RILEN TRIED TO SIT NEXT TO ME, but I slapped my book closed and moved to another seat. He let out a sigh and followed me.
I moved again.
He followed me again.
I moved again.
This time, he stood directly behind me, not allowing me to move.
“Kimber.”
I didn’t turn around. “No. I’m not talking to you right now.”
Rilen leaned in close. “It’s been nearly six weeks since you’ve done more than sleep in our bed.”
“That’s inaccurate.” I snapped the book shut, and turned in the chair. “Eighteen of those days were breaking the Spine. Five of them I was in the infirmary. Another week was spent recuperating, at your insistence. That’s a full month. My celibacy has only lasted for two weeks.”
“But why… you know we want you there. I thought you wanted to be there.” Rilen truly looked confused and contrite.
I stood up, forcing him back. “I do. I do want to be there. But I will not lay with those who won’t tell me the truth or confide in me. I’m just as much a part of this group—both the bed and the dais—as you three are, and yet you keep secrets.”
Sidestepping him, I headed out to the garden to see if I could do some reading there.
Naturally, Rilen followed. “Kimber, I don’t understand. We all have secrets. Dorian most of all. We—”
I halted and shoved a finger into his face. “That is not what I mean, and you know it. You know it.”
He blinked. Once, twice. “This is about the shield.”
“And the raid. And the robes. And how I am not given the information I need. I’m the Breaker! But the way you three have been treating me for the past four weeks, you’d think I was a babe in diapers! I may be young, Rilen, and maybe I am naïve, but I am not stupid.”
“No one said you were,” Roran said, striding up to his twin.
“Fuck off. Both of you. All three of you!”
Whirling on my heel, I marched back into the dorm and up the stairs.
The twins were there in the stairwell with me in just a heartbeat, showing off their newly revealed power in speed.
“That’s exactly what I mean!” I snapped as they caged me against the wall. “I had no idea you two could run like demons from hell were on your ass! How many other secrets do you plan on keeping from me?”
“You kept Drez and Jallina from us,” Roran said.
“That’s not the same thing! They were spies!”
“There will always be secrets,” Rilen whispered.
“Oh, for fuck’s—” I shoved them both away with a hit of power. “I know there are secrets! Dorian is ancient. You two aren’t much better off. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about you three not talking to me about the fact that you think my magic is weak.”
Instead of heading up, I headed back down, and this time, to the front door of the dorm. I crunched angrily down the pebble-strewn walk, just trying to get away from the two of them. I headed for the gardens, only for the two of them to cut me off again with their inhuman speed.
I let out a frustrated scream. “Stop it! Stop it! Both of you. Can’t you see I need time away from you?”
“Two weeks is too long for the Breaker to go without being granted power,” Rilen said.
“And it’s too long for her mates to go without pleasuring her,” Roran added with a wink.
“Bad move, brother.” Rilen’s voice was quiet.
My finger again landed in Roran’s face. “Don’t you dare bring up that mate shit right now. I’m not mating anyone who lies by omission! I almost tied myself to someone who would have seen me dead—you think I’ll allow anything like that in the middle of-of-of this catastrophe?”
Roran stepped into me and wrapped his hand around my waist. “Ilati—”
“No,” I snapped and yanked his hand off me. “Don’t try to talk your way out of this, you silver-tongued demon! I don’t care if you have skeletons in your closet. We share a horrible one! But if you think the three of you can talk about me behind my back, about things you think are wrong with me, and don’t come to me with that, you can all just sleep in a cold bed and jack each other off for satisfaction.”
One more time, I started walking away from them. A moment later, I heard their feet on the pebbles, and they flanked me.
It was killing me not to give this up and just let them pin me against a tree in the garden and have their way. I wanted them in the worst way.
“Kimber, what have we done?” Rilen asked. “Please, help us understand, ilati.”
“You are all not talking to me about me. You’re not being open and trustworthy.”
Roran sighed. “We have kept secrets—”
Rilen stared across me and slashed his hand through the air. “Roran, shut up. Please, shut up. This is important.”
Roran’s jaw snapped closed, and he looked fairly admonished. He took my hand in apology but said nothing.
Rilen looked back at me. “I don’t understand. What aren't we truthful about?”
“I see the looks you toss at each other over my head when we talk, or when I say something, or when you tell me, once again that I can’t take the shield or go on the raid. Do you think I’m stupid? Blind? Just a simple schoolmarm?”
“None of those, ilati,” Roran said quietly.
“Then what is going on? You have to realize I’m not in a good place to play head games. We had to kill my last bedmate so S’Kir didn’t die. That does things to a woman.”
“Makes her untrusting?” Rilen asked.
I nodded. “For starters. And then add in all these secret looks and non-verbal discussions…”
Roran ran his thumb over my knuckles. “This has been so much for you, ilati. We have been worried.”
