Chapter 5

 

 

“DON’T LOOK at me like that.”

Hudson popped a couple of Tylenol into his mouth and took a long swig of his bottled water. Nina was giving him that look. The “I can’t believe you did that” look. Apparently his work day was going to be as shite as the pounding in his head, but then he should have suspected as much, considering he’d started his day with a particularly gruesome autopsy. It was soon followed by phone calls and e-mails from a number of Therian solicitors who all believed their case was the most important case in the history of New York City and specifically wanted him to testify in court as their expert witness, not to mention were under the illusion Hudson was their personal circus poodle ready to jump through hoops on their command, because really, how long could a DNA analysis take? And surely cause of death could be easily determined by simply staring at a body long enough, and how dare he declare that piece of evidence contaminated—it had only been trampled on by four HPF officers, minimum.

He was waiting on a toxicology report, a ballistic report, had two subpoenas to sign off on—pending an inquest he had yet to do—an in-box filled with inquiries from dozens of agents from Unit Alpha, and was scheduled for two court appearances this week, one involving a defense attorney who wouldn’t piss on Hudson if he were on fire, all because Hudson dared turn him down for a date. It wasn’t even lunchtime.

What he needed was another cup of tea and a bed he could crawl back into. What he didn’t need was a lecture from Nina. Last night he’d spent several hours catching up with Julia, and it had been wonderful, a ray of sunshine to his drab and cold existence. All right, that’s enough of that. He was done feeling sorry for himself. Too bad he wasn’t done with this blasted hangover. He’d been so swept up in his conversation with Julia, he’d forgotten to hydrate, and was paying dearly for it this morning.

“What were you thinking?”

Hudson groaned as he took a seat behind his desk. He glanced at his tablet and the blinking blue light denoting freshly arrived e-mails, then promptly turned it over. Last time he checked his in-box, he’d wanted to howl mournfully and curl up on himself. “I was thinking, ‘Here’s a good-looking bloke who wants to dance with me. I’m pissed. Why not?’”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Hudson cursed under his breath. “First Dex, now you. I don’t see what was so blasted terrible. Seb and I are not together, Nina.” He was clearly not going to get any work done until she said her piece.

“And who’s the one stopping that from happening?”

Hudson removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not having this conversation.”

“You never want to have this conversation.” Nina flopped down into the chair across from him.

“Because it’s none of your bloody business,” he snapped. “Not anymore.”

“That’s not true.” Her voice softened. “You’re my closest friend. You can’t pretend like the last ten years didn’t happen.”

Hudson scoffed.

“Don’t be petulant,” she ground out.

Hudson peered at her. “You lied to me, Nina. For months.”

“You know why I did. I said I was sorry, and I am.”

Hudson reclined back in his plush chair, his arms crossed. “Well, that’s not good enough.”

“What do you want from me? What more can I do to show you how sorry I am? Please, Hudson. You and him, you’re the most important men in my life. Don’t make me choose. I love him.”

Hudson stilled. He looked up at her and saw tears in her deep brown eyes. “You… really love him?”

“Yes.” She took his hand, a tear rolling down her flushed cheek. “It tore me up inside, not being able to tell you, but I never expected to…. I never thought I would fall for him. The more I got to know him, the more I realized what he put out there for everyone to see wasn’t the man he was. He needed me, Hudson. He was all alone, in so much pain, terrified. How could I turn my back on him?”

Hudson had never seen her like this. Nina was sweet, but she was also an incredibly strong woman, one who could have easily been out there in the field with any of Unit Alpha’s Defense agents, facing down threats. But she preferred the quiet of the lab, studying, dissecting, evaluating, investigating, reconstructing events, scenarios, causes of death. She was meticulous, and her sense of humor meshed perfectly with his. They kept each other and the other examiners from getting lost in the horrors they faced on the job. She was lighthearted, always smiling, laughing, playful, and the last person Hudson would have imagined could fall for a man like Rafe Hobbs.

“Do you love him or pity him?”

Nina’s glare was indignant. “I do not pity him. Do you pity Seb?”

“Seb and Rafe are nothing alike.”

“Really? You, me, the Hobbs family, we’re the only ones who know how much pain Seb endures every day just walking, because if he didn’t push through it, he’d have a permanent limp. He goes to physical therapy every week, and the only reason he doesn’t take the needed level of pain pills is because he wants to stay in the field and not have it affect his job. So he suffers through it.”

Hudson’s jaw clenched, but he remained silent.

