Harlow

I was having a nightmare. It was the same one. My Dad was squeezing Tookie; the puppy changed sometimes, but it was always the same dream.

I couldn’t do anything but watch as it happened. I tried to run but it was like my legs were in mud. I couldn’t get to Tookie, or Patches, or Rusty, or any of the animals he’d hurt. Then the face changed. It wasn’t my Dad; it was a Devil’s Hawk, Farkus.

I couldn’t wake myself. I knew it was a nightmare but I couldn’t stop it. My Dad was dead. Farkus was dead.

Then it happened. A powerful light burned away the scene and I could move. I felt a warm but solid presence at my back.

I was okay. I drifted back to sleep and if I dreamed the rest of the night, I didn’t recall it in the morning.

Kade was in bed next to me, behind me. I knew that. I sank into his body and slept. I slept better than I could ever recall.

Kade’s body shielded mine in my dream and on this too-small bed. I had a lot to analyze about what Kade had told me. What kind of life did he lead? Were violence and rage a part of being in an MC? Or was it true that he was different? Were the Saints and the Hawks really different from each other?

I moved the thoughts to the back of my mind. And I didn’t fully dissect our conversation; I couldn’t just yet. I needed rest and Kade helped me get it.

Kade had gone to sleep after me and he woke up before me. I turned over and he was standing at the window. The blinds were still drawn closed. He had jeans on and nothing else. They rode low on his hips and I could see the muscle and bone there. I let myself look, really look, at his body. It was a work of art. He had tats that I’d yet to ask about or explore. They started on his powerful shoulder and worked their way down his right arm.

His hair was so dark. I would have killed to have that thick, glossy mane; instead, I had a riot of curls that had a mind of their own. I wondered if the hair came from his Comanche side? I could picture Tahalina’s face when I looked at his. I watched second or two more and then I couldn’t hold back.

I crawled out of bed and padded over to him. He looked at me and I melted on the spot. His eyes were beautiful and studied me with softness, in contrast with his hard jaw. I noticed his jawline was cleaner than I’d seen it last night.

“You shaved?” I said and ran my cheek up against his jaw.

“I don’t like how it burned on your pretty skin,” Kade said and then pulled me into his arms.

“I’m not complaining.” And I wasn’t. I should be. I should be doing a million much smarter things than kissing Kade.

He ran his hand up the back of the loose t-shirt I’d slept in, and I felt him slide his rough palm across the skin of my back, and then up to my shoulder blades and back again. His gentle caress warmed my body and had me thinking of all the moments before when I’d let him take me, wanted him to take me.

“Your skin is perfect, soft, sweet,” he whispered and leaned down. His kiss was soft on my lips and he tasted like toothpaste and coffee. It was delicious. And then I realized it.

“Hey, coffee!” I broke away and looked at the table. He’d gotten us food again, and coffee. I had no idea that he’d left the room, showered, and come back while I’d slept like the dead. I opened the lid of the disposable coffee cup and inhaled.

“And eat a little. Now that I know you forget to do that, you’re doomed,” Kade instructed.

“You trying to fatten you up?”

“I’m trying to be sure you’re strong and healthy.” Kade walked over, grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his muscular chest. I sighed a little in regret. I wasn’t a woman who ogled men, but it was impossible not to appreciate Kade Davis in all his glory. I felt a warm blush on my cheeks when I remembered the two of us in my truck and outside my truck. Kade’s body had me losing my head.

We quickly packed up our stuff from the small motel room. I realized this was the only bed the two of us had been near and we hadn’t even made love on it. Since we’d got here, Kade had been treating me like I was fragile and might break. And maybe he was right. I needed the few hours of nourishment and rest. I was still confused about what my feelings for Kade really meant, and whether what we had was something to build on or something that would burn out.

I focused on the very short term. I knew I had animals to get in Mexico and Kade had guns to deliver. I didn’t know what would happen after that but I committed to that course of action at least. In my head, I knew I should run away, get somewhere that the Hawks or the Saints didn’t exist. In my heart, I wanted to stay with Kade. I wanted to fall asleep again with his strong body shielding mine.

