“I’m really not sure I should be here.”

“I know.”

“No, I mean I’m really not sure I should be doing this. Especially when Finnley doesn’t know. This could get me into so much trouble with her. You too, just in case you were wondering.”

“What makes you think that?” Garrett asked as nonchalantly as he could manage, trying to hide the slight shake in his hands. “Do I strike you as the kind of man who gets into trouble?”

The look Clara gave him at the asking of that question was enough to make Garrett wish he hadn’t asked the question at all. It was meant to be playful, to lighten the mood of what had so far proved to be a meeting full of tension. Instead, it had resulted in the opposite effect. He liked Clara, or at least had liked her when they’d gone to see her and Weston. The fact that she so clearly didn’t trust him didn’t exactly make him feel like a stand-up guy. It made him feel like crap, is what it made him feel like. Nothing like a distrustful gaze from a good woman to make you wonder whether or not you were doing the right thing.

“Okay, you’re right,” he answered. “She doesn’t know, and that could piss her off, at both of us probably. But correct me if I’m wrong, didn’t you say that she doesn’t know because if she did, she wouldn’t let me talk to you?”

“Yes, that’s right. That’s exactly what I said.”

“Because this was your idea, remember? You’re the one who called me and asked me to meet you here, not the other way around. I’m not saying that I regret coming, but I’m getting the feeling that you do. If that’s the case, it’s really fine. Just let me know, and we can both be on our way.”

“Huh.”

“What do you mean, huh?” Garrett watched Clara’s face as he asked his question, with no idea of who the girl really was or the way she thought. The funny thing was that he had no idea why he was defending this meeting in the first place. When he’d received the call from Finnley’s friend a couple of hours ago, his first instinct had been to give her a resounding no. He wasn’t sure where he stood with Finnley, but after the last time they’d spoken, he was reasonably sure that she no longer thought Becky showing up was some weird player’s trick he was trying to pull over on her. He’d never met a woman he wanted as much as he wanted Finnley, and although she wasn’t the easiest woman in the world to handle, he wanted to make her see who he really was. He wanted her to see who he was underneath all of the bluster of money and reputation, and he thought he was finally on the right track. Him hanging out with one of her friends behind her back didn’t strike him as the kind of thing she would appreciate in a man. If anything, he could see her getting pissed off in the same way she had been when Becky had shown up. If that happened again, he wouldn’t rule out the possibility of him taking a swift kick to the nuts. He might even deserve it, too. He wanted to say all of this to Clara, to pour it out on the table and let her tell him what to do, but she was still looking at him thoughtfully, her “huh” hanging in the air like a fog.

“Nothing,” she said thoughtfully. “I just didn’t peg you this way.”

“What way?”

“So straightforward. No offense, but your reputation sort of precedes you.”

“Believe me, I know. That reputation is something I was hoping to leave back in Colorado, but in the age of the internet, you can’t ever really leave your past behind, can you?”

“It’s admirable that you’re trying to, though. I didn’t mean it as an insult, Garrett. Quite the opposite, really. I’m glad. I can see why she likes you so much.”

“And I like her too, Clara. I like her very much and getting things started between us has been difficult enough already. Can you see why I would hesitate to meet with her friend behind her back? I don’t think talking about her with one of her friends is going to endear her to me anymore. It’s more likely to make it so that she never talks to me again. I’ve already had to talk her out of quitting once.”

“Then I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know I didn’t ask you here to talk about her.”

“You didn’t? Then I’m sorry, I’m not sure what’s going on here. I know this is going to sound rude, and I don’t mean it to, but what else would we have to talk about?”

“No,” Clara laughed, “I don’t think you’re being rude. It’s exactly what I would want to know if I were you. I asked you to come here so I can talk to you about your father.”

