beautiful but that was years ago and the Reckless Bastards weren’t the table setting type. Unless a woman was involved.

“Well I figured I could use you since I’m cooking. Beau gets to see a big strapping man setting the table.”

I wiggled my eyebrows at her. “You think I’m big and strapping?”

When Moon laughed she did it with her whole body, bent over with her shoulders shaking and her hair falling everywhere. “I think we both know that I do. How have you been sleeping?”

Nothing got by this woman and I needed to remember that. “A few hours here and there.”

“And the breathing exercises?”

My lips quirked up. “You know I’ve been working on it but, you see, I have this problem. Whenever I breathe in real deep the only thing I can smell is you.”

She shivered. Even with most of the kitchen between us, I saw it. “As flattering as that is, if you don’t get enough sleep you won’t be able to do much about it, will you?”

“Right to the point, huh?”

“Mom says there’s no time to waste!” Beau went into the kitchen and pulled the silverware from a drawer and came up to me. “I’ll go behind you.”

I put a napkin down and then a plate and the kid came up behind me and set a knife and fork on each napkin. It was a little two-person assembly line and after one quick spin around the table, we were done. “Thanks,” I said.

“Welcome. Want to see my room?” The kid definitely didn’t waste time and he wasn’t shy about asking for what he wanted.

“As long as your mom doesn’t need any more help.” I didn’t want to be just another mouth for her to feed.

“I’m good. You guys go have fun and Beau?”

“Yes, Mom.” He sounded like an annoyed teenager.

“Let Cross get a few words in too, okay?”

“Okay, Mom!” He rolled his eyes and signaled me to follow him. “You can talk first. Did you always ride a motorcycle? Is that your only motorcycle? Do you drive it in the cold, too?”

This kid was something else for eight years old. Talkative and kind and smart. As hard as it was to sit with him that day at the hospital, just a few weeks ago, it was now easy. Relaxing, even. “Not until I was twenty but I always wanted one. I do have a car and yes, I ride my bike in the cold.”

“Can I ride it?” He pushed open his door and I stared into the ultimate boy’s room. His bed showed his love of science and space, with a big swath of stars on it. But his walls were an eight-year-old’s fascination with sports, the walls plastered with baseball, football and hockey posters.

“I think we both know that’s up to your mom.” And I had a feeling she wouldn’t want her son on the back of motorcycle. And I didn’t blame her. “So what do you like to play with?”

Beau showed off his shelf of Legos, then talked and talked, which explained why Moon had warned the kid to let me get a few words in. He never ran out of breath. But I liked listening to him talk about his love of hockey—even though his asthma didn’t allow him to play sports—his fascination with going to space and finding new planets. His love of all things with wheels.

“Do you like sci-fi? Mom’s letting me watch Star Trek on Netflix.”

“Which one?” He shrugged and looked up at me with those big, all-seeing eyes.

“Do you have a family, Mr. Cross?”

“No Beau, I don’t. I had a wife but she got sick and died.” I hated even thinking about it and I couldn’t believe I just told that shit to a kid. This was why I wasn’t fit to be around kids.

His eyes went dark and I couldn’t read them, but then he said, “That sucks,” and it was like he could read my heart.

Damn. This kid had the soul of an old man. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Now tell me about that big stacks of books over there.”

He smiled at me and I knew it was the right question. Besides, being around Beau and Moon, especially now with all this shit swirling around inside of me and this fucking town, it made me feel a little less broken and scarred. A bit more normal.

For now, it was enough.