Angel fled out the back door and glanced at the cliffs. She knew approximately where Creed’s home lay. She’d spied on him as a teen until she’d spotted where his lair had to be located. It was impossible to reach unless he flew someone there. She’d never been invited. At one time, she’d wanted him to take her to his home more than anything.
She made a beeline for the river, where memories lingered of the days Creed had spent time with her when she’d been a teen.
She reached the rock that stretched out over the rushing water and climbed out to the edge. She took a seat and allowed her legs to dangle. A memory surfaced of Creed sitting next to her, holding a fishing pole. They’d talked for hours. She even knew a bit about his upbringing. His parents had four children, so he’d been sent away from home. It was a GarLycan thing, something to do with too many males living in close proximity. They were territorial and tended to fight. His clan leader had assigned him to be their guardian. It was far from their territory and gaining access to Lycan women as potential mates for their clan was a priority. GarLycans birthed more males than females on average, which left them always in need of women.
Most of the pack didn’t think Creed had a heart. She knew that was false. He’d saved a lonely, terrified little girl once and flown her to a wonderful life. He could have just ignored what he’d seen but he hadn’t. It proved he possessed compassion and he’d cared about her. He’d even given her a new name.
Years had passed when they hadn’t spoken after that night he’d given her to new parents, but he’d become her companion when Lycans her age were out hunting and learning their senses in wolf form during their teens. She’d been left to her own devices. He’d probably felt sorry for her, but she liked to think they’d been soul mates, that he’d been lonely too.
Angel had made the mistake of telling him she was in love with him when she’d hit the age of consent. She had hoped he’d admit he felt the same. She’d dreamed of Creed flying her up to his lair and mating her. Her gaze lifted and she zeroed in on the location of his home. The opening wasn’t visible but she thought she had identified the boulder it hid behind. All her hopes and dreams had rested up there with him.
He’d crushed them by telling her that loving him was a mistake.
He’d given no real explanation or apologies. He’d just flown away and avoided her. She’d spent a week in bed, crying her eyes out, and then had tried to get his attention to talk to him again. He either ignored her or just refused to come down. Either way, as the months passed, she’d decided to leave her home and start a life somewhere else. She refused to continue to stare at those cliffs, seeking any sign of him. It was painful to always catch herself looking up at night, into the sky, hoping to see him flying above her.
Loving Creed had changed her life in so many ways. He’d given her a home and then taken it away. She’d wanted to return to live in the village after a few years but the career she’d started only allowed her those two-week visits. Every time she came to visit her parents, it brought back the pain. No man could ever compare to Creed. She’d made some horrific mistakes trying to get over him.
Tomas’s face flashed in her mind as she peered into the river. He was a Lycan she’d dated. He’d been good looking and was seeking a mate. She’d given him her virginity since Creed hadn’t wanted it. Their relationship had seemed happy for the weeks it had lasted, and she’d wanted to love him. She had even talked herself into believing she did, out of desperation—until she’d brought up the future and kids. Tomas had informed her she was good enough to date and sleep with, but he wanted a Lycan mate when he settled down. She’d ended the relationship and he’d let her go without a protest.
She’d dated Mitch when she’d first moved to Washington. He was human and a fun-loving guy. They had grown serious and had even talked about marriage. Again, she’d wanted to love him. She’d tried. It had almost been a relief when she’d come home early after a small fire had shut down the building she worked in, and she’d caught him in bed with some woman. She’d packed her stuff and left. He’d tried to talk her into coming back but she was done. She hadn’t even cried.
Then there had been Adam two years before. He’d been her neighbor. They’d started out as friends, then became more. It had come as a shock when she’d realized he was doing drugs. The signs had been there but she’d been naive.
The confrontation was bad when she’d told him to stop or they were over. He’d tried to get physical. That had been a mistake. She’d been raised with Lycans. Her parents and pack mates had taught her how to fight. He might have thrown the first punch but he’s the one who had been taken away in an ambulance. She’d moved to a new apartment.
Her experiences with previous relationships sucked because she was in love with Creed. None of them had ever stood a chance of making her forget him. But he was the very definition of emotionally unavailable.
