A Dominant Protector Romance
by
Candice Nolan
His sin, desiring her to be eternally his.
Pastor Ryan is a worldly man of the cloth.
He came from the street. Sin controlled him.
Now he owes his life to the church. But at home, alone, in his bed, he worships one and no other.
Amazing Grace.
Not the song, but his barely legal next door neighbor. At nineteen, this little brat reminds him of the tempting sins he's left behind. He shouldn’t be lusting after her tight virgin body. He’s a protector of her innocence. A confidant for her sins.
A hypocrite.
He preaches self-restraint from the pulpit, but Grace arouses him when they’re alone. Her tantalizing flirting drives him wild with carnal fantasies.
Grace is no angel. A strict upbringing has bred curiosity in her. She too pleasures herself, alone, in her bed. The faithful man next door tempts her to sin. She’s eager to experience life, dares to face temptations, and pulsing for Pastor Ryan to stretch her virgin soul.
Wicked desires tempts the faithful in this stand alone romance novella. No cheating. No cliffhangers. Plenty of insta-lust, steamy sex, and a guaranteed happily ever after. This daddy figure love affair with an age gap between lovers proves true love is worth taking a risk.
Chapter One
Grace
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
Every syllable of the old fashioned hymn vibrates over my shoulder. I tingle with excitement because I know who’s singing. It’s Ryan Nichols the new youth pastor at our church. He sings the song at me every time we pass in the hallway. And I melt. Every time.
He’s no one like I’ve ever known. His dark eyes bore into my soul and his cleft chin has my thighs quivering to sin. He is the end all to all my fantasies. He dominates my thoughts, but sadly I’m not alone. Our teen church group numbers in the hundreds. Half are single, barely legal, lovestruck girls praying to catch his attention. He’s in his late forties, we’re not even half his age, so we should all know better.
But a girl can hope.
And pray.
“Do you want to go first?” I ask. The hot, single pastor is singing over my shoulder in line at the coffee shop in our church. Cathedral of Hope is not a conventional church.
There’s three main buildings to the school like campus. The classrooms wing, the main sanctuary, and a smaller chapel for weddings and funerals.
The progressive campus is massive with two playgrounds, a gift shop, coffee shop, prayer room, and an indoor game center for the youth. They make every effort to keep christians of all ages happy and coming back to pay their tithes at church every week.
Then there’s the barn. It’s out back, near the field. The structure, spray painted with religious graffiti is where the teens of the congregation hang out. We have a stage, bleachers, a ping pong table, and the best thing about being a teen, Pastor Ryan.
“You go ahead, Grace.” He smiles and continues to hum Amazing Grace. When he gets to the end of a stanza, he winks in my direction.
“Eep,” I suck in a squeal and do an about face so he doesn’t see me flush red. He nudges my shoulder. “I peek around to him. “Yes, Pastor Ryan?”
“Do you—?” He’s starts then is interrupted by a passing couple.
“Pastor,” they nod.
“Mr and Mrs Cotton,” He nods back.
Do I what? Have a crush on you. Dream about you every night. Think you’re perfect. Love that sexy cleft in your chin. Like bananas. What?
“Grace.” He snaps me out of my thoughts.
“What?”
“The line.” He points ahead. Two people have been served and I missed it. Only one person separates me from ordering and Pastor Ryan has me so turned in knots I can’t even remember what I want to drink.
“Hi, Pastor Ryan,” the girl behind the counter talks past me to him. “I know the scripture for today. In case you want to call on me during service.”
“That’s awesome.”
I’m right up against the counter. It’s my turn now. He grips my shoulders and gently squeezes. “How about you take Grace’s order first?”
Feeling his strong hands hold me has rendered me speechless. Every word in the English language has flown right out of my brain. “I—I.”
My blood pressure is rising. I’m getting hot all over. His breath, warm on my neck isn’t helping. The girl behind the counter, staring at me isn’t either. I feel like I’m going to explode. “I’ll have steamed milk. With vanilla.”
