Leaving Ryker to his post-sex haze in their bed, Max made her way down the spiral staircase, Zombie hot on her heels. Her little friend had been quite miffed to find himself on the wrong side of the bedroom door for the past hour. Ryker absolutely insisted the dog never be allowed in their room when they were having sex. His stubborn persistence of the issue always made her giggle, but she was secretly glad. If Ryker only knew just how much intelligence and knowledge resided in that little doggy brain …
She heard the sounds of the early morning routine in the kitchen as the occupants of the house got ready for the day. But instead of following the noise as she would usually do, she moved in the opposite direction, slipping out the library door and out into the garden. She felt Beyden stir in her mind, checking in with her about her location. She sent a mental image of where she was planning to park her butt on the beach, well within spitting distance of the house. Beyden was satisfied enough with her safety, blowing her a mental kiss and leaving her to her thoughts and Zombie.
Max sighed, rubbing Zombie’s one floppy ear that still refused to stand up straight like its counterpart. “What do you think, buddy? Am I doing the right thing? As early as tomorrow, all this could be taken away from me,” she told him.
Zombie gave a small whine and licked the back of her hand, pressing his warmth against her shins where she now sat on the cool sand. The sun had well and truly crested now and was rising higher above the horizon, offering no answers as she debated with herself over her next actions. Emmanuel showing up the previous night had been unexpected and fraught with danger, not to mention a real party-pooper moment. But it had also been helpful in a way because all of her new allies had been able to witness the true scourge of their society. All their lost loved ones, all their pain and suffering, the time they had spent empty, hungry, and alone – it was all thanks to that man. The man with the parents who hadn’t been able to let go of their son and had mutated him into something so unnatural that even the elements shrank from him in fear.
Emmanuel’s appearance had also achieved something else; Doomsday.
She knew all her nightmares and all her visions had been preparing her for the final battle to come. But as the weeks went by, time spent recruiting wardens and paladins to her side, the big event seemed like a vague future notion – not reality. But no more. Reality was upon them and the soon she had promised her antithesis was now going to be tomorrow. She just wished she knew if she was heading down the correct path. It was so hard to tell. There were so many possibilities, so many combinations and potential outcomes. How was she supposed to know which one was the right path? She wished she could ask someone but who was there to ask? The others had assured her that the Great Mother was a real person or entity and even though she wasn’t really into that sort of thing, she had even tried praying.
Nada, nothing, zip. Nothing but silence.
Max sighed, “Well, Zom, I do know one thing; procrastinating is no longer an option and more time to prepare isn’t going to mean shit.” If she didn’t act the next day, Team Emmanuel were going to take their fight to the everyday humans. And that was not something she could allow.
She felt a presence behind her but she didn’t say anything and neither did he. Eventually, he must have taken her silence for a tacit invitation, seating himself next to her but not touching her. She allowed the silence to stretch out and was surprised by how comfortable the quiet was. But then, he had been hanging around for weeks now – always in the background or on the sidelines. Without her conscious thought, she had somehow come to accept his presence.
“I’m sorry you found out that way. All those weeks ago? It’s not what I wanted.” Mordecai finally spoke.
Despite her more neutral thoughts just moments ago, she couldn’t stop her sharp retort, “No.”
Mordecai frowned slightly, “No, what?”
“No. You’re not sorry I found out that way. You’re sorry I found out at all.” She stated. Max could see the way the warden’s jaw clenched tightly from the corner of her eye.
After a few tense moments, Mordecai finally unhinged his jaw, a loud sigh escaping as his shoulders slumped, “You’re correct. I am sorry you found out at all. If it weren’t for your paladin figuring it out then I would never have said anything.”
“Why?” The one word was whispered but she knew Mordecai heard her.
“I didn’t think I had a right to. I did mean something else I said back then; I’m no father, Max.”
Max thought back over the last few months and everything her paladins had found out about the man. She hadn’t wanted to believe he was on their side or that he had been working tirelessly behind the scenes for half a century to try and aid the chades. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to like him, it was that she was afraid to. But on the eve of battle, holding onto her fears and her resentment seemed like such a waste of energy. Taking a deep breath, she asked;
“Do you want to be?”
Mordecai looked startled, “I’m sorry, what?”
She kept looking straight ahead – her courage only went so far, “You said you were not a father. But if you could be, would you want that?”
Mordecai coughed and cleared his throat, making no move to look at her either, and for some reason, that made her smile. Perhaps they had more in common than she thought.
“I cannot think of anything in this world I want more.”
The words, spoken with strength, rang with truth and Max felt her body flush with warmth as she accepted for the very first time that the black-haired man sitting next to her on the beach was her father. And that meant … “Holy shit! I’m half Scottish!”
Her outburst caused Mordecai to collapse into a fit of spontaneous laughter and she couldn’t help chuckling along with him. She thought, as far as fathers went, hers was pretty dashing. Although, all the comments Diana and Cali made about how good looking he was and how they bet he was a wizard between the sheets, now made Max gag.
“So, you really didn’t know about me, huh?” Max asked, at length.
“I knew you’d been made – of course,” came Mordecai’s quiet admission. “But I had no idea where you were. Your mother – Dana – never returned to me, no matter how much I cursed, begged, bribed, or cried.”
“But you searched for me?” She pressed. Now that they had acknowledged each other, she felt desperate to know she had been wanted. She had always believed she had been dumped like a piece of unwanted trash. But then, what was she supposed to think? She had been a teenager with no memory and no name.