I snorted. “And you think I haven’t?”
Rilen sighed. “We were trying to protect you.”
“You took me out to a secret meeting of rebels, and I watched and helped you behead them.”
Roran opened his mouth to say something but reconsidered. “We knew you wouldn’t believe us.”
“And you could let me watch Dorian fuck my former lover in the ass and snap his neck?”
Roran cocked his head. “Well. . . that’s a good point.”
“But you won’t talk to me about what you think might be wrong with me?”
They stopped, and I took a few more steps to stand in front of them. I took a deep breath and turned to pin them both with my stare. “I am Mistress Kimber Raven of the Temple of the Lost God. I am the Breaker of the Spine. I am the Healer of S’Kir. I am not a simple woman. I am not a fool, nor stupid or ignorant. If you wish to continue to bed me, you will not hide your concerns about me or about anyone else who shares that space. If I cannot trust you three, I cannot trust anyone. Am I understood?”
Roran got it first and nodded. “Yes. Of course. We excluded you from important conversations about you. Which isn’t right.”
Rilen’s nod followed. “Yes, I get it. You do understand that this came from a place of worry.”
“Guys. No one worries about this more than I do. It’s me. It’s my life. So, of course, I’m worried.” I folded my arms. “What is the basis of your worry?”
Rilen started. “Despite the fact that you have brought down the Spine…”
“…it feels like something is missing in your magic,” Roran concluded.
“It has since you came out of the cave,” Rilen confessed. “Since we came out of the cave.”
“It’s like there’s a missing piece of the puzzle. It’s not dangerous, but it’s holding you back from really taking possession of the title of Healer of S’Kir,” Roran said.
“We can get you all the way to amazing heights of power, but we’re not sure that you can use it all. There’s just something…missing.”
My breath escaped my chest in a rush. “I know. I feel it too. I’m not really mad that I can’t take my turn at the shield, but more at why I can’t take the turn.” I glanced between them. “Does everyone know?”
“All the masters can sense the missing piece.” Rilen nodded.
“Were you never going to talk to me about this?” I tried to keep the anger from my voice.
“I…don’t know.” Roran took my hand and held it lightly.
“We are now,” Rilen said, tossing his twin a dirty look.
I didn’t let my smile show. They got it, and I needed them to be serious with me. For just a little while. Then they could go back to Rilen and Teabag.
They took my hands and walked quietly into the formal gardens of the temple grounds. I could see the new Masters’ Quarters being built on the grounds of the old one, and they were rising quickly. It was heading quickly toward completion, and I hoped it was a way for the people to have something to focus on rather than the hell that was at the Scar.
“What do you think is wrong with your magic, Kimber?” Roran asked.
Only the sound of our feet crunching on the gravel filled the air for a few strides. I started to ponder the question silently but realized they were here for me, to help me.
“I’m not sure.” I let out a sigh. “I know I have an amazing connection to the magic of S’Kir. That was evident in the cavern. Whatever I have now was enough to do what I was meant to do.”
I dragged in a hard deep breath. “So why does it feel like my magic is incomplete?”
Rilen twiddled his thumb with mine. “Is it the magic or the power?”
I laughed. “Hoping to share me with your brother again? No, it’s the magic. Between the three of you, I have no need of more power.” Guiding us to a bench on the side of the walk, they helped me sit while they remained standing so we could all see each other.
“Is there something in your past, perhaps?” Rilen asked.
Raising an eyebrow, I stared at him. “My past is about as boring as I am. My parents were Willow and Dixon Raven. They waited seven hundred years to have a child. They saw I wasn’t powerful, so they excused me from many classes to my detriment, and then died when I was forty-five in a boating accident. That’s about it.”
“Do you know why they waited so long to have you?” Roran asked.
“My mother was told that her daughter would be the death of her by a seer.” My eyebrows quirked up. “She was given a prophecy by a seer when she was very young.”
“Do you have that written anywhere?” Rilen asked.
“Um. It might be at the house.”
“House?”
Nodding, I pointed to the southeast. “My parents’ house. I’ve kept it all these years, thinking someday I could live there with a mate. It’s shuttered, and everything that was precious to them was stored there. I don’t go there often because it’s…lonely. I think if I live there, ever, I will need to pull down the walls and put up new.”
Roran angled his head, curious. “Why?”
“Because too many things happened there. Things that aren’t good memories. My nanny died when I was five, and my parents lived there when they died. The house still speaks of my mother’s decoration and my father’s hobbies.”
“They loved you very much, didn’t they?” Rilen’s question was quiet.
I shook my head. “In their own way, yes. But when I was young, they were not… affectionate. When I got older, it became easier to bear because I realized they didn’t know what to do with a child. They were not natural parents. As I grew, as I became my own person, it was easier for them to be my friend than my parents.”
How strange to think of all this.
