Chapter 29
Pastures
When Nathan woke up the next morning, Seraphina wasn’t in bed with him. He lay there for a few minutes, listening for any sound of her. When he heard none, he got up and headed for the shower, sure that she had gone into the house to do the same.
After getting dressed, he headed into the main house to find her and get some breakfast. The house was as silent as the grave.
“Seraph,” he called out.
No response.
He looked around the kitchen, not seeing any signs that she had eaten yet. He wondered if she had fallen back asleep. If so, he planned to slip in her bed and join her. Hangovers sucked.
As he made his way up the stairs, wariness crept over his body. It was that sixth sense, the one that always told him when something was wrong with Seraphina. He hoped he was wrong.
At the top of the stairs, he saw her bedroom door was wide open. She wasn’t in her bed, and he didn’t hear her moving around in her bathroom. No water was running through the pipes in the walls.
Swallowing down his fear, he stepped into her room. It was empty. Looking toward the bathroom, he found partially folded clothes laying on the ground outside the door. Then he saw something that made his blood freeze.
Just a couple of steps from the pile of clothes was blood. Lots of blood
Heart thrashing now, he sprinted to the bathroom door, thinking Seraphina had fallen. That she had slipped or tripped and had hit her head. Why else would there be blood all over the bathroom floor?
When he stepped into the bathroom, however, she wasn’t there.
Backing out of the room, at the scene straight out of a crime drama, he felt last night’s alcohol creeping up his throat. He forced it back down, needing to search out the rest of the house.
She could have crawled away, looking for him, looking for help. That was the drag marks on the floor. It had to be. Nothing else made sense. They lived in a safe neighborhood. A safe town. No one would break in and hurt a sixteen-year-old girl. Not Seraph.
Nathan ran through the house, becoming more and more sick as each room, under each bed, inside each closet, behind every couch and desk turned up empty. He looked around the pool house, the yards, ran down the beach, screaming Seraphina’s name. By this point, adrenaline was making his fear heighten. Tears were pouring down his face as snot ran a constant stream from his nose. He couldn’t care less. Seraphina was all that mattered.
He tried to call his parents, his brother. No one answered. He called all their friends. No one had seen her. Finally, options all gone, he called the police.
~~~~~
Hours later, in a numb state, he found himself sitting in a police interrogation room. His parents were on their way, though it would be another several hours before they got there. They had called the family attorney, but he hadn’t shown up yet.
The police weren’t telling him anything. He kept asking if they had found her, but he was ignored. Instead, two detectives just continued to question him.
“When was the last time you saw Seraphina Nolic?”
“Were you and Miss Nolic in a sexual relationship?”
“Were you afraid Miss Nolic was going to tell your parents?”
“Were you drinking last night?”
“Did you get in a fight with Miss Nolic?”
On and on it went until Nathan finally jumped up and screamed, “I know what you’re trying to do! I didn’t do anything to Seraph! I’d rather die than let anything happen to her! She was fine!” He started to cry, trying to choke it back. “She was right next to me! I was holding her. I was holding her …” Unable to get another word out, he fell back in his seat and buried his head on his arms folded on the table. He shook with the force of his tears, muttering repeatedly, “She was fine. I was holding her. She was fine.”
When he got himself under control, the detectives resumed their questioning, asking the same questions until Nathan started to cry in frustration. He was so tired. He wanted to go home and look for clues. He wanted to jump in his car and look for her. He wanted his parents at his side. He wanted his brother. He wanted her.
“Do you recognize this?” Something slid across the table.
Nathan lifted his head and froze. It was the infinity necklace he had given her only a couple of weeks ago.
“Where …? Where did you get that?”
“Where’s it from?” one of the detectives responded.
Nathan licked his dry lips. “I gave it to Seraph for her birthday. She …” Nathan had to stop before the tears came again. “She said she’d never take it off.” He reached for the bag, tracing the symbol through the transparent plastic. Then he drew his hand back quickly.
Blood was on the angel pendant.
Closing his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting off the tears, fighting off the scream that wanted to rip from his throat.
That was when the family attorney finally showed up, putting an end to all interrogations and taking Nathan home.
“Jesus Christ,” the man fumed as he drove Nathan toward his house. “Don’t you know not to say anything without an attorney present? You’re going to dig yourself a hole, kid!”
“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” Nathan said on a sigh, mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. “I didn’t do it. And the sooner they figure that out, the sooner they can get their ignorant asses out there and start looking for her.”