So, it was onward to Mexico, but this time I was driving. This was my truck – well, Rudy’s anyway – and it was my job to get these new animals. I was going to try to pretend like the rest of it didn’t exist. The side windows were shot to hell but I cleaned up the rough edges. We’d drive with the open air. I wondered if I’d catch hell from Rudy about the truck. I wondered how Rudy could ever believe what had happened.

We gassed up, Kade checked his bike, and then we made our way to the highway.

It was less than an hour’s drive to the border crossing. It was a trip I’d made before without any apprehension or fear. But knowing what was in the back of my truck changed all that.

“Just do what you normally do. I’m here with you, that’s the only difference.”

“Yeah, right.” I was breaking the law, no question, but then I’d already done that with the Devil’s Hawk. It was self-defense – or rather puppy defense – but still. I’d been the one who struck out. I’d killed a man. I didn’t know it at the time, but then I should have reported it. I caved to Rudy’s advice to be quiet. Now I wondered what type of trouble I was in, maybe even with the law.

I’d traveled so far away from a safe and predictable course that forward seemed the only way to go right now. And there was Kade. He reassured me, guided me, and made me think there were only a few more hours of guns in my truck before I could try to piece my normal existence back together.

I kept my eyes on the road. Kade reached out and squeezed my leg. This is just another crossing, dammit. Part of me wished I was still in the dark about the guns.

We reached the border and I got out a passport, Kade did the same. There was a small line of cars headed into Mexico and we inched forward. It felt like the cab was getting warmer every second we stayed in the line, every foot we got closer to the border agents.

“Do it like you always do it, Harlow. It will be fine.” Kade slid back in his seat and acted like he was bored, or like he could just as easily take a nap. Meanwhile, my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

Quicker than I wanted, it was our turn.

“Passports?”

I produced mine and Kade turned his over as well. The border guard looked at us and our paperwork and I tried like hell to seem casual. It was my actual passport but I felt like a fraud: I was lying and I sucked at it.

“What are you hauling?”

They asked this question every time.

“I am empty back there right now. We’re picking up rescue animals.” I produced the letter I needed to prove that I was going to a kill shelter to pick up a dozen animals this time.

While the guard read the letter, another knocked on Kade’s side of the truck.

“We need you to drive over to the side please.” We were being pulled out of the line. What had I done to raise their suspicions? I put the truck in gear and followed their directives.

“We need you to step out of the vehicle and open the cab, please.”

“I’ll do it,” Kade said and I handed him the keys. I prayed he didn’t do anything stupid but I also was thankful that Kade was going back there, not me. I was half afraid I’d accidentally open something, trip over something, or spill my guts. There were guns back there; sure, hidden enough that I hadn’t even known they were there, but they were there.

I sat behind the wheel and took a few deep breaths. It felt like Kade and the guard was in the back forever. It was like being on top of a stick of dynamite.

Several minutes went by. I heard them talk, and then I felt the cab shake a little as they climbed into the truck and walked around.

And then Kade was back and handing me the keys.

“Thank you, Miss. Good work you’re doing for the animals,” the border guard said to me and I smiled.

“You’re welcome.” I put the car in gear and we moved forward, slowly. Kade didn’t say anything as the border crossing disappeared in my rearview mirror.

“You did great,” Kade finally said when we were well clear. He reached out a hand to rub my shoulder.

“I felt sick to my stomach the entire time.”

“They don’t have a single reason to suspect you, plus you look innocent,” Kade said and winked at me.

I thought that crossing the border would be the hard part and now that was over. I’d been afraid of saying something stupid, but we had done it.

While I relaxed a little, Kade seemed to tense up. I realized the real hard part was coming next.

“Here’s the thing, Harlow. I don’t want you anywhere near the drop off for these guns.”

“That’s going to be a little difficult, isn’t it?”

Kade was scanning again, behind us, ahead of us. It was like the first few hours when the Hawks were stalking us on the highway.

“About fifty-miles ahead there’s a safe house. You’re going to go to it and I’m going to take this delivery where it needs to be. Then I’ll come back to get you.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“Well, I thought I could do this with you. I thought I could be cool while I dropped these guns to Pilar but I can’t. Anything could go badly and you’d be in the line of fire. That’s not happening again while I’m in charge.”

