London, England 1926
I STROLLED ALONG THE GARDEN path, imagining Waleron’s cedar scent on the tip of my tongue and his hands caressing my body, the lyrical touch causing my insides to burn with desire. He could be gentle and patient and then other times rough and fierce. But no matter which way he made love to me, he demanded my submission and I gave it to him.
His life breathed into mine and mine his. Interchangeable. Our hearts and minds merged as one.
Our connection couldn’t be explained with words, but everything was brighter and clearer, my blood flowed easier, the air fresher when we were together.
Our bond was impenetrable. It was beauty and strength. Raw and simple. Gritty and fierce.
As Scars, our emotions were stronger than humans’, but this was more. It was consuming and powerful.
Even when we were apart, I felt him within me.
And unfortunately we were apart a lot. Waleron was a Taldeburu for a reason. He was vigilant about his oath to the Goddess to protect humans from our enemies. He’d been given the ability to Trace to locations he’d been in the past, which allowed him to oversee all the Taldes.
A Talde consisted of a group of Scars and we were responsible for fighting against the enemies in our territories. Our abilities varied, and I lived with Keir, a Sounder; Jedrik, a Visionary; Hack, a Taster; and Zurina, our Healer. I was the Tracker.
Our enemies constantly grew, the newest ones being the CWOs, the Center World Others. They were organisms from the center of the Earth that resurfaced in the form of insects. Highly intelligent, they were able to possess a deceased human body and walk among us, unknown to humans.
Worse, they were immune to the four elemental Wraiths’ powers to help us detect them. The Wraiths—Fire, Earth, Water, and Air—were our allies and lived on another realm. They had descended, like us, from the Goddess Azzurra, who’d offered the witches salvation from the Spanish Inquisition’s burning of the witches in Zugarramurdi, Spain, in 1610.
The CWOs were difficult to detect, as we didn’t yet know all the types of insects they’d descended from and each species had unique abilities.
The Lilacs were one of the most dangerous. They had webs they could shoot from their fingertips trapping their victims. Lilacs often cocooned their prey and later used them as sustenance. Always beautiful females, their skin emitted a powdery substance that smelled of lilacs, which fortunately helped us locate them. But they were hard to get near with their steel-like webs.
Waleron was currently hunting a Lilac that was proving to be elusive. But he promised whether he found her or not, he’d return today and we’d go away for few weeks. No fighting enemies. No other Scars. Just us.
It had been months since we’d been together and I couldn’t wait to feel his lips on mine, his cock inside me, hear his husky voice as he held me in his arms.
I put my hand in my pocket and touched the crinkled paper. He’d given it to me months ago. Words he’d written before he left. I carried the note everywhere and when I went to bed at night, I read his words before placing the note between the pages of my book on the nightstand.
Waleron didn’t believe in being maited. Maiting was like a human marriage, except once you maited you never separated unless by death, and even then the bond was difficult to break.
His word was his oath and he’d sworn to love me in this life and the next, forever in our immortal lives. He said being maited brought law into something we had that was far more than that.
I smiled when I saw Jedrik come out the front door of the house. He headed toward me, but his steps were slow and his head was bowed.
“Delara,” Jedrik said as he approached.
My heart skipped a beat when I noticed how pale he was. “Are you feeling okay?”
He shifted his feet while looking down at them. Jedrik was overconfident and never avoided eye contact.
“Delara.” He inhaled a ragged breath, glanced over his shoulder at the house and then back at me.
I frowned. “What is it? Is everyone okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah. They’re fine. But, Delara….” Jedrik put his hands on my upper arms. “We… uh… we need to talk.”
Jedrik never stuttered. And he was rarely serious unless we were fighting our enemies, and even then he often had a playful grin.
There was no grin. No playfulness. His blue eyes were glassy and filled with tears that had yet to spill over.
Tears?
My heart pounded so hard it echoed in my ears. I opened up my scenting ability and smelled the mixture of fear and anguish emanating from Jedrik’s pores.
I shook my head as terror gripped me for the words he’d not yet said.
“It’s Waleron.” The deep valley between his brows creased. “I don’t know how to tell you…. Christ.”
My breath stopped.
Everything inside me stilled.
No.
Waleron was fine. I’d know if something was wrong. I’d feel it.
He was a Taldeburu. Nothing could hurt him.
“The Lilac… Jesus, Delara.”
My heart skipped a beat and I yanked from his grip, staggering backward. “No. Please. Don’t say it.” If he didn’t say the words, it wouldn’t be true.
He dragged a hand down his face. “Christ. Delara. Waleron is dead. The Lilac, Jasmine, killed him.” No, he’s lying. He’s lying to me. “Zurina found his blood near the docks. She placed her hands in the blood and saw the images. She saw him being killed, and Jasmine… the Lilac sucked the air from his lungs, Delara. Her images went dark.” His words were like rough pebbles, as if something were lodged in his throat. “Waleron’s gone. I’m so sorry. God, I know you loved him. We all did.”
His words continued, but I no longer heard them as I stood frozen, staring at nothing because nothing was real or logical. The sun was a blur, the heat on my skin cold, the man in front of me a stranger.
It was impossible. Waleron was our Taldeburu, one of the strongest. His Ink, the snake tattoo on his neck and shoulder, was rumored to be the most powerful of all Inks. A Lilac could never defeat him.