“When he’d come to your office, almost on a daily basis, I teased you that you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other, but I’m not stupid, Hudson. You think I didn’t see his eyes when he left here? I pretended not to know the real reason he was in here was because with you he felt safe enough to cry his fucking eyes out because his body hurt so goddamned much.”

“That’s enough,” Hudson said quietly, the back of his eyes stinging. He didn’t need a reminder of the pain the man he loved suffered, or of how much Hudson wished he could take that pain from him.

Nina leaned forward, gripping his desk’s edge tightly. “What you feel right now is what I feel every time I see Rafe wince. It kills me that I can’t do more. All I can do is be there and show him how much I love him. I didn’t tell you because, as much as I adore you, Hudson, you can be spoiled and selfish sometimes.”

Hudson stared at her. “I beg your pardon?”

“You reacted like I thought you would. It’s all about you and how you feel. Rafe is going to end up like Thomas, and you’re upset I chose to protect him. He didn’t want to bring his family any more heartache. He didn’t want his brothers treating him different or patching things up just because they pitied him. I did what you would have done for Seb.”

“I—”

Nina put up her hand to stop him and stood. “Don’t. Don’t treat me like an idiot.”

“I would never,” he protested angrily, standing.

“Then don’t act like you’ve always told me everything. I’m not saying I needed to know everything, because I didn’t. What went on between you and Seb was none of my business. As long as you were happy, I was happy. But you always did things your way, no matter what anyone said. You listened, but you still went ahead and did whatever the hell you wanted. Always.”

“That’s bollocks. How can you say that?”

“Really? Can you name one time you argued with Seb where you didn’t get your way?”

Hudson frowned deeply. “There were plenty of times.”

“Like?”

“I can’t remember every disagreement we had. If he thought I was so bloody wrong, why did he give in?”

“Because he’s crazy about you! The man was so damn head over heels in love with you that he’d give in, even if he didn’t agree, just to make you happy. That’s not a sustainable relationship, Hudson, and I think deep down you know that.” Her gaze was unwavering as she leaned her hands on the desk. “That’s the real reason you won’t give him another chance, because if you fuck it up this time, that’s it. There’s no going back.”

Hudson’s temper flared, and he slammed his hands on the desk. “That’s enough! I don’t know where you’ve gotten that ridiculous notion, but it couldn’t be any further from the truth, and I am done explaining myself to you. I hope you and Rafe are bloody happy together, because you deserve each other.”

Nina flinched. She straightened to her full height. “I know you meant that as an insult, but it’s not to me. He’s a good man, who deserves to be loved. He treats me as his equal. We’re a partnership. He’s not a self-righteous asshole.”

Her words stung, and he opened his mouth for a rebuttal but instead only a choked sound escaped. His vision blurred, and he dropped down in his chair, turning away from her in the hopes of gaining some control over his emotions. He was so damn tired. This wasn’t like him at all. Last night at Dekatria, Seb’s words, hearing from Julia again, Alfie’s death replaying itself in his nightmares over and over…. He’d barely slept. It was all catching up to him. A soft touch to his cheek startled him, and he was taken aback to find Nina kneeling beside his chair, her beautiful face void of anger or disdain. She cupped his face, wiping a tear from his cheek with her thumb.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You’re right. Everything you said….” For years he’d been telling Seb what they’d had was broken, unfixable, and somewhere inside him he feared that had been the case, even before the incident that tore them apart. They loved each other fiercely, of that he had no doubt, but Nina was right. Hudson had always pushed, and Seb gave in. What a fool he was, believing he’d changed. That coming to the States would give him a new life, a different one, but he hadn’t changed at all. He and Seb had been happy, but how long would it have lasted with Hudson’s incessant need to push, to be right, to be so bloody perfect? And Seb gave in every time. Was that really what he wanted from Seb?

Tears clung to the thick black lashes of Nina’s hooded, almond-shaped eyes. How could Rafe’s heart not melt? She was beautiful inside and out, kind, and selfless, unlike Hudson. Nina never hesitated in putting someone else’s needs before her own. She wanted to take care of everyone. She deserved to be happy, and if she’d found that with Rafe, Hudson should be excited for her. Who the hell was he to judge? In fact he should be the last person to judge anyone’s relationship. God, when had he become such a mess?

“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I missed you.” Hudson sniffed, and his heart swelled when she threw her arms around his neck, squeezing the breath out of him. How could he have been so petty? So pigheaded? It hit him how terribly he’d missed her, missed them, their friendship. He’d been walking around with a Nina-shaped hole in his heart, wallowing in his own self-imposed misery, and he hadn’t even realized what an arse he was being.

“I love you,” Nina said between sniffs before kissing his cheek.

