Things in New York were not going the way Garrett had expected them to go. Things weren’t going the way he’d expected them to at all, and for him, that could only be a good thing. He’d come to the city he’d grown up in with an expectation of extreme unhappiness. He’d traveled to the city of his father’s choosing with no real idea of what his new life would entail, without even having a place to live, even. He’d gone with a heavy heart, sure that he would be shoved in an office somewhere to deal with constant complaints and the mundane ins and outs of an office job, which was something he’d always promised himself he would not do. What he’d found instead was something he’d never expected. He’d found that he missed New York, missed its vibrancy, missed its never-ending offerings. There was nothing he could want that he could not find there, and to top it all off, he found himself thankful for the opportunity to start his life over again.

It was true that he still got several emails a day from Becky, emails that ranged from sad and maybe a little bit desperate, to angry and threatening. She’d even written that he couldn’t stop her from coming to New York after him, and that once she got there, he wouldn’t be able to hide from her, but now that they were states away from each other, he found that he wasn’t all that worried. After all, New York was a massive city, one of the largest in the world. There was no way she would be able to find him even if she tried her damndest to do so. He hadn’t known which hotel he’d be staying in when he’d left, and he’d never once told her the name of the company he was moving to help look after, so there was really nothing to fear on the Becky front.

He had no doubt that she’d get over him eventually, and probably as soon as she met another wealthy guy who was willing to put up with her. The only other thing he had in Denver, his advertising company, was doing just as well without him there as it had been with him around all of the time. There was nothing to stop him from fully embracing his new position, his new life, and that was what he had decided to do.

He’d been in the city for close to a month now, still living in the Ritz Carlton while looking for a more permanent place of residence, and he was still surprised by how easily he’d slipped into the life, how seamlessly his transition had been. There were only two things that stood between him and total contentment, and the first of those two went by the name of Finnley Row.

Finnley, the girl he’d seen across the bar the way people did in movies, was someone he’d known right away he had to talk to. It was something he hadn’t told anyone, hadn’t even said out loud to himself because it sounded downright crazy. It sounded, in fact, like he was trying to say that seeing Finnley at that first work happy hour had been like something straight out of a rom-com movie, which was totally insane. The problem was, whether it was insane or not, that was exactly what it had felt like. It had felt like he was living inside of a movie, and just as it would have been if he really had been in a movie, the first thing he’d done was make her spill liquor all down the front of her. That was the moment that had really hooked him in, he thought now, that moment when she’d first shrieked and then started to laugh. Because he was no idiot, he’d known better than to keep it a secret that he was no stranger to what she more than one time referred to as the “hostile takeover” of Cubed, and yet he hadn’t been able to bring himself to tell her who he was. Instead, he’d laughed with her, gotten drunk with her, and finally he’d kissed her clumsily in a back booth of the club, like the two of them were twenty-one-year-old kids. He’d gone to bed on a high from the mere contact with her, only to have it all doused the next morning. He’d managed to get her to talk to him again two weeks ago, a conversation that had wound up with her once again in his arms and him getting to kiss those lips he hadn’t been able to forget about, but when his father had walked in he’d fucked it all up, and he’d hardly gotten a word out of her since. He knew he’d fucked up, and he’d tried apologizing, but it appeared that his apology didn’t mean much to her anymore. Not that he could say he blamed her. For the short amount of time they’d known each other, he’d done an awful lot of messing up, and Finnley didn’t strike him as the kind of girl who was willing to forgive a whole multitude of sins. He needed to talk to somebody about it, to get some advice about how to get another do over, but he didn’t have anybody in the city. Nobody but his mom, that was, and she was the second problem his short time in New York had presented him with.

If Finnley was the issue that most occupied his mind, Garrett’s mom was the issue that most occupied his heart. His first night in New York, lying in bed too wired to sleep from the buzz of Finnley’s taste still on his lips, he’d tried his best to remember the last time he’d actually seen his mom, and he found that he couldn’t actually do it. He could get to a ballpark idea, which basically meant a year and maybe a time of month, but he couldn’t figure out for sure the last time he’d seen his own mother and what the hell did that say about him? Even the memory of her face was blurry in his mind, a blurry and very angry thing that always seemed to be shouting.

