“Eli, you can’t spend your life grieving. Find someone new. Move on.” Her imploring gaze haunts me. Her eyes, that used to shine with life, with love, are now a faded gray. Her hand is cold, ice to my warm touch.

“I love you. You’ll always be in my heart. Why would I give it to someone else?” It’s the same conversation we have over and over again. We run in circles. We’ve been doing it for six months of her being in here. She forgets so easily these days. Sometimes, she’ll look at me and I know she doesn’t even recognize me.

As we turn the corner, I notice her again. A young girl. She can’t be more than seventeen with golden skin, and her big brown eyes seem empty. Almost as if she’s lost all will to live. It’s sad to see someone so young already so haunted by life.

“Look at her Eli,” my sweet wife whispers, her throat closing up with emotion as she points out the girl I’ve been blatantly staring at. “Isn’t she just beautiful?” Her voice is almost faraway but I nod to appease her. I don’t want to let her know I can see what she’s doing. I’m way too old for starting over, too broken to find someone for love, but perhaps I can fix her. Make her feel again. Light up her dull brown eyes.

“She’s lovely,” I respond to my wife.

“Why don’t you talk to her? You’re so good with people.”

I don’t reply. It hurts that she’s palming me off on someone else and she’s not even dead yet. The thought grips my chest painfully. Agony slices through me, and I find it difficult to breathe.

“Don’t be silly. She’s just a girl.” And even though I want to go to the girl, to talk to her, to hear what she sounds like, I don’t. Raquel knows my need. She’s been through it all. Seen me when the craving took over. The hunger. The lust. And even now, as her life drains from her body, she’s still my submissive. My toy. Doing what any good slave would do, making sure that once she’s no longer here, that I’ll move on without regret.

I sit beside my wife under the hot sun and wonder where my life is about to lead when she takes her last breath. I don’t know. Acceptance is not in my blood, not when I have to come to terms with losing the one woman who broke me as much as I broke her. And in those pieces, we found completeness.

---

The door to my office opens, dragging me from the memory. When I glance at the little woman who’s just walked in, I find myself wanting to lose my shit, but I sit back and wait.

“Daddy,” she utters in that syrupy sweet tone, but I shrug it off. When I shove the photo over the desk to her, she blanches, all that makeup couldn’t cover up her guilt. “I-I…” Her wide eyes flit between me and the photo she sent Oliver.

“What the fuck did you think would happen if you acted like a slut?” Growling, I slam my fist on the desk, sending a loud echo through the room.

“I didn't mean—”

“Like fuck you didn’t mean to. You spread your fucking legs for that asshole? Was I not good enough anymore?” The rage in my tone is palpable. This little whore thinks she can use me. Thought I wouldn't find out she's fucking my partner, calling him Daddy too.

“Daddy, please?”

Her pleading only serves to piss me off further. “You've lost the privilege of calling me that. Pack your shit and get out.”

Big doe eyes, glistening with tears, peek at me under dark lashes. She knows better than to argue. Rising from the chair, she heads to the door. It's almost time to go home so she can fuck right off and never come back.

As soon as the door clicks closed, I sit back and realize I've just lost a toy I was enjoying. Her love of rope was intoxicatingly sexy. When I choked her long, slender neck, her cunt would squeeze my dick so hard I would come instantly.

Sins are evil. They taunt us, bringing us to the point of madness, leaving only shells behind. An empty carcass of the person they devoured. Mine? Lust. Sinful, vengeful, and driven by desire. Even though I play with many toys at a time, I don’t consider it cheating; it’s merely filling that void left by the one woman who I was meant to spend forever with.

“Eli,” the rumble of my partner, and best friend of thirty-odd years drags my attention away from sending my toy away. The one who worked for me, my fucking assistant who I could order to suck my dick at any point I needed it. “Did you just fire Brie?”

“Yeah.”

“Any reason why?” he questions, knowing full well why I did it.

Lifting my gaze, I pin him with an incredulous stare. “Do you really want me to get into this with you right now?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You were fucking her behind my back and you're asking why I'm firing her? Look in the mirror, smart ass. You could have afforded me with asking permission.”

He looks at me guiltily, but immediately shakes it off as only my best friend would. We’ve known each other far too long to let a piece of ass get in the way. Oliver is someone I respect, admire, and ultimately, he’s like a brother to me. He is however, very different than me. A sadist who enjoys doling out punishments and pain. He also has a penchant for both sexes. Males and females fall over themselves to kneel for him.

“Her cunt was hot and tight. What can I say?” he says, shrugging and stepping further into my office.

“I know it was, that’s why I kept her in the office,” I confess easily, earning me a chuckle.

“Look, I didn't know you had feelings for her,” he retorts with an arched questioning eyebrow.

I don’t do feelings. I play. I use. I taunt and tease. There’s nothing outside of that world. I’d given up on love when I lost my wife. There was only one girl who ever gave me a run for my money on that, and I walked away from her. When I left her in that room, I told myself she didn’t want me and I forced myself to believe it. In my mind, I was convinced she used me as much as I did her. It was easy to push people away. For me to spend my time alone, detached.

Pushing off the chair, I head to the bourbon cabinet. I call it that because it’s the only alcohol I keep in my office. My father once told me businessmen conduct better meetings over a shot of whiskey. The crystal tumblers I set down on the counter glisten in the dimly lit office. It’s past working hours, and as the sun settles on the horizon, I wonder if it would be a good idea to visit Seven Sins tonight. I pour two shots of the Michter’s Celebration Sour Mash I bought a month ago. It’s one of my favorites, and I savor each and every drop. When I hand one to Oliver, he glances at the bottle and nods thanks.

“Did you want to head down to Seven Sins with me?” I question, before taking a long sip of the thick, decadent liquid. It burns its way down my gullet like a silky poison.

