Chapter 4

 

 

HUDSON ARRIVED at Dekatria a little earlier than the time indicated on his invite, as per Dex’s request. Destructive Delta was already there, save for Sergeant Maddock, who preferred intimate family get-togethers over boisterous parties filled with “boozed-up, karaoke-singing shenanigans.” Hudson couldn’t blame him. Maddock had, after all, raised Dex and Cael on his own. He deserved some peace and quiet.

As per usual, Destructive Delta had commandeered the entire second floor of Dekatria, and later in the evening, they would move up to the roof garden as well. Bradley was very generous, graciously closing the bar for their private events. Dex had tried to pay Bradley once, and very handsomely, but Bradley had refused to take his money, stating he didn’t need it. He much preferred the company.

Ethan smiled brightly when he saw Hudson and came over to pull him into a huge bearlike embrace, making Hudson chuckle. Ethan was an exceptional hugger.

“Hello, love.” Hudson pulled away, noticing Calvin was over by the bar with Dex, helping him pour snacks into giant colorful bowls. “How are things between you and Cal?”

Ethan beamed at him and put his thumbs up.

“I’m so glad.” Hudson cleared his throat, his face growing warm. “Is, um, your brother here?”

Ethan shook his head. He tapped his watch and put up both hands, fingers splayed.

“Ten minutes?”

Ethan nodded. He patted Hudson’s shoulder before Calvin called him over to help, warning him not to eat more than he put out, then handed Ethan a large bag of some unnaturally orange curled cheese snack. Hudson was tasked with moving the biscuit trays over to the long table at the end of the room, seeing as he was the least likely to eat what he was putting out. Silly buggers. Hudson pilfered a couple of chocolate-and-caramel biscuits when no one was looking. Ooh, the double chocolate biscuits with cherries looked heavenly! He took one of those too, as payment for services rendered. Did they think he’d work for free? He had a biscuit in each hand, and one between his teeth, when he turned and almost ran into someone.

“Shooz me,” he mumbled around a mouthful of chocolatey goodness. A low grumble of a chuckle stilled him, and he looked up, eyes going wide.

“Caught red-handed, Lobito.” Seb peered at him, amusement lighting his eyes. “Does Dex know he’s put the Cookie Monster in charge of his cookies?”

Hudson wrinkled his nose since he couldn’t scoff. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

“I think you need to back away from the table, Dr. Colbourn. Back away slowly,” Seb teased, taking hold of the chocolate biscuit poking out of Hudson’s mouth. Hudson refused to release it, a low growl rising from his throat. This was his tasty treat. Seb tugged at it, and Hudson narrowed his eyes. Was Seb seriously attempting to take a delicious morsel of food from him? He knew better.

Seb laughed. He snapped the biscuit, then popped it into his mouth. Hudson gasped around his remaining half of biscuit. The fiend! He cursed at Seb, who waggled his eyebrows as he chewed, then let out a decadent moan.

“That was so good.”

Hudson put his biscuits on the table and removed the one from his mouth to curse at Seb, but Seb snatched the remaining piece from his hand.

“Oh, you bastard!” Hudson made a grab for the biscuit, but Seb raised his arm high above his head. “You give me that back, you thief!”

“Technically, you thieved it first.”

Hudson latched on to Seb’s T-shirt with one hand to hold him in place, while stretching to reach his biscuit, except not even standing on his toes could he reach Seb’s palm.

“Why are you so blasted tall?” Hudson griped.

Laughing, Seb threw an arm around Hudson’s waist and tucked him at his side to make getting the biscuit even harder.

“I don’t know. Why are you so adorable?”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Hudson said with a huff as he pushed at Seb’s arm. “Give me my biscuit!”

“Your what?”

“Piss off, Sebastian. It’s a biscuit.”

“It’s a cookie, and there’s a whole tray of them,” Seb said, motioning to the table, as if he didn’t already know Hudson’s reply.

“None of them are my biscuit.” It was ridiculous, but wolf Therians were very particular about what was theirs, and they did not like having their food thieved. Anyone who attempted to take food from his plate did so at their own risk.

“It’s not like I borrowed one of your DVDs and never gave it back.”

Hudson gasped in horror. “Don’t joke about such things.”

Seb threw his head back and laughed. At that moment, Ethan walked by, plucked the biscuit from Seb’s fingers, and tossed it into his mouth. Seb and Hudson protested simultaneously.

“Hey!”

Ethan waved a hand cheerfully before returning to the bar.

Hudson pouted miserably. “He ate my biscuit.”

“Half of it,” Seb corrected, patting his stomach. “I ate the other half.”

Hudson folded his arms over his chest and glared up at Seb accusingly. “He gets that from you, you know. Bloody biscuit thieves, the lot of you.”

Seb laughed, releasing Hudson when he poked Seb’s side. He noticed Seb glance at the table where Hudson’s remaining biscuits sat. Seb’s grin turned wicked.

“Don’t even think about it,” Hudson warned, backing up against the table and placing his hands to his sides to cup his biscuits. “Get your own.”