“You’re not in charge. This is my truck, this is my run!”

I had the urge to stay with Kade. As protective as he said he was, I had the same urge for him. Usually, it was for animals, but this time it was him. I was scared but I also didn’t want him to face this alone. Where was his club, these Dark Saints? He was handling this all on his own and I didn’t want to let him.

“You did the part you needed to. You got us across, now let me do the part that you shouldn’t have a damn thing to do with.”

Kade was intense. The tender man who wanted to know about my past and shared some of his was gone. This man that sat next to me now was one I didn’t want to argue with.

And he was right. As much as I felt bonded to him, I didn’t want any part of the guns in the back of this truck or meeting a Mexican drug runner or the Devil’s Hawks.

“Okay, so where to?”

“We’re going pull off the highway a bit. The safe house is safe because it’s hard to get to.”

“Do we have time?”

“Yep, Pilar knows my schedule. We’re good.”

“Okay.”

Kade told me to turn off the highway and we began down a less-traveled road. I’d gone on this run to Mexico to the Playa De Carmen several times. I knew how to get to there but that was it. I followed Kade’s instructions turn by turn.

I started to relax a little. I wouldn’t have to try to keep my shit together while we dropped off illegal guns. It could happen without me and when it was over, I’d be on track again.

Or at least somewhat on track, to get my animals and bring them back to the Port Azreal and Ruff Life.

The last few days had muddied the waters of my life in a way I couldn’t sort out just yet, but one thing remained: I had animals to save. And I would do that. I could do that, as soon as my truck was my truck again.

“Turn here.” It was a private drive and it was clearly deserted.

“What is this place?”

“It’s a longtime friend of The Dark Saints, Rosario. This is a place I can come to rest, hide, or eat. Whatever I need.”

“This a girlfriend I’m about to meet?” Suddenly, I was a little jealous of this Rosario.

“No, not a girlfriend, but a surrogate mother to some of The Saints, to me too sometimes. She helps us out and we’ve done the same for her now and again. You’ll be safe here.”

I pulled the truck around to the side of the large ranch style home. I supposed there was a story, a history to Rosario and The Dark Saints but one that Kade didn’t have time to tell me. Kade walked me up to the front door and knocked.

A short few seconds later an older woman with salt and pepper coloring sprinkled in her dark hair came to the door.

“Ah, Kade!” A broad smile erupted on her face and she swung open the door. She looked a bit like Kade and I wondered again what the back story was.

“Aunt Rosario, this is my friend, Harlow.”

“Harlow, that’s a lovely name.”

She ushered us into her home and I felt immediately at ease.

“Thank you.”

“Sorry I didn’t warn you, it was better this way,” Kade said to his Aunt.

“I would have had food ready,” she replied and we walked down a hall to an expansive kitchen.

“I’m keeping this trip quiet.”

“As usual,” she added. I wondered how long I would be here. One thing was for sure: it was out of the way. That was a good thing.

“I’m going to run an errand. Can you keep an eye on Harlow here for me?”

“I don’t need babysitting.” I felt bad for imposing on this nice woman. Even though it was clear she’d been in this position for Kade or The Dark Saints before.

“How’s E.Z. doing?”

I had no idea who that was.

“As pissed off as ever.”

Rosario shook her head.

“Make yourself at home. I’m going to grab some ingredients from the pantry. Shame on you for surprising me but I won’t let Harlow here starve to death.”

Rosario walked down another hall shooting off the kitchen and left Kade and me alone.

“I feel strange, imposing on this woman.”

“This is how I want it. You don’t need to be anywhere near these guns again, okay? I’ll do the job and bring you back your truck. Then it’s on to get your animals.”

“Okay.” Kade kissed me. It was a goodbye kiss. I started to wonder how long of a goodbye it would be. I let him hold me and for a moment I squeezed him hard. I was worried about him and the job he was going to finish on his own.

Then the sound of engines cut through the quiet of the afternoon air on this remote Mexican ranch.

“Shit.” Kade’s demeanor changed. It signaled to me the sounds we were hearing were bringing something dangerous as hell.

The Devil’s Hawks.