“I love you too.” He wiped at his face and smiled up at her when she stood. “Do you forgive me for being such a pillock?”

She chuckled and nodded, leaning against his desk, her delicate, long fingers gripping his hand firmly. “You know I do.” She worried her bottom lip, and he gave her hand a gentle tug.

“You can tell me.”

“How long are you two going to keep dancing around each other?”

It was a perfectly valid question. One Hudson didn’t know the answer to. Actually, he did. “I’m afraid to let him go, Nina, but I’m even more afraid of… of having him. You’re right. We were broken, and not just because of what happened. Even if we somehow moved past the guilt of that day, we can’t go back to how things were. We’d never last, and knowing it’s over for good would kill me. At least now I have hope. What will I have if things don’t work out? If neither of us has changed? I haven’t changed. You’ve said so yourself.” His heart ached, and the mark on the back of his shoulder blade burned. He’d spent so long refusing to think about what had been and what could never be that the very real possibility of not having Seb in his life terrified him. His inner wolf stirred, whining softly.

“It doesn’t mean things can’t change,” Nina suggested softly. “But you need to decide, Hudson. This can’t go on. He gets close, and you let him, only to push him away when you get scared.” She leaned in to cup his face. “Honey, you’re living half a life. You deserve more.”

Hudson nodded. What else could he say? More importantly, what could he do?

“Come on, I know something that will cheer you up.” She grabbed his hand, pulled him to his feet, and led him to the door.

“It’s all right, love. I—”

“Dex has leftover cookies from last night’s party.”

“Oh.” Hudson smiled. “Well, in that case, he really should share.” They strolled down the corridor arm in arm, and for the first time in months, he could breathe again. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

 

 

THE REST of the day had gone better than expected and was a vast improvement on his morning. After confiscating several of Dex’s biscuits—a result of Hudson and Nina making big puppy eyes at him—they returned to the lab with their tasty treats. They’d been rushed off their feet the rest of the day, but having Nina chatting and laughing with him again made all the difference.

Hudson was in high spirits, and it was still light out when he left work. He dropped by the market on his way home and picked up some vegetables and beef. The rest of the ingredients he needed, he had at home. He hadn’t made Cornish pasties in a while.

Thomas and his boys loved Hudson’s homemade pasties. Of course, when he used to make them, it was usually over at the Hobbs house, because the number of ingredients and pasties required to feed four tiger Therians was staggering and certainly not something he could do without help. Julia and Seb always pitched in, though Hudson spent a good portion of his time threatening the brothers with imminent bodily harm if they continued to eat his ingredients.

For now, he made enough for Thomas and a few extras in case one of the boys dropped by. His pasties were secured in a large insulated container he’d slipped into a sturdy rectangular carrier bag that he held on his lap as the cab headed for the Hobbs residence. The butterflies in his stomach fluttered wildly, and he took a deep breath when they arrived. Hudson paid the driver and thanked him before getting out with the large bag. It had been so long since he’d been here.

Fortifying his nerves, he walked up the pavement to the front steps. The door opened before he reached it, and Julia stood with her hand to her mouth and tears in her big hazel-green eyes. He reached the top step and smiled.

“Hello, Julia.” His voice cracked, but he managed to keep from bubbling like a baby. She took the bag he handed her, placed it on the table next to the door, then flung herself at Hudson. He caught her with a chuckle and held her as she squeezed him tight. When she pulled back, her wobbly smile made his chest hurt.

“Oh, sweetie, it’s so good to see you.” She cupped his face. “Just as handsome as the last time I saw you.”

Hudson swallowed hard. “I wanted to see you and Thomas. I brought him some pasties.”

“Julia, is that a crazy new air freshener, or do I smell Cornish pasties?”

Julia laughed. She stepped aside, and Hudson walked in, his heart squeezing at the way Thomas’s smile lit up his handsome face when he saw Hudson. It was hard not to get teary-eyed. His own father had never looked at him the way Thomas Hobbs did. As if nothing made him happier than seeing his son home, because to Thomas, Hudson had been another son. He liked to remind Hudson often, as if knowing Hudson needed to be reassured he was wanted.

Thomas drove his electric wheelchair forward and stopped in front of Hudson. He looked up at him, the same emerald-green eyes he’d gifted his sons bright with unshed tears.

“It’s good to see you, son.”

Hudson pressed his lips into a thin line to keep himself together, but that was made difficult when Thomas lifted the armrests of his electric wheelchair and held his arms out. Hudson didn’t hesitate. He crouched next to Thomas and threw his arms around him, burying his face against Thomas’s broad chest. Thomas’s arms were strong, and being hugged by him was like being enveloped in a protective bubble, like nothing could touch Hudson because Thomas was there to chase away the monsters lying in wait under his bed.