Seb’s lips curled up, a sinful tug of his mouth that sent Hudson’s pulse racing. How was it possible the man grew even more beautiful with age? Several additional silver strands had appeared in his pitch-black hair in the years since they’d met, and a few more laugh lines joined the others at the corners of his eyes. He dressed in a stylish faded green T-shirt that made his eyes stand out even more and emphasized the expanse of his broad chest and shoulders before tapering down to his waist. His black jeans encased powerful thighs and legs, and what Hudson personally knew was an incredible arse. The heavy, black biker boots on Seb’s feet probably weighed more than Hudson. Seb exuded strength, yet his heart was capable of a gentleness that could bring Hudson to tears.

Seb stepped up to Hudson, widening his stance so he could get in closer, Hudson’s feet between Seb’s. Hudson could smell his shower gel—a fruity, minty concoction—mixed with his own masculine scent. Butterflies appeared in Hudson’s stomach, fluttering wildly as Seb took hold of Hudson’s right hand and tenderly pulled it away from the table, his eyes never leaving Hudson’s.

“Such a messy little wolf,” Seb purred, turning Hudson’s hand over. Hudson dropped his gaze to his now-chocolate-covered palm. Bugger. He’d melted the chocolate off his biscuit. Seb lifted Hudson’s hand, and Hudson’s breath hitched. He wouldn’t….

Seb smiled sweetly before running a finger across Hudson’s palm. He brought his finger to his mouth and closed his lips around his chocolaty digit before sucking on it. A tremor ran through Hudson, and a small whine escaped him before he could stop it. Seb chuckled. He winked at Hudson before walking away. Swallowing hard, Hudson quickly straightened, relieved no one had been paying them any attention. He grabbed a napkin and cleaned his palm before tossing the napkin in the trash bin at the end of the table. Inhaling deeply, he straightened his cardigan, then let his breath out slowly through his mouth. He was fine. He could do this.

Boisterous cheering and catcalling resounded from the stairs, and Hudson smiled as fellow agents from Unit Alpha arrived, all of whom Hudson knew. Dom and the rest of Seb’s team soon followed, along with Beta Ambush, including Trent Carson. Trent looked around the room and smiled at Hudson when he spotted him. Hudson returned his smile.

“Thank you, everyone, for coming tonight.”

Dex’s announcement caught the room’s attention, and everyone quieted, gathering around Dex and Sloane, who stood in front of the bar facing them.

“What’s going on?” Ash asked with a wicked grin. “Sloane knock you up already?”

“Ain’t you cute,” Dex drawled. “No. Next September, on the twenty-third, it’ll mark four years since Sloane and I first met. We’ve decided to make that our wedding day.”

The room erupted into cheers, and Hudson joined his friends as they rushed Dex and Sloane. When it was his turn, he gave Dex a big hug. He couldn’t help but get all teary-eyed. He was such a sucker when it came to weddings.

“I’m so happy for you both,” Hudson said as he pulled away. Dex wiped a tear from his eye before playfully punching him in the shoulder.

“Stop it. You’re going to shatter the illusion of what is otherwise an exceptionally cool and composed agent of awesomeness.”

Hudson gave him a sly grin. “This from the man who just the other day screamed like a small child over a spider.”

“Your memory seems to be failing you, Doctor. It wasn’t a spider. It was a hairy, eight-legged mutant beast out to steal my soul right before it sucked my brain out through my nose. It was undoubtedly a minion of that goat hell-beast that attacked me last week.”

Hudson looked to Cael for verification of this hell-beast.

“It was a pygmy goat, and it was adorable,” Cael said, laughing at his brother’s stricken expression.

“It tried to kill me!”

“Kill you, huh?” Cael pulled out his mobile, tapped the screen, then scrolled through his photos until he found what he was looking for. He handed his mobile to Hudson, who let out a bark of laughter. There stood Dex in full tactical gear, holding his tranq rifle, his expression one of horror as a tiny goat in a pink knitted jumper chewed on his shoelace.

Dex put a hand on his chest. “I can’t believe you took a picture of me in the midst of such a traumatizing experience.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Cael said, rolling his eyes.

Hudson returned Cael’s mobile before studying Dex. “Do you really have a goat phobia?”

“It’s not a phobia,” Cael informed him. “He just doesn’t like them.”

“No, not dislike.” Dex narrowed his eyes, his voice coming out low and gravelly. “Loathe. I loathe them.”

Cael shook his head. “You’re such a drama queen.”

Ash appeared at Cael’s side. He held his hand out to Dex. “Congratulations, man.”

“Are you… are you getting misty-eyed?” Dex peered at Ash, and Hudson tried his best not to laugh. Ash did look a little flushed, and his eyes were glassy.

“Screw you, Justice.” Ash turned away only to have Dex tug on his sleeve.

“Aw, come on, big guy. Bring it here.” Dex held his arms open wide, receiving a glare in response. “Dude, I’m entitled to two hugs from you in my lifetime. Now, and my wedding day, so suck it up like a big boy and bring it here.”

Ash hung his head in defeat. He shuffled over to Dex, who wrapped his arms tight around him and closed his eyes.

“Mm, yeah, just like that. So good.”

Ash pushed Dex away from him, ignoring his laughter. “You had to make it weird.”

“I think we all need to cut loose.” Dex clapped his hands together before declaring, “Shots all around!”

Everyone cheered, and Bradley began lining up shots at the bar. Dex grabbed Hudson’s arm. “That includes you, Doc.”