“Well, so far, you’re suspect number one, kid. They don’t have anything pointing in any other direction. You were the only one home with her, and there’s no sign of a break-in. And you admitted to taking a shower before discovering the scene.” The attorney gave him a wary look. “As your lawyer, I have to know … Did you hurt or kill Seraphina Nolic?”
Nathan gritted his teeth, his hands balling into fists by his sides. “No.”
~~~~~
Nathan was sitting on the couch in the living room with the attorney, who was going over the notes the police had given him, when his parents arrived.
His mom ran into the house first, running right up to him and folding her arms around him. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry we weren’t here. What happened? Has there been any word? Have they found Seraphina yet?”
Nathan couldn’t answer. With his parents’ entrance, the dam had broken. He had reverted to a whimpering child, needing his parents to make everything better.
Vivian Styles sat down with her child in her arms, soothing back his hair and alternating between running her other hand down his back and squeezing him tighter. She was terrified for her children. For Nathan, who was now a suspect. And for the child of her heart, Seraphina, who had been hurt and was still gone.
Meanwhile, Nathan’s father, Kevin Styles, greeted the attorney, thanking him for his help then asking what was going on.
Nathan’s parents both had a commanding presence. He took after his mother with her dark hair and hazel eyes, whereas Jason was the spitting image of their father: light-blond hair and dark brown eyes.
He listened to his parents talk to the lawyer until he passed out, the day that felt like a million years taking its toll on his body.
When he woke up, it was to the pound of a fist against the front door.
Nathan sat up, finding himself still on the couch and in yesterday’s clothes.
He looked over toward the kitchen when he saw his mother step out. Despite the late hour she had gotten home last night, and the hours of talking that must have gone afterward, she was already dressed for the day, not a hair out of place.
He pulled out his phone to check the time as his mom answered the door, finding it dead. Tossing it on the coffee table, he then ran his hands over his face and tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes.
“We have a warrant to check the premises,” he heard a deep male voice say.
“But …” Vivian stammered, “didn’t you guys clear the crime scene yesterday?”
“Yes, ma’am, but now we need to check the rest of the house.”
The silence weighed on the air, proclaiming what Nathan already knew.
He was the main suspect.
“Fine,” he heard his mother say. Then a team of about ten men and women filed inside, calling out instructions and separating to various parts of the house.
Vivian sat beside her son, putting her arm around him while calling his father who he learned was forming a search party.
Ten minutes later, the man whose voice he recognized as the one at the front door approached them. “Excuse me, ma’am, but where is your son’s bedroom?”
“The pool house,” she replied. When the men made to step in that direction, Vivian added, “Which is not on this search warrant.” She held up the paper, giving him a twisted smile. “Rookie mistake, I’m sure. We have a shed, too. Don’t forget to put that on there next time.” She got satisfaction out of the fact that she was digging one in on the people who had their pitchforks gunning for her son while her surrogate daughter’s real abductor was still out there.
It didn’t matter. Over the next two years, the police would retaliate more often than she could, interrogating her son endlessly, making the entire town question his testimony. Even the school would ask them to either transfer or homeschool him “out of fear of his safety” after he was brutally attacked in the locker room before rugby practice.
When everyone finally cleared out of their house, Vivian turned to her son. “We’ll find her, Nathan. I swear to God we will find her.”
He closed his eyes and fell back into the cushions. He didn’t want to fall apart again. He needed to be out there, looking for her. How could he have even slept last night, knowing she was out there somewhere? Bleeding. In the hands of a psycho. He really needed to get his head on straight.
With his eyes still closed, he said, “I’m gonna get dressed and meet up with Dad.”
“You can’t,” his mom whispered.
He opened his eyes. “What do you mean I can’t? I have to. Seraphina needs me to find her. I know I can.”
“It was highly advised that you not leave the house.”
He sat up and angled his body toward her. “But I need to find her, Mom.”
“I know,” she mouthed, tears brimming her eyes, but she wouldn’t let them fall. She cleared her throat and looked up, blinking her tears away. “I need you to tell me everything you guys did while we were gone. Where you went, who you were with, if anything unusual happened. Did you guys meet anyone you don’t know?”
With a sigh, Nathan leaned back against the couch cushions and answered all his mom’s questions. “We went to school, came home, had some friends over—all people we knew—”
“Did anyone act strange?”
