Kade

I was gone. In all ways. Harlow had me wrapped around her finger. When she was angry with me, I was sick in my stomach.

Right now I had her trust. It might not last long, but I thought I could sustain it at least until we knew our next stop.

I drove us to a rundown motel that I’d used as a hiding place before. The owners kept to themselves and it was three miles off the highway exit but still deserted.

I was fairly sure we could have a quit few hours; it was late evening and we were exhausted. I’d get through to Chase and Harlow would get her shower and a little rest.

We’d been running on fumes physically since we’d dropped off the dogs and even in that short time span I noticed a little hollow in Harlow’s cheekbones. She was beaten down by what she’d been through. I was serious about protecting her and that started with the most basic survival. She needed food, water, and rest.

I didn’t know how much of any of it I could get her, but six or eight hours? That I could do.

I opened the room door for her.

“You shower, crash, whatever you need. I’m going to get some food for us. I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

“Okay. I think a ten-minute hot shower sounds like heaven on earth.”

I kissed her and I swear we could have gone at it again. My attraction to her was off the charts. It was so intense that I wondered if this was how Axle and Benz had wound up defying the MC and nearly getting bounced out. Because of a woman. I could see myself doing shit for Harlow – anything, no matter if it was good for the club or not.

I held her gently by the shoulders. I looked critically at her face. She had a bruise on her jaw. I moved my fingers to her ribcage.

“Lift your arms. Can you?”

She did it.

“I don’t think anything’s broken.” I pivoted her body away from me and toward the motel bathroom.

“Be sure to get me fries, okay?” she said as she disappeared into the bathroom.

“Got it!” I’d already called the Shoney’s and ordered burgers, fries, dessert, and drinks – everything I could fit in a bag. I didn’t think she’d bolt, but I took the keys to the truck anyway. I trusted Harlow, but running wasn’t crazy. It made sense. Her on the road alone with the guns? I didn’t even want to think where that would lead.

I also called Chase again.

This time he answered.

“What the fuck is going on? Are you okay?”

It was good to hear his voice.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a fucking eventful few hours.”

I told Chase about all that had happened, in as abbreviated a version as possible. Then he laid a bomb on me.

“Yeah, well, we were attacked. Hawks decided to bring the war here, too.”

“Shit, is everyone okay?”

“Mostly, but our bikes, for the most part, torched.”

“What the fuck?”

“Yeah, they firebombed the bikes, we came out to see what was going on and they started shooting.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, we’ve got a shit storm of retaliation wrapped up in a territory war.”

“I’m a few hours ahead of the last Hawks we ran into.”

“Bear wants you to get to Mexico. Make the drop. And then get back here as fast as you can. We’re going to need all of us as this shit heats up.”

“Got it. I need to know, what does he know about Harlow? What does the club know?”

“Well, we all know that woman is a bargaining chip right now. The Hawks want her head and you’ve got her. Be careful. We’ll do our best to keep them busy here in Port Az so you can make the drop.”

“I will.”

“Kade, we took a big hit but I’m worried about you out there, man, with no backup.”

“We’re okay, just keep the Hawks distracted, would you?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Great, drop is tomorrow. I can handle it.”

We hung up and I worked to calm my rage at the fucking Hawks.

They had attacked the MC in Port Az. That was bold as hell and a blatant declaration of war. But Bear couldn’t just declare war in response. We were going to have to all be in Church, what we called our MC meeting, to decide. If open war was going to happen, we all had to be on board. I shuddered about what that really meant.

The Devil’s Hawks may not have rules but The Dark Saints did. It was how we would survive. Bear could give orders but the club had to agree.

I picked up the food for Harlow and me and brought it back. I was more than a little relieved to see her emerge from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel and practically attacking me for the bags of food I carried.

“I’m glad you didn’t try to leave.”

“I did,” she said as she shoved the burger in her mouth. My heart sank.

“Well, yeah, I’d be an idiot to stay with you but then I remembered you had food.”

She was making me laugh. After all this fucked up shit, she was making me laugh.

“Okay, that takes a bit of the edge off.”

She took the bag and put it on the small table. Then she dug through her luggage for a change of clothes.

“No need for formal dining,” I said.

“I realize. But I can’t be serious about eating in a towel with you right there. Why don’t you take a shower and then we’ll eat together like two normalish people.”

“Okay, please don’t run away while I shower.”

“Not a chance. Food is my priority, and sleep, so go on.”

She shooed me and I had to admit she was right. I needed that hot shower like I needed food and sleep too.

I came out to find Harlow had put our food out on napkins. I sat at the table with her and dug in.