Garrett supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised by this revelation. This was one of Finnley’s best friends, after all, and he knew how Finnley felt about sitting idly by while the senior Wallace turned the company she loved into something she couldn’t even recognize. Still, something about being summoned by this shy, sweet friend made him feel like things were spiraling out of his control. Except that wasn’t really the problem with what was going on, and he knew it. The problem was that it made things feel real, and as willing as he was to admit to anyone who would listen that his dad was no prince, he wasn’t sure he was ready for that kind of real. He already had one parent locked up in an institution. The idea of the other one being some kind of a monster was sickening.

“Garrett? Are you alright? I realize that must come as something of a surprise. If you don’t want to talk to me, you don’t have to. Of course, you already know that, but I thought it would be good to say it. You can tell me you don’t want to talk about this and get up and leave, and I won’t think any less of you. I won’t be offended.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Clara, and it’s much appreciated, but I can’t walk away. You might not think less of me, but I would think less of myself. That’s the problem with trying to leave behind the guy I used to be. It requires that I be more responsible than my Colorado-self was.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Whatever you need to tell me, go ahead and say it. I can take it. Believe me, I’m under no delusions that my father is a saintly man.”

“That’s good, because I’ve been looking into him, and he’s about as far from saintly as a man can get, from what I can tell. It’s funny that you mentioned earlier that you can’t get away from your past with the advent of the internet.”

“How so?”

“Because your dad did a pretty good job of it. All I can say is that he must have some pretty impressive ties to people in high up places because his records have been so tightly sealed I’m surprised I was able to find anything on him at all.”

“Records on what?”

“All kinds of things. It goes back a long way, Garrett, and a lot of it is pretty nasty.”

“Tell me. I need to know, Clara.”

“It started when he was young. He had a younger brother. Did you know that?”

“No, not a clue. He’s always told me he was an only child. But then again, he also told me that his parents were dead, so there you go. We already know he’s not great with the whole truthful thing.”

“He had a younger brother. The boy died when your father was ten. I got to the statements filed by the police who were first on the scene and it was really disturbing.”

“Disturbing how?”

“They had some idea...they thought your dad might have had something to do with it. They reported an unusually blank effect, as well as a fear and nervousness on the part of his parents directed towards him.”

“And that couldn’t have been because their son had just died?”

“Of course, it could have. It was more of an instinct the cops had. They couldn’t find enough proof to go anywhere with it, and their captain insisted that they drop the angle. The death was filed as an accident.”

“Jesus, Clara. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information.”

“Unfortunately, there’s more. Do you want me to stop?”

“No. Please, don’t stop, Clara. I have to know this stuff. I need to know.”

As Garrett sat and listened, Clara outlined a whole host of petty theft and robbery charges his dad had faced when he was young and poor. Because poor was exactly what he had been, although he always alluded to being a man who came from wealth whenever the topic came up. When Garrett asked why those charges hadn’t stuck, he learned about his father’s connection to the mob. Connections formed early, Clara said, and never let go. In fact, his dad was still getting into potential legal trouble, had had several lawsuits drawn up against him in the last year alone, except that none of them went anywhere because the people pursuing the suits always mysteriously dropped them. Either that or they just disappeared, the way his grandparents did. All of the threats Garrett’s father had lobbed in his direction over the years, and especially since coming to New York, came rushing back to him like a wave. It was too much, too much for one man to manage. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to suffocate, and before he even gave thought to what he was doing, he was on his feet.

“Are you alright?” Clara asked softly, standing as well and looking at him with grave concern. “I shouldn’t have told you this, not any of this. I thought you needed to know, but now I can see it was a mistake.”

“No, it wasn’t. Please forgive me, Clara, this is just a lot to take in all at one time. Make no mistake, though. I’m glad you told me. I’m glad to know what kind of a man my father really is.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure yet. All I know right now is that I need some time to myself to process this. I’ll pay the tab and go, if that’s alright. I don’t want to be rude and leave you alone.”

