Chapter 23
Nightglows
Nathan pulled back from Seraphina, adrenaline coursing through his body and setting his hair on end. Goosebumps, they broke out everywhere. From the roots of the hair on his head, down his neck, back, arms, to the hairs on his legs, feeding the already frenzied static that kissing her had conjured.
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
After several moments of shock, moments spent blinking at her in confusion, he snapped out of it and said, “Come on; I want to get you out of here.” He wrapped his hand around hers as he stood from the stool then guided her toward the entrance. This was a conversation that needed a more private venue.
As they made their way through the vestibule, the bouncer yelled out, “Is that him, baby girl?” He didn’t hear Seraphina answer, but she must have given him some kind of signal because he then said, “Proud of you, girl. I better not see you in here again without him. Caveman!” he yelled the last word as the door swung shut behind them.
Nathan raised his brow at Seraphina, who just shrugged coyly back. Then he took in her appearance again when the bitter wind blew past.
“You got a coat back there?”
She shook her head.
Of course not, he thought to himself, having seen for himself that she had entered the place in only what she now had on.
He took off his hoodie then pulled it over her head before reaching for her hand again once her arms were through the sleeves, leading her over to his car.
“What about my Jeep?” she asked.
He hadn’t thought of that. “We’ll pick it up tomorrow. I’ll let Jeffery know not to tow it.”
“Jeffery?”
“The cook,” he answered as he opened the passenger door for her.
“So that’s how you got access to the closet,” she exclaimed after he had gotten in the car.
He didn’t respond as he started up the car, blasting the heat on high. Thankfully, it was already warmed up since he hadn’t been inside the club that long.
“Do you—”
Nathan pressed his finger against her lips. “Don’t talk. I need time to process, okay?”
She nodded. It was the least she could give him.
They traveled through the city in silence. Then through the dark country. Both were lost in their thoughts as the music softly played around them.
Shock and confusion didn’t even cover the emotions he was feeling right now. He wanted to cry while also laugh in disbelief. For six years, he had been looking for her. Then he had found her yet couldn’t do anything about it because she wasn’t her. Every minute of every day with her had been agony, not knowing when Seraphina would show up. Now he was finding out she could have been there the entire time.
He definitely needed the time in the car to process that. He needed the time to let the anger and hurt work its way out of his system. He needed to think about the whys. Why she hadn’t told him sooner. Why she had kept it to herself, playing a hurtful game with him.
At that thought, he paused. Realization hit him.
Had he not played the same game? Was that why? Neither had said anything. Both had pretended. He was just as guilty. Damn.
When they pulled up to the sleeping house twenty-five minutes later, they both silently got out and made their way to the front door where Nathan unlocked it for them. Inside, only soft lighting lit up the interior. Ms. Diana had long ago gone to bed.
When they made it to the upstairs hallway, Seraphina paused at her door. Nathan, however, grabbed her hand and led her into his room. Once inside, he spun her around, disorienting her, before he pushed her up against the wall and surrounded her, his mouth at her ear, his body touching all of hers, right down to their toes.
“You knew who I was the entire time?” Betrayal leaked out of his tone.
She turned her head and gave him a sad smile that was burdened with guilt. “Yes, but Tristana didn’t. I was there when you first came to the house. When you didn’t respond to me, I figured you had somehow found out what had happened. The … shame had me hiding behind Tristana. Remember the gym? When you dared me to flirt with that guy?”
Nathan nodded, knowing what she was going to say.
“I took over then. It was me who flirted with him, who dared you to dance on the treadmill. Tristana wanted to dare you to flash yourself while lifting weights. She can be really mean.” She gave a one-shoulder shrug, trying to make light of the situation.
Nathan narrowed his eyes at her. “So, you’ve been Seraphina this entire time? While hanging out around the house? The kickboxing training? New York? Working? Ignoring me? When Jared took you away to Florida for three weeks?”
Seraphina nodded, knowing she had made him upset. Needing to get his mind off it, she asked softly, “How were you always able to follow me?”
“Your phone. I linked it to mine.”
She shook her head, never really having thought about that. She had supposed he had followed her the old-fashioned way—by tailing her.