“Can we even make that?” she scoffs.
“Of course you can,” Pastor Ryan encourages.
I’m caught in the middle, bouncing back and forth, looking at him, then her, as he explains how to heat the milk up. The explanation has gone on too long. I plead quietly for it to stop and for this morning to all go away.
“Just order something else.”
“That’s okay,” I sigh, shrugging. “I wasn’t thirsty.”
“Grace. Try chai tea. Make us two.” He holds up two fingers and the girl gets busy making the order.
I’ve never even heard of chai tea. But I know I’ll drink every drop, because he’s ordered it for me.
“Really. You don’t have to,” I argue while he pulls me off to the side, without paying. We wait and my heart races at top speed.
The coffee shop is small and I’m practically standing in his embrace. He leans into me with his elbow on the counter behind us. Even though he’s busy waving and greeting parishioners, his body is turned toward mine. I pretend to watch the crowd, but secretly I’m watching his muscled chest rise and fall.
What I wouldn’t give to see him up close and shirtless. I’ve seen him from a distance without his shirt, but it was through a window and blurry. I imagine my hand reaching out and stroking across his abs. How hard are they?
“Here,” is called out behind us. Pastor Ryan turns fast. Before I know it, he’s turned my direction, smashing my hand between me and him.
Oh, yes. I’m—touching—him. I’m paralyzed, unable to move.
“Here you go, Grace.” He hands me my drink and winks. “See you after church.”
He makes his way out of the coffee shop. I stay, my feet glued to the spot where I touched him. That is until the girl behind the counter notices my inability to move. She gives me a look that says “dream on” and I hustle out.
On the way to the main sanctuary, which I fully plan on going into, I see Naomi and Lydia. They’re cousins, but act like twin sisters because they look so much alike. I hate them. I know that’s a strong emotion, but I have good reasons to not like them.
They’re both a year younger and have always beat me at everything. I failed at making the cheerleading squad, they became co-captains. I took up photography to be on the yearbook staff my senior year. They became the senior editors this past year. They win every bible bowl competition, can quote any bible verse, volunteer more places, bake more cookies for the homeless, run more marathons for charity, and even sing as a duet in christian music videos.
So yes, I have reason to avoid them.
Just so that I don’t have to pass them, I shy away from the main sanctuary and stroll down the back hallway of the church. Along the way, I pass Dwayne. He’s the greeter at the back door and he hugs all the young women a little too close.
“Amazing, Grace,” he says, opening his arms for a hug.
“Hi, Dwayne.” I’ve never been creeped out by him. Other girls in my circle avoid him like the plague, but he’s always felt harmless to me.
“You’re heading the wrong way,” he says, commenting that I’m going out the door toward the barn and not in toward the sanctuary.
“I left something in my car.” I lie. It’s a little white lie, but I’m paying for it by allowing Dwayne to rub on my back. Now I’ve hugged him too long. I pull away and say, “Don’t tell my dad.”
My parents are super strict, especially my dad. Church comes first. If he found out I’m ditching the sermon, he’ll sit me on a pew in his line of sight, so he can watch over me.
“Your secret’s safe with me,” Dwayne puts a finger to his lips, locks them, then pretends to put something in his shirt pocket.
‘Thanks, you’re the best.” He makes a move for another hug, but I quickly leave out the door, before he can capture me for it.
Even though I’ve been out of the high school program for a year, I can’t keep away from Pastor Ryan. I’m compelled to sneak a peek at him. I head for the barn. And just in case Dwayne is watching, I turn down into the parking lot to cover my tracks. It’s the long way around, but I need it to gather my courage.
Almost there, with the building in sight, I lean on a light pole in the parking lot. With my bible cradled to my chest, I stare off into the distance and think. The doors to the barn are standing wide open. I can’t see the stage from my position, but I can hear his voice.