“Do you want to share a tight little slut? Or are you wanting one for yourself?” he counters before downing the drink in one easy gulp, and pouring himself a second shot.

“Let's find one to share. I want an innocent. One who's not in the pool. Someone we can corrupt and defile.” My mouth curls into a dark and sinful smile; that’s what I heard one of my toys at the club once tell her friend about my lips.

He nods, an evil smirk on his face, and I know my best friend will be up for a fun night. “Meet you at eight,” he grunts, downing the three fingers of whiskey easily without even a wince. Pushing off the chair, he leaves me in my office to let my mind roam over what we’re going to do tonight.

It’s no secret in the club that we’re up for sharing, hell, we’re notorious for it. What’s got me even more excited is knowing I’ll see her tonight. The pretty brunette with those soulful eyes. Deep and endless pools of brown that simmer with desire. I am reminded of the girl I left long ago. I should have taken her with me. But in my grief, I walked away and now I regret it.

I may not be able to go back in time, but deep down all I can do is hope she’s okay. That she found her way in life. Sighing, I know I need to focus on the present and leave the past behind me. The brunette, Giana, is on my mind as I leave my office. I wonder if she’ll want to be owned and used.

“Hello, Eli.” Her voice is sultry and sensual as usual. My sweet intoxicating beauty from the coffee shop smiles at me with those pretty brown eyes that seem to beg me to take her. She just turned twenty-three. I overheard her telling her friend about the party she had.

Her appearance here in the club is vastly different to her little coffee shop outfit. “Hello, Giana.” My tone is low as I lean in and pin her with a gaze. She blushes furiously. “I’ll have a bourbon, make it a double. It’s been a long day.” She nods as I settle on the stool at the bar. The low beat of the music thrums through my chest and the haunting voice of Marilyn Manson comes through the speakers. Sweet Dreams are definitely what I’d like to give little Giana. A deep bass vibrates through the club as the curtain opens, and I’m met with a blonde toy bound to a pole on the stage.

As her Dom walks onto the platform, Giana sets the glass down on the bar beside my arm. “Here you go, I’ve poured you a triple since you said it’s been a long day.” Turning to regard the woman who’s clearly gripped my attention, I offer her a thankful smirk. The crystal tumbler glints under the low lights, but my gaze is locked on the beauty before me. I wonder how she'd look writhing between Oliver and I while calling me Daddy and him Sir. As much as I love sharing a beautiful girl with my best friend, something about this toy makes me territorial.

“Do you enjoy breaking the rules, Giana?” I question, before taking a long sip of the amber liquid. I normally drink a dry gin and tonic when I’m in here, but tonight I felt like something heavier. Something darker.

“Sometimes,” she murmurs. “It depends on the person I’m breaking them with.” If that wasn’t an invitation, I don’t know what is.

“How about you join me tonight? I’ll show you how to shatter all the fucking rules,” I offer, draining the glass. Before Giana can answer, the blonde on stage cries out in pleasured pain. We both drag our attention to see the Dom whipping her beautiful cunt.

“Do you do things like that?” she questions in a soft, raspy tone.

My head snaps back to the brown-eyed goddess I’d love to whip until she’s coming all over me.

“It depends on the person I’m with,” I quip, throwing her words back at her with a deep growl.

“And if that person happens to be me?” she asks. Her head tips to the side with a quizzical expression on her face. I’m about to answer when Oliver strolls up beside me, settling himself in the vacant seat.

“Bourbon, pretty girl,” he orders gruffly. Turning to my best friend, I notice he’s a bit worse for wear.

“What’s crawled up your ass?” I question, before turning back to watch Giana pour two triples into the tumblers she set aside.

“You remember that asshole, Fredericks?” he growls. I nod. “Well, he just called. He wants me in court tomorrow at seven.”

I knew that would happen. Chuckling, I lift the glass as soon as my new toy sets them down. With a wink, I offer her a nod, hoping she’ll understand we need space. I’m pleasantly surprised when she does pick up on my silent signal and heads over to the far end of the bar to serve other customers.

“I’m more than happy to take a rain check, man,” I inform him, knowing that he takes court seriously. He never stays out late if he’s got an early morning appearance. Neither do I for that matter.

I knew I had to move on from mediocre jobs and that’s when I started working with Oliver. He agreed to hire me as long as we didn’t let our friendship get in the way. At work we were colleagues, after hours we were best friends, brothers. I knew I wanted to work for the infamous Mr. Michaelson. Over the years, I’d been with every other company. I looked up to him. Watching his career progress, the man is as ruthless in a courtroom as he is in the dungeon. When I first saw him walk into Seven Sins, I had been working with him for a year. It brought us closer together, knowing that we both had a penchant for the darker side of life.

The first time we shared a girl was when he took Nathan Ashcroft and me on as trainees. He taught me about delivering pain, just the right amount to draw pleasure from the female form. He knew Raquel. He introduced us. Always intuitive with what is going on around him. And since then, he’s been a brother, a mentor, and a business associate. He announced me as partner to his firm after my fourth year. Being a few years older than me, you’d think the man would make sure I knew it, but he treats me as an equal, and that’s earned him my respect.

“I better go, or I’ll be here all night tempted by the beautiful women and men. See you in the office tomorrow. And—” He leans in, and his gaze casts over my shoulder to Giana. “Don’t be late.”

I don’t know how he does it. How he knew that she’s going to be beneath me tonight, but once again, he floors me.

“I won’t,” I respond quietly. Sipping on my drink, I don’t meet his gaze that seems to be burning a hole through me. Once I set the glass down, I finally meet his gray eyes. He merely smiles as he saunters out of the club, leaving me to plan my night with the pretty bartender.