MASON

I paced in the living room, my bare feet creaking across the hardwood floor. Every few minutes I’d look up at the ceiling and wonder if she was sleeping, if she was suffering.

One more lick.

I could heal her completely.

It would cost me everything to make her well.

And I had never been in the business of licking a vampire whose idea of foreplay included sucking on my arteries.

My body jerked to attention.

Damn it.

I was wolf.

And yet the idea of her lips pressed against my pulse, the feel of my teeth digging into her flesh had such a dizzying effect on my equilibrium I tripped over the carpet and nearly faceplanted against the black leather couch.

Vampires.

I was halfway between paranoia and blood lust; at least that was what it felt like, this crazed need to run up the stairs and do something unthinkable.

What the hell makes any of my family think I am able to control myself without someone watching my every move?

Maybe that was part of their plan.

Nobody was here to stop me.

Nobody but me.

Hell, I’d be better off chained in the basement.

My thoughts perked up. Now, that was actually a solid idea born out of necessity to keep my body, my tongue, my mouth from the one woman who would take it all — and refuse to give it back.

I’d be lost to myself.

She’d be lost to me.

And I didn’t know how to be an us anymore — maybe I never had. I’d been a horrible mate to begin with. What sort of mate dreamed about other women? I’d loved my human mate.

But she had been frail.

I’d been in a constant state of fear whenever we joined, fear that I would kill her with a flick of my wrist because I wasn’t cautious enough.

It would be difficult to injure a vampire.

I shook the thought when a knock sounded at the door. My ears strained to hear what was on the other side.

Heartbeat.

Rapid.

Even breathing.

I sniffed the air and then rolled my eyes as I stomped over to the door and jerked it open.

Timber grinned at me with white teeth and creepy blue eyes. “Just checking up on my old friend.”

I almost slammed the door in his face. “We have never been friends.”

He took a step over the threshold and spread his arms wide. “Fine. Cassius said that you were going to lose your mind and either kill a vampire or screw one. Had to see so for myself.”

“Hate demons,” I muttered under my breath as I made my way back to the living room to my pacing, to my torture.

Timber spread his massive body out on the couch and let out a pleased sigh. “Is she pretty?” He sniffed the air. “She smells pretty.”

My hand was on his throat before I could stop myself, squeezing with the intention of a good kill — blood — though demon blood tasted like ass. I wondered if Timber’s would be any different since he’d been saved by Alex’s mate, the last remaining elf and only immortal able to give life back to the damned.

I felt my fangs elongate as my mouth filled with saliva.

Dark hair fell across Timber’s sculpted face as confusion replaced his smile. “Have you looked in a mirror recently?”

“Why do people keep commenting on my body?” I growled, releasing his throat and closing my hand into a tight fist as my talons shoved back into my fingertips like they hadn’t just been clawing out and itching to rip flesh.

Timber didn’t even rub his neck. He merely examined me again like I was a complicated puzzle that needed solving. “At the risk of getting choked again—” His eyebrows shot up. “—you’re… other.”

“Other?” I repeated. “What the hell does that mean?”

Without warning, he lashed out with one hand and slammed me across the face so hard all I saw was blood; all I wanted was his death.

He jerked away and jumped behind the couch laughing. “Well, well, well, now I know why Cassius wanted me to check on you. You’re a ticking time bomb, aren’t you?”

“I’m not a bomb. I’m a wolf.” I pointed out the obvious, hoping to deflect more questions that I didn’t know how to answer. Like why I could hear the whoosh of blood in his body as it pumped from his heart to his extremities, and why, if I looked close enough, I could hear the whisperings of the blood as it communicated with the rest of the body.

Timber stopped walking and turned, looking over his shoulder. “You should feed before it becomes impossible to control.”

I rolled my eyes. “Got that covered. Had enough berries to make a fat bear happy, and I’m hunting later.”

“Hunting?” This seemed to perk him up. “You do realize it’s illegal to hunt humans?”

“Humans?” I laughed. “I’m hunting for pinecones.”

He pressed a hand to his forehead as if I was giving him a headache. “Pinecones.” He nodded. “Yeah, let me know how that works out for you. And remember what I said. You need to feed.” He tapped the side of his neck. “Preferably not on me when I piss you off again.”

“You wish,” I spat.

He winked. “You have the jaws of a kitty cat, Wolf. I imagine it would tickle.”

I moved to him.

He stumbled back and then gave his head a shake.

Go away, I said mentally. Just. Go.

He shook his head again and then narrowed his gaze on me. “Careful with those thoughts, Wolf.”

I blinked in confusion. “My thoughts?”

“This is going to be a shit storm,” he mumbled more to himself than to me. “Feed, mate, and join the ranks in helping us fight Those Who Watch.” He pointed a finger at me. “In that order.”

“The Ones Who Watch are behaving…” I sighed. “…for now.”

Timber groaned. “You know nothing, Wolf! We have ten of the ancient fallen angels running around a modern-day society with all of its… temptations… and you think the problem will lessen? You do realize that the Originals stood on a mountain for years simply watching life happen rather than participating in it? And you think that they’re just going to listen to us even though we freed them? That they’ll give up the power they have here?” He spread his arms wide. “Look around you! They would be considered gods!”

“Blasphemy,” I spat. “Immortals were placed here to protect humans from that very thought. The council—”

“Exactly,” Timber agreed. “The council is out fighting a war we can’t win unless we stick together. Hell, I have Alex’s wife out with me restoring demons’ souls in alleyways! All of this, while you stare at your pathetic little pinecones and focus on all the things that have gone wrong in your life and all the reasons for your inability to actually live. You know?” He clenched his teeth. “You want to die so bad? You feel so bad about yourself? Ask Cassius to end you. Better yet, ask the One to take your soul. You’re a shell of a wolf, a shell of a man, and not worth another wasted breath.” He flipped me off and slammed the door behind him.

I stood there, stunned.

Shame came swiftly.

Because the demon was right.

I’d helped save Alex. I’d helped save Hope after Alex begged me, but only because she was a friend. The mindless humans milling around the world had no idea what was coming, and frankly I didn’t care.

Because I was hurting.

Because I was afraid of myself.

Afraid to even look in the damn mirror and see the signs that everyone else had been seeing for the past two days.

I shook with the memory of her bloody body.

And when my tongue touched the blood in an effort to heal, a booming voice screamed in my head.

“Awaken.”

Maybe the monster wasn’t outside the house. Maybe I was the monster.

Maybe I was the one they should fear.