Hudson’s eyes went wide. “Oh, no. Dexter, no.” Unlike most of his brethren, Hudson could not hold his liquor. It was sad, really. Ash was always teasing him that he was a disappointment to Brits everywhere.

“Dexter, yes.” A wicked gleam came into Dex’s pale blue eyes, and he led Hudson over to the bar. Down the length of it was a row of colorful shots. “We’re celebrating my engagement, and we are going to get shitfaced.”

Ash gave Dex a hearty pat on the back that knocked him into Hudson. “Hurry up and pick your one shot that’ll get you shitfaced, and leave the rest for us grown-ups. That goes for you too, Doc. You’re as bad as he is.”

“Piss off,” Hudson muttered, his eyes narrowed at Ash.

“Ooh, look at that. The Doc can get snippy. Who’da thought? So you boys gonna drink something or just look at the pretty colors all night?”

Hudson and Dex exchanged glances before they picked up a shot glass in each hand. Hudson held his up.

“Cheers.”

A mischievous smile came onto Dex’s face as the blue of his eyes melted into amber. Absolutely fascinating. Equally interesting was the fact Dex was now on his fourth shot and didn’t appear the least bit fazed. Realization seemed to hit Ash, and with a low growl, he turned and punched Sloane in the arm.

“Hey, what the hell, man?” Sloane rubbed his arm with a frown. “This is my party. Why are you hitting me?”

Ash thrust a finger in Dex’s direction, and Hudson chuckled as Dex waggled his eyebrows and threw back another shot.

“That’s his sixth one, and he’s not shitfaced.” Ash poked Sloane in the shoulder. “That’s your doing.”

“Oh.” Sloane pursed his lips, looking thoughtful. “Did I forget to mention he can drink you under the table now?” Sloane laughed at Ash’s horrified expression before punching him in the arm. “That’s for hitting me.”

“Dick,” Ash grumbled.

Dex grabbed Hudson’s arm, turning him to give him another shot. He really shouldn’t, but it was a special occasion.

“Why not.” Hudson took the shot glass and tapped it against Dex’s before they threw back the burning liquid. Hudson was feeling wonderfully tipsy. He needed this. It was good to let go for a while. A pink shot glass materialized in his hand, and Hudson didn’t hesitate. He tossed it back as well. “Oh, goodness.” That tasted phenomenal! Like pink lemonade. Frankie Valli’s “Grease” burst from the speakers, and Dex grabbed Hudson’s arm.

“Come on. Time to boogie.”

“Dex, I appreciate the gesture, but it’s not necessary. I—” He caught Seb’s eyes on him then. Bloody hell, Seb was handsome. Hudson smiled, but Seb looked away, his attention seized first by Dom joining him at the table, then by a very pretty young man. Hudson recognized the agent.

West Delray was a king cheetah Therian who worked Recon for Theta Destructive. Not only was he a very rare classification of Therian, he was stunning. Petite, slender, with sandy-blond hair interspersed with black streaks, West possessed a heart-shaped face, a dazzling smile, and the golden-amber of his eyes stood out against the dark kohl around them. He looked more like a rock star than a THIRDS agent. The winning combination of good looks and cheeky personality made it so West had a steady stream of admirers vying for his attention, all eager to become the object of his affections.

Dom flexed his arm, and West laughed. He squeezed Dom’s bicep before turning to give Seb’s bicep a squeeze. He leaned in close to Seb to say something. Whatever it was, it made Seb laugh. Not a polite laugh, but a genuine laugh that reached his green eyes and formed little creases at the corners. What could West have to say that could possibly be so entertaining? Seeming to take Seb’s laughter as an invitation to join him, West grabbed an empty chair from the table behind him and placed it between Dom and Seb before dropping down into it. He looped his arm through Seb’s as he laughed with Cael. The two cheetah Therians had become good friends since Seb had taken over Theta Destructive. Hudson frowned. Why hadn’t Seb pulled his arm out of West’s hold?

Not that Hudson could fault West. Seb was ruggedly handsome, and despite his large size, muscular build, and lethal tiger Therian classification, he had a kind face and gentle eyes. He was a protector. A nurturer. It was no surprise Humans and Therians alike sought the comfort and safety his fierce tiger Therian frame offered. Cheetah Therians especially craved affection and possessed an inherent need to feel safe. They tended to gravitate toward those who could fill those needs, something not easily found in some larger Felid Therians.

“Hudson?”

Hudson gave a start. For a moment, he’d forgotten all about Dex. “Terribly sorry. You go ahead. I think I’ll have another one of those lovely shots.”

“Okay. See you on the dance floor.” Dex gave him a wink and headed off, dancing his way to Sloane.

“Hey, Doc.”

Turning, Hudson found Trent smiling brightly at him. “Oh, hello, Trent.”

“Listen, um, I was wondering if you’d dance with me?”

Hudson was going to politely decline when he heard West laughing and asking Seb to protect him. He turned in time to catch West all but climbing onto Seb’s lap in an attempt to avoid Dom’s playful assault. Instead of extricating West from his person, Seb simply laughed. He threw an arm around West’s back, catching him before West could topple out of his chair. Hudson’s inner wolf bristled as Seb pretended to drop him, making West flail and laugh. He threw his arms around Seb’s neck as Seb pulled him up.