Thomas petted Hudson’s hair before releasing him, his smile wide when Hudson stood. He took Hudson’s hand and gave it a squeeze. His smile fell away.

“We wanted to come see you when you were in the hospital, but Seb…. He thought it would be best if we didn’t.”

Hudson nodded. He shoved his hands into his pockets, regret filling him. “He was right. It would have been too difficult. It was hard enough having him there.” Hudson cleared his throat. “He wouldn’t leave my side.”

Thomas nodded his understanding. “I expected no less of him. Thank you for saving his life. I don’t know what we would have done without either of you.”

Unable to stand the heartache in Thomas’s face, Hudson pointed to the bag behind him. “I made you my Cornish pasties.”

Thomas’s eyes sparkled, and he grinned like a little boy. He put the armrest with the controller down and moved to the table to take the bag and place it on his lap. With a deadpan expression, he met his wife’s gaze.

“If the boys ask, these were never here.”

Hudson laughed, watching as Thomas headed for the kitchen, calling out over his shoulder, “Especially Ethan. That boy eats more than the other two combined. I swear he has a black hole where his stomach should be.”

“He’s a growing boy,” Julia cooed, following Thomas into the expansive country-style kitchen. She took the bag from him and placed it on the island counter.

Thomas let out a snort. “Growing boy my butt. Darling, he’s thirty-six and almost as big as Seb.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged, lifting his face for a kiss, which his wife happily gave. Hudson all but melted, leaning against the counter and wondering how Julia and Thomas did it. They’d been through so much—losing everything, watching their boys have to work before they were of age, working through Ethan’s selective mutism and social anxiety, through Thomas’s condition. How had Julia and Thomas Hobbs survived all that and still looked at each other as if they were falling in love for the first time?

At the first crisis that hit them, Hudson and Seb had crumbled under the weight. Hudson cleared his throat, fidgeting from one foot to the other.

“How do you do that?” he asked softly. Propriety scolded him for being so intrusive and brash, but he was desperate to know.

They turned to him, Julia’s hand on Thomas’s shoulder and her expression tender.

“How do you forge ahead, never losing yourselves or the love you have for each other, after… everything?”

No question what Seb would look like when he got older—Seb and Ethan were both the spitting image of Thomas Hobbs. At sixty-five years old, Thomas was a handsome man, with a square jaw and green eyes that sparkled with life and mischief. His once-black hair was now salt-and-pepper, and although some of his leg muscles had deteriorated over the years due to his condition, he was still a tiger Therian, strong-bodied and strong-willed. Much like Ethan refused to allow his condition to define him, Thomas refused to be defined by his Therian Acheron Syndrome. Life had never been easy for the Hobbs family, but they endured, always together.

“Son, love is a precious gift, but love alone isn’t enough to weather the storms in life. You know as well as I do that life can be hard, messy, infuriating, terrifying, and unfair, and love will certainly help ease the pain,” Thomas said, taking Julia’s hand in his. “But unless you use that love as a foundation to build on, you’ll get swept away in the maelstrom.”

Hudson nodded his understanding. He smiled warmly at Thomas before motioning to the Cornish pasties. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

Julia placed several pasties on a plate and handed them to Thomas with a kiss. Thomas thanked Hudson for the pasties, then declared he’d be upstairs watching his favorite TV show and instructed Julia on hiding the remaining pasties. Then he looked up at Hudson with those big green eyes filled with hope.

“Stay for dinner?”

Hudson caved so quickly it was pitiful. “Of course.”

With a wink, Thomas took his plate of pasties and was off.

Hudson turned to Julia, arching an eyebrow at her. “Oh, he’s good.”

“Honey, that look is how we ended up with three boys. By the time Ethan was born, I made sure I was immune to it.”

Hudson waggled his eyebrows. “Not completely immune, I’m sure.”

Julia gasped and playfully swatted his arm with a laugh. “Hush, you.” She pointed to one of the chairs at the large oak dinner table. “Sit your pretty little butt down. We have a lot of catching up to do. Tea?”

“Yes, thank you.” Hudson took a seat, watching as Julia moved around the kitchen. Everything looked just how it did the last time he was here. He loved her kitchen. It was the biggest, warmest part of the large brownstone, with varnished wooden floors, white cupboards, silver-marble countertops, and state-of-the-art stainless-steel appliances. The Hobbs boys spared no expense where their family home was concerned. They might have moved out years ago, but this was still home. Even Thomas’s electric wheelchair was high-end. Thomas had been reluctant at first, especially when he discovered how much it cost, but his sons refused to budge. If Thomas was going to be in a wheelchair, his boys were going to make damned sure it was the best out there.