He’s singing.
He’s so passionate when he sings. I can hear the emotion he belts out with every note. Pastor Ryan is a reformed man. He was brought into Cathedral of Hope through the street ministry. When he was saved, he asked Christ to forgive him of many, many sins. Pastor Danny mentored him close. Took him under his wing. He saw what I see in him. A man of God, strong, willing to turn his life around. And a man of God needs a woman of God by his side. I know I could be the one he’s looking for. I’m closer to him than any of the other girls. He speaks to me.
I close my eyes, listening to his voice, imagining I have him alone, with his full attention. He only has eyes for me and I confess.
Ryan. I love you. No. I’m attracted to you. No. Do you know how sexy you are? No. I can’t gather my thoughts very well. His touch earlier still has me trembling. I don’t expect you’d feel the same way about me. But I thought you would want to know. In case you do.
“I’m hopeless. A fool,” I sigh. “Why would a man so perfect want a oddball girl like me? I’m just a kid. I haven’t lived through what he has. I’ve never even had a real boyfriend. No man ever destroyed property over me.”
He said during a sermon once that a woman was so mad when he broke a date with her that she actually tried to push her truck off a bridge. She didn’t, but she wanted to be with him that bad. He’s worth crashing a vehicle over.
Another reason why I’m just dreaming. Dad would never let me date a man who isn’t a virgin. Sex is a sacred bond. You’re tied to your sex partners. Every knot you tie dilutes the strength of the binding you can offer your soul mate.
Of course that’s what they tell us all. I’m a virgin. I’ve never had a chance to tie anything.
Walking away fast, I chicken out of being anywhere near the barn when service is let out. I also avoid the door Dwayne’s guarding. Instead, I walk along the side of the main building and slip into a back entrance that leads into the kitchen area.
Big mistake. The place is crowded with volunteers picking up and dropping off trays of snacks for the children’s ministry. Amidst them is my mom.
“Grace, darling.” Her face lights up. “Are you serving today?”
I watch the pre-schoolers on a regular rotation, but it isn’t my Sunday this week. Again, I tell a little white lie.
“Already have. Checking to see if you need any more help.”
“We’re short handed.” She side hugs me. “You’re a good girl. Will you walk with Dean to take this cooler of water bottles to the barn?”
To the barn? Anywhere but there. I panic, but don’t react fast enough. Dean, a broad shouldered man with adult acne, unruly hair, and pit stains shakes his head, gleefully overjoyed to see me.
“Grace can help.” He grabs one handle and picks up his side of the cooler. “Come on Grace. We can do it together.”
“Alright,” I sulk, picking up my side. All the way out to the barn, Dean is rambling on about his cat. I’ve had just about enough and I’m ready to drop our load and bolt.
“Oh, look here.” He jerks us to stop near bush. Then he bends down and motions for me to bend down too. “It’s dead.”
I’m curious, so I peer into the small opening in the bushes. Curled up, is a decaying cat. “Oh, gross!” I cover my mouth and jump up. “Have you told anyone else about this?”
“He’s not gross. It’s science. His fur is falling off cause the bugs are eating his flesh. They’re hungry.”
“I’m not.” I tug on the cooler, anxious to get far away from there. “Hurry up.” He stands and takes his side.
Why me? I ask myself. Why do I attract all the weirdos? God, if you’re listening, can you please send me someone normal?
No sooner had I thought the prayer, then we arrive at the barn. Pastor Ryan greets us at the door.
“Dean, my man.” He pats him on the back, then takes my side of the cooler. “I got this. How was your chai tea?”
Is it a sign? Are you speaking to me, Lord? Please say yes. Have him ask me out, if it’s a yes. Oh. If it’s your will. I’m too busy praying for a back up sign, that I forget that Pastor Ryan asked me a question. I’m left standing dumbfounded and confused at why he’s staring at me.