The hell with it. Seb clearly wasn’t giving Hudson a second thought. Besides, they weren’t attached. Seb could flirt with West all he wanted, and Hudson could dance with the handsome Trent Carson. Time he stopped pining after Seb like a lovesick pup. Trent didn’t care Hudson was marked, and he was clearly interested in him. Why shouldn’t Hudson give the man a chance? He’d been telling himself for years that he should see other people. Perhaps it was time he stopped being such a coward.

Sod it. Hudson turned and took Trent’s hand. He smiled brightly.

“I would love to dance with you.”

 

 

“STOP POKING me,” West said through his laughter. “You’re so pokey.” He rolled and jumped to his feet. “Wanna dance?”

“Thanks, but I’m good.” Seb gave him another poke in his side just for good measure. He pulled his hand away before West could swat it. With a big smile, West grabbed Cael’s arm and tugged. “Come on, Chirpy. Let’s bust some moves.”

“Oh my God, you did not just call me that, you turd!”

“Ha!” West darted off with Cael on his heels.

“Those two are adorable,” Dom said with a chuckle.

Seb agreed. West was a great addition to the team. He’d originally been recruited by Intel for his IQ and talent, but unlike the rest of the agents who made up Unit Alpha’s Intel Department, West was not content to sit behind a desk. It went against his very cheetah Therian nature. West needed action. He needed to be out on the streets.

Putting in a transfer and pleading his case to Sparks herself had gotten West transferred to Recon for Theta Destructive. He and Cael hit it off right away after a callout placed them both behind the same security console in Destructive Delta’s BearCat. Dex had taken one look at the two excitedly “talking nerd,” as Dex put it, and officially adopted West, much to everyone’s amusement. Ash didn’t seem to mind that his boyfriend had found a new best friend.

Ash’s smile had Seb groaning. “West’s single, you know.”

“We’re just friends,” Seb assured him, then took a sip of his beer. Why was everyone always playing matchmaker? Was his love life in that bad a state that even Ash felt the need to get involved? Shit. It really was.

Dom let out an indelicate snort. “Yeah, I always sit in my friends’ laps.”

“He wasn’t sitting in my lap. Come on, man. He’s like Cael. He’s affectionate and very hands-on. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Ash shook his head. “Cael’s playful, but he doesn’t flop all over other guys. You can’t be that blind, bro.”

“Whatever, Keeler.”

“What? He’s a good guy, and he obviously likes you.”

“I like him too. As friends.” Cheers and catcalls caught Seb’s ear, and he moved his gaze to the source of the ruckus, his jaw muscles clenching. Beside him, Dom cursed under his breath, and Ash leaned in to Seb, his voice low.

“You maybe wanna reevaluate that?”

Trent Carson was wrapped around Hudson from behind, his front plastered to Hudson’s back as Trent all but dry-humped Hudson on the dance floor. Hudson had his fingers in Trent’s hair, his free hand over Trent’s where it rested on Hudson’s inner thigh. It was provocative, sinful, and boiled Seb’s blood. Not because Hudson was dancing like that with another guy—though he wasn’t over the moon about that either—but because Hudson was looking at Seb while he was doing it. Son of a bitch. Keeping an eye on Hudson was going to be the death of him. Mostly because he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off Hudson.

“Christ, man. Just watching you watching him is fucking torture. Why do you do this to yourself? I would have hightailed it outta here years ago. Transferred out of state or something.”

“Yeah, ’cause you did such a bang-up job staying away from Cael.” Seb met Hudson’s blue gaze, the slow smirk all the confirmation Seb needed. Hudson knew exactly what he was doing. Well, this was a new development.

“Completely different. I was the dick screwing things up. He was waiting for me. Hudson’s told you time and time again that it’s not happening.”

Seb couldn’t tear his gaze away from Hudson, or the way he moved his lean, sculpted body against Trent’s. “So what you’re saying is I should abandon my team, my family, my life, and then what? Start over?”

“I’m saying you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“On that we agree,” Dom muttered.

Right now he wasn’t doing anything to himself. Hudson was the one baiting him, and he didn’t appreciate it. Had it been anyone else, he might have given them a pass, but no one knew him like Hudson, and right now his ex-lover was using that knowledge to light a fire under his tail. What reaction was Hudson hoping for?

“Excuse me.” Seb stood, and Dom’s iron grip on his wrist made him pause.

“Come on, Seb. Just leave it.”

Seb turned to meet Dom’s hazel eyes, and the concern he found there. “You see what he’s doing, right?”

“Yeah, and it’s fucked-up, but you gotta keep your shit together. Not here. Not now.”

Ash nodded, his expression stern. “It’s Sloane’s engagement party, man.”

His friends were right. He let out a heavy sigh. This was a happy occasion. It would be shitty of him to drag his friends into his drama and ruin their evening.

“I won’t let it get out of hand. I promise.”

After some hesitation, Dom nodded and released him. “I’m here if you need me, okay?”

Seb patted Dom’s shoulder before he made his way over to the crowded dance floor. He stopped in front of Hudson, his voice just loud enough for Hudson to hear.

“I need to talk to you. In private.”

“Perhaps later, Sebastian,” Hudson cooed, his head falling back against Trent’s shoulder.

“Now,” Seb demanded, grabbing hold of Hudson’s wrist and jerking him away from Trent, who took hold of Hudson’s arm.

