“That man is a tight-ass, jerk wad, coccydynia!”

Mila just stared at Zoey then over at Boris questioningly. Boris winked to let her know it was nothing serious.

She gave him a slight smile back, bouncing the small bundle in her arms up and down. “So that insult-of-the-week calendar seems to be working.”

Zoey nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yeah, now I can go around insulting idiot warriors and they have no idea what I’m saying.”

“Do they ever?” Mila asked dryly.

Zoey wrinkled her nose as she followed Mila into the house. “Well, nobody could call them quick learners, but I get the feeling they understand more than they’re letting on.”

Boris took a moment to ensure the door was secured before following them into the living area of Mila and Koran’s house. Usually, it was a meticulously tidy space, but at the moment clothing and dirty dishes were strewn around, covering almost every available surface.

Mila gave them an embarrassed look. “Sorry, I haven’t got much done lately. Quentan is taking up most of my time. Seems the only time he’ll sleep is when he’s lying on me, which means I have little time to do anything else.”

Zoey nodded. “I remember that with Elodie.” She started picking up bits of clothing and folding them or tossing them into a pile to be washed. “Don’t worry, we’ll get this placed tidied up in no time.”

Boris collected dirty dishes and took them to the kitchen. Giz found a comfy spot, circled a few times then plopped down. Boris shook his head. The creature was growing entirely too fat and lazy.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Mila protested. “You’re guests.”

Zoey snorted. “Since when are we guests? We’re family. You did the same for me when Elodie was a baby. So, sit down, shut up, and let me make you a cup of tea or something.”

“Pretty sure an Empress isn’t supposed to make cups of tea.”

Zoey grinned. “Pretty sure an Empress isn’t supposed to say shut up either. I could get Boris to make it, but last time Liula told him to make a cup of tea he put salt instead of sugar in it.”

Mila grinned over at him. He shrugged, attempting to look innocent.

“I didn’t even know she drank tea.”

“It’s the one human custom that she deems civilized.” Zoey said the last word with quote marks. “Like we’re all beasts running around naked, beating on our chests and gnawing on raw bones. Although I’ve had some boyfriends that weren’t far evolved from that.”

“So Liula is a coccydynia?”

“No. Well, yes, she’s always a pain in the ass. But this time I’m talking about that rat bastard, Zillion.”

“The arms trainer? What did he do?”

“He was born, that’s what he did.”

If anyone had told Boris that he would end up as a bodyguard to an impetuous, loud, incredibly loyal Empress, Boris would have laughed. Following a female around all day would have been considered sheer torture. But life with Zoey was like navigating a minefield while blind.

Sometimes more adventure than even he wished for.

But still a lot of fun.

Zoey sat with a sigh. “Sorry to just turn up like this, especially when Koran said you’re too tired for visitors, but after my encounter with that troglodyte, I had to vent. And I feel bad running my mouth off at Boris all the time, when he never does the same.” She turned to look at him, a corner of her mouth quirking up. “Not sure how he puts up with me sometimes.”

Actually, Boris thought it was his privilege to guard her. He wasn’t sure why the Gods had sent him to her, but when she purchased him from that auction he’d known it was meant to be. Not that he had not forgotten his vow to avenge his family’s deaths. He had already taken care of those who had wielded the knives that slashed their throats. But the one who ordered the murders still had to pay.

He knew that eventually the one he sought would be revealed to him. In the meantime, he guarded Zoey. She wasn’t just his charge, she was his friend.

“Honestly, if I wanted to kill myself all I’d have to do is climb his ego and jump.”

Mila smiled as she sat on the sofa across from Zoey. Boris stood back, watching over them.

“I’ve met him a few times. Doesn’t think much of humans, does he?”

“So it’s not just me? Yippee,” Zoey said sourly.

“What happened?” Mila asked.

Boris could see Zoey was calming down. Mila had that effect on people. A good attribute for a diplomat to have.

“Oh, I just asked him to give us some blaster lessons.”

Mila raised her eyebrows. “And he refused you?”

“Hard to believe, huh? You would think a perk of this Empress crap would be having people instantly obey me. But no. Nobody takes me seriously.” Zoey pouted while Mila grinned.

“Poor little Empress, all she wants is to have her demands met with instant obedience.”

Zoey crossed her arms over her chest. “Is it too much to ask? But no. Everybody questions me. Empress, have you really thought that through? Empress, nobody wears red and purple together, do you want to get changed? Empress, you can’t serve that at a lunch function, it’s just not done. Empress, you must be gracious and soft-spoken at all times. Empress, you must not make jokes. Empress, you must not laugh so loud.” Zoey snorted. “Screw that.”

Mila gave her a sympathetic smile. “Tough at the top, huh?”

“It sucks at the top. I mean, whatever happened to unquestioning obedience, huh?”

“Pretty sure that’s called a dictatorship.”

“At least if it was a dictatorship, that jerk-face Zillion wouldn’t be able to laugh when I requested that he come to our self-defense classes and teach all the women to use blasters.”

Mila sighed. “He’s not the easiest warrior to get along with.”

“He turned away as I was in the middle of explaining how it would be beneficial for the women to know how to shoot. And when I followed him, demanding that he listen to me, he told me that he would never teach a female to use a blaster. That he considered us too weak and soft to ever be able to shoot something, therefore it would be a waste of his time.”

Mila’s mouth dropped open. “Okay, I can see why you’re so mad.”

Zoey sighed and leaned back in the chair. “I probably wouldn’t have taken it so badly if I hadn’t had such a crap week.”

“Liula?” Mila asked sympathetically.

“Yeah. The old bat is back in fine form, pointing out every little thing that I do wrong.” Zoey rubbed at her temples. “And Dex is so busy, he’s little help. Plus, I don’t like to complain to him too much about his mother. For all that she’s a bitch, she still gave birth to him. He doesn’t need to hear about my problems. I’m trying to tell myself that she lost her mate so she deserves a bit of leeway, but honest to God if she doesn’t ease up on the critiques, I’m gonna have to do something drastic.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, is shooting your mother-in-law from a cannon frowned upon?”

Mila smiled. “Don’t think there are many cannons available around here.”

Zoey tapped her chin. “Hmm, true. Might have to think of something else.” She stood. “I’ll talk to Annabel about blaster lessons. I’m going to have to find some way to sneak in and grab some blasters to practice with, as well as figure out a safe place to do it since Zillion won’t let us use the training area.”

Zillion needed to learn that saying no to Zoey was not a good idea. And that upsetting her wouldn’t be allowed. Boris might not be able to do something about the old bat, but he could deal with the arms trainer.

Zoey stood and Boris moved forward. Zoey rarely sat still for long.

“I better go before Koran finds me here and tells me off for tiring you.”

Mila sighed. “I’m fine. Honestly. I enjoy company. Koran is just fussing. I love Quentan, but staying home with him all day is driving me nuts.”

Zoey laughed and hugged her gently, careful not to squash the baby. “Don’t worry, it gets easier. Sort of. And, I hear shooting things is a really good stress reliever.”

“Good point. Sign me up for those blaster lessons. Koran can spend some daddy-son time with Quentan.”

“Will do. That probably won’t be until after I get back from Maalika though.”

“Ooh yes, your anniversary trip.”

“Yeah, although it’s not technically the date we mated, I don’t care. I need a trip away with Dex.”

“I thought you were going to Ulrika though?”

“Dex changed his mind.” Zoey chewed at her lip. “He needs to see his friend, King Rohan. I’m hoping to get him to relax and have some fun while we’re away, though. Doesn’t matter where we go, this trip is going to be awesome.”