6
The Argentine sun was warm and bright the last day of Rick’s South American leg. After a sold out concert in Córdoba, everyone had two days off to spend as they liked before they were getting back on a plane for a long, long flight to London, where Rick would begin his comparatively humble European leg. Only the British and Germans want me. He was having a concert in Madrid as well, but the ticket numbers weren’t great, which surprised everyone but Thomas. “Just because you speak Spanish doesn’t mean they care about your bastardized American Spanish,” he grumbled at a business meeting. The concert stop hadn’t been canceled, but nobody was terribly optimistic.
Rick could have spent his last day in South America with Olivia or even on his own, recharging while enjoying his mother’s homeland, but there was something more important. Yes, more important than that. He was spending his last evening with Fiona by taking her out to dinner in the hotel’s five-star restaurant, which served only the finest Argentinean food. Almost like how his mother used to make it.
“You’re not eating your asado,” he said, picking up his fork and poking Fiona’s barbecued beef ribs. “You’re not going vegetarian on me, are you? You can’t do that in Argentina. Beef for everybody!” Growing up he always heard his mother complaining about the price of beef in the States compared to Argentina. When almost all of her recipes called for it, there was a problem.
Fiona tried to smile, but Rick could tell she was not in the mood for frivolity. Ever since she got hurt in Rio, she hadn’t been herself. She still put in the effort at the shows, but José had altered the sets so she didn’t have to perform as much. Rick assumed that this had to do with her injury, even though the doctor on tour said she was fine to dance… for now. Everyone was being cryptic, and that sort of shit grinded Rick’s gears.
“It’s delicious. Thanks for bringing me out tonight. I’m not feeling well today.”
“You haven’t been feeling well a lot lately.” Fiona was prone to getting ill when traveling, but it usually wasn’t this bad. I don’t even want to sleep with her. I just want her to have a nice final night. She was returning to the States the next day while everyone else flew to Europe. “I’m sorry you have to leave the tour. It won’t be the same without you.” Who else would flirt mercilessly with him now? Besides Olivia, of course.
“I’m sorry I have to go too. Things are going to be changing a lot around me. It’s a lot to take in at once…”
Rick pushed his beef and chimichurri sauce around his plate. The condiment was a bit heavy on the garlic, but Rick wasn’t kissing anyone that night. Olivia had said she was going to bed early so she wouldn’t be too jet lagged when they arrived in London. “What’s going on? This has to be more serious than whiplash. If you can dance, you can surely keep touring…”
“It’s not only that.” Fiona opened her mouth again, but no words came out. Only a heavy, hesitant breath that couldn’t have possibly smelled of the food she wasn’t eating. “I’ve got other problems I didn’t know about until I went to the hospital.”
Now Rick’s wheels were turning inside his head. Disease? Disorder? What could be worse than a muscle injury? He had danced through worse. “Don’t tell me you have cancer.”
“Oh hell no.” Finally, Fiona laughed, and it seemed heartfelt. Rick missed her humor and general liveliness. Whatever was afflicting her must be serious. “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it?”
If he weren’t as close to Fiona as he was, Rick would have stayed out of it. Her business, after all. But he considered her a friend, and seeing her acting like this and having to give up on one of her dreams of touring around the world made him sad in turn. He would have felt the same about Olivia or even José, although that man probably had about five things making him a grumpaholic. If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll make something up.
Fiona sighed. “I will have to tell you at some point. I might as well tell you now while we have some privacy.” And yet she looked around, making sure their private dining alcove was not overrun with paps or waiters. “I’m pregnant.”
Rick kept chewing on his food, but the taste evaporated from his tongue. He couldn’t even feel the texture anymore. “Que?”
“Whatever. You heard me. I found out at the hospital that I’m almost in my second trimester. You know what that means, right?”
Rick wasn’t a math wizard, but he could do it on the fly when part of his life was on the line. His brain calculated how long it had been since he and Fiona last had pre-marital relations. Twelve weeks? Thirteen? It was before he met Olivia, he knew that much. Before the tour. Not horribly long before the tour. “It’s been longer than that!”
Fiona wasn’t going to play up his impending hysterics. I’m not hysterical. What man wanted to hear any implication like that, though? “Rick, I’m not saying you’re the father. It is a possibility. It’s either you or some other guy.”
“What other guy?”