“Guess I wasn’t smart enough to figure that out. I have to admit, I didn’t know it was you in the closet either at first.”
Wrong thing to say. Nathan now resembled a bull about to charge with the way he was heavily exhaling out of his nose.
“What do you mean you didn’t know it was me? So, you were trying to start something with Peter while messing around with some stranger?”
“No, I … I mean … Kind of,” she finished sheepishly before hurrying on. “When you kept rejecting me, I found solace in … well, you. That was when I figured it out. Your smell, your build, the feel of your face … I didn’t need light to tell the difference. I needed to be blind.”
When Nathan still looked pissed, she turned to the tactics she had learned through the years to sway his mood, her character entirely changing.
“Do you remember how you used to love me?” She pressed her entire body against his, wrapping her arms around his waist and looking up at him. “How you could never stay angry at me?” She sighed, looking away from his hard eyes. “No one loves me like you do, Nathan.”
Since that didn’t seem to be working, she pushed up on her tiptoes, whispering in his ear, “Do you remember how we broke some of the furniture in the pool house?” She nipped his earlobe, pulling it between her lips. “Remember how you pumped into me so hard the bed moved off its frame?” Smiling slightly at the memory, she caressed down his chest, down his waist, until she was cupping his already hard length. “You remember that one position that would make me incoherent afterward? I’ve never met another man who could perform that feat. That was my favorite position. I used to beg you to do it … remember?”
“Don’t speak of other men, please.”
“I was looking for you.”
“Liar,” he spat. “You were playing some sick game. I don’t know what, but I saw the repercussions. You purposely hurt people.”
“No, I—”
“Yes, you did. I saw it. Married men, engaged men, claimed men—you broke up their relationships!”
“They did it to themselves,” she said softly, looking down. “They didn’t have to come with me. They didn’t have to cheat.”
Unable to argue that point, Nathan spat, “Breaking up friendships?”
“Please,” she scoffed. “No true friend would take something that was already ‘claimed’,” she mocked, using finger quotes. “Just like no true friend would break their friend’s little brother’s—” Seraphina clamped her mouth shut. She had wanted to say it for so long, but it didn’t seem to matter now. The only person who could link her to the man was dead.
“What …? What are you implying, Seraph?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly. “Just trying to prove a point.”
“No. That meant something else. Something personal. I can see it in your eyes.” He grabbed her upper arms when she huffed and started to turn away. “Tell me, Seraph.” He shook her, his anger escalating with his fear. “Tell me!”
“No!” she screamed in his face. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over. It’s over!” She sagged in his arms, trying to use her dead weight to get him to release her.
He simply pulled her up until their faces were inches apart. “What happened, baby?” His voice gentled, a wobbling noted in his words. “Hm? Please tell me, Seraph. Who hurt you? Did you run? Why didn’t you come back?”
“I didn’t run,” she confessed, wanting to leave it at that.
“Then what? Why did you disappear?” He couldn’t make sense of her revelation. If she didn’t run, then someone had in fact taken her. Who? How did she survive? It didn’t make any sense. “Did you know I was a suspect in your disappearance? Did you know I couldn’t leave, go anywhere, for two years?”
He was getting mad again, remembering how badly he had wanted to run off and search for her himself. How the whole town still gave him a wide berth while staring daggers at him and calling him a murderer behind his back. The police had detained him the very minute he had reported her missing, after he had found her blood all over her bathroom floor. Not until a detective in Florida had contacted the police in California, two years after her disappearance, had he been taken off the suspect list.
“What happened, Seraph? Please, God, tell me what happened,” Nathan begged from between gritted teeth, on the verge of crying as the crime scene played out in his mind. All that blood and the fear, the agony, the helplessness of not knowing what had happened to her. Not knowing if she was dead or alive. The girl he had protected since childhood. The girl he had grown to love as teenagers. That love that had only escalated after her disappearance, turning into a lamenting sorrow that had torn holes into his heart and had escalated into an obsession.
As she remained silent, quietly sobbing in his arms, feeling all his pain as her own, he relived that last night …