His parents had split up many, many times over the years, split up for a night or two days and very occasionally for a week or more, but they had always found their way back together. It hadn’t been until Garrett was twenty-one that they had split up for good, which he figured was where the image of her angry, shouting face had come from. He had been there with her the day his dad had come to collect his things and had seen the final collapse of a marriage that should have been done with a long, long time ago. She’d been like a snarling, wild animal that day, screaming in the middle of the street at a husband who was abandoning her to a secretary only two years older than his son. He’d seen her since then, of course he had, but he hadn’t ever gotten that image out of his head, and when she’d finally been put in an institution equipped to handle her delicate mental situation, he’d been secretly relieved. With him so busy all of the time in Denver and her literally locked up in New York, there had always been an excuse to keep from seeing her. But now? Now that excuse was gone, completely done away with by his father’s decree that New York should once again become his home. He’d managed to wait almost a month before he’d let the voice inside of his head telling him to go and visit his mother already, but he couldn’t listen to that voice any longer. He’d called a car to come and get him, and before he’d had enough time to talk himself out of it, off to see his mom he went.

“Sir? Excuse me, sir? May I help you with something?”

“Yes,” he answered embarrassedly, wondering just how long he’d been zoning out while the person manning the desk of his mom’s hospital facility had been trying to talk to him. “Yes, I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

“I was asking if there was anything I could do to help you,” the clerk repeated kindly, looking at him with a very distinct air of pity despite the fact that she looked like she couldn’t have been more than nineteen tops. “You look a little bit lost, if you don’t mind my saying so.”

“Ha!” Garrett laughed so loudly he made the poor receptionist jump. “I look lost, do I?”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude. I can see how that must have sounded rude, certainly I can, but it wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s alright, miss…?”

“Penelope,” she answered in a small voice. “My name is Penelope.”

“Yes, well, it’s quite alright, Penelope. I wasn’t laughing because I was angry. I was laughing because your comment couldn’t be more right. I’m definitely lost, completely and totally. Do you think you might be able to help me with that?”

“I certainly hope so. What is it that’s brought you here?”

“I’m here to see my mom, actually.”

“Perfect,” Penelope chirped, switching into her business mode and undoubtedly relieved to be able to do so. “And could you please tell me your mother’s name?”

“Elize,” he answered quietly, all of the sudden feeling like his throat was so dry he would die if he didn’t get the biggest glass of water he could get his hands on. “Eliza Wallace.”

“Eliza? Oh, is she your mom? I had no idea! We all love Eliza here. She’s lovely, so free spirited, you know?”

“Yes,” he answered with a thin, fake feeling smile. “I do know.”

His heart gave a little lurch inside of his ribcage while his mind took him back to all of the times he’d heard his mom described in just that way, a woman with a free spirit, a woman not confined by the expectations of those around her. Just as it was with the bickering and fighting, Garrett could remember his mom’s “free-spirited” ways, dating back to his earliest memories. She would do things like wear a ballgown to McDonalds or pull him out of school for a weeklong, impromptu trip to Disney World, just the two of them. He’d thought it was completely fantastic when he was a kid, and even looking back on it now, he didn’t blame himself for that. Fancy Micky Ds and trips to Disney parks with all of the souvenirs and Cokes he could have asked for? What kid wouldn’t think a mom who gave him that was awesome? The problem was, and this was something he started to understand right around the time he hit puberty, a parent wasn’t supposed to do those things, and it wasn’t because parents were supposed to be boring. A parent wasn’t supposed to do those things because it wasn’t good for the kids, and because taking off with a child for days and days without telling anyone where you were going was a recipe for fucking disaster. And it wasn’t like it had all been fancy fast food excursions and spur of the moment vacations, either. There had been plenty of good times, too, and even now, Garrett couldn’t help but wonder what all of these people who liked to call his mom free-spirited would think if they saw his mom during one of her moods.

“Sir? Did I say something wrong? Are you alright?”

“No, you didn’t say anything wrong. My mom is indeed a free spirit, so you’ve got her perfectly pegged there. Do you think I could see her? It’s been a long time, way too long, I’m ashamed to say, and it would mean a lot to me.”

“Is there any chance she’s expecting you?”

“No,” he shook his head ruefully, a sad smile already playing across his lips as a result of the answer he felt coming on. “There’s no chance of that. The two of us went through some rocky times together, if I’m being honest. We’ve been what I guess you might say estranged, and I thought it was time to let the past go.”

“I see,” Penelope answered gravely, nodding her head vigorously as if she understood what he was saying perfectly. “Unfortunately that’s a relatively common story with patients like Eliza.”