She lifted her gaze to the cliffs. Creed was the toughest man she’d ever met. Was it possible this ravage thing could take his life? She hugged her chest and fought tears. She’d always wanted him, but would one night ever be enough? And how bad would it be for her to live with afterward, knowing what she was missing?
She had no answers.
Movement from the corner of her eye drew her attention and she turned her head. Four large wolves crept out of the woods. She smiled.
“Hi, guys. I’m home.”
One of them rushed forward and jumped up on the rock. She reached out and scratched Amond’s coat on the back of his neck. He flashed teeth at her and bumped his head against her shoulder. She laughed.
“It’s good to see you too. No clothes nearby?”
He shook his head and licked her cheek. She pushed him away. “Gross. I don’t know where that tongue has been.” She leaned back, staring at the smaller version of him. “Tell your brother how wrong that is.”
Tonni growled. Her tail wagged and she turned toward the village. Amond backed away but he lightly gripped Angel’s wrist with his teeth and tugged.
“Okay. I’ll see you guys in about ten minutes. Go put some clothes on. My mom made chocolate chip cookies. We’ll meet up there.”
Amond released her wrist and lifted a paw, batting at her hair.
She glanced at it. “What do you think? You didn’t recognize me from behind, did you? The wind is blowing in the wrong direction for you to pick up my scent. Did you think I was an intruder?”
He whined.
She gripped his muzzle and pushed. “What were you going to do? Bite me? I know what a sweetheart you are. You probably would have let me rub your belly if I were a stranger, like some playful puppy. Go on. I’ll see you in ten.”
They ran off and she sighed. They’d want to know why her hair wasn’t black anymore, and why she’d returned when they weren’t expecting her. She needed to think up something to tell her friends. Her gaze lifted to the cliffs and she tensed.
A dark figure loomed in the sky—and it soared right at her.
Creed’s wings were tucked and he plummeted fast. He almost hit the river before he braked the decent by opening his wings. She felt fear for a second at the sheer speed with which he could move, and the fact that it seemed as if he were going to slam right into her. She actually leaned back, expecting the impact, but his wings opened wide. One powerful flap had him jerking to a halt. He landed on the rock a foot away.
“Who the hell are— Angel!”
He was still as gorgeous as ever. His jet-black hair fell to his shoulders. It was silky to the touch and baby soft. She remembered that. His eyes were a stormy dark blue. It was the swirls of silver that gave them that appearance, like lightning flashes in a midnight sky. Long, thick black eyelashes accented them. She’d always envied him those. His full lips pressed together, giving him a harsh expression. It didn’t detract from his looks at all. Nobody did brooding better than Creed. He was sexy regardless.
She glanced at his body as he tucked his wings behind his broad shoulders. It was a shame, because he had lovely black ones. They weren’t feathers, but some type of soft texture that came from his Gargoyle blood. He’d allowed her to touch them a few times and it had reminded Angel of velvet.
“Hello, Creed.” She finally got her voice to work, refusing to drool over his muscular arms revealed in the thin-strapped black tank top he wore. She knew he liked them because they didn’t rip when he sprouted his wings.
“Your hair. I’d forgotten it used to be blonde.”
“It’s still blonde. I just didn’t hide it with dye this time.”
He looked angry when his eyes narrowed. “What are you doing home? This isn’t your time.”
She stood. Her legs felt shaky and she hated how short she was compared to him when they were close together, but he was a freaky height of six feet five. Any woman would feel that way unless she was over six feet tall. She brushed off the ass of her jeans.
“My time? Am I not allowed to come home to visit my parents when I feel like it?” She knew she was trying to pick a fight but old heartache wasn’t easy to get past.
“Of course.” He took a step back. “I saw you interact with the wolves and thought you were a lost hiker. They didn’t transform.”
“Amond is a little too old to flash his goods at me. I’m grateful for that. We’re not kids anymore. I’m sure he’s grown a bit since then. They might be comfortable with the naked thing but they know I’m not, since I don’t have a reason to strip in front of them.” She paused. “Is that how you deal with strangers? Swoop down at them like an angry demon and give them heart attacks?”