“Okay. Let’s get this inside.” As soon as he and Dean step away, I do a face palm.
Idiot. Chai tea. Yes, I loved it. Thank you. I owe you one. I scold myself, but keep my lips shut tight.
Dean, and several high schoolers pass out the waters. Pastor Ryan returns to take his place on the stage. It’s time for the final worship hymn. I don’t dare hope Pastor Ryan will say anything else to me, but a girl can sit in the back and dream.
After church, I don’t hope to say goodbye to Pastor Ryan. I slip out to walk to the car, alone. I chalk up my interactions with him as one in a million Sundays. Next week he’ll be buying some other love sick girl a chai tea.
I parked on the other side of the main sanctuary. On the way through the church, I see Pastor Ryan, with Pastor Danny, and his wife, talking in the hall. It’s a narrow passageway and they’ve already seen me, so there’s no other way, but forward. I just want to get this morning over with, go home, and crawl under the covers. I keep my head down, and plant my eyes straight ahead.
When I reach them, they’re talking about the prayer request schedule. I squeeze past with a light tap on Pastor Ryan’s back for him to scooch in for me to walk by.
He stops me with a gentle capture, by taking my wrist. I hate awkwardly being pulled into conversations I’m not included in. I have no desire to stick around, so I twist my hand free and keep moving.
“Grace, wait up.” Pastor Ryan gives Pastor Danny a quick pat on the back and hustles to catch up with me. “You never gave me your answer.”
What does he want? My heart is leaping away fast, but my feet remain planted in place. Why can’t I function around him?
He puts his hand on the small of my back and walks with me. “Don’t look back. She’ll sign you up for her summer classes,” he says.
My brain only half processes what he’s saying. “What question did you ask?”
“You know. If you liked the tea.”
“Oh,” I blush. “It was fine.” I stop, realizing we’re alone in the church. At least in that hallway. Walls that are usually bouncing off multiple conversations are so quiet I can hear us breathe. “Sooooo—” I exhale, daring to hope he’ll finish the sentence with . . . I’ll call you later . . . Can I kiss you? . . . You’re my everything.
I get nothing, so I start walking again. We walk in silence. He stops to check and lock every classroom door as we pass them. I slow down, so that I can walk with him as he does.
“Do you always do this?”
“Not always.” He has his hand on a knob, but hasn’t locked it yet. It’s fate, cause suddenly we aren’t alone.
Why do they have to ruin everything? I recognize the voices. Without thinking about what I’m doing, I grab Pastor Ryan by the shirt and push him into the classroom. “Why are they still here?”
“Grace.”
It’s Naomi and Lydia. Their footsteps get closer. I turn the lock and hold my breath until their shadows cross in front of the door. “Every time something like this happens, they show up. Can’t I catch one of them in sin for once? I’m not sinning. I can be alone with Pastor Ryan.”
“Grace,” he says again.
Then I realize what I’ve done and who I’ve done it to. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” I fall to my knees, bow my head, and clasp my hands into the church steeple pose. “Forgive me Pastor. I just didn’t want them to see me talking to you. They’re jealous and mean. I think they hate me too.”
“Yeah, I get that vibe from them.” He squats down in front of me, lifts my chin up with his middle finger, and follows my gaze until I look him in the eyes. “Do I make you nervous?”
“No. Yes. Sort of.” I answer feeling like a deer caught in headlights. “It’s just that. You know what the girls say about you. You’re handsome and worldly.” I lower my eyes to his crotch, cause it’s right there for me to look at. “And worldly.”
“I’m also your Pastor. A protector. And I hope a friend.” He pulls me to my feet, holding my hands firmly gripped in his, he adds, “You can come to me with anything. Anytime, Grace. I’m never that far away.”
I know he’s right, because I see him every day. Pastor Ryan, lives next door to me. I am special. I am Amazing Grace. I mean more to him then Naomi and Lydia do. They’re not his neighbor or the girl next door.
I am.
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