Patients like Eliza. Even though Garrett understood that his mom was in a mental facility and that she’d been there for several years now, it still floored him to hear her referred to as a “patient” of any kind. She was in there on a voluntary basis, so he supposed that was something, but still, it was a weird feeling. His mom, the mental patient. His mom, the schizophrenic. When he thought about it in those stark terms, he wanted to tell sweet little Penelope to just forget about it, he’d made a mistake and would be going just as fast as his legs could carry him. Instead, he offered her the most charming smile he could muster, which he was pretty confident wasn’t all that charming at this point, nodded his head, and went on.

“I have no doubt. The thing is, I don’t want it to keep being like that between the two of us. I’m sure you’ve got visiting hours or something like that here, and I have no idea whether or not I’m here at the right time for them, but do you think there’s any way I could just see her? Visiting hours or no, do you think there’s any way I could just see her?”

He was sure she was going to say no, so sure, in fact, that he was already coming up with plans of bribery and trying to estimate how much money it would cost him to get her to bend to his will. He was actually fishing around in his pocket for his wallet when she cleared her throat lightly, managing somehow to still sound delicate while she did so.

“Mr. Wallace?”

“Yes?” he answered sheepishly, feeling like he was somehow at fault for something despite the fact that all he’d wanted was to see his own mother. “Sorry, I have a feeling I’m acting like an idiot.”

“You’re not. I think you’re being very sweet, honestly, and even if we weren’t really supposed to let people back right now, which we’re allowed to do at the moment, I absolutely would. I’ll just go back and let her know, if that’s alright. Sometimes our patients aren’t the best with surprises.”

“Sure, I understand. My mom was always the queen of surprises right up until you popped one on her, and then she didn’t enjoy it one bit.”

“Exactly,” Penelope smiled, a sweet smile that made him feel like everything might turn out alright, after all. “You absolutely get it. Hold on just one moment, will you? I’ll be right back.”

She left the receptionist's desk then, and Garrett was left standing in the lobby of a building that looked way too fancy for a mental hospital and twiddled his thumbs while he waited for her to return. He’d felt fine about what he was doing, or relatively so, while Penelope was still there with him, but the second he was alone, he went right back to being scared shitless about seeing his mom after all of this time. It was pathetic, the idea that he might only feel alright about it because he wasn’t alone, but that seemed to be exactly what was happening. It was almost like he didn’t know who he was without another person there to help reflect him back to himself, and realizing that, instantly made him think about Finnley. She was still supremely pissed off about the way he’d acted when his dad had walked in on the two of them kissing; she was so pissed off that he hadn’t been able to get her aside to explain why he’d acted that way in the first place, but in that solitary lobby moment, that didn’t matter one bit. He wanted Finnley there with him so that he didn’t have to do this alone, and it was a wanting so strong it was almost a physical thing.

“Mr. Wallace?”

“Please, just Garrett. Mr. Wallace really does freak me out. I keep thinking my dad’s here and believe me, when it comes to my mom, none of us want daddy-o here.”

“Oh dear,” Penelope giggled, giving him a look that was somewhere between flirtation and professionalism. “Well, we wouldn’t want that now, would we? So Garrett, then.”

“So much better, Penelope, you have no idea how much better that makes me feel.”

“Good, we aim to please. I’ve spoken to your mother, and she’s thrilled to have you visit.”

“Is she? Are you sure?”

“Of course! She went on and on about how long it’s been and how grateful she is to have you here now.”

“Alright,” he answered doubtfully, trying not to let the sweet receptionist see how likely it was that this was a double-layered kind of a thing, as they so often were with his dear mother, “if you’re sure.”

“I’m quite sure, Garrett. Now, if you’ll please follow me.”

Garrett did as he was told, trying to ignore the acceleration of his heartbeat as the two of them went through the double doors leading from the hospital’s lobby to the area where the patient's actually spent their time. Although he didn’t want to look around, didn’t want to see anything of his surroundings, he couldn’t help but open his eyes so wide they felt like they might pop right out of his head. The rooms he was walking through looked more like a nursing home to him than a hospital, and its occupants looked like they could have been hanging out in a college dormitory. It was such a normal-looking bunch that he could almost convince himself that none of them were ill in any way. That was the thing that was so insidious about people like his mom. Not that it was their fault, not that it was their goal to be insidious or anything as planned out as all of that, it was just the nature of what they were. People like his mother would look and seem completely normal, right up until the moment when they weren’t, and that moment would be the one that would rock your world completely. He was hoping he wouldn’t have one of those world-rocking moments with her today, was sort of banking on it actually, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel himself reverting back to the childhood self that lived for the moments when his mom was at her best and was in constant fear of the times when she was at her worst.

“Here she is; this room here. Just give a quick tap, and I’m sure she’ll tell you to come in.”