“I searched for you, Max. For years and years, I searched night and day for you. There was nothing. No proof you ever existed. But I knew you must, somewhere or in some time, you must exist. The look on Dana’s face that morning …” Mordecai’s hand shook as he covered his mouth. “We both knew what we’d done. But still – no proof.”
Mordecai turned to face her, his green eyes earnest, “No proof, until eleven months ago when a surly life paladin contacted his local warden council to declare that a lost warden had been found. But not just any warden, no, a female life warden. A combination so precious and rare that we only have two in society now. I can’t say for sure why the mention of you caught my interest, other than the strange circumstances of your past, but I pressed Garrett for more details immediately. One look at the lodgement form Ryker had completed and dutifully reported to us at the IDC had my heart stopping in my chest.”
His eyes roved her face keenly as he continued, “You look so much like your mother with that heart-shaped face and wild red hair. Your hair is darker of course and your eyes such an otherworldly turquoise, where hers were a unique blend of blue, green, and grey. Despite those differences, I knew I was looking at the face of my daughter for the very first time. I mean – I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to call you my – I know I don’t have that right –”
Max raised her hand to cut off his stuttered apology, “It’s okay. Didn’t we just go over this? I think it’s time we cut each other some slack, don’t you?”
Mordecai hesitated but Max knew it wasn’t because of anything to do with her. No, the guilt and regret he carried around was like a heavy cloak on his shoulders. She had deliberately never looked at him before – all those insecurities of hers had not allowed for it. But she had limited time now and seeing his soul was a handy little shortcut to getting to know the man behind the Scottish accent.
Opening up her second sight, or third sight, or whatever the hell it was, she was immediately greeted by an almost pure gold version of Mordecai. It was see-through but did not waver, flicker, or flash in and out like many of the other elemental souls did. Probably because death was such an inevitable and permanent part of the world. The figure that smiled at her was in no way expressionless or impassive as the man often portrayed himself. It was happy and handsome and filled with life of all things. But what really had her gasping was the almost solid gold thread, interspersed with colours, leading directly to her.
For whatever reason, Max could not see her own body-double. Nor could she see the life-threads that bound her to people, places, and things like she could with everyone else. She could see the link her paladins had to her, and the exquisite white and violet thread that came from Ryker and followed her wherever she went. But she was never the place of origin. Seeing the pretty gold and rainbow rope linking her and Mordecai together, proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man was her father – had always considered himself her father – and had very likely loved her from the moment he knew she had been created.
“Well, fuck me dead,” she murmured.
“Excuse me?!”
Mordecai’s shocked voice penetrated her daze and she felt herself blushing for the first time in years. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It’s just – your soul …”
Mordecai raised his eyebrows and glanced next to him where Max was looking, “You’re looking at my soul?”
Max held up her thumb and forefinger, “Maybe just a little.”
“That’s kind of weird,” he admitted, shifted a little uncomfortably.
Max laughed, the man having surprised her. “It is weird! Thank you! That’s what I think too!”
Mordecai smiled, looking relieved that he hadn’t offended her. “So, is there anything else you’d like to ask me?”
She thought about that for a moment, knowing her questions were limitless but that their time was not. So she asked the one question she was most curious about; “What was she like? Mother Nature?”
Mordecai leaned forward, his arms resting on his bent knees. “She was funny, smart, beautiful. You favour her.”
Max sighed, “I’ll have to take your word for it. I don’t remember her. Well, I don’t remember anything before I woke on the streets.”
Mordecai nodded, “I’m not surprised. I think you must have no memory of your childhood because you weren’t here for it – on Earth I mean,” he clarified. “I think you must have been raised in Otherworld by your mother.”
“Huh?” Max asked, a little stupidly.
“I had a lot of time to think about it and it makes the most sense. I believe your mother had you in her world and raised you there for the first few years of your life. And then when you were old enough, you were brought here,” Mordecai offered an explanation for Max’s lack of memory and also existence before she woke up on the streets.
“So what? I turn sweet sixteen and she dumps me on Earth with nothing but a comfy tracksuit? That’s pretty shitty.” Max stated.
Mordecai chuckled but the sound held no mirth, “It is pretty shitty. And so was the reason you were made.”
Max could see the guilt on Mordecai’s face. In fact, she could taste it, it was so intense and bitter. But she knew it wasn’t his fault. She didn’t even blame her mother. Fate sometimes just was. “I’m sorry, Mordecai. I’ve been a real bitch to you.”
Mordecai was already shaking his head. “No –”
“Yes. I have. I’m not saying I wasn’t entitled to, mind you. I think you’ve earned a little bitchiness. But right now, on the eve of a literal war, I really wish I had taken the time to get to know you. Not as a warden, not as an ally. But as a father.”
Mordecai’s eyes turned a little misty, “I wish that too. But there will be plenty of time for that after this mess gets taken care of.”
Max felt her gut clench but she didn’t dispute his words. Instead she asked, “Will you do something for me?”
“Of course,” he immediately answered. “Anything.”
“After today, will you stay here?”
He looked confused by her request. “Stay here?”
Max avoided his penetrating eyes, looking back toward the ocean, “Yes. Stay right here, with your paladins, in my home.”
“For how long?” Mordecai was frowning.
“For as long as it takes,” she told him, not offering any more information. “Max …”
His voice sounded worried but she steeled herself against it. “Just promise me you’ll stay with them. Don’t ask any more questions. Just promise.”
“I promise.”
Max blew out a breath at the softly spoken words. She knew he meant them and she felt one small burden lift from her shoulders. Now, she just had one more promise to eke out. She just hoped the person she needed to talk to was no longer getting her brains screwed out.