CHAPTER 2
When I pull up in front of the dorm, Millie is standing there with my suitcase already packed. She steps toward the car when I roll to a stop. After tossing my bag in the backseat, she says, "Are you sure you want to drive up there all by yourself?" Concern covers her face. I nod. I don't trust myself to talk. "I can come with you. I just have to finish up my term paper and we can go. Or I can come now and ask the prof for an extension. You shouldn't take off by yourself, not with your mom sick."
"I've driven it alone before. I'll be fine, Millie. Finish up the semester and have fun with Brent."
Millie's mouth is open, but she doesn't say anything else. When she changes the topic, I feel blindsided. "Where's Dr. Granz?"
"I don't care." My grip tightens on the steering wheel.
"What should I tell him when he comes looking for you?"
I glance at her, suspicious. "When he comes looking? What makes you think he's coming?"
"Brent was with a group of guys on the Intramural Field last night. He said something happened, that Dr. Granz was there. The university said he broke up a fight." She swallows hard. "Rumor has it that you were the reason they were fighting."
I grab my head with my hands and close my eyes. I pinch out all the light, the dorm, the noise, and try to let it roll off. Of course people would think that. Everyone thought I was screwing my teacher all year. Fine. Whatever.
"Sidney—" Millie starts.
I cut her off and take her hands through the window. It's a normal gesture, something I do to keep Millie focused when I'm telling her something important. I don't even think about it. "It wasn't like that, okay? Believe whatever you want, but it wasn't—" The words dry up in my throat when Millie takes my wrists and turns my palms over.
Her eyes have that knowing look when her gaze meets mine. "Sidney, what happened? It looks like you tried to claw your way through a brick wall."
I snatch my hands back and push my hair out of my face. "Nothing." My jaw locks. I want to leave. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to tell her anything. There's no single explanation. One answer makes twenty more questions, and I don't want her to know what Dean did to me.
"That's not nothing."
"I fell, okay? Last night when I came out of English, I fell."
"Then what about Granz? People are saying he—"
"Millie." I cut her off. "I have to go. I'll call you and fill you in, okay?"
She nods, which makes her blonde curls bob back and forth. "Fine, but I think you're being stupid." She leaves it open-ended, as if I'm stupid for so many things.
"I'll miss you, too. See you in time for Summer Session, okay?" Millie nods and steps away from the car. We are supposed to take a class on feminism together this summer. I begged her to take it with me, which means if I'm not back with my butt in a chair in twenty-two days, Millie will kill me.
"You better. Otherwise I'll turn into a feminazi and you'll be my bitch." She winks at me in a distinctly southern way, which takes the bite out of her words.
It makes me laugh. "I will. I'll call you once I get going."
"Fine, but don't text me while you're driving seventy-five miles per hour. I don't want to tell everyone in my eulogy that you act really stupid sometimes. And, Sidney…"
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Yeah?"
"No matter what's happening with you, I'll always have your back. You know that, right?"
Aw crap. Millie gives me big, fat doe eyes. Between my hands, my mood, and the rumors about Peter, she knows something's going on. "Fine," I grumble. "Get in, but if you ask to pee every five seconds, I'll leave you on the side of the road." Millie squees and bounces into the seat. "Don't you need clothes?"
"Psh." She waves a hand at me and grins. "They're already in your suitcase. You seriously think that I'd make you do this by yourself? Get real." Millie pulls her seat belt across her lap as she scolds me.
"Nice nineties verbiage."
"Suck it."
We both start laughing as I pull away. I'm so emotionally fried and really want to be alone, but Millie's right—I shouldn't try to do this on my own. Maybe it will help to have her along.
It's strange—at one time this little town was my refuge, but now it's strangling me. I want to put distance between me and Peter as fast as possible. My stomach twists thinking about him. I can't believe he's a Ferro. I can't believe my life has gotten so messed up so fast. Seeing Dean was bad enough. I can't wait to hit the interstate and get the hell out of here.