They were wrong. They had to be wrong.
“No! It’s a mistake. Zurina made a mistake. Waleron is alive. We need to find him.” I ran for the house, but my legs shook so badly that I stumbled several times, finally falling to my hands and knees.
“Delara.” Jedrik snagged my arm and hauled me to a stop as I scrambled to my feet. “Delara. He’s not coming back.”
I glared at him. “No. You’re lying. It’s a lie. I’d know.” God, I’d know. I’d feel it if he died.
A tear trailed down Jedrik’s cheek. A tear. I’d known him since we were kids and he’d never cried. Ever. Even when that horse kicked him in the chest and broke all his ribs. Or when he fell off that cliff and shattered his leg when he was eight.
It was like a punch to the stomach.
“Nooooo,” I screamed as the reality of his words slammed into me.
My legs gave out and I collapsed to the gravel before Jedrik could catch me. “No. Please. No.” The words tore through my throat between choked sobs. “Please, I’m begging you. Not him. Not Waleron, please. Please.”
The sobs engulfed me as I dug at the gravel, pawing like a wild animal trapped in a cage, the stones tearing at my skin, imbedding beneath my fingernails.
“Delara. I’m sorry. Christ, I don’t know what to do here.” His arms came around me and tried to lift me off the ground.
“No!” I shouted. “No.” I flailed against his embrace, but he refused to let me go.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as my mind spun in a tornado of devastation. I couldn’t grasp the truth; it spun out of my reach only to slam into me again.
“No. I’d know. I’d… I’d feel it.” I punched my fists into Jedrik’s chest. “He’d never leave me, Jedrik. He promised.”
“It’s a promise he shouldn’t have made.” Jedrik trapped me in his arms, rocking back and forth, murmuring soft, soothing words. “Shhh. We’ll get through this. I’ll look after you. We all will.”
“I need him. Oh God, please… I. Need. Him.” The agony clutching at my soul was unbearable. I glanced up at him, but my tears blurred his face. “I can’t… I can’t live without him, Jedrik. Please, please bring him back. Bring him back. A Healer—”
He caressed my hair, his hands trailing down my back. “He’s not coming back, sweetie.”
His words ripped through my heart, cutting out every ounce of sanity, reality, and logic.
Waleron would never leave me. He’d promised. He’d promised we’d be together for eternity.
A roar erupted from my lungs and Jedrik grabbed the back of my head and pushed it into his chest, muffling my screams.
Escape. Find him. Help him. Be with him.
“Please, Delara,” Jedrik whispered in a haggard tone. “Please stop.”
His tears dripped onto the top of my head, his sorrow merged with my own. But the pain was trapped inside me and I couldn’t stop the screams as they tore from my constricted throat. Over and over again, until finally there was nothing left, my voice ragged and broken, throat raw.
“He promised,” I whispered. “I can’t let him…. I love him. Please, I love him. I can’t lose him. Bring him back. I’m begging you.”
“I can’t, sass. Jesus, I’d do anything for you, but I can’t do this.”
My breath came in short, jagged gasps; I desperately tried to control the darkness that invaded—but there was no return from the despair.
Living without Waleron was like asking me to live without my heart. To breathe without air. To feel without life.
Another choking sob wrenched from my throat and I buried my head in my hands.
“I will always be here. The Talde, too, we’re here for you. We all loved him.” Jedrik cradled me in his arms.
“I… I need him to survive. To breathe.” He was my other half. How could I survive without him? How could I open my eyes in the morning to know he wasn’t ever going to hold me in his arms again? I’d never feel his lips. His touch. His whispered words, or see his blue eyes filled with love whenever he looked at me.
Escape. I had to escape.
I jerked from Jedrik’s arms, scrambled to my feet, uncertain what escape meant except maybe death as my sanctuary.
Jedrik hooked his arms around me before I could run. I flailed against his hold, kicking and screaming with a hoarse, crackled cry. “Stop. Jesus, Delara, stop.” His grip tightened and I fought harder, needing to be free from the pain.
Keir’s deep voice penetrated through my frantic need to escape. “Take her upstairs. Have Zurina put her in Deep Sleep.” I stilled for a second as Keir stopped in front of us. He reached out to touch my ravaged, tear-streaked face, but pulled back, arm dropping to his side. “We’re family, Delara. Your loss is ours. We heal together.”
“Keir. Please, let me see him. I want to see him,” I pleaded.
He sighed, lips pursed as he looked at Jedrik. “Their bond was too strong. A Taldeburu’s bond.”
“Yeah,” Jedrik said.
“I need to see him. Let me see him. He’s not dead. I’d know it! I’d know.” I was rambling, words rushing out of me with panic as Jedrik picked me up in his arms and threw me over his shoulder.
“No. Take me to where it happened. Please.” I pounded my fists into his back, but he ignored my pleas as he strode into the house and up the stairs.
My words were lost to the sobs and the fight slowly died as I faded into an abyss of anguish.
Reality slipped away and left behind misery that jigsawed its way through my mind, ripping it apart and putting it back together again and again.
Jedrik lowered me onto a soft, warm surface.
“No,” I murmured.
I fought the comfort.
I fought the hands holding me down.
I fought the heaviness in my mind as Zurina’s voice chanted the words of DS, Deep Sleep.
I fought the life I had to live without him.
Until nothingness claimed me.