Roran cleared his throat and asked the question again. “Did your mother save her prophecy?”
“Yes, I’m sure she did. It will be at the house.”
“How far from the city is the house?” Rilen asked.
“A half day by train, in the Middling Hills.”
Looking up at the sky, Roran nodded. “The raid is in two days. If we catch the next train to Middling Hills, we can be back tomorrow by noon.”
With a snap of my head, my eyes met his. “Right now?”
“Right now.” Roran offered his hand. “We need to start figuring out what is missing in your magic, and we need to start now.”
Rilen folded his arms. “Especially if you want to go on the raid.”
“I’m allowed?”
Roran looked at his brother. “Mmm. I wouldn’t say allowed, but…”
“…if you show up ready to go, I don’t think they’re going to say no to another sword.” Rilen shrugged.
The smirk slipped onto my lips. These two men were so bad for me.
I loved it.
* * *
Stepping off the train, the three of us walked down the platform to murmurs, gasps, hasty bows, and curtsies. It was strange to experience people who had been my neighbors decades ago bowing to me.
If they didn’t know I was the Breaker, they knew we were temple masters by our dress.
Rilen waved up a carriage, and we climbed in. I gave the address to the driver, and he turned to look at me.
Everett Thomson.
Elex’s father.
“Mistress Kimber?”
I came close to leaning out of the carriage and heaving my guts down the side.
“Mister Everettson,” I managed, choking on my bile.
“My dear,” he held his hand out to me, “it is so good to see you. My wife and I have been reluctant to come to you since your elevation. Would you join us for dinner? We just wish to hear of our son from you…”
Sweet Savior. Was this my punishment for his death?
“Mister Everettson,” Rilen said, “we’d be pleased to join you for the evening meal. However, we must get to Mistress Kimber’s old home as soon as possible. May we call on you after?”
“Of course, Master.” He nodded and turned back to face the front.
“Deep breath, ilati,” Roran whispered in my ear. “What do you fear from him?”
“That he is the one who brought his son into the rebels,” I hissed. “I misjudged Elex, who is to say I didn’t misjudge his father, as well.”
“Do you sense any duplicity?”
I let the magic whirl around him and felt…nothing but the sadness of a man who had lost his son. There was no malice, no duplicity, no dishonesty.
“No, nothing. He just wants to hear about his son.”
Taking my hand in his, Roran smiled. “There you go. Well done. Now calm down. You’ve had many dinners at his parents’ house, from what I understand. We will tell them what they need to hear. His death was unavoidable. He did so to save S’Kir.”
There really wasn’t much of a lie in that. He did die to save S’Kir, just not the way most people would assume.
I sat back and watched the hills roll by, remembering the landscape, flora, and fauna. There were gorgeous vistas here, open spaces, farms, and livestock.
Everett’s voice floated back to us. “It hasn’t changed much since you left, Kimber—I mean, Mistress.”
“Please, call me Kimber,” I said.
After all, shouldn’t you be on a first name basis with your son’s killers?
“Are you coming back to stay soon?”
“No, no.” I could see the primary school in the distance where Elex and I had played as small children. “I’m here to check on the house, that’s all. Just make sure that it’s in good repair and…uh, find a piece of art my mother left me.”
“We were shocked to hear you were the Breaker,” Everett continued a moment later. “Someone so meek and mild entrusted with such a task…how do our vampire brethren fair?”
“Not, well, sir,” Rilen answered. “Not well at all.”
I leaned forward and cleared my throat. “Everett, who has taken over the Rest?”
Both Rilen and Roran turned their heads to look at me, eyes wide, shock on their faces. I darted between their looks, waiting for Everett to answer.
“The Fox Family,” he said, but there was reluctance in his voice. “I’m afraid they aren’t as good at attending to the needs of the Resting. We have all taken turns doing rounds in the caves.”
I sighed. “Should I speak with them? It is my duty to make sure that the caves are cared for.”
“I think it would be more than a mere suggestion to them if you did.” He chuckled. “I can just see Bateena’s face when not just one but three temple masters appear at her door.”
A little chuckle escaped me. “I believe that crapping her pants would be an understatement.”
I heard Everett chuckle along with me a moment later.
The rest of the ride was quiet, as Roran and Rilen were clearly doing their twin thing, something passing back and forth between.
It only stopped when Everett pulled his carriage to a stop in front of my old home. House. Home.
It confused me more than ever to be there.
Roran helped me out of the carriage as Rilen pushed the gratuity into Everett’s palm. No one wanted for the basics of life in S’Kir, but the finer things required gold. And the people of the Middling Hills were always in want of gold—I was glad Rilen pressed it on him. I would do more if I could.
Perhaps I could. I’d look into it soon.
As the carriage rumbled away down the dirt trail, I stood looking at my old house.
