Chapter 8
ROWEN WANTED HEATHER
, there was no question about that.
He cupped Heather’s face, prying her luscious lips from his. She’d been all over the place since he’d kissed her in her office. He understood her being unsure about having sex and being nervous.
But this wasn’t nerves.
He fanned her cheeks with his thumbs as her eyelids fluttered open. “We need to talk.” Talk about a buzz kill.
She stepped back, lifting her hand to her mouth, chomping down on her finger, eyes filled with hurt.
And fear.
“I really like you,” he said, his hands on her hips, wanting to pull her tight against him, but he needed to understand a few things first. “I’ve thought of you every day since I jump started your car and I so want to make love to you.”
“Then why are you pushing me away?” she asked, finger still halfway in her mouth.
This wasn’t the same woman who’d coaxed him confidently into the dentistry chamber of torture. The woman who masterfully helped him conquer one of his deepest fears.
“Let’s sit down.” He took her by the hand, leading her to the bed. Not the best place to have this conversation.
A million thoughts flew through his brain and all of them ended up with him wanting to land his fist in the center of her ex’s face.
He sat cross-legged, staring into her eyes, his knees touching hers. Her beauty took his breath away. But it was the woman who’d already wormed his way into his heart. “You’ve been giving me mixed signals all night, and I don’t want you to do anything you might regret later.”
Her eyes narrowed into tiny little slits ready to shoot daggers at him. “I’m a big girl. I can make my own decisions and don’t need you to—”
“This is what I mean. You go from hot to cold so fast I can’t keep up.”
“I don’t like being told what to do or how to feel.” Her words were fierce, but she still chewed on her damn nail.
“I know that,” he said, trying to keep his frustration in check. “I’m not trying to control you, but I am trying to understand you, and tell you how I’m feeling.”
“Oh.”
Finally, she dropped her hand to her lap.
“I really want you, and I think you want me too, but for some reason you’re afraid of me, and it’s not just normal being nervous about being with someone for the first time. I need to know why.”
She let out a long sigh, leaning back on her dozen or so pillows. He’d never understand women and their pillows.
“Most of it is me being nervous,” she said, tucking her knees against her chest. “Like how you felt sitting in my chair this morning.”
“Vulnerable,” he whispered as rage threatened to surface. “Exposed and terrified you were going to cause more pain than the broken tooth.” He swallowed, hard. “He didn’t…didn’t force you, did he?” Rowen clenched his fist.
“Rape me? No.” She shook her head. “But I’m sure had I not left when I did, he could have.”
“Bastard,” Rowen muttered. “How many times did he…hit you?”
“Once is too many,” she said, wiping a few tears from her cheek. “He slapped me the first time. The second time he punched me. The third time he pinned me down and…well…that’s when I left, and I’ve never looked back.”
Rowen rubbed the side of his face, sucking in a deep calming breath and letting it out slowly. “I’m about the same size and build.”
“It’s not just that. You could be short and scrawny and I would still have trouble trusting my judgment. Everyone thought Jeff was such a nice guy. He faked it really well. You’re always helping people and—”
“I’m nothing like him.”
“Deep down, I know that. I wanted to take it slow because I like you, but then you ran across the yard and had to be all sweet and whatnot with our neighbors, and it reminded me there are good men in the world. I need to get past this hurdle or I’m going to be stuck in this spot forever.”
He found himself pondering a new dilemma. Did he want to be that guy who helped her over the hump so she could move on with her life?
With someone else?
STOP.
He wasn’t ready for forever, but he was ready for a girlfriend.
“So, essentially, you’re worried I’ll turn out to be an asshole.” He shifted, fluffing up a few pillows and leaned next to her, stretching out his legs, and taking her hand in his.
“Something like that.”
“Well, I can’t promise I won’t act like a stupid man sometimes, but I can promise I will never hit you, or hurt you intentionally. Other than that, what you see is what you get.”
She curled her fingers around his hand and dropped her head to his shoulder. “I can’t promise that putting in the permanent crown won’t hurt at all.”