She shrugged. Awfully nonchalant of her. “You don’t know him. Honestly. Don’t give me that look. You were seeing other women and I was seeing other men. For example, you were fooling around with Olivia, and I was fooling around with this guy. Who cares?”
“You know about Olivia?”
“I’m not stupid, Rick.” She snorted. “Apparently stupid enough to get pregnant though…”
“You’re not stupid. It could happen to anybody.”
“Yes, and it happened to me. And you might be the father. Don’t worry, I’ll get a paternity test before it’s born. You’ll have to comply, though. If it’s not yours, then hey! You’re off the hook. To be honest though, if it is yours, well…” The look Rick made must have given Fiona an ulcer, for she quickly said, “I don’t want to marry you, but I would need help. I’d want you to do right by your kid. This isn’t about your money either. I’m telling the other guy the same thing when I get home, and he lives with his damned mother. I won’t even tell anyone, least of all the media. I’d leave that up to you to decide.”
“I can’t believe this…” Rick sat back in his seat, his food now as untouched as Fiona’s. No wonder she’s been acting this way. Getting ill… morning sickness. Not eating much… same thing. And no wonder she had to go home! They couldn’t have a pregnant woman on tour as a dancer. Rick was shocked she had finished the South American leg if she was that far along! He stared at her, trying to see a bump on her stomach, but could see nothing. “You’re saying I might be becoming a father. How am I supposed to take that?”
Fiona tried to eat something, but the way she turned up her nose said she was more sensitive than usual. “I was going to wait until your tour was over to tell you, but now’s as good of a time as ever. Like I said, it might not be yours. Either way, I’ve gotta go home, and I guess it’s officially over between us.”
It had been over for weeks, but Rick guessed she meant any chance of them hooking up again in the future. What’s that mean? That he wouldn’t find a new mother attractive? Not that Rick was suddenly interested because Fiona implied he wouldn’t be… “I don’t know what to say. Should I congratulate you? Console you? I can’t tell what you’re feeling.”
“I don’t know what I’m feeling either. Indifferent, right now. I’m sort of in a strange place, physically and mentally. I’ll have a better idea of what I need to do and how I should feel about it when I get home. Please don’t let this upset the rest of your tour. Even if it is yours, there’s nothing you can do for me right now. Carry on as you would anyway.”
Nothing he could do? At the very least he could give her money to go to a good doctor and get the best care. I’m going to do that anyway. Even if it wasn’t his, Fiona was someone he cared about and didn’t want to see suffer. Especially needlessly. He knew she was far from well-off, and who knew how her conservative, traditional family would take the news or support her. “You’ve caught me completely off guard. But if you need anything… and I mean anything… please tell me. I’ll give it without hesitation.” Money for doctors and diapers… DNA samples… a punch to the face of the other guy…
“I don’t want to take from you, Rick. If it’s yours, that will be big enough of a shock.”
“And if it’s mine, I want to make sure I do right by it.” He was still in shock, but not so much he couldn’t think rationally. “It’s as simple as that. Even if it’s not, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be taken care of.”
“Rick, I don’t want your money.”
Only if it’s for sure mine, right? Rick could see the child support rolling in now. Not that he wouldn’t, but he didn’t have time to deal with someone being hypocritical. “Don’t argue. I’ll have Thomas or someone contact you about it. You’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.”
Fiona crossed her legs and shook her head, as if Rick were someone to pity. “You’re a good guy. Really. I always knew you were, but I still wasn’t expecting this. Probably because I don’t think anyone owes me anything. I’m sorry this happened.”
“Well, that’s the chance we take.” Now Rick was thinking of Olivia. She said she was on the pill, but how effective was it? Was she taking it correctly? Was she actually taking it at all? He knew those were irrational thoughts based on his current state of mind, but damnit, this was a huge thing! Should I tell Olivia? Why would he? They weren’t serious. They were friends fooling around, but how good of friends were they? Their entire relationship was based on sex right now. Their conversations were frivolous. Precursors to getting into bed. How well did he really know her? If he knocked her up too, what would happen? Anarchy. Rick would soon be known as the rock star who knocked up his dancing entourage.
Dinner wasn’t the same after that. Rick’s spirits weren’t damaged, but his mind was running a mile a minute and he had little to show for it. Between that news bomb and traveling to Europe the next day, all he could think about as he saw Fiona off to her room was that come fatherhood or not, his life had changed forever.