“Hey, what—”

“Back the fuck off,” Seb snarled, putting his hand to Trent’s chest, stopping him in his tracks. “This is your only warning.” Trent peered at Seb, his jaw muscles working. He released Hudson but didn’t move away.

Hudson chuckled. “Well, this is a bit of a pickle, isn’t it?” He put a hand to Seb’s chest. “Trent, you know Sebastian. He’s my old mate. I’m sure you’ve heard all about him. He’s something, isn’t he? So strong. The boys love him. Like a moth to a flame. Can you blame them? Look at him. Sebastian, I believe you know Trent.” Hudson moved his hand to Trent’s jaw. “He’s a very good dancer, and I suspect he’s very good at other things. We were getting to know each other.”

Christ almighty. Really?

“That’s enough.” Seb dragged Hudson along with him, ignoring his protests and his attempt to get out of Seb’s grip. The music was loud, and with so many people crushed together on the dance floor, no one paid them any attention. Their friends were too far away to know what was going on. Thankfully Trent didn’t follow Seb as he pushed Hudson through the door leading to the back of the club. Seb brought Hudson up against the wall, crowding him so he couldn’t walk away.

“What are you doing?”

Hudson pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, his eyes slightly wide. He poked his tongue out to lick his bottom lip.

Christ, how could one man have such an effect on him? Seb put a hand to his heart, the other against the wall to the side of Hudson’s head. “You’re killing me here, Lobito.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“No.”

Hudson eyed him. “No? What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I’m not going to stop calling you that.” Just like he’d never stop loving Hudson, or missing him, needing him, wanting him. He’d had enough of giving in to Hudson’s every whim simply because Hudson asked. It was what he’d always done, and look how well that turned out. Time to do things a little different.

Hudson blinked up at him. “But… I asked you not to.”

“Well, we don’t always get everything we want, do we, sweetheart?”

“Why are you being so difficult?”

“Why are you determined to drive me out of my fucking mind?” Seb growled.

“I’m doing no such thing.”

“Really? So you weren’t letting Trent dry-hump you to make me jealous?”

Hudson’s jaw dropped. “Of all the bloody cheek!” When he next spoke, it was through his teeth. “I was dancing.”

“And watching me.”

“Because you were watching me. Or do you think I can’t feel it when your eyes are on me?”

Seb grunted. “Hard not to when you’re making a spectacle of yourself.”

Hudson’s cheeks flushed a deep crimson, fire burning behind his eyes. “Piss off, Sebastian. I can dance with whomever I damn well please. What you choose to believe is your concern. How dare you judge me? Why don’t you go find West? He couldn’t keep his hands off you, and you obviously enjoyed it.” Hudson was indignant, a pain in the ass, and the most beautiful thing Seb had ever seen. Since when did Hudson get jealous? Not even when they’d been together had Hudson ever become jealous. If he had, Seb never saw it. Hudson was always calm and in control, rational and sensible.

Seb placed his fingers under Hudson’s chin and lifted his face so he could look into his eyes. “You’ve ruined me, you know. I can’t love anyone else.”

“You need to move on, Sebastian.”

“Then give me back the heart you stole from me.” Seb ran his thumb over Hudson’s bottom lip. “You’re a very beautiful thief. Stealing hearts, just to break them and leave them irreparable.”

“If West isn’t enough, I wouldn’t fret. There’s no shortage of cheetah Therians in Recon to fill your bed.”

“Jesus, the mouth on you,” Seb growled, feeling his anger rising. Hudson knew which buttons to push, and he was pushing them all mercilessly. “When are you going to grow up and stop being such a spoiled brat?”

Hudson gaped at him. “I beg your pardon?”

“You’re a spoiled rich boy used to getting everything he wants. Your parents, your brothers and sisters, they all bent over backward to make you happy, but you never were. The more they gave you, the more you rebelled. Their precious little Colbourn prince. That’s why you went out with me in the first place, wasn’t it? One last ‘fuck you’ to the old man just before he disowned you. That’s what your sister Evelyn told me when she had her husband’s lackey track me down. What a pleasant phone conversation that was, by the way. Oh, how disappointed Mummy and Daddy were when you took up with a poor American nobody. Then your big brother had me investigated. His telling your folks I lived in a car at one point with my mother, big brother, unemployed disabled father, and spaz little brother was a nice touch. That’s what George called Ethan, remember? A spaz.”

“Stop it! Why are you bringing this up now? And you bloody well know that wasn’t why I said yes to you.”

“The only one who didn’t put up with your bullshit, with your family’s bullshit, was Alfie, and where did that get him? Six feet under.”

The sting left behind by Hudson’s hand to Seb’s cheek was both startling and well deserved. What the hell was wrong with him? Seb drew in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“Is that why you brought me back here?” Hudson seethed, tears in his eyes. “To hurt me? I don’t need you to remind me why my brother’s dead, Sebastian. I know why he’s dead.”

“I didn’t mean that.”

“You did. You wanted to hurt me, and you have, in spectacular fashion. How could you? You know how much he meant to me. He was the only one who understood me. The only one who saw me. Before you, he was everything. He was all I had.” Hudson’s breath hitched, and Seb put his hand to Hudson’s cheek.