The large brownstone had cost a mint. Seb and Rafe made the purchase after joining the THIRDS, and once Ethan had joined the organization, he chipped in to help his brothers. By the time Rafe had made it to Team Leader, the house was paid off. Thomas struggled with his pride for some time after having gone from being the sole breadwinner to having his sons take care of everything. With his family’s help, Thomas learned that depending on a family who loved him and wanted to help didn’t make him weak. Years later, with Therian aid, social security, and the support of their boys, Julia and Thomas lived comfortably without the fear of losing their home a second time.

The kettle boiled as a classic tune floated up from the digital radio on the counter. Hudson smiled, recalling a time when he’d spent hours at this very table in this same seat with Julia talking and laughing. Often Darla Summers would join them. That reminded him.

“How’s Darla? I asked Cal about her this afternoon, and he just grunted that she was fine.”

Julia chuckled as she placed Hudson’s cup of tea in front of him. It was exactly the way he liked it. With a wicked smile that told Hudson some juicy gossip was forthcoming, Julia took a seat across from him with her own tea.

“Oh, honey, Darla’s got herself a new man.”

Hudson almost choked on his tea. He dabbed his mouth with a napkin Julia passed him before gaping at her. He leaned in. “When was this?”

“About three months now. Darla’s crazy about him. He’s a bear Therian. Used to coach college football. He’s retired now. You should see the way he looks at her.”

“And how does Cal look at him?” Hudson took a sip of his tea. As if he didn’t know the answer.

“Like he wants to put him on the first ship heading into the Bermuda Triangle.”

They both laughed. It was hard not to picture Calvin’s face glaring daggers at his mother’s new beau. Calvin was as protective of Darla as he was of Ethan. Hudson couldn’t blame him. Darla was the only family Calvin had next to the Hobbs clan. It had been just the two of them for so long, making one sacrifice after another, trying their hardest to be a family, to make ends meet and survive.

“Cal’s such a good boy. You know he wants her to be happy, so he’s trying very hard, but trust doesn’t come easy to him. He might be a grown man, but deep down, where Darla is concerned, he’s still a little boy afraid of seeing his mother get hurt again. After what that bastard father of his did to them, who can blame him?”

Hudson nodded. “I wouldn’t worry, love. If Cal catches so much as a hint that Darla is in distress, he will put the fear of God in that man, bear Therian or not. Cal’s small, but he can be intimidating as hell.”

“Are you kidding?” Julia leaned in and tapped her nail against the table. “If anyone lays a finger on Darla, my boys will be over there so fast the man won’t know what hit him. Well, he will. It’ll likely be Seb’s fist. My boys know violence isn’t the answer, especially with them being tiger Therians, but you push their buttons, and you deserve what you get. Seb has no tolerance for abuse of any kind, and you know how protective he is of his family.”

Hudson took another sip of his tea. Boy, did he know it. They continued to chat and gossip, drinking copious amounts of tea and then nibbling on biscuits Julia put on the table.

“I’m so glad you came by,” Julia said, smiling warmly. She placed a hand on his. “I missed this.”

“I missed you,” Hudson admitted. He took his teacup to the sink and rinsed it off when “Shake Your Groove Thing” by Peaches & Herb came on the radio. Julia had told him stories of when she and Thomas dated, how much they loved to get their groove on at the discos. She’d shared pictures with Hudson, images of a twentysomething couple in love, Julia looking fabulous with her Farrah Fawcett hair and bell-bottom jeans, and Thomas with his skintight T-shirt, his feathery hair reaching his ears. They made a stunning couple. Hudson quickly dried his hands on the dish towel before rounding the counter. He took Julia’s hand, walked her away from the table, then twirled her, loving the sound of her laughter.

“I haven’t danced to this in years.” Julia’s smile was radiant. She was a beautiful woman who hadn’t lost her glow despite the trials and tribulations she’d faced over the years. Hudson clapped his hands in time to the music, bumping his hips into hers. She threw her arms in the air, dancing her way back to Hudson to bump her hips to his. Hudson laughed, giving it all he had as he shimmied around the kitchen before ending in front of her again. She took his hands and turned him, right into something hard.

Hudson gave a start. “Good Lord.” He put a hand to his chest and let out a shaky laugh. “For heaven’s sake, Sebastian. You scared the life out of me.” Blasted Felids and their stalking.

Seb chuckled, little wrinkles forming at the corners of his eyes. “Don’t stop on my account. Has Mom shown you her funky chicken yet?”