That sort of thing would color any man’s mind. Especially when he couldn’t afford to have a colored mind. So when Rick stepped off the plane in London and couldn’t get excited by the new sights and sounds, he knew he was screwed.
Of course, the show must go on. That was the mantra even his mother espoused whenever she felt too ill or injured to teach her classes. She would hobble into her studio, attach a surgeon’s mask to her face, or prop herself up in a corner while she made her son yell instructions to paying customers, but by God she was always there getting the job done. Just because Rick might be a father sometime soon didn’t mean he couldn’t perform with the same gusto he always did.
Indeed, it was easy going on stage in London and forgetting his troubles. His screaming fans – who held signs and blew kisses to him from the front row – had a way of purging his heart and filling it with the type of adoration superstars craved. The beats of his own music allowed him to dance the uncertainty out of his body. Tense muscles? What were those? When Rick had to ice his shoulder after the show, he thought nothing of it. It was worth the reset in his brain.
The only thing keeping him from making a full recovery that tour was Olivia.
It wasn’t her fault. She was merely existing. Rick hadn’t told her anything about what Fiona said – he hadn’t told anybody. Yet whenever Olivia appeared by his side on stage, ready for him to lift her into the air or dip her toward the floor, his heart caught in his chest, and it wasn’t because of love. Or maybe it was.
Rick had no idea how he really felt. He was enjoying his stress free relationship with her. Dates, silly talks, and sex for as long as they could stand it. Half the time Olivia spent the night with him, and having her in his arms, his nose nestled in her perfumed hair were like tastes of Heaven. Rick wasn’t in a hurry to attach a word to these feelings. He had never been in love before, and he wasn’t in a hurry to experience it. I’m young and getting started in life. There was plenty of time to fall in love. Even if he may be a father in a few months. Even if his career came crashing down the next day. I don’t care. That was the big bonus of still being young. He could afford not to care.
Except Olivia kept reminding him of things he didn’t want to think about. Like sleeping around. Becoming a father. Having to hold himself up to a higher standard than he had before. Like I said, it’s not her fault. Olivia had no idea this was going through Rick’s head. She didn’t have to know.
But Olivia was a perceptive woman. That night after the concert in London, when she came up to his room to laugh about that one crazy fan who tried to throw herself on stage only to have security “escort” her out, she noticed that Rick was a bit more somber than usual. “Is it your shoulder?” she asked, and took the ice off his bare chest to massage his muscles. Under normal circumstances Rick would grin to have this sort of attention, but he was hoping to have time that night to brood in silence.
“Just a bit more tired than usual. You know, all that jet lag plus putting on a concert. Should probably go to bed early.”
Again, Olivia was perceptive. She knew right away what Rick meant by that. “It’s okay. I’m tired too. Maybe I should go back to my room.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m a bit preoccupied right now.”
Olivia swung her legs over his lap and wrapped her long arms around his neck. Her nose was only inches away from his, and Rick was not impressed to feel himself react in a positive way between the legs. “Maybe I could help you be preoccupied with something else.”
Against his better judgment, Rick took her up on that offer.
The last thing he should be doing was anything related to sex. With a woman. Of child-bearing age. For all Rick knew he was as fertile as Mesopotamia. His lusty high was almost eradicated when he imagined having two pregnant lovers. Somewhere, Thomas was freezing up, his Manager Issues alarm going off as he wondered what Rick was getting tangled up in this time.
He was young, and a beautiful woman was offering to make love with him. Even at his most rational it would be difficult to say no to that.
Not that it was ever easy to say no to Olivia. That first time they did it in the practice studio was completely spur of the moment. Sure, Rick had been attracted to her, but he was attracted to almost every woman he danced with – to some extent. What he didn’t count on was wanting to do it again and again with Olivia, whom he barely knew outside of dancing and sushi joints. They didn’t talk much about their personal lives, and when they did, it was mostly Rick telling her stories about his childhood, his mother, and what it was like busking on the streets with an acoustic guitar until Thomas showed up one day and offered to make him a star.
So why was he so enthralled with her? She wasn’t the prettiest woman he had ever dated, not that such a thing mattered, but she was still attractive. Really sexy when she seduced Rick – not that it was difficult. She challenged him on the dance floor without trying to make an example out of him. Her no-nonsense attitude and dedication to her dreams was refreshing after encountering multiple women who were aimless and only in the game for the guys. Let’s not forget how good she is in bed. It didn’t have anything to do with tricks or skill, although she was not lacking in those areas. Or at least Rick didn’t know what he could suggest or teach her if he really wanted. Instead, it was the way she unleashed her passion when they became one. Not once had Olivia ever held back or pretended to like something to please him. She either loved it already or gently told him no. She wouldn’t back down. She wouldn’t be taken for a ride. There was something not only refreshing about that, but downright fantastic.