“Just like that?” he asked hesitantly, a sneaking suspicion coming over him that he might be starting to sound a little bit desperate. “You’re going?”

“Sure, I’m going. I don’t think it would do to have me in there for your reunion. Besides, if I come in with you, there won’t be anyone to man the front desk, and that’s just a recipe for disaster.”

“Right! Right, sure, of course. Thank you for your help, Penelope. You’ve been a real doll.”

“Thanks,” she laughed, her face flushed and her smile beaming. “That’s a very sweet thing to say.”

“It’s true. You’re good at your job. My mom and the rest of them are lucky to have people like you around.”

Her smile widened, and then she turned and went back the way she had come, saying friendly hellos to all of the patients she saw as she passed. Garrett watched her go, fighting the urge to ask her to come back, then faced his mom’s door. He raised his fist, hesitated in a moment that felt both ridiculous and necessary, and knocked as quietly as he could without foregoing the motion all together. He half-expected his mom to say nothing, or maybe to yell at him that she’d changed her mind and wanted him to go, but that wasn’t how it went at all. His knuckles had barely left the wooden door before it was flung open and his petite mother was launching herself at him like a howler monkey.

“Garrett!” she cried, hugging him with a ferocity he would never have expected from a woman as small as she was. “I swear to God, when that little girl told me it was you here to see me, I thought she was either confused or just a big fat liar! I thought, no! Not a chance! Not a chance in hell my son is here. I don’t think he even remembers I’m here anymore!”

“Christ, I’m sorry, Mom.”

“What? No! Don’t you dare do that, boy. You were right not to come. I was terrible. Get in here, okay? No son of mine is just going to stand in the hallway looking like a kicked puppy. Come on, get in here.”

The illustrious Eliza Wallace, who had never bothered to change her name after the divorce with the reasoning that she hadn’t been the one to initiate the divorce and so shouldn’t be the one to go through all of the work of changing back to her maiden name, opened the door wider and cocked her head to the side. It was the exact same kind of look she’d given him when he was younger and thought he was dragging his heels on something he’d been ordered to do. He couldn’t help but laugh when he saw it. It acted as an icebreaker of sorts, and when he entered her room, he was genuinely pleased to be there. He sat in the chair beside her desk and waited as she folded herself cross-legged on her bed, grinning at him like she was a kid and not a woman in her sixties.

“What’s the look for, Mom?”

“Nothing. I’m just so glad to have you here, that’s all! I had no idea you were even in New York!”

“I haven’t been, at least not until about a month ago.”

“Where were you instead? I can’t imagine living anywhere but New York, seeing as it’s basically the capitol of the world, but I’m sure you picked some place nice.”

“I was in a couple of places, but the last one was Denver. That was the most important one, I guess. I really loved it there.”

“Spent a bunch of time smoking the pot, did you?”

“Mom! Are you for real?”

“Please, you think I was born yesterday? My generation smoked more pot than yours could ever dream of.”

“I believe you,” Garrett laughed, starting to wonder what had kept him from doing this years sooner, “but no, I wasn’t there for the pot. I actually have a company there.”

“A company, huh? If you’ve got a company in Denver, then why would you move to New York? Love you, but that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.”

Garrett hesitated at the question, which later he would recognize as his fatal mistake. It may have been some time since he’d seen his mom, and she may have had some serious issues, but she also knew him better than almost anyone. She’d always been the one who could tell when he’d done something wrong, even when he’d managed to tell a lie convincing enough to satisfy his dad. That instinct about her son hadn’t changed one bit, and the second he hesitated, she pounced on it. Not that it was all that difficult to pounce on. She had grown up with his dad the same way that he had, and she knew the way he operated. It may have been years since the two ex-spouses had seen each other, but apparently, she was banking on his not having changed at all—and on that account, she was one-hundred-percent correct.

“Your father did it to you, didn’t he?”

“Come on, Mom, that’s kind of a dramatic way to put it, don’t you think?”

“When it comes to your father? No, no I don’t. I know that snake better than anyone. I should know the way he operates.”

“He didn’t force me to come. I could have said no.”

“But he didn’t make it easy, did he? Of course, he didn’t,” she pressed on, answering her own questions and leaving no room for any of his own input. “That’s not the way he operates. He likes to push, to push and push and keep on pushing until you can’t take it anymore. He likes to force people’s hands.”

“But I’m glad I came, Mom, so it really doesn’t matter how he got me here. Truth be told, I was done with Denver and didn’t even realize it until I was out of there. You might even say he did me a favor.”