He chuckled, wrapping his arm around her warm body, reaching across her for the remote he’d eyed on the nightstand. “What do you like to watch on TV?”
With her head tucked neatly in the crook of his arm, she rested her hand on his chest, fingers dancing in the center. As much as he wanted her right this second, he wasn’t going to push.
He wasn’t going to leave either, unless she asked.
“Cheesy chick flicks.”
“Of course, you do.” He pointed the remote at the television. The sound barreled through the speakers, startling him. “What are you, deaf?”
She laughed. “I sometimes listen to it while I’m in the bathroom and there is only one up here and it’s down the hall.”
“Need to get you a mini television or a tablet.” He adjusted the volume and flipped through the channels until he found something between a stupid romance and a gory action flick.
She shifted, draping her leg over his.
He could be a gentleman, but not if she continued rubbing his chest, and putting her thigh dangerously close to something he didn’t want standing at attention.
Well, he did.
But not yet.
Hell.
He focused on the screen, trying to ignore the woman and her damn hands with her purring breath tickling his skin.
He should leave, but instead he kissed her forehead, letting his lips saver her sweet, peach scent. The moment her mouth brushed against his neck he knew he’d be at her mercy for as long as she wanted.
Needed.
He’d do just about anything she asked.
He rolled, tipping her head back, giving him access to her fabulous mouth and sweet tongue. The taste of wine lingered on her lips, intoxicating his mind.
Her warm hands slipped under his shirt, gently massaging his back and shoulders. Any tentativeness she had, seemed to disappear with each stroke of his tongue. He knew he’d have to hold back and let her lead, and that was fine with him.
His only reservation was what this experience would do to him when whatever feelings she had fizzled like a sparkler winding down to the end. He’d always been the kind of man that fell hard for a woman. He loved liked he lived: with passion and fierce loyalty.
That netted him a broken heart and a divorce.
Well, to be fair, his heart had been broken more than once.
He roamed her backside, including her ass, squeezing, enjoying the moan vibrating from her mouth to his. Normally, he would roll over on top of her, but he didn’t think putting his body or weight on her would be a good idea. He wanted to reassure her that he’d never hold her down, even figuratively.
Shifting to his back, he pulled her on top of him, her legs straddling him. Her body glided over his like a gently crashing wave.
She sat up and whipped off her shirt. He’d barely gotten a good look at her pink lacy bra that pushed her breasts together before she shed that as well, tossing it across the floor.
Digging his fingers into her ass, he did everything he could to maintain control, when all he wanted to do was flip her on her back and devour every inch of her until she collapsed from pure pleasure.
He raised up, kissing the underswell of her perfect small mounds, making his way to her tight nipple. He had to hold her hips tight, keeping her steady, because if she moved, he might really turn into a teenage boy and it would be over before it began.
Her hands glided through his hair, encouraging him take more.
He didn’t hesitate. Her body’s every curve fit perfect against his, but for the first time in a very long while, he had no idea how to proceed. He wanted her to feel loved and worshiped, but agonized on how to do that without it putting her in a position where’d she’d feel vulnerable.
She eased his shirt over his head, forcing him to release her nipple, something he could have played with all night, if that was what she wanted.
On his back, with her chest against his, her tongue in his mouth swirling feverishly, he slipped his hands into her shorts, surprised to find she had on no panties. He curled his fingers over the bottom of her ass.
“Maybe we should remove the rest of our clothing,” she whispered, her breath heated his neck as she nibbled on his ear.
He groaned. “I think that’s a fabulous idea.”
Gracefully, she scooted to the edge of the bed before standing.
He tried not to act like a horny toad as he pushed most of the pillows to the floor and shoved the sheets to the foot of the bed, all while watching her slowly undo the button…zipper…then rolling them over her hips…
Standing at the foot of the bed, with his mouth hanging open, he stared at her naked body. Her hips curved out from her tiny waist. Her skin glittered like a rainbow. His feet couldn’t move him fast enough across the room. He frowned the second she raised her thumb to her mouth. He took her hand and kissed it.