He scowled. “No. I capture them and go retrieve a VampLycan to wipe their minds of anything they’ve seen, before I send them on their way.”
“That’s good to know. You’re still keeping the pack safe. I thought you were only on duty at night.”
He glanced away. “I was awake.”
She glanced at her watch. “You’re up early.”
He looked back at her then. “Is everything okay with you?”
“It’s all great,” she lied. “Why do you ask? Is everything okay with you?”
“You only come in early summer.”
He ignored her question. She didn’t blame him. It wasn’t as if he’d confess the ravage was about to hit him. That would mean he might actually ask her to help him out. She studied his eyes, really looking at him.
There was a tiredness to them that hadn’t been there before. It concerned her, then irritated her. He’d shut her down when she’d admitted to caring about him. It was a mistake to show him she still did, and that wasn’t something she was willing to do. He’d probably just fly off.
“Well, I’m not some nosey hiker trespassing on pack land. I was just visiting my old fishing spot.”
“I remember. We spent a lot of time here.”
It stunned her that he’d mention that. “That was a long time ago.”
His gaze locked with hers. “Yes, it was.”
“I should go. My friends are meeting me at the house. They’ve had enough time to put on some clothes.”
She spun away, making it a few feet before he spoke.
“You look good, Angel.”
She halted. Her heart raced and faced him again. A wariness settled in. He was probably just being polite by giving her a compliment…but Creed wasn’t one to do that. He usually didn’t say anything unless there was a reason. She stepped closer and tilted her head, studying him.
“What?” His body tensed.
She walked up to him until they almost touched, really gazing into his eyes. They were bloodshot on closer inspection, and he actually looked a little pale. The guy always had a deep tan, even in winter. She reached out and placed her hand on his bare skin just above the material of his tank top. Alarm hit.
“You’re cold.”
He jerked away but couldn’t go far on the rock without falling into the river. “I’m a GarLycan.”
“You usually run hot unless you’re shifted.” She reached up and pressed her hand against his neck. “You’re cold to the touch, Creed.”
“I’m fine.”
She didn’t believe him. “You’re lying.”
He growled.
She took a step back, stunned. That was new. She didn’t even know he did that. Emotion flashed in his eyes for a split second before he masked it. That was also unlike him. Sure, he could laugh when amused and show anger, but that looked as if it were an unintentional slip.
Her mother’s words replayed through her mind. Was he already losing control? Were his hormones playing hell with him?
She reached up again and drew so close, she almost pressed against his body. She ran her fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes. He even tilted his head a little to allow it, almost encouraged it.
She stroked his hair and moved her hand, running it up the back of his neck. There was a large lump there at the base of his skull. He groaned when she brushed over it and actually wavered a little on his feet. Angel was mesmerized.
Creed gripped her hip with one of his hands. “Stop.”
She ran her fingers over the lump again, gently caressing. He actually leaned into her, pressing his chest against hers as his eyes closed once more. His mouth parted and he groaned deeper, a sexy sound. He even pushed the front of his jeans against her belly. The feel of his stiff cock surprised her. Creed was turned on.
“Look at me,” she whispered.
He opened his eyes to reveal the color of them had turned more silver. “Stop, Angel. Please.” He put a few inches between their bodies.
“Or what?” She didn’t want to let him go. Creed finally wanted her. It was a powerful, wonderful thing to have him at her mercy. She’d been at his before, and she didn’t want to walk away, the way he had. His head fell forward, and she would be able to kiss him if she just lifted up on her tiptoes. The desire to know the feel of his lips against her own tormented her.
A muscle in his jaw clenched and his fangs slid out. “Don’t play with fire.”
She placed her other hand on his side. “You already burned me, Creed.”
He appeared confused. “I don’t…”
“Don’t what? Understand? Want me?” She slid her hand over his stomach and lower, down to his hip. He shivered, his body quaking from the light touch. She dared to explore the front of his pants with her fingertips. “Is that a cell phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me? Let’s find out.”
He grabbed her wrist and jerked it away from the front of his pants. “Stop. You don’t know what you’re doing.”