Julia giggled as she danced over to Seb. She pulled him into the kitchen, and he laughed, shaking his head. “Whatever dance genes you and Dad have were not passed down to me. You both know this.”

“Nonsense.” She pulled him up to the left of her and held out her other hand to Hudson, who didn’t hesitate in taking it, allowing her to pull him to her right. “Come on, boys. Just like I taught you.”

They lined up and did the hustle, stepping forward and back in unison. They clapped before pulling a John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, followed by the roll. Hudson couldn’t believe he remembered. Julia had taught him and Seb several moves for a disco-themed wedding they’d attended years ago. Hudson laughed as they started again, keeping in time with the music.

The first time he’d seen Seb dance, he’d been amazed by the fluidity of his movements. He’d been a little surprised, and a hell of a lot turned on. Tiger Therians were large, bulky, and muscular, but Seb was far better at controlling his body than he gave himself credit for. As for dancing, all he had to do was observe and follow along. He picked up the steps quickly, then adjusted them to fit his frame. The movement of Seb’s hips gave Hudson terribly naughty thoughts.

Soon Thomas wandered downstairs to see what the commotion was all about. Julia shimmied to him, and he laughed, the adoration in his eyes unmistakable. She danced around him, and he joined in, clapping along, doing the roll and pointing. Julia murmured something at him, and he grabbed her by the waist. She let out a girlish squeal as he pulled her onto his lap. He whispered in her ear, and she blushed, batting him playfully.

Seb took Hudson’s hand and twirled him before dipping him, making him laugh.

“Don’t you dare let me go.” Hudson was going for serious reprimand, but it was cancelled out by the half laugh, half yelp he let out when Seb pretended to drop him. “Sebastian!” Hudson clutched at him, unable to help his giggles. Good Lord, he was giggling. Fine, so he could see why West had reacted the way he had. It was hard not to when Sebastian Hobbs was holding you in his strong arms. His roguish smile should be considered a lethal weapon.

“Never, Lobito,” Seb promised, his voice low and husky as he brought Hudson back up.

Realization of what he’d said and Seb’s reply had Hudson’s cheeks growing warm. He pretended nothing had happened.

“Son, could you bring the laundry up for your mom?” Thomas asked, his arms around Julia as he kissed her cheek.

“Sure thing.” Seb kissed the top of her head before giving his dad a hug. “You two behave yourselves. We have company.”

Julia batted her lashes innocently. “Us? We’re not the reason the basement had to be soundproofed.” She and Thomas both turned their knowing gazes to Hudson.

Hudson gasped, his face going up in flames. “Oh my God!”

Thomas grinned. “Yeah, we heard a lot of that coming from downstairs.”

“Oh my God!” Hudson clamped a hand over his mouth, mortified. The two broke into laughs and giggles while Seb was of no help at all, cackling his head off. Hudson smacked Seb’s arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Ouch! I didn’t want you to feel embarrassed.”

“Well, that was a failure of epic proportions. I’m going to strangle you!”

Seb took off around the counter and out of the kitchen with Hudson darting after him.

“Get back here so I can wring your neck!”

“You want me to kneel so you can reach it?”

“Oh! You… you scoundrel!” Hudson chased him across the living room to the door leading down to the basement/game room. Downstairs, Seb ran around the pool table, putting it between him and Hudson. “You told me it was soundproofed so the sound system wouldn’t disturb Thomas.”

“True, but mostly it’s because everyone could hear you….” Seb let out a low, guttural moan that went straight to Hudson’s cock. Seb gripped the edge of the pool table, his face an expression of pained ecstasy. “Oh God, Seb, yes, please, oh God, yes, right there, do it again, love.”

Hudson gaped at him, his face all but ready to spontaneously combust. “That’s not….” He sputtered, trying to find the right words. “Your accent is terrible,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Seb laughed, rounding the pool table to pull Hudson close. Hudson growled but allowed himself to be pulled into Seb’s embrace. Seb kissed his cheek, his breath tickling Hudson’s ear when he spoke.

“You made the most beautiful noises when you were under me.”

Hudson cleared his throat and pointed off behind him. “You should, um, see to the laundry.” He ignored Seb’s chuckle, following him to the large cupboard set in the wall housing the washer and tumble dryer.

Hudson knew this room well. How many hours had he spent down here with Seb, playing games, laughing, making out like a couple of teenagers, and apparently treating the whole of the household to the sound of live porn?