“I’ll never hurt you,” he whispered, leaning down and kissing her cheek. “I don’t know what to do to make you believe me.” Wrapping his arms around her body, gliding his fingers gently over her skin, he continued to brush his lips on her neck, ear, and cheek, until he took her mouth with purpose, commanding the kiss with fierce strokes. He tried to be as passionate as he could without ravishing her like it would be the last time he ever made love to a woman.
Her nails dug into his skin, scratching down his shoulder blades, causing him to arch as they reached his lower back. Before he had a chance to catch his breath, her deft, little fingers had undone his pants and he was kicking out of them, groaning, feeling a warm grip around his…
“Whoa,” he said, followed by a guttural groan that came out more like a growl. Slinking his fingers around her wrist, he removed her hand. His chest heaved up and down with his raspy breath. “Let me enjoy you first or I might end up leaving you unsatisfied.”
Her smile beamed across her face and her eyes twinkled liked the northern lights leading him home.
Laying her on the bed, he roamed her body with his hands and mouth, trying to taste every inch of her sweet skin. She responded to him with deep moans. Her fingers ran through his hair, then down along his shoulders. He shuddered with every glide of her nails on his body.
Satisfied he’d savored her skin, he traced a line from her bellybutton, to her warmth, his tongue following. She tasted like finest lobster tail drenched in warm butter. Heat raced through his bloodstream, creating the kind of fire that no one could put out.
Ever.
As long as she was near, it would burn inside him.
“Rowan…stop,” she whispered.
He jerked his head up, catching her gaze. “Did I hurt you?”
A slow smile formed on her lips. “No, I just want something else right now.” She cupped his face, tugging at him to lie on top of her.
A thought that terrified him.
He tried shifting to his back so she could be on top, but she would have nothing to do with it.
“Like this,” she murmured in his ear, her legs wrapping around his thighs.
Raised up on his elbows, he stared into her smoky eyes. As much as he worried making love to her with his full-weight on her would cause a chain reaction of feeling as though she’d been pinned down and trapped…
He’d do whatever she asked.
Biting down on his lower lip, he entered her slowly, keeping the bulk of his weight on his elbows.
Her eyelids fluttered and her back arched, demanding more of him.
A wave of dizziness washed over him like a hurricane pushing a palm tree. She continued to grind her hips against him, coaxing him deep insider her until his resolve snapped. He took her mouth with more force than he intended, but her tongue readily greeted his with fury. He matched his thrusts with every move of her hips, his toes curling, trying desperately to hold off until her body rocked with pure delight.
He didn’t have to wait long as she jerked her mouth from his, moaning his name, her heels digging into the back of his knees. Her insides clenched him so tight as her body shuddered he’d lost all control, slamming deep into her over and over again, until a growl vibrated from his throat as he spilled into her, wave after glorious wave.
His biceps shook from a combination of keeping his weight off her and the intense climax that rippled through his system. So intense that he ignored the fact the condom he’d brought over was still in his wallet.
His movements slowed as his breathing returned to something that could be considered normal. He fanned his thumbs over her high cheekbones. Her body relaxed as she blinked open her eyes.
Her smile sucker-punched his heart, his mind, his soul.
Tenderly, he kissed her lips before rolling to his side. He found the sheet and comforter and covered their bodies before wrapping his arms around her, holding her as tight as he could without crushing her.
His hands caressed the skin on her arms and he kissed her forehead more than once. Her arm and leg draped over him like the sun warmed the beach.
Not only did he have it bad for her.
But this one night ruined him forever.
He’d never want another woman again.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m perfect,” she murmured.
Boy was he going to ruin perfection. “We didn’t use protection.” No point in beating around the bush.
Her body stiffened for a second before her fingers continued dancing across his chest. “I’m on the pill and clean.”
“I’m clean, but not on the pill, so hopefully you didn’t knock me up.”
His statement got a soft slap across his peck. He chuckled, shifting her body so he could spoon her. Her body molded against his as if she were the final piece of a puzzle.