“The diner’s pretty damn good right?” I said between bites.

“Damn good is right. And you got me pie? That was a good call.”

“Thanks.”

We concentrated on eating, or inhaling rather, the food and made quick work of it.

“I think this might be the best food I’ve ever eaten.”

“You were wasting away, I’m glad to hear it.”

“Yeah, it had been what? Two days or something?”

“Jesus.”

“Sometimes, when I’m taking care of the dogs, I forget to eat.”

I watched her dig in and felt good, at least, that I could take care of her this way. I knew it was nothing compared to what I’d need to protect her from tomorrow. I wanted her trust, so I opened the door.

“Okay, so we’re sitting here and you have questions. Let’s get some of them answered.”

“Some of them?”

“I’ll do my best.” I didn’t know if I could still scare her away. Probably. My life was a scary story with dark places.

“Did you always know there were guns in my truck?”

“Not when I saw you in the diner, but when you drove away, yes, that’s when I knew you were the person I had to tale.”

“What’s your job?”

“I’m supposed to be silently making sure you get to Mexico with this truck, no incidents, no issues.”

“You suck at that so far.”

“Yes, yes I do.”

“Whose guns are in my truck?”

“Technically Devil’s Hawks, they were trying to sell them to people in Saint’s territory, Port Az.”

“So you stole them and hid them in my truck?”

“Well, I didn’t steal them or hide them, but my brothers did. They didn’t know you were the driver. Trust me on that. They thought you were some old fat ass.”

“Okay, your brothers, like actual brothers?”

“No, well, the same thing. My brothers in the MC. Closer than brothers.”

“I wasn’t supposed to know?”

“No, you weren’t, but the Hawks figured out we stole their guns a lot faster than we expected they would. We’re still not sure how. But if it had gone as we planned, we’d have been in Mexico long before they knew what hit them.”

“What’s in Mexico?”

“Well, for you, a new shipment of puppies, right? For The Dark Saints, the Mexican cartel who will pay big and keep them away from Port Az and the Hawks.”

“So you’re an MC and they’re an MC, what’s the fucking difference?”

“I think you’ve seen the difference. They’re out for themselves. We ride for each other and for Port Az. Big difference, I think. We’re getting those guns off our streets. They want them to do violence to the people in Port Az. And none of my brothers would do what they’ve tried to do to you over and over again.”

“Rape or kill me?”

I winced. That was the Hawks: they took in every evil psycho they could and Harlow had seen what that meant first hand. I was the only Dark Saint she’d seen, and I hoped the difference was obvious enough, but I was violent too, and probably scared the shit out of her.

“We don’t let shit heel homicidal maniacs in. Yeah, we have dangerous people but Hawks are fucking evil. And you’ve seen it.”

“I guess I have.”

“Now it’s your turn. Why are you doing what you’re doing? You’re beautiful and obviously smart and yet you’re working for next to nothing. You’re doing this weird little job.”

“Fuck off. I love my job.”

I knew there had to be more to it though.

“It’s not just a job for you, is it?” I put my hand over hers and she didn’t move away. I wanted her to know that I wasn’t going to keep things from her, and by the same token, I wanted her to open up to me. How did she really get here?

“This job is payback.”

“What do you mean?”

“My dad was an abusive asshole.” The idea that she grew up with pain or anything less than she deserved hurt my heart.

“I’m sorry.”

She looked away, almost like she saw something play out that wasn’t in the room.

“For years, he’d get shelter dogs for me, call them my new sister or brother. It didn’t take me long to get attached. I loved any kind of animal from bugs to puppies from as far back as I can remember.”

I didn’t interrupt or ask any questions. I didn’t want to her to stop.

“Then, he’d get drunk, or pissed, or just bored. One of his favorite things was to let me choose. Either my furry brother or sister would get the beating or get burned – or whatever other bullshit he devised – or I would.”

“Jesus.”

“Yes, he’d hold the animal hostage until I decided.”

She stopped talking for a second and tears welled up in her eyes.

“It’s okay,” I said and put my other hand out. If I could get my hands on her father, I’d fucking kill him.

“Many times, too many times, I was too afraid to take the punishment and I let him hurt the dogs. More times than I could count.”

She pulled her hands away and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.

“So you’re trying to make up for that?”

“Yes. My Dad knew I loved animals. I was born that way. He used it against me every day. And I wasn’t strong enough to stop it. I lost count of how many times I could have saved those babies but didn’t. Now I can try to make things right. Though I know, it will never make up for how weak I was.”

“You weren’t weak. You aren’t weak. You’re a survivor and now, well you’re more than that. I saw you put that fucker away when he had Tookie.”