Rick flipped Olivia onto the bed, a gray, drizzly London evening overlooking their tryst in the cozy room. No time to look and brood over that, however, when there was a randy woman purring beneath him. “I like it when you take control,” she said, her fingers brushing against Rick’s cheek before they kissed toward oblivion. Ain’t it nice that she doesn’t even care about my fame? In the beginning it was hilarious that Olivia had barely known who he was, let alone what the titles of his songs were. Now he knew why. Olivia was so involved in her own world that she didn’t have time for what was trendy. The only reason she auditioned to be in his video was to challenge herself and further her career.
“Why is it women like it when guys do that?” he asked, somewhere between the blood rushing to his cock and warning bells going off in his brain. “Maybe we like to be controlled sometimes too.” Not that he was going to stop what he was doing – namely, pulling Olivia’s blouse up and getting ready to bury his face in her chest.
“You want me to give you some shit about alpha males and animal magnetism or whatever?’ Olivia laughed. “Honestly, I just like you slamming your hips between my legs.”
“Awesome. That was my plan.”
Olivia didn’t interrupt their lovemaking after that. Like Rick, she flung herself headfirst into the feelings they gave one another. Whatever those feelings were. Rick wondered if Olivia even understood what was happening between them. Before, he was anxious that Olivia would break it off with him once the tour was over. I’ve been never anxious about a girl breaking it off before. That was before he was beguiled by Olivia Owens.
Now he worried that he would be the one breaking her heart.
Olivia whimpered against his lips. He loved that. He loved it when she showed off her vulnerability, both as a woman and as a professional. People couldn’t grow until they became vulnerable. Olivia liked to play the hardass, but at the end of the day she was as vulnerable as anyone else. The fact that she showed it almost only to Rick? Well, it made him feel special.
Making Olivia feel special in turn was a goal of his that day. It gave him something to work toward, especially since his brain was full of other crap he couldn’t fight off otherwise. And what had Olivia said she liked in bed? When he took control and something about his hips and her legs? I can do that. I’d do it all day if I could.
Giving Olivia exactly what she wanted had the desired effect. She gasped in delight, her body opening up to his and shuddering until he thought she would die. It did inflate his ego a bit. Especially when she whispered how good it felt. The feeling is mutual. Rick was a man. He didn’t care about the shit the media and society told him he supposedly cared about, especially when it came to those intense moments of sex. But Olivia had no inhibitions once they got down to it, and that was reflected in the way her body responded to him, inside and out.
When he was with her, he could forget about his life for a few minutes. Sure, memories and thoughts came and went even in the height of his passion, but for the most part it was all about the here and now, where Olivia clung to him and he in turn thrust into her, reveling in the sweet sounds of her throat and the way her fingers dug into his shoulders and scalp. He could push her into the depths of the bed and she wouldn’t say a thing. She loved it. He knew, because if Olivia didn’t love something, she would make sure he damn well knew. Rick much preferred that to a woman who couldn’t voice her desires in the bedroom. Few were pretty enough to deal with that.
Like most, his favorite part was toward the end, when they were so in tune with one another that the earth could swallow them whole and neither of them would notice. Those precious moments before either of them climaxed, his face burrowed between her neck and the pillow, her legs one minute squeezing his waist and the next spread so wide that he couldn’t help but push farther into her, where she screamed in ecstasy and sometimes even praised his skills. Nothing better than an ego stroke as he climaxed and completely forgot everything else happening in the world.
Olivia didn’t want to talk afterward. She rarely did. If they did have chats, they were usually instigated by Rick, who didn’t care for the silence and was always looking for ways to find out more about this woman who had captivated him. Why do I have to be captivated by anyone? Such a nuisance. Especially when he knew how futile this relationship was in the end.
Rick wasn’t usually so pessimistic or defeatist. That was probably why he insisted on clinging to Olivia for as long as she allowed, his heart thumping and his brain telling him he was a fool. A fool who was falling in love, and there was nothing he could do to stop it – let alone overcome the inevitable pain that was to come.