“Bullshit, he did you a favor. He hasn’t gotten you to do anything yet, has he?”

“Do anything? I’m not sure I know what you mean. I’m here to help him run a company he bought, a computer startup named Cubed. I like it there, even though I don’t have a clue what I’m supposed to be doing. I met this girl there, actually—”

“Anything illegal!” She interrupted, talking now as if she couldn’t even hear him. “Has he gotten you to do anything illegal?”

“Woah, calm down, Mom! What are you even talking about?”

From rather unpleasant personal experience, Garrett knew that telling his mom to calm down was rarely the best idea in the world, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. One minute the two of them had been having a perfectly normal conversation and the next his mom looked like a rabid dog. Her eyes were too wide, the veins in her temples pulsing so intensely that he could see them jumping. As she looked at him, she leaned forward, straining towards him with a look of such intensity it made him feel like he might burst into flames or something. It was an uncomfortable position to be in for sure, and maybe the worst part about it was that he had no idea where it was coming from. She had seemed so normal before, almost like she didn’t really need to be in the hospital anymore at all.

“You’re telling me you don’t know?” she asked with a humorless little laugh, a laugh that held within it all of the contempt of the world. “You honestly don’t understand where that question might be coming from?”

“No, I don’t! Not a fucking clue, if you want to know the truth. I know you aren’t dad’s number one fan or anything like that, but he’s not a criminal. Why would he ask me to do something illegal?”

“He’s not a criminal, huh? You sure about that?”

“Of course, I’m sure! I know you hate him but get real! Don’t you think I would know if he was a criminal? He’s not like, some kind of mob boss, you know? He’s just my dad, and whether you like him or not, that’s not a bad thing.”

“You ever stop to ask yourself how dear old dad made all of that money he likes to throw around?”

“He’s talked to me about that,” Garrett answered patiently, feeling very much like he was talking to a child. “He inherited a bunch of money from his parents and then made really wise investments. Last time I checked that isn’t a crime.”

“That’s what he told you?”

“Yes, Mom, that’s what he told me.”

“And you just believed him? Just like that?”

“Of course, I did! Why wouldn’t I? I don’t just go around assuming people are lying to me. You may do that, but I just don’t.”

“I’m not assuming anything. I’m telling you what I know, and I know it for a fact.”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta call bullshit on that. You’ve thought the worst of Dad for a long, long time, and at least half of the things I’ve heard you say I happen to know are a complete crock of shit. Or did you forget that some of the lies you told about him during the divorce involved me?”

“The things I’m talking about aren’t like that, Garrett. They aren’t figments of my imagination and before you throw it out there, no, they aren’t my illness talking either. These things I know because he told me, Garrett. Jack told me all about himself when we were young and he hadn’t decided I was too much work to be worth it yet.”

“Right, Mom, but he’s talked to me about his past, too.”

“He’s talked to you about the past he wants you to think he had.”

“Mom, that sounds—”

“Crazy?”

“That’s not what I said,” he answered quickly, shifting uncomfortably in his chair with how easily she had picked up on what he’d almost said, what he’d really wanted to say.

“No, you didn’t say it, that’s true. You didn’t say it and that’s all well and good, but it’s what you wanted to say. I can see it written all over your face.”

“What do you want from me, Mom? I can’t always control the looks on my face, especially when it comes to you.”

“No, you never could do, could you? It was a serious question, though, and I’ll go you one better. Has he ever talked to you about his parents?”

“Sure, he has. They had a lot of money, although I can’t remember why at the moment. They died in a car accident, and when that happened, he inherited all of their money. Sound about right?”

“If we’re talking about the story he tells people. If we’re talking about the truth, then no, it doesn’t sound anywhere close to right.”

“Mom—”

“What if I were to tell you that his parents aren’t even dead? Very old, yes, but not dead? What would you say to that?”

“I think you know what I would say to that. I’d really rather you not make me come out and say it.”

“Right,” she said with a smile that looked so normal it was hard for Garrett to remember that he was talking to a ward of a mental institute. “You’d say I’m crazy. All I’m asking is that you listen to me, son, and that you do so with an open mind. Keep in mind, your mom is more than just her illness, at least some of the time.”

Because she was his mother and he loved her just as much as he always had even after all of this time, he listened to her. He listened to her for a long, long time all the while completely sure that there was no small bit of truth to the things she was saying. By the time he left, however, a car already waiting to take him back to his hotel, he had no idea what he was supposed to think. He wanted to be completely positive that his mom was just being her crazy self, but there was a part of him—that seemed to be growing—that—honest to God—just wasn’t sure.