It was nestled in the shadow of a tall cliff, the sun only shining down for a mere three hours in midday, between its rise from behind the hill to its slide behind the trees on the far hill.
There were two paths. One led to the front door, poorly tended even for a dirt path, and the other led off to the right and up the hill to the mouth of a cave.
Rilen’s voice broke the odd silence between us. “Kimber, your parents were the Keepers of the Rest?”
“Yes.” I glanced to the right to the two handsome men standing there. “It wasn’t a secret.”
“I just never realized you were that Raven family.” Roran’s eyes locked on the entrance of the cave.
“I’ve been gone for nearly fifty years. I trusted the Poulson family first. They were terrible at taking care of it. I left it to the mayor to choose the next family. Too bad it seems they were just as bad as the Poulsons.” I sighed. “We’ll go up and check the Rest before we go to Everett’s house for dinner.”
I headed up the decrepit front walk, and the twins bolted after me.
“How many Rest?” Rilen asked.
I pulled out a key to the front door and unlocked it. “I don’t know. I don’t keep the records here anymore. I am merely the owner of the land. Other people are the caretakers.”
The door creaked on its hinges as it swung into the house. The same creak I remembered from all my years there. No amount of oil or grease ever fixed it.
The dust I stirred floated through the air and didn’t have any intention of settling. It was thick and choking, and with a brush of magic, I pushed all the windows of the house open, and a welcome breeze traversed the rooms.
So bucolic. So peaceful.
So unnerving.
There was something…that always bothered me about being there. Even before my parents died. Even when Cely was there to chase the boogeymen away.
It never felt right as home.
“Let’s find the box with my mother’s stuff.” I walked toward my parents’ old bedroom and pushed the door open.
Daylight didn’t do much for the room in the back of the house. This room had always been starved for light, and I felt it now.
Roran stepped in the door, and Rilen followed, bringing up some magical light in the room.
Even after breaking the Spine, I kept forgetting I had power and magic and didn’t have to rifle in the dark.
“No furniture?” Rilen asked, moving to the windows.
“No, I got rid of almost everything when they died. I gave it to the others in the town who could use it. Their bedroom furniture was one of the first things to go.” I pulled the closet doors open. “I stored all of their personal belongings in here.”
There were only a few boxes, one labeled Willow, one labeled Dixon, and one for the two of them together. They were married when they were a hundred, so the personal boxes were smaller.
I lifted my mother’s out of the closet and knelt down with it, opening the top.
The box only had a few things. Parchment from her school. A silly project from when I was young. A necklace made from pretty stone she’d found as a little girl. The small, stuffed kitten that my father had given her as a gift on their second date. The dried rose from when he proposed to her. Their Sealing ceremony certificate.
A small, ancient-looking box my mother had only let me see once before she hid it away sat in the center. I only saw it again after her death, and that was when I found the prophecy inside.
Opening the lid, I reached in and pulled out a pale blue seashell. This was old, old magic. A whisper shell. A seer could enchant it and whisper the vision into it before giving it to the focus of the vision.
This one was my mother’s with the promise of death for my birth.
I put the crystal next to the box in my palm and offered both to the twins.
It was silent a moment, then the prophecy started to fill the room. Nothing more than a breath carried the sound around.
“…a child born of unfathomable time, a whole made of two impossible halves. Destiny waits for her sword and blood, your death shall follow her birth…”
The looks on their faces were of wonder, horror, and shock. Rilen took the crystal while Roran took the small box. They studied them, turned them over, traded, and traded back.
The prophecy kept whispering from the shell.
After a long time of study, Rilen finally spoke. “Kimber, there’s no way that this belonged to your mother.”
My brows knitted. “She got so upset when I found it and opened it. She was utterly livid. Possibly the only time I ever saw her angry.”
Roran shook his head. “It’s not hers. It can’t be. This magic is ancient. It hasn’t been used since before the Spine rose. And it can’t be used anymore.”
“But—”
“Roran is right. This must be an heirloom of some sort that meant a lot to her. These whisper shells”—Rilen held it up—“are native only to the Southling Caye. Once the seer whispers their vision into it, it never stops whispering back.”
Turning the box in his hands to show me the runes, Roran traced a finger over them. “This box with these words is the only way to quiet the shell.”
“But I don’t understand why you say this isn’t used anymore.”
“Because these runes,” Roran continued, “must be carved into only one kind of wood, a hushwillow tree. And those trees grew in only one copse in all of S’Kir. It stood northeast of the vampire stronghold in East S’Kir, beyond the Twin Falls.”
I caught the past tense. “Stood?”
Rilen pursed his lips, and great creases of sorrow lined his face. “It burned to the ground the day before the Spine rose.” He stood and walked out of the room, seemingly unable to be there anymore.
Watching him walk away, I turned to his twin, whose face echoed the same pain.
“His wife died in the fire.”