“You’re right. I was hurting, so I wanted to make you hurt. That was really shitty what I said. I’m so sorry. Please believe me.” He meant every word. It was a low blow. Next to Seb, Hudson loved no one more than his brother Alfie. The guilt ate away at Hudson to this day. “Forgive me,” Seb pleaded softly.

Hudson nodded, and he flattened his hands against the wall to his sides, his fingers splayed, as if the wall was the only thing holding him up. His eyes were hooded, his dilated pupils leaving only a sliver of pale blue rims. His lips were pink and slightly parted, his cheeks flushed, and hair tousled. Gingerly, Seb drew closer and slipped his leg between Hudson’s. Their bodies were almost pressed together, the heat coming off Hudson almost choking him. Hudson’s anger melted away, leaving him vulnerable and trembling in front of Seb. Hudson might make excuses, even lie, but his body would always betray him. All Seb had to do was nudge Hudson, the way he was doing with his knee against the bulge in Hudson’s slacks. The way he shivered almost undid Seb.

Seb placed his hand to Hudson’s cheek, his heart skipping a beat when Hudson closed his eyes and leaned into the touch ever so slightly. His skin was so soft and smooth. Images of them in bed flashed through Seb’s mind. Tangled limbs, the sound of soft laughter, and the beauty of Hudson’s face as Seb brought him to release. Making love to Hudson had been nothing short of a divine experience for Seb, a display of worship, of his undying adoration. Seb brushed his lips against Hudson’s temple, leaving a feathery kiss behind before turning his face. God, he smelled so damned good.

Hudson tentatively moved one hand onto Seb’s abdomen, drawing a quiet gasp from him. He thought Hudson might push him away, but instead Hudson slid his hand slowly up, his touch burning through Seb’s T-shirt.

Seb lowered his head, their faces so close he could feel Hudson’s breath on his skin. “You make me crazy,” Seb murmured, brushing his lips over Hudson’s in a butterfly kiss. Hudson parted his lips and angled his face up. He trailed his fingers down to Seb’s belt, tucking them between it and Seb’s skin, the touch scorching. Was he trying to keep Seb close? Seb leaned in for a kiss as Hudson moved his eyes to meet Seb’s. They were glazed, and the tip of his nose rosy. Seb realized he could have Hudson inside the utility closet with his pants around his ankles with very little persuasion. The alcohol would make sure of it. The idea sent a surge of anger through him. He slammed his fist against the wall, startling Hudson.

“I’m sorry,” Seb said gruffly, hating that he’d scared Hudson. He tore himself away and thundered out. Dex and Sloane were at the bar. Seb gave Dex a look of warning when Dex opened his mouth. “Hudson’s out back. Make sure he gets home. Alone.”

Dex didn’t ask questions or argue. He quickly headed off toward the back while Seb grabbed his leather jacket from the coatrack by the stairs. He wanted Hudson. Wanted him more than anything, but not like that. Not while he was shitfaced and his defenses were down. If Hudson wanted him, he could damn well do it while he was sober. The last thing either of them needed was more guilt. As it was, Seb couldn’t believe he’d dragged Alfie into this. He cursed himself for his stupidity, for lashing out at the man he loved more each day.

“Fuck.” He hurried out of Dekatria, into the cool night air, his heart aching. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. What happened to time healing all wounds? It was bullshit, that’s what it was. Seb clenched his fists at his sides as he walked. He needed to calm down. A horn blared, and Seb was jerked back as a car flew by. “Shit.” What the fuck was wrong with him? He’d walked right into the middle of the road.

“Dude, are you okay?” A guy jogged over. “If that guy hadn’t pulled you back….” He shook his head, and Seb raked his fingers through his hair, his heart beating in his ears. He looked around. Aside from the few pedestrians staring with either concern or like he was crazy, the sidewalk was empty.

“Did you see where he went?”

The guy looked around, scratching his head. “He was here like a second ago, and just… disappeared.”

Seb didn’t blame the guy for not sticking around. Probably thought Seb was some kind of nutcase. “Thanks,” Seb said, checking the street this time before crossing. At least someone was looking out for him. He needed to pull himself together and not rely on a guardian angel to save his sorry ass, or he might not be so lucky next time.

 

 

HUDSON SLID down the length of the wall, his heartache forming a lump in his throat.

Not a day went by that he didn’t think about or miss his brother. Alfie had only been a year older than Hudson, but he’d always been the big brother. He was the only one who looked out for Hudson, took care of him, taught him how to tie his shoes, how not to be scared of his Therian form. Alfie taught him how to be confident in who and what he was. They’d been two peas in a pod. When they were little, they pretended to be Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, searching for clues and chasing villains. As soon as they turned eighteen, they set off on real adventures, traipsing around Europe until their father’s lackeys brought them home. Years later, Alfie still teased Hudson, calling him Watson. Hudson had wanted to be Holmes, but Alfie refused, joking that if anyone was to end up dabbling in questionable substances, it would be him, while Hudson was more likely to end up the respectable doctor.

Their oldest brother, George, busied himself being the perfect heir, and although Theo had been kind, he was the second oldest, with a never-ending list of responsibilities that kept him away. Lewis and Evelyn spent their time going from one posh party to another. They were too concerned with their high-society friends, getting photographed with the right people, and adding to the Colbourn wealth to worry about their little brothers. Their mother, Emilia, spent her time managing Colbourn Cottage, a gothic-style manor built on twenty acres of land in Sevenoaks, Kent, where Hudson and his siblings had been born. It had a very modest seven bedrooms, five reception rooms, four bathrooms, a conservatory, tennis court, and swimming pool. The large staff, steady flow of visitors, and grand parties kept Colbourn Cottage in a constant flurry of activity. Hudson had never felt more alone than he did in his family home. His home had been Alfie, and one day his home was gone.