“I won’t be,” Clara smiled as she sat again. “Weston will come and meet me. And please, don’t worry about the tab. It’s the least I can do after dropping this bomb in your lap.”

Garrett thanked her and walked out the door of the little neighborhood bar, feeling completely numb as he went. He had told Clara that he didn’t know what he was going to do. That was a lie. After receiving news like what she had just told him, what else could he do but confront the man who had fathered him? There was nowhere he could go except for the office, hoping that his father would still be there. If not? He’d just have to hunt him down. It maybe wasn’t smart, what he was doing, probably wasn’t smart, but he just didn’t care anymore. He didn’t care about anything but finding his dad and getting some answers.

***

“Dad? Hey, Dad! You in here?”

There was no answer, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Garrett’s dad had never been the kind of man to come when he was summoned. Quite the opposite, actually. Garrett’s dad was one of the most stubborn sons of bitches he had ever met. It was one of the characteristics Garrett was most aware of having inherited from his dad, and one he wished he could be rid of entirely. Fuming and sick to his stomach, he moved quickly through the offices, checking each room for his dad as if the proud, prominent man would be hiding under a desk or behind a door or something. When he approached his own office, he found that his door was shut and there was light pouring out from underneath it. Of course, he was in there. In his mind, there was probably something poetic about him taking his son’s office.

“Dad. Didn’t you hear me?”

“I did. What of it? Did you think I was going to come running just because you were calling for me? You have eyes, legs. Clearly you can use them.”

“Fine, Dad, whatever. Guess I should have known you would be in my office, anyway.”

“Right, it’s your office. But then they’re all basically my office, aren’t they? When we get right down to it, I mean. Because this is my company, isn’t it? The whole thing belongs to me, and the only reason you’re here is because I brought you in. You would do well to remember that, I think. You’ve been forgetting who you owe your success to. That can be a dangerous habit to get into, Garrett. A very dangerous habit.”

“Fine, whatever you say. Because you should know, right?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that if we’re talking about dangerous behavior you should know all about it.”

“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. You’ve been drinking, I can smell it on you.”

“So what if I have? That doesn’t have anything to do with what we’re talking about.”

“And what exactly are we talking about? Do you mind getting to the point? You may not be able to identify with this, but I’m a very busy man. People pay good money to take up the amount of my time that you just have.”

“I’m not just people! I’m your son, for Christ’s sake!”

“I don’t care if you are. You may be my son, but right now you’re my son who is making veiled allusions to things he knows nothing about.”

“You’re right, Dad, I don’t know anything about any of it. I don’t know anything about you. Or at least I didn’t. Before.”

“Before what, Garrett? This cryptic speech is growing tiresome. I don’t believe I’ll waste any more time on it.”

Garrett’s father got up from the desk and stepped around it with an almost prim precision. It was clear that he meant to walk out and leave. He intended to dismiss Garrett and whatever great upset had brought him there, just like he’d been doing all of Garrett’s life. It was only when Garrett stepped in front of him, blocking his path, that he stopped. The look the elder Wallace wore in that moment would have brought a lesser man to his knees.

“What are you going to do, Garrett? Physically fight me? You don’t have the guts.”

“Why don’t you tell me who you work with, dad? Who you really work with? Or how about telling me about my grandparents? Or even better, why don’t you tell me about your brother? That sounds like a story I’d like to hear.”

“Shut up. I mean it, stop it right now. You’ve been doing some snooping, son. You’ve been sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. And let me take a guess who put you up to it.”

“Nobody put me up to anything. Maybe I just got tired of not knowing shit about where I came from.”

“Bullshit. Your little girlfriend put you up to it. Don’t think I haven’t seen how much she detests me. She detests me and everything I’m trying to accomplish here. She’s making herself a problem.”

“Yeah? Well, at least she’s honest, Dad. That’s a hell of a lot more than I can say for you.”

“Is she now? Tell me, son, did you know Finnley paid a visit to your mother tonight? Did she tell you that?”