When Thomas was having a rough week or needed extra care, Seb and Hudson would stay at the house to help Julia and offer support. He and Seb would play table tennis, snuggle together to watch a movie, or just lie together on the incredibly comfortable L-shaped couch, murmuring tender endearments while drifting off to pleasant dreams.

The Hobbs brothers had fixed up the basement not long after Ethan started at the THIRDS. It had quickly become a favorite, filled with high-tech gadgets, a pool table, an air hockey table, dartboard and darts, a big-screen TV, Blu-ray player, sound system, a bar, several video game consoles, and a couch Hudson wanted to live in. It was plush perfection. The boys had a chairlift installed so Thomas could join them during get-togethers or when he just fancied using the room.

Hudson leaned against the wall as Seb opened the tumble dryer, his shirtsleeves stretching over his biceps when he reached in to remove clothes and place them in an empty laundry basket.

“Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it. It made them both so happy,” Seb said, his smile bright as he filled the basket.

Hudson swallowed past the lump in his throat and turned his gaze to the room. He hadn’t expected this house to still feel like home after all this time. “I missed them,” he admitted.

Julia and Thomas had been the parents he never had, which was a sad statement considering his own parents were alive and well. So much of Julia and Thomas’s behavior had baffled him at first. When one of the boys broke something by accident, Julia would wave it off, her only concern that they hadn’t hurt themselves. No reprimands or talk of how much something cost were forthcoming. Julia never told Ethan he was clumsy or Seb that he should pay more attention to what he was doing.

The first time Julia hugged Hudson and kissed his cheek, Hudson had frozen to the spot. When Seb asked him what was wrong, Hudson whispered that his parents never hugged or kissed him. Seb had been shocked, then saddened. Hudson hadn’t understood the reaction. He could hardly miss something he never had. Seb asked Hudson if he was okay with it, and Hudson nodded. It would take some getting used to, but it was nice. It was nice how Thomas patted him on the back, a smile on his face as he wheeled by just because he was happy Hudson was there. It wasn’t that Hudson’s parents didn’t love him, because they did, in their own way. They simply never showed affection. It wasn’t who they were. Love was shown in other ways, usually involving money or boasting of achievements to other prominent figures.

“Lobito? You okay?”

“I didn’t think it would feel like this. Like I never left,” Hudson replied, sighing before he could stop himself. So many happy memories in this room, a safe den filled with love and laughter. In this room, Hudson had dreamed of one day being married to Sebastian Hobbs, of being husband to a man who was everything Hudson had ever wanted.

“I know.”

Seb’s soft-spoken admission snapped Hudson from his thoughts, and he dared to look at Seb, surprised by the love in his stunning green eyes. Why did the man have to be so beautiful, so warm, kind, and damned patient?

“We had a lot of firsts down here.” Seb pointed in the direction of the TV. “That’s where you kicked my ass at Mario Kart for the first time.” He moved his finger to the air hockey table. “That’s where you kicked my ass at air hockey.” When he moved his finger again, Hudson chuckled. “That’s where you kicked my ass at table tennis. What kind of nerd are you? You’re not supposed to beat the jock at sports.”

Hudson shrugged. “I was always rather good at sports.”

Seb pointed to the pool table. “At least I kicked your butt at pool.”

“Only because you cheated,” Hudson reminded him, arching an eyebrow.

Seb gasped, a hand going to his chest. “Me? Cheat?” He shook his head. “I won that game fair and square.”

“Pardon? Fair my arse.” Hudson walked over to the pool table to stand at the end of it. He leaned in to tap a spot on the table. “Right here. I remember quite clearly. I was one perfect shot away from obliterating you, and you—”

Seb stepped up behind him and placed his hands to Hudson’s hips, his groin all but pressed up to Hudson’s arse. The power of speech eluded Hudson.

“That’s right,” Seb said, his voice a husky drawl, folding himself over Hudson’s back, his warm breath against Hudson’s temple. “I remember now. You were bent over, ready to take the shot, and I came up behind you just like this, and you hit the ball so hard it flew off the table and made a big dent in the wall.”

Hudson swallowed hard. Slowly he drew himself up, Seb following his movement, and Hudson’s body ended up pressed against Seb’s. A shiver racked through Hudson, and he closed his eyes. Being in Seb’s arms brought a flood of want through him.

How many nights had he spent awake in bed, yearning for the man, wishing Seb was at his side, holding him, kissing him? How long would they be paying for their sins? Had it even been a sin? It was a tragedy, one Hudson wished with all his heart hadn’t occurred, but he’d sacrificed his mate, his happiness, the other half of him in penance. Almost seven years. Seven years barely living, going through the motions, attempting to have a semblance of a life, pretending he wasn’t dying a little inside with every passing day. Maybe if they hadn’t bonded, if Seb hadn’t reached into Hudson’s soul and claimed it as his own, then maybe Hudson could have moved on, but simply being around Seb, seeing his smile, had been enough to hold him over, to keep him hoping that one day things would be different. Yet no matter the pain, not once did Hudson regret falling in love with Seb or being marked by him.

