Chapter 22

 

 

Amelia stood under the awning, waiting for a car. Eamon appeared out of the shadows. Her breath caught, and she smiled. “There you are. No car?”

“It will be here in a moment. Now, what did you want to discuss?”

“Not here. I don’t want anyone to hear,” she answered.

“Even a trusted driver?” Eamon asked.

“As long as it’s not Inuala,” she replied.

“Don’t worry about that. Niall and Nolan are watching her. Seems she wants me dead.”

“Not a surprise,” Amelia muttered.

His head cocked. “What did you say?”

“In the car. Please.”

He dipped his head. “Of course. I apologize.”

One corner of her mouth lifted. “Impatience has always been a trait of yours.”

“Was I ever too impatient with you?”

Yes and no. He rushed her into marriage soon after their first meeting. And, as a way to keep the peace between their clans, and because she was awestruck by his charisma, beauty, and power, she agreed.

In time, she realized it was lust, not love that pulled her in, though she did begin to fall for him. However, his focus on his father’s directives kept them too far apart to stay in love with him. He didn’t give her the time or attention she craved. No, she found that in Trenton, the man who had followed her to kill the one holding Crom Cruach, but fell in love with the vessel.

Perhaps if he had killed her all that time ago, they wouldn’t have been in the present situation, or any of the ones over the years. She wouldn’t have found the man she belonged with.

Without her past with Eamon, she never would have found her true mate. Perhaps she could give the same to Eamon. The ability to find the person he was always meant to be with.

“It was a different time, Eamon. Different expectations. We were young and foolish. And perhaps, because of everyone else’s urging, you fell in love with what you saw, not with the real woman.”

He sighed. “Did I treat you poorly?”

She offered a sad smile. “You neglected me all too often while chasing after things other people wanted. Things you assumed they wanted. How often did you go after something purely because it was exactly what you wanted?”

“You, every time.”

“No. You chased after your memories of me. We were good on our first incarnation together, Eamon. We were good, in our ways. But you only ever saw the part you wanted to see.”

“Maybe you’re right. But was any part of your love real?”

The car pulled up.

“In the car, Eamon. Please.” She feared the truth would hurt him far more than he was ready for.

He held the door for her. Once seated, he followed.

“My love was very much real, Eamon. But we grew apart before my death. And there were things about my death you didn’t understand. What I did was twisted around to make you what you are. It was never the goal.”

His smile crumbled, the monster peeking out. “You would kill me too? In order to take back your protector? The one you gave me?”

“No, that has never been my intention. Your death is not my goal, neither is changing you. However, changing your goals is. I held onto Crom Cruach so the wrong people wouldn’t use him. I tried to take him with me into death, because he is not what you believe he is. He was the entity my parents invoked into battle. He thrives off death and destruction, which is why he transformed you into what you are when his essence flowed into you, guided by a priestess from my homelands.”

“Who?”

“Inuala. I only know she orchestrated my death and started the process to tear Crom Cruach from me. Her goal was to have you become the new vessel for him, but something went wrong. You were tainted, touched by his essence, but you do not truly contain him.”

His brow pinched. “You don’t want Crom to come into our world? But you don’t want my death either?”

“Exactly. We can tear Crom out of this world without changing you. You will lose the voice in your head, the one that comes because you are touched by his magic, but you will keep your strength, your abilities, your power. You will still be the first vampire.”

“And I won’t have you?”

She gulped. “You never truly had me, Eamon. There was another. One who became my closest friend while you were out fighting, conquering. I was alone so often, and he was the only one who sat by me while I cried for your return. He held me when I was so alone I thought I’d break. Being your wife made me more alone than being with my family who saw me as a mistake.”

Tears filled his eyes. “You always sent me into battle, wished me well. Gave me strength through your god.”

She shook her head. “I never sent Crom with you. He would follow you, seeking a host that would grant his desires. Battle, death, war. I wouldn’t, but through you, he found a way to take what he needed. Then a woman in a black cloak and hidden face started sending me messages. When she couldn’t get me to do as she wished, she convinced your mother I was a succubus, trying to steal your seed to create a monster. That’s why Yseult attacked me, causing my death after I was given a potion to start tearing apart the restraints that kept Crom locked inside of me most of the time, the one that dampened what he did and didn’t do.”

“I’m a mistake?” he whispered.

“I tried to protect you from him. I wanted you safe. And you became stronger. You still made me love you through the years and incarnations, and maybe if my soulmate hadn’t been another man, you would have won me over. But I was always tied to another soul.”

“Brendan?” he asked.

“Does it matter, Eamon?”

“That’s why you don’t want him near me.” Eamon shook his head, closing his eyes. “You betrayed me.”

“Not as you believe. You weren’t there to hold me every night. And I know you were with other women while we were married and you were fighting battles far from my bed. There were countless women who came, claiming you were the father of bastards.”

His mouth popped open. “And yet you stayed,” he whispered.

A bitter laugh escaped. “I loved you, even knowing your faults. And it was a different time. I had nowhere else to go. You would have hunted me down. Besides, love is complicated. I did love you, but I was never in love with you. You were and are a good man, a good leader. I don’t want to see you die. I want you to find freedom from the dark voice in your head, and love with a woman who was meant for you. She’s out there, but she was never me.”

