Chapter Seventeen
Jacob
I couldn’t stay for long in Vanessa’s bed, because before we knew it, it was time to pick Tommy up from school. We went together, and as we drove, I sneaked glances at her, trying to figure out if she was really sorry for what she’d done.
It was actually kind of adorable how she’d lied to me to earn a bigger punishment, and it was also hot as fuck. She’d really wanted it. Wanted it badly. As soon as I confronted her earlier about the little practice article she’d written, I’d had a sneaking suspicion that she would lie and say she meant to send it in for publication even though it was clear she never had any intention to, and I was right. She’d been even naughtier than ever before and lied right to my face, because she wanted to see me angry. She wanted to feel my hand raining down slaps on her ass. She wanted the belt.
Dirty little girl.
I didn’t doubt her when she told me she was sorry, but I didn’t believe that she’d entirely learned her lesson. I had a feeling she might mess up again at some point, because she was still so young. Still learning. Still craving punishment and structure.
I was secretly glad about that, because it meant she might give me an opportunity to discipline her again soon.
When we arrived home with Tommy, Vanessa disappeared upstairs with him to help with his homework, and I stepped into my study to catch up on all the work I’d missed when I left the office early today. An hour in, my phone buzzed, and I answered it in a crisp yet pleasant tone, seeing that it was Tonya, my company’s PR exec.
“Tonya, how are you? I’m sorry for leaving our meeting early today. Family emergency.”
“This isn’t about that meeting, Jacob,” she said. “As of ten minutes ago, the insider trading allegations aren’t the most pressing issue you’re facing right now, unfortunately. Although they are inextricably linked to this new problem.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
She hesitated. “I received an email just now. It’s….disturbing.”
“Disturbing?”
“Whoever this person is, they’re claiming you’re having some sort of torrid affair with an eighteen-year-old girl. The girl who nannies for you. Obviously eighteen is legal, but still, you can imagine how something like that looks to the general public for a man of thirty-eight. And we want to avoid any scandals like the plague right now, like we discussed in the meeting earlier.”
My heart sank. Shit. How the hell had anyone found out about Vanessa and me? We’d been careful. Never touched each other in public or given each other lingering glances, from what I could remember, anyway. Maybe we needed to be even more careful from now on.
It wasn’t that I was ashamed of her. Since we began, I’d wanted the whole world to know about us, but at the same time, I knew how it looked to others who weren’t part of our world. It looked….how would Vanessa put it? Icky. Gross. Seedy.
It looked like I was taking advantage of an innocent young girl, and if the finer details of our relationship got out as well—like all our daddy play—then that could be even worse. I could be branded as some sort of creepy sex offender, and people might even start to say that I didn’t deserve to be taking care of my nephew. None of that was true, obviously—the kink I shared with Vanessa was something between the two of us only, and it would never extend to anything or anyone else.
But the general public didn’t know that. They were sheep, so many of them willing to blindly believe what they were told. So willing to pretend that sex was something that was only done with the lights off in the missionary position.
“What exactly did the email say?” I asked, clenching my free hand into a fist.
“Not much. Just that they know about you two—if it’s even true, which I assume it isn’t—and hinted that they might go to the media.”
I sighed. “They want something?”
“People like this always want something. They want you to come forward and admit that the insider trading stuff is true. Or they’ll go to the media with the nanny story.”
“For fuck’s sake….this has Damon Schwartz written all over it,” I said. Jesus, how the hell had Damon even found out about me and Vanessa? He obviously had a source who knew for certain that the two of us were romantically involved, but who? It wasn’t like he could’ve found out on his own. He had to have a source close to us. “Would be really convenient for his case if I came forward and admitted to the insider trading, wouldn’t it? Except I can’t admit something that isn’t true. My company is solid. Legit.”
“Exactly. But that doesn’t solve this latest problem, unfortunately. This person might really go to the tabloids about this eighteen-year-old-girl story.”
“What would you suggest I do?” I asked.
“Let the girl go from her position in your house. The sooner you cut ties with her, the less damage the story can do if it does get leaked. Dating an eighteen-year-old is one thing, but an eighteen-year-old nanny who lives with you would seem like an abuse of power to a lot of eyes.”