Nathan thought about it, looking up as he replayed all the events over the last four days. Nothing stuck out. “No.”
“Okay. Go on. What else did you guys do?”
At her tone, he looked over sharply, realization dawning. “I love her, Mom. I love her more than anything.”
“Why didn’t either of you tell me what was going on between you?” she beseeched, hurt and betrayal heavy in her tone.
Nathan shrugged and looked away. “Seraph … she was afraid you would kick her out. We didn’t know how you guys would react.”
Vivian gasped, hurt that they would, or even could, think such a thing. “I admit it was a shock to learn that you guys had been … intimate, and from the police, no less. But, how could you think so little of me?”
Nathan looked down at his lap, feeling younger than his sixteen years. “We didn’t know.”
“There would have been rules, more supervision. I mean, what kind of parent does that make me? First, my son is having sex with my charge. Then she is taken from—” Vivian gasped, getting up and walking toward the front window. She refused to cry.
Outside, a police car was parked indiscreetly across the street, keeping surveillance. She thought the idiots should put their men to better use by finding her little girl.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” she heard her son mutter from the couch. “It was my job to protect her—”
“No,” Vivian interrupted as she whirled around. “Don’t you dare blame yourself. She is mine and your father’s responsibility. We don’t blame you, and we never will. It’s our fault. Ours.”
Nathan didn’t answer. There was no use arguing with his mother. He would just keep his blame to himself.
Looking out the window again, Vivian told him, “When those idiots are done with their second search, I want you to move back into the house. For now, clean yourself up. I’ll make you some breakfast after I break the news to your brother.” She had tried to call Jason several times already. All calls had gone immediately to voicemail.
“Yes, ma’am.” Nathan got up and slowly made his way to the pool house.
Vivian remained standing at the window, tears streaking down her face. Tears only she would know about. With two children’s lives at stake while the oldest was off sacrificing his own, she didn’t know how she would survive this.
~~~~~
The next two years were the hardest years of their lives. Death threats, defilement of their home and vehicles, their business taking a hit with the bad rep …
Sometimes, Nathan seriously thought about killing himself, ending everyone’s pain. Only the hope of seeing Seraphina alive again stopped him each time the thought crossed his mind.
Nothing was the same anymore. His parents had aged ten years, Jason had grown distant and was no longer the happy jokester, and Nathan barely spoke a word to anyone.
Seraphina’s room was more like a shrine now, a place they all stood outside of and just looked into. Occasionally, his parents would venture inside, kneeling at her bed, praying to God for her safe return. Nathan fell asleep on her bed many nights, silently crying until his tears ran dry. Jason was caught sitting on her bed once, staring sightlessly. It was the only time he had ventured into her room, preferring her door to be closed on the few times he had visited.
When a knock sounded on the door, Nathan looked up from the book he was reading for his online college English class. Both his parents were standing outside the pool house door, his dad with his arm around his mom who had tears cascading down her cheeks.
Nathan’s heart stopped. His mother never cried. Not when Seraphina first went missing. Not the numerous times he had been hauled down to the station to be interrogated. Not when Nathan’s car had been pushed off a cliff. Not when she had been called to the hospital because some boys had jumped Nathan, leaving him with a broken arm and cracked ribs. And not even when her own father had died last year.
He slowly made his way to the door, trying to delay the inevitable. It wouldn’t make a difference. If she was dead, whether he was told or not, it wouldn’t change the outcome. He just preferred not to know.
“What’s going on?” he asked hesitantly as he opened the door for them. After a year, he had moved back into the pool house, needing the solitude. Neither of his parents had said a word, letting him have as much freedom as he could get.
“You need to sit down for this,” his dad said as they stepped inside.
Nathan didn’t want to sit down. He didn’t want to hear it. His heart thrashed in his chest, his breathing escalating. He thought he would die. He hoped he would. He would if they told him what he thought they were about to tell him.
He paced in front of them as they sat side by side, holding hands. Nathan watched them, blood roaring in his ears, until he saw his mother crack a smile before sobbing out, “She’s alive!”
The world stopped. He felt his knees give out, landing jarringly on the cold tile. He caught himself on the edge of the coffee table, dropping his head onto it as gasping breaths escaped his mouth.
He couldn’t believe it. It went against the statistics. He had known she was gone, though he hoped and prayed he was wrong.
Then came the bad news.
“But we can’t see her.”