“You were the first woman I loved. The only woman who haunts my memories, my dreams, my heart. I don’t want to give you up. I don’t want to let you go.”

“Even if I don’t love you now?” she whispered, wondering if she had made a grave mistake in coming to him.”

He gave her a sad smile. “Then it’s a good thing I already started to see the error of my ways in the past. Every incarnation you are a bit more distant each time. I always wondered if it was you, or me. And I have been holding on too tight for far too long.”

“We need to stop Inuala, Eamon. Her version of the ritual to bring Crom into the world will rip his essence from you. You can’t survive without the essence in your blood. But if he’s banished, you keep what makes you what you are, without his influence. You can start fresh.”

A laugh escaped his lips. “You have always wanted the best for me. You did much for me in life, and in other lives. And even if I couldn’t keep your love, you act with love and kindness. How can I ever find someone to give me better than you have?”

She blinked back tears. “Maybe you’ve already met her. Maybe you haven’t met her yet. You were so busy chasing after what you thought you needed you were blind to true love. If you think back, I bet you find you loved me, but never all-consuming. We were good, Eamon, but I was never enough for you.”

He pulled her into his arms, placing his cheek on her head. “Thank you, Amelia.”

“For?” she whispered.

“For still believing there is a shred of good in me.” The gravel in his voice told her to run. That he was fighting the darkest part of him. What was left from Crom Cruach seeping into him.

She placed a hand over his heart and wove the protection around him, drowning out the sound of the entity’s voice.

He relaxed, even though he held onto her tighter. “I wish I had known there was a way to quiet him.”

“I wish I had understood what made you what you are and how to stop Crom Cruach without destroying you. I had ideas in the past, but they all ended up with you dead and gone.” She blinked back more tears. “That was never my goal.”

He sat back but kept eye contact. “Did you know Inuala in life?”

“No, not exactly. She came to me through the mirror a few times. Her vision, her voice, nothing more, but she was covered. It was certainly her voice. And over the centuries, she has sought me out and killed me to keep me from you. In fact, I believe she was the reason I’ve died nearly every time, and she thinks I’m stupid enough not to have figured that out.”

“I’ll kill her,” he hissed.

“We will, but first, I need to be taken to the captives, and we need to end the rituals. The people she’s taking, some of them torturing. It has to end.”

“She’s always claimed the goal was to bring Crom fully into the world.”

“Which would change our world drastically. It would become a dark, dangerous place for everyone. You don’t want that.”

He gulped. “He promised heaven.”

“He urges you to kill, to drink blood. Do you really believe his version of heaven is anywhere near yours?”

He shook his head slowly. “No, because heaven was you in my arms with the sun streaming in.”

Those were the moments she loved him best. Before he went to one battle after another and left her alone, waiting. “Those were our best times,” she admitted.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I never thought you knew.”

“We need to stop Inuala, and we need to free the captives. Some of them I know.”

“You know how to stop her and Crom?”

“I believe so, but I’m going to need help. I need to bring other people there to remove the captives and to stop Inuala. She’s going to make her move soon. She’s taken someone who could hold Crom the way she needs, but she will kill you in the process.”

Eamon nodded. “Drummond mentioned they may not need me. Perhaps she didn’t tell him she planned to kill me, but he has always been loyal to me. I sent him away, so he wouldn’t witness her death.”

“I’m sorry.”

“He came to me, warned me, and I know he loves her.”

“Love can be a tricky thing,” she repeated. “I’m sorry this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I don’t want to beat around the bush and promise you something I cannot give you.”

He lifted her chin, forcing her gaze to his. “I appreciate that.”

“I worried you wouldn’t.”

“You are breaking my heart, but I suppose it’s been a long time coming. And knowing you love another man, I was starting to think I should let you go, for now at least.”

She gulped. “If you harm him, I will kill you. Keep in mind how many times I’ve died because you have found me, or to keep me from you.”

He nodded. “Who is Brendan really? I sensed glamour on him. It’s how I knew he was Fae.”

“He’s more than Fae. Part sorcerer. His name is Brent Shadows. And Inuala held him captive for five years more than two hundred years ago. He killed her, but I’m guessing Drummond found her again.”

“That’s how she and many of the vampires died? Drummond never told me what happened.”

“Did you know about the captives?”

He winced. “At that time, I knew there was a stable of food. Not the details. I had heard rumors, but my people wouldn’t tell me. After the deaths of many, I started to realize we needed them.”

Amelia sighed. “Drummond never drank from Brent. However, the king of the Fire Realm at the time was the one to free him. I can’t lose him, Eamon.”

“I understand. And I don’t want to see you die once again. Losing you tears me apart each and every time.”

“I’m sorry for that.”

“You did love me? Truly?”

“Yes. And part of me always will. You were my first love. But first love doesn’t often last forever.”

“Let’s end the rituals, and we can all move on.”

“When I get there, I’ll contact those who need to be there. I already told them the goal is to stop Inuala and anyone who tries to help her. Remember that. If you can warn your people, do. I don’t want to kill anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”

“I’ll need twenty minutes. You will be with me for it, so you can correct me if I say the wrong thing.”

“We don’t want to give too many details. Only that Inuala is under suspicion and to keep their distance.”

He smiled sadly. “You were always wise.”

“Not always,” she whispered.