She still had her other hand on the back of his neck. She caressed the bulge there again, letting her fingers play over it. Creed’s gaze dropped to her lips and he growled deep. His hold on her wrist and her hip tightened until it almost hurt. She did stop caressing him before he broke something on her without meaning to. She hadn’t been raised around non-humans without learning the dangers of their strength.
She made a decision. “I know exactly what I’m doing.”
“You don’t.”
She cupped the base of his neck so he couldn’t jerk away and rose up on her tiptoes. She didn’t go for his lips, but instead pressed her cheek against his and whispered in his ear. “I’m going to volunteer to get you through the ravage.”
He released her wrist and grabbed her other hip. He shoved her back a few inches and snarled. She had to lower to her feet but didn’t let go of him, so he couldn’t get too far away. Pure rage twisted his features and those fangs were close enough that she got a really good look at them.
“No.”
That hurt. “Why not? Because I’m human?”
“No.”
“You just said I look good. You’re as hard as a rock.” She looked down at the front of his jeans. The outline of his cock was clear and impressive. “Not a cell phone.” She glared up at him. “You’re not flying away this time. No hiding. So tell me. What is it about me that you detest so much?”
His coloring turned a little gray. “It’s not that. Is that what you think?”
“I threw myself at you and practically begged you to take me to your bed before I moved away. Am I ugly to you? Repulsive? Do you hate me because I’m human? What is it about me that makes you always reject me?”
“You deserve better. I can’t give you the emotions you need.”
She stared up at him. Was he trying to protect her? She’d never suspected that.
“You deserve more,” he rasped, drastically lowering his tone. “I could never make you happy. I’d rather not have you at all than watch you slowly die the way my mother did.”
“Your mother died? When?”
“Eleven years ago. She was a full-blooded Lycan.” He closed his eyes. “My father is a full-blooded Gargoyle. He couldn’t give her enough affection to sustain her. She slowly lost the will to live. That’s what women do when they have their hearts broken repeatedly by their mates. I take more after him.”
She had to lean forward to catch his words. “I’m so sorry.” She hurt for Creed. She knew he had a close connection to his mother. Her death must have happened around the same time that she’d thrown herself at him. It was all making sense…and it was devastating.
He turned his head away, closing his eyes. “Don’t volunteer, Angel. Not you. You’re more than just a vessel to be used by me for a night. I’d never forgive myself, and I don’t think I’m sane enough right now to pick someone else. I’m supposed to protect you, even if that means from myself. Let go of me. I need to get far away from you.”
She did the opposite instead, and went up on her tiptoes again. She threw her other arm around his neck and pushed against his chest until their bodies were flush together. “Listen to me, Creed.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her. She noticed the lack of warmth coming from his body even more, and it scared her.
“What?”
“It’s my choice, and I want to be there for you. I know it’s only a onetime thing. You want to avoid hurting me? Don’t make me lie awake tomorrow night, knowing you’re with someone else. You were there for me when I needed you the most. Let me be there for you.”
He lowered his head and bent his knees a little, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then come get me tomorrow night. Do you need me now? Let’s go.”
He held on to her a little tighter. “It’s going to hit full force tomorrow night.”
“What about tonight?”
“You wouldn’t survive two nights of me like this.”
“I’d be willing to risk it.”
He rubbed his face against her hair and throat. “Let go. I’ll meet you here at six tomorrow evening. There are things you need to do. I told the elders.”
“The ritual. I know. I’ll do it. Are you going to be okay? You can take me home with you now if you want.”
“Angel,” he growled.
“I’m right here.”
“Let go. Tomorrow.”
“I’ll buy a damn grenade launcher and blow you out of that cliff if you don’t come get me. Am I clear?”
He barked out a harsh laugh. “Yes.”
“I mean it.”
“I know you do.”
She eased her hold on him and the second she did, he jerked away and dove off the rocks. His wings spread out before he hit the water, and then he was shooting into the sky. He flew away up to his cliff as if the hounds of hell were after him. She watched until he was back inside his lair. That wasn’t like him either. He never returned there in broad daylight, when anyone could watch to see exactly where he landed.
She bit her lip, really worried. He’d hurt her in the past but she still loved him. She probably always would.
“I’m going to be there for you,” she murmured.