“Hudson?” Dex knelt beside him, a hand to his shoulder. “Hey, buddy. What happened?”

“It’s my fault he’s gone,” Hudson said quietly, his hands on his drawn-up knees.

“Who? Seb?”

Hudson shook his head. “Alfie.”

Dex sat down, his body pressed up against Hudson’s, offering comfort. Hudson’s inner wolf settled, feeling the warmth coming from his friend.

“Who’s Alfie?”

“My brother. You would have liked him.” Hudson couldn’t help his smile. “He was a cheeky bugger. Always up to some mischief. Quick-witted, so confident and smart. He was charming and handsome too. Wherever he went, he left a trail of admirers. Everyone wanted to be where he was.”

“Sounds like quite the guy.”

Hudson nodded, tears welling in his eyes once more. “We were inseparable.”

“Want to tell me about it?”

Hudson closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. It had been so long since he’d talked about Alfie. Seb was the only one who knew the truth. “I’m afraid you might think less of me.”

“Hey. You’re my friend. Nothing you say will change that. I know you, Hudson. You’re a good man. Whatever it is, you can tell me, but only if you want to.” Dex put his hand on Hudson’s arm, and Hudson opened his eyes. He rolled his head to look at Dex. The concern and affection in Dex’s bright blue eyes eased Hudson’s uncertainty.

Hudson pulled in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “My family comes from wealth. Old money passed down through generations. My great-grandfather was an earl or some such nonsense. I was never interested. Our name and wealth ensured my father never lost his place in society after he and my mother were infected with the virus. Unlike many, they embraced becoming Therian. My father used it to his advantage, boasting how his family had been gifted with an even greater strength. He’d always been an intimidating man, and after becoming Therian, no one dared speak against him.

“I’m the youngest, before me came Alfie, then Millie, Evelyn, Lewis, Theo, and George. All of us born wolf Therians. We became a pack, one my father sought to mold in his image. He wanted our family to become one of the most influential Therian families in England. He believes Therians are superior to Humans. How can they not be? He’s one of them after all.” Hudson shook his head in disgust. “My father, Dr. Felix Colbourn, was, and still is, a strict man, very set in his ways. No matter what we were, he had certain expectations for all his children, paths he’d chosen for all of us. There was no question of who would do what. Our entire lives were mapped out, from what schools we would attend, to what age we would marry, and who we would marry. Therian of course.”

Dex frowned. “That sounds… harsh.”

Hudson shrugged. “It was expected. My brothers and sisters fell into line, eager to please my parents and make them proud. They wanted the money and prestige. Alfie and I, we didn’t want our lives dictated. We couldn’t understand why it was so important to them. Everything had to be perfect. As the youngest, I was spoiled. Given everything I asked for. It was easier to placate me than spend the effort required to understand me. Whatever my siblings wanted, Alfie and I wanted the opposite, at times simply out of spite. We rebelled all through our youth. In our teens, we were always getting into trouble. We wanted to see how far we could push everyone.

“My father decided Alfie and I would pursue a career in cardiology, but from a young age, we’d been fascinated by forensic science, the way puzzle pieces are discovered and examined to form a bigger picture. We wanted to help those no longer capable of helping themselves, and perhaps bring peace to those left behind. The THIRDS caught our interest, and when I brought it up at dinner one evening, my father was absolutely livid.”

“Why? The THIRDS is an elite worldwide organization that does great things.”

“It’s, to quote my father, ‘a lowly position for men who desire power but are too poor to rise to much else.’ Plus the idea of having any of his children working toward equality when Humans were so very much beneath us was simply too appalling for words.”

Dex let out a scoff. “Charming.”

“Quite. The arguments were never-ending, growing worse every time. They usually resulted in Alfie and I storming out and going on the piss.”

“What’s that again?” Dex asked, pursing his lips in thought. “That’s different from taking the piss, right?”

“It means binge drinking.”

“Ah. Right.”

Hudson let out a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. He let his head hang as the familiar anguish washed over him.

“It was after we’d finished our residency. Evelyn was pregnant, and our family was throwing her a big bridal shower at a very grand seaside hotel in Cornwall. It was outdoors. Alfie and I decided we were going to tell our parents we’d applied to the THIRDS. It went as well as you can imagine. My father slapped me. Alfie and I got completely drunk off our arses. It was shambolic. Evelyn’s husband and my brothers confronted us, and when George pushed me, Alfie punched him. We took off, and they followed. They caught up to us round the back of the hotel near the overhang….” Hudson swallowed past the lump in his throat. A chill swept through him, and he shivered.

“George grabbed my arm, and I swung at him. I was so drunk I could barely see straight. Unbalanced. Alfie caught me before I fell and pushed me back, but he was nearly as drunk as I was. He lost his balance and stumbled back. I scrambled to my feet in time to watch him fall off the side of the cliff.”