Seb gently turned Hudson to face him, their lives together reflected in his captivating eyes. Hudson put his fingers to Seb’s jaw and the permanent stubble Hudson loved to feel against his bare skin. Seb had a strong nose, square jaw, and thick black eyebrows. His eyes were hooded, and his smile crooked. When he laughed, really laughed, a dimple appeared, and he put his heart into his laughter, filling with glee like a little boy. At seven feet tall and three hundred pounds, built of solid muscle, with a fierce tiger Therian lurking inside him, Sebastian Hobbs should have been frightening, and for some he was. Hudson had never felt safer than he did in Seb’s embrace. He’d never felt more loved or cherished.

“I don’t come down here so much anymore,” Seb murmured, his hands still on Hudson’s waist. His voice was gravelly, a sexy roll of sounds that formed words and promises of worship, and that’s what it felt like to be loved by Sebastian Hobbs. Seb didn’t love halfheartedly. He didn’t hold back or hide a part of himself. He bared his soul, left himself vulnerable to those given the gift of his love.

“Why?”

Seb put his hand to Hudson’s cheek, his thumb stroking softly. “Hurts too much.”

Hudson gingerly put his hands on Seb’s chest, splaying his fingers over the hard pectoral muscles beneath the fabric of Seb’s cotton T-shirt. His mind was awash with memories of Seb’s sculpted body over Hudson’s, pressing him down into the mattress, strong hands caressing Hudson’s neck, Hudson’s legs wrapped around powerful thighs beneath a perfect arse. Hudson’s pleasure was paramount to Seb. He always thought of Hudson before himself, and Hudson had accepted. Nina was right. He’d been selfish, always taking what he needed from Seb, believing he gave enough, that Seb had everything he needed from Hudson, but how could he have everything when Hudson held so much back?

“I’m sorry,” Hudson said, the words caught in his throat. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“For the other night at Dekatria.” For not appreciating you like I should have.

Seb shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“No. What I did was shameful. Seeking your attention like some scorned juvenile.” Pushing Seb away only to get upset when the man did as asked. It was deplorable.

Seb blinked at him. “You wanted my attention?”

Hudson hesitated before nodding, his cheeks burning when Seb lifted Hudson’s face so their eyes could meet. Seb’s voice when he spoke was low and throaty.

“Baby, you always have my attention. Always. There’s never a time when you don’t have it, even when you’re not around.”

Hudson sighed heavily. “Why do you have to be so blasted wonderful?”

“I think Dom would call me something else,” Seb said with a chuckle.

“You never did know what to do with compliments.” Hudson inhaled Seb’s scent, a mixture of heady male, shower gel, and aftershave. He smelled so damned good it almost had Hudson whimpering. It was unfair. Seb was more than a temptation; he was a walking wet dream of sensual tastes and touches, which Hudson had been blessed to experience.

“Not when they come from you.”

Hudson studied him. “What do you mean?”

Seb covered Hudson’s hands with his, his gaze never faltering. “Because I know you. I know when you’re just being polite and when you’re speaking from your heart. Knowing what you think of me, having you look at me the way you do… it’s breathtaking.” Slowly he bent his head forward, and Hudson dropped his eyes to Seb’s full lips. He remembered how soft they were, how good they tasted. Seb’s tongue exploring his mouth, his body thrumming with desire, radiating heat all because of Hudson. His trousers grew tight, and Hudson closed his hands into fists against Seb’s chest. He’d never wanted anything so badly.

Hudson’s eyes drifted closed as Seb’s lips brushed over his in a feathery kiss, and Hudson gasped, feeling as though his heart had been electroshocked, beating with life after years of dormancy. Seb dropped his hands, his smile sheepish as he began to pull away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

Panic struck Hudson. He grabbed the back of Seb’s neck, and fisted his other hand in Seb’s T-shirt as he stood on his toes to press his lips to Seb’s. Seb’s sharp intake of breath left him open to Hudson’s tongue, and he dove in without hesitation, kissing Seb as if Seb were the only source of breath in Hudson’s body. If he didn’t kiss Seb, didn’t taste him, feel Seb’s tongue entwined with his own, he would break. He was so weary of dreaming, yearning for his mate’s touch. It was time he did something about it.