“I can’t fire her. She’s amazing with Tommy.” And amazing in every other fucking way, I added to myself.
She sighed heavily. “I’m your PR exec, Jacob. I don’t tell you these things just to screw with you. I’m just doing my job and trying to help the situation. The girl might very well be a great nanny to your nephew, but this story could really hurt you.”
“Let this little prick leak it, then. I don’t care anymore.”
“You really won’t fire her?”
“No.”
Another sigh. “We’ll work on other strategies to mitigate the issue, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yep. Thanks, Tonya.”
I ended the call and went and found Vanessa. Tommy had finished his homework, and she was sitting on the floor with him, playing a dinosaur game.
“Tommy, do you mind if I borrow Vanessa for a few minutes?” I asked, making sure my face and voice were as relaxed as possible. I didn’t need to betray my troubles to the boy; he was just a kid.
He nodded, and Vanessa stood up and followed me downstairs. I patted the sofa, gesturing for her to sit next to me, and she did so, a tentative smile on her pretty face.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Not really.”
“Did I do something bad again?” she asked.
“No, it’s nothing like that. But this issue does concern you.”
I explained the situation to her, and her eyes widened. “How did this person find out about us? No one can know about us just yet!”
“My thoughts exactly. That little article you wrote to practice your writing…there’s no way you accidentally sent it to anyone, is there?”
She shook her head. “No. It’s only saved on the laptop. I’ve triple-checked that.”
“I thought so,” I said with a nod. “But anyway, whoever it is that knows about us, I think they clearly have some sort of evidence that proves our relationship, or they wouldn’t feel cocky enough to send that email. I’d say they’ve obviously teamed up with Damon Schwartz to take me and my company down. I just don’t know who would do that, or who might know about our relationship. Apart from us. It’s not like Schwartz himself could’ve found out, even if he was having me tracked by a PI. We’ve been hiding it.”
Vanessa bit her bottom lip. “Emma knows about us.”
“Your best friend?”
She nodded. “Yes. But she’d never tell anyone. I know she isn’t happy about us, but she’s my friend. I just know it’s not her.”
I nodded slowly. “I trust you, Vanessa, so I trust your judgment. If you say Emma isn’t capable of this, then I believe you. But I need you to think. Think hard. Is there anyone else who might know about us? Someone who might want to hurt me? Someone who’d go so far as to team up with a guy like Schwartz?”
She frowned, and then her eyes widened. “My father. It could be him.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Now that he’s a successful life coach and motivational speaker, he could have connections in the business world. So he might know of Damon Schwartz and his vendetta against you. Also, when I saw him the other day, he mentioned how he found me. He said he’d been looking for me for ages, and he saw me by total coincidence that night I went to Mojo’s Bar. He saw you pick me up and drive me back to my apartment, and then he followed us. So he also saw me leave with you instead of going inside. I told him I’d moved to be a nanny, and he probably correctly assumed that I moved in with you. So yeah….he definitely knows that you exist in my life.”
“And you think he would want to hurt my reputation?” I asked through gritted teeth, sensing that she was right. Her father had been a piece of shit back in the day, from everything she’d told me, and it was difficult to believe that he’d truly changed as he was now claiming.
She shrugged. “Maybe. He seems to really want to get back in my life. Maybe he’s mad at you for ‘stealing’ his daughter from him, or some other sick twisted thing like that.”
I nodded slowly and ran my hands through my hair. “That sounds like it could be right. And he could definitely know Schwartz. Jesus…”
I let out a heavy sigh, and Vanessa tentatively ran her hand over my back, stroking me softly. “I’m so sorry, Jacob,” she said. “I never meant to cause so many issues with you. I never meant to…”
I pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her. “Don’t be silly, baby girl,” I said. “This is not your fault. You aren’t causing the issues.”
She bit her lip again and cast her eyes down. “I feel like I am. I feel like you’d be better off if I wasn’t around.”
“Don’t ever say that,” I said. “It’s not true. I need you here. Christ, you have no idea how much I need you.”
“Maybe…maybe you could tell me, then,” she suggested softly.