Dex gasped, his hand tightening over Hudson’s arm, but Hudson barely felt it. He was numb, chilled to the bone. In front of him, he could see nothing but an expanse of dark ocean under a gray sky. The icy wind whipped at his tearstained face as he screamed, the sound drowned out by waves crashing against the cliff’s side.

“I was there the next evening when my family went to identify… him.” Hudson murmured, staring out into nothingness. “Quite frankly, everyone was astonished by the pristine state Alfie was in and how quickly he’d been found. Within minutes of calling emergency services. It was astounding, really.

“I won’t ever forget his face, so handsome, looking as if he was asleep. The medical examiner had been startled by the death. Alfie had somehow missed the rocks at the base of the cliff. He hit his head, but that wasn’t what killed him. The icy water, and the current… the shock… he never stood a chance. We’d been shown mercy, and Alfie had been washed up near the cliff’s edge, so he didn’t sink down to the bottom of the ocean. God knows when he would have resurfaced and in what condition. I wanted to touch him, assure myself it was really him on that table, that he was really… gone, but I couldn’t bring myself to move. I was frozen to the spot, afraid if I did, I would shatter.

“My family blamed me. If I hadn’t been so spoiled, if I’d listened, done as they asked…. The reasons were endless. When I was accepted to the THIRDS, a position suddenly opened up at HQ in Manhattan. I didn’t hesitate. I needed to leave. My father cut me off. I sold what was mine, bought a plane ticket to New York City, and never looked back.

“They tried contacting me. It seemed as if the phone calls would never cease. At first I thought perhaps they wanted me back, but all they did was tell me how foolish I was. How I would never amount to anything on my own in America. My brother hired an investigator to keep an eye on me, which is how he discovered my relationship with Seb. George told my father all about the Hobbs family. My father demanded I leave Seb, and I told him to go to hell. He disowned me that very day, and I haven’t spoken to him since.”

Dex cursed under his breath. He handed Hudson a napkin, and Hudson smiled as he took it. He blew his nose and frowned. “Seb is cross with me.”

“Why?”

Hudson explained, waiting for Dex to reassure him. Instead, Dex shook his head, his disapproval evident on his handsome face.

“You know I love you, man, but that was a dick move.”

Hudson frowned. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. “Oh?”

“You were trying to make him jealous.”

Hudson opened his mouth to refute the accusation, but Dex held up a hand to stop him.

“We both know Seb. He’s not the kind of guy to play games. From what you said, it sounds like you wanted his attention, he didn’t give it to you, and you got pissy. Trent was in the right place at the right time. You can’t get mad because Seb called you out on your behavior. You either want to be with him or you don’t, Hudson. You can’t push him away, and then when he does what you want him to, get mad.” Dex got up and held a hand out to him. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

Hudson nodded. “Perhaps a shower and cup of tea is in order.” He found it difficult to look Dex in the eye. “Forgive me. This is a happy occasion, and I’m being an arsehole.”

Dex threw an arm around Hudson as he led him out into Dekatria. “All is forgiven, and if you need anything, you call me, okay?”

Hudson nodded, allowing Dex to help him into his jacket before escorting him downstairs and outside. Dex called him a cab, made certain he was settled in the backseat, and instructed the driver where to take him. Hudson thanked Dex and let his head rest against the window so he could look out into the streets. He pulled his keys from his pocket so he’d have them ready when he got there. His head was fuzzy, and he dozed off before the cab driver roused him awake with a gentle shake to the shoulder.

“Oh, terribly sorry.” He thanked the man and made a mental note to treat Dex to lunch for paying his cab fare and tip. Outside his home, he was digging through his pockets for his keys when he felt odd. Like he was being watched. Peering down one end of the softly lit residential street, he found it empty. Same with the other end. It was most likely his alcohol-riddled brain. Where the hell were his keys? He groaned when he remembered he’d taken them out of his pocket. They’d most likely fallen somewhere in the cab. He turned, and a silver gleam caught his eyes.

“Thank bloody goodness.” They were right there on the pavement. He picked them up, frowning down at them. They must have fallen on his person somewhere, then onto the ground without him realizing. With a sigh, he headed for his front steps. The back of his eyes stung, and he turned to sit on his stoop. He gazed up at the sky, feeling miserable.

“I miss you,” he murmured.

His brother would have known what to do. He always did. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so alone. “How did I manage to lose two families, Alfie? That has to be some kind of record.” He shook his head before running a hand through his hair. “I suppose I should be grateful you’re not here to see how pathetic I’ve become. But then if you were here, I wouldn’t be so alone.” His mobile rang, and he tapped the screen before putting it to his ear. He hadn’t bothered looking at who it was.

“Hudson?”

The soft voice brought a smile to his face, and the ache in his chest eased. “Julia?”

“Hello, sweetheart. I hope you don’t mind me calling. I was making myself a cup of tea, and when I sat down on the couch to watch TV, one of the photo albums was there. I must have left it out when I was dusting the bookcase. Anyway, I went to return it to the shelf, and a photograph of you fell out. I missed your voice.”

Hudson swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I missed your voice too. I’m so glad you called.” Warmth spread through him, and he couldn’t help his smile as he stood to head inside, Julia’s sweet voice lifting his spirits. Her timing couldn’t have been more perfect, and as he walked into his house, he said a silent little thank-you to his brother, wherever he was.