Harlow’s fierce reaction was pretty easy to understand on the face of it when it happened. But now, hearing what she’d gone through as a kid, it made even more sense.

“If I ever get my hands on your Dad, I’d pay him back for you.”

I meant it too. What kind of monster does that to a little kid?

“Well, too late, he died in a car wreck.”

“When?”

“Right after my 18^th birthday. He left nothing but debts and abuse behind. I’ve been working on getting past both of those things ever since. You may have your club and your brothers, but I’m a loner. I understand animals way better than I do people. And saving them, finding them good homes, that’s my penance, one I’ll never be done with.”

“But you have nothing to do penance for. You were the victim.”

“I chose myself over them, to save myself. That’s the karma I’m trying to balance,” she explained. Harlow Hayes was on a mission that was bigger than homes for animals. She was trying to rewrite history.

“I’ve never met anyone with a soul like yours. Sweet, pure, and good. You’ve got nothing to balance. The fucking universe is better with you in it. Period.”

And I meant every word. Curse her fucking dad for messing her up. There were evil people in the world, too many, and nothing stopped them from being parents. That was the hell of it.

“I think I have a lot to balance. But you’re sweet to think I’m so great for the universe because now you know pretty much everything about me. The sad, lonely story. What don’t I know about you, Kade Davis?” Her eyes turned from focusing somewhere else, someplace else, to me, and our present situation.

I didn’t want to tell her. After the stuff she revealed about her Dad, how could I tell her I’d been violent, out of control, and I paid for it in prison?

How would she react? I decided that although we had started on a lie if I wanted her to stay with me, I had to tell her the truth. Now.

“I’m a convicted felon.”

She blinked but didn’t move away.

“What did you do?”

“I lost my shit in a fight. I beat a man near to death when I couldn’t control my shit.”

“Why?”

She had just told me her father was evil and violent and I was admitting that violence was my history and probably my future.

“It started as an insult to the Prez of my club. I have an overprotective nature and a quick fuse. Once I started punching, I didn’t stop. My brothers pulled me off but it was too late. I’d done a lot of damage and there were a lot of witnesses.”

“Your temper. That’s what you blame?”

“It wasn’t the first time I lost my shit. I always had a reason, but yeah, I have a problem. Or I did.”

“You did?”

“Free anger management counseling in the joint. They also have a workout facility. But the food sucks.”

I was trying to lighten the mood. My time in prison was serious and the reason was too. But I hoped she wasn’t even more afraid of me now. Though maybe she should be.

“I’ve seen you lose your shit.”

“Yes, yes you have. But it was a for a good cause, you remember?”

She was right. I lost it to protect her. I tried not to think about how it was the same as when I got my nose out of joint to protect Bear. Maybe I hadn’t changed as much as I thought.

“I guess so. Kade, what’s going to happen to me if the Hawks get me? I’m dead? Is that it?”

“They’re not going to get to you. I promise you that. We’re going to get this fucking job in Mexico done and my brothers, well, we’ll handle the Hawks. That’s what we do.”

“I’m scared.”

I didn’t tell her not to be. I wanted her to be afraid of the Hawks because they would fucking murder her if they had a chance to. I wanted her to do what I said so if it came to it she’d listen and be safe. I just hoped she didn’t have to encounter another Hawk. I hoped Bear was working on his end to smooth some shit out.

I hoped it but I wasn’t going to bet on it. I had to get these guns out of her truck and then I had to regroup. The Hawks had it out for the Saints, but they also now had it out for Harlow. We’d put her on a dangerous path.

“I’m here. Nothing’s going to happen. No one knows we’re at this motel. We need to get some sleep. It’s a short drive tomorrow but we have to be alert.” I reassured her as best as I could.

“Yep.”

I wasn’t sure she believed me but now that she had food in her, and some idea of what was happening, I saw her body insist on what she still needed. And that was rest.

“Come on.” I stood up helped her do the same. I ushered her over to the bed and watched her lay down. I grabbed the blankets and tucked them up high around her,

“You’re tucking me in?” she asked me and even as she said it she was half asleep.

“Yep, the difference between a Dark Saint and the rest of the MCs in the world. When we find a gorgeous but sleepy woman, we tuck her in. We don’t take advantage.”

I watched her close her eyes and a little smile played on her lips. She was slipping into sleep fast.

I looked out the motel peephole. Nothing was happening. It was quiet. Harlow’s breathing told me she was deeply asleep. It had only taken seconds. I hoped that it meant she felt safe.

And she was, with me, for a few hours at least. Who knew what tomorrow’s trip across the border would bring?