We were both silent for a second, and then I leaned forward, putting my head in my hands. “I’ve never told you about Tommy’s parents,” I said. “What it did to me.”
“You have. They died in a car accident, and—”
“I haven’t told you the whole story,” I said, cutting her off again. “I don’t really talk about it. Ever. But you…I feel like I can tell you anything.”
She looked at me with those big beautiful blue eyes, wide as anything. “You’re right, daddy. You can tell me anything,” she said.
I turned my head back to face the other side of the room, staring into space. I was quiet for a long time before finally speaking up again.
“They did die in an accident. Another car T-boned them. I know logically that that wasn’t my fault. But still…it was my fault, in a way.”
“Why do you think that?” Vanessa asked, slipping a small hand onto my leg.
“My brother always struggled with money. He was just useless with it. His wife wasn’t much better, to be honest. I helped them out as much as I could, seeing as I was obviously in a position to do so, but they were too proud to accept much. I could barely get them to cash the checks I sent them. Anyway, one day their car started playing up, and they didn’t have the money to fix it. I sent them more money. Told them to get it fixed. But as usual, they were slow to accept it.”
Vanessa nodded, waiting for me to go on.
“So one evening a few days later, my brother called and texted me to ask me to go and fetch Tommy from a play date. He still hadn’t cashed the check and gotten the car fixed properly yet, and he didn’t want to risk it breaking down again. But you see, I was too busy being a reckless prick. I was out at a club drinking and partying, even though it was only seven fucking P.M. I saw the missed calls and texts on my phone but I ignored it because I wanted to focus on myself.”
“Uh-huh.”
“So I didn’t pick Tommy up. My brother and his wife were forced to go out and get him. Their car actually worked fine that time, but I wish it hadn’t. Ten minutes into the drive, the accident happened. Freak thing, really. Drunken idiot slammed right into them, like I said earlier,” I said. Tears clouded my eyes at the memory. “I know in a rational sense that it’s not my fault the other driver did that. It’s not my fault that my brother’s car was a bit screwy, and that he needed to ask me to fetch Tommy. But it is my fault that I didn’t answer the phone. It is my fault that I let them go out to get him. So I feel partially responsible for their deaths. I feel like it’s my fault Tommy is growing up without parents.”
Vanessa grabbed my hand. “Jacob, thank you for telling me this,” she said softly. “I don’t think it’s your fault at all. I don’t mean to sound harsh about your brother and his wife, but Tommy was their responsibility. He wasn’t yours at the time. He was theirs to care for. You weren’t obligated to drop everything and pick him up whenever they called.”
I sighed. “I know. But still….I feel like I should’ve done more. I should’ve cared more instead of caring only for myself and my partying. So since then, it’s like…”
“Like what?”
“I’m not sure how to explain.”
“Just try.”
I mulled it over for a second, trying to find the right words to express how I felt. “I feel this strong, ever-present urge to care for someone and keep them safe. Someone like you. Not just Tommy. Obviously I love him more than anything and I’ll always do what I can to keep him safe, but with you it’s like….it’s an adult relationship with an extra element to it. Something that makes me feel complete. Makes me feel like I’m not alone or a massive screw-up. Like I have a partner in life who can be equal in some ways, but also let me take control and take care of her in ways I never used to.”
Vanessa looked thoughtful. “I get it,” she said. “It makes sense. But I think you’ve always been this kind of person who cares for others. It’s not just because of the accident that happened. You were like this before that. You sent your brother money and tried to help him for years. You wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t care about anyone except yourself, Jacob.”
I turned to look at her, look at those perfect blue eyes. She was wise beyond her years sometimes. “Maybe you’re right,” I said softly. “Maybe I was always like this, and I just needed to find the right person to share myself with. The right person to care for. The right little girl for me.”
“Like…me?” she said shyly.
“Yes. Like you, Vanessa.”
She sat up straighter. “Well, I’m not going anywhere,” she said softly. “No matter what my father—or whoever this person is—tries to do.”
“And I won’t let anything happen to you,” I promised, squeezing her hand. “You’re my good girl. You’ll always be my good girl.”