33.
DANIEL
After driving over to Kate’s shitty apartment, I let myself into her building and pounded on her door, half-tempted to knock it the fuck down. When it opened and she saw me standing there, her face lit up like she’d hit the lottery.
“Daniel,” she breathed out and wiped her tear-stained face.
I pushed past her, walking into her living room before sitting down. “What the fuck is going on with you, Kate? Why are you acting like this?”
She started spouting off at the mouth, “Did Elizabeth call you? Did she tell you to come see me?” She moved next to me on the couch. “I knew she would. She’s such a good person, but she doesn’t love you like I love you.”
The second Elizabeth’s name had left her lips, I wanted her to stop talking.
I stood up and started pacing. “First of all, how dare you call Elizabeth at her work. Her work, Kate! Second, calling her and talking to her about us…who does that? Do you not realize how crazy that is?”
Her head lowered into her hands as her shoulders began to shake. I hated seeing women cry.
“I just wanted to get her to break up with you, so you’d give me another chance.”
“You asked her to break up with me?” Her words spun around like a carnival ride inside my brain. How had this become my life? It was no wonder Elizabeth couldn’t handle this shit. I could barely handle it, and it was my own doing.
“I just wanted to see you again, but you wouldn’t talk to me.” Tears continued to spill down her cheeks as conflicted emotions raced within me. “You ignored all my calls. I just wanted to talk to you, Daniel. I need to know why. What did I do wrong?”
Sitting back down next to her on the couch, I pulled her against my chest and let her cry. “Kate?” I said her name softly, knowing that only expressing my anger wouldn’t solve anything. “Kate, look at me.”
I reached for her chin and tilted her face up. She batted her big doe eyes at me.
“I never lied to you, did I?”
She wiped at her face before shaking her head.
“From the very beginning, I told you what this was between us and what I wanted from you, did I not?”
“You did,” she choked out.
“Then, why are we here right now? Why are we going through this? Why are you ruining the best relationship I’ve ever had?” It was a low blow, but it was the truth. Sometimes, the truth hurt, and I needed to be crystal clear in this moment.
“Because I figured you’d change your mind. When we first started out, I knew that you saw me as just a friend, but I assumed, after time went by and you got to know me better, that you’d develop real feelings for me.”
I shook my head. “I told you that would never happen.”
“I know,” she agreed.
“You just didn’t believe me?”
“I guess I hoped for different.”
What the hell was it with women? Were they incapable of keeping things uncomplicated? Clearly, the answer here was no.
“I’m sorry that I hurt you, but I never lied to you. I never promised you a future, but I understand now how you could have wanted one.” I had to admit that my actions had been less than gentlemanly and certainly not always considerate even though I had intended for them to be both by being so honest upfront.
“After being with you for so long, I guess I just thought we’d never end.”
“To be honest, Kate, I had no idea that I’d meet someone like Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth had changed everything. My whole world had shifted the moment I found her. You know how when you meet that one person who tilts your world on its axis just by being a part of it? That’s how it felt when Elizabeth stepped into my life. It wasn’t something I could control or talk myself out of- it was just one of those things- where a part of you is being drawn to another person in that unexplainable way. People talked about experiencing that kind of thing all the time. I always thought it was bullshit until it had happened to me.
“I want someone to feel that way about me. I think I always hoped it would be you.”
Knowing that I’d caused this pain forced me to try to make it better. I could be a complete asshole but not to her, not right now. She’d given me everything I needed for two years without complaint.
I hugged her tighter against me, rubbing her shoulder to help bring her comfort. “And I know, without a doubt, that you will find that guy, Kate. I’m just not him. You deserve someone who puts you first and wants to be with you all the time, not just when he needs sex.”
She laughed, and my heart lightened.
“I’m really sorry I called Elizabeth.”
“I know.” I squeezed her gently, letting her know I forgave her.
“Desperate women do crazy stuff,” she said with another laugh.
“You can say that again.” I moved her body away from mine, and I pushed up from the couch. “Come here.” I extended my hand and pulled her up. I hugged her long and hard, knowing it would be the last time.
I whispered, “You are an amazing woman. Don’t ever forget that, and don’t sell yourself short because of what we had, okay? You’re going to make some guy extremely lucky, and if he doesn’t know it or doesn’t treat you that way every single day, he isn’t the right guy.”
A smile spread across her face as my words sank in. “Thanks, Daniel. I’m really sorry again for all the drama I caused.”
“I know.”
“Do you want me to call her and apologize? I probably should.”
I briefly glanced away before meeting her swollen eyes. “No. This is something I need to do on my own, but thank you.”
Closing her apartment door behind me, I headed for home, wondering how the hell I was supposed to live my life without Elizabeth Lyons in it.