Chapter 39
She sits across from me with a smile on her face, while she baits me. Telling me that what I say is not true. Though I know it is, because I feel it. It may have taken me a while to get there, but now I’m there she doesn’t have a chance in hell of getting rid of me.
“I don’t even think I want this, Zeke,” she says stopping that smile that was etched across her face.
“You do! I know you do. You didn’t just stop loving me, Bexley.”
Her face slowly scrunches like she wants to argue the fact. “Love isn’t always the answer, it was wrong,” she tells me shaking her head.
“It was never wrong, just the wrong time. But us…” I say indicating between us, “we were never wrong.”
“Are you going to be sleeping out the front of my apartment until I agree?” she goads me. I want to laugh.
“If you agree to try, no, I won’t. I do have a hotel that I’m supposed to be staying at. I just choose to be close to you,” I tell her the truth.
“Did you sell the house?” she asks me.
“I did. I sold a lot of my holdings.”
“Even the business Aria is in?” she asks again.
“Yes, it was a risk. I couldn’t have anything to do with that if it meant placing you in harm’s way again.”
“What about Aria? Was she okay with that?”
She’s always concerned about others.
“Aria wants what’s best for us, and she knows this is it.”
“Where do you intend to live?”
“Wherever you are.”
She spits her drink out like she doesn’t believe what I’ve just said. A waiter runs over and hands her a napkin and she is kind when she accepts it. Thanking him.
“You can’t expect me to just believe that, or even want that,” she says wiping her face and skirt. I want to touch her, I’ve been keeping my distance, it’s something I’m not used to with her. It’s hard, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Refraining myself from touching her, from kissing her. My eyes linger on her soft, lush lips, and she catches me looking and licks them. She knows what I’m thinking. What I want.
“I really want to taste you, Bexley,” I say and she sits up straighter in her chair. Her head starts to shake no.
“You can’t,” she says just above a whisper.
“Why can’t I?”
“Because you’re the devil, and I can’t resist him,” she says like it’s simple and I’m meant to understand that statement.
“I make you weak?” I ask her.
“Yes, and when you touch me, I’m yours. I want to be mine for just a little while longer,” she says.
I nod my head in understanding. “I won’t apologize, Bexley. Yes, we may not be right, but who is? I may have hurt you, but I still want you. More than my next breath,” I tell her leaning closer.
“Don’t say things like that, like it’s the stuff I want to hear,” she says to me.
“It’s not about what you want to hear, it’s about what I have to say.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, I’m not a chaser. You know I get what I want. But here I am, chasing you.” I wave my hands around in indicative movements.
“I need to go home, Zeke,” she says standing.
“Are you sure?” I ask reaching out to touch her. She nods her head. I hold my hand out, asking for her to take it.
“Can we walk? I would like more time.” She looks to me then to my hand and places her small soft palm in mine. I take and squeeze it, feeling her hand beneath mine.
Nothing is spoken at first, she keeps looking down at our joined hands. Like she’s afraid, I’m going to do something, or let go. Or maybe not even believing that I’m holding her.
“Are you changing, Zeke,” she asks looking at me while we walk.
“I believe so,” I tell her gripping her hand tighter.
“I don’t want you to change,” she says whispering. I stop and when I do, she does as well.
“Why?”
“I fell in love with you, Zeke, the problem wasn’t so much you. Though, there could be improvements. It was what you did, how it was kept secret, how you wanted to break me down like your other women. Once that stopped, it was you that I loved. Just don’t try to degrade me again.”
“Are…are you saying that you’ll try?” I ask her not believing.
“I don’t know what I’m saying though I can’t turn you off. You’re etched in here, and I can’t get you out. So I may as well stop fighting it while you’re here.”
“Can I kiss you now?” I ask her, she looks back to the path we’re on and shakes her head no.
“Not yet,” she says walking again, taking me with her this time.
“Favorite color?” I ask her, changing the subject.
“Black,” she replies.
“Why?” I ask her, she smiles but doesn’t stop walking.
“It matches your soul, so it’s mine.”
I laugh. “Are you saying my soul is black?”
“Yes, and because I love you, it’s my favorite color.”
“Okay, favorite movie?”
“I don’t have a favorite movie, but television show I do. It’s the Gilmore Girls.”
“Okay, diamonds or pearls?”
“Why must you know that?” she ask me her smile gone.
“Because we’re on a first date. We have to get to know one another.”
“Diamonds.”
“How many kids?” I ask, she stops fully this time and looks at me and removes her hand.
“This is a bit much for a first date.”
“I think everything we’ve said on this date, would make first dates very uncomfortable.”
“None,” she answers my question.
“What?”
She starts playing with her strap on her shoulder bag. “I can’t have kids, Zeke.”
I want to ask her why, but I don’t and reach out and take her hand instead. She lets me and our fingers intertwine as we continue walking.
“That’s good, kids and me don’t mix.”
She smiles, just barely, and doesn’t say another word.
“Favorite band?”
“Maroon Five,” she replies.
I nod my head agreeing. “Can I see you tomorrow?”
“What you don’t plan on sleeping out the front on my doorstep again?” she jokes.
“Only if that’s what you want?” I ask her raising my eyebrows in question.
“No, go back to your hotel.”
We come to a stop at her apartment complex, and she opens the door and I follow her up. Once we reach the door, we’re at a loss for words.
“Should I invite you in?” she asks as she opens the door.
I want to tell her yes, but I don’t. “No, that may not be smart, we need to do this right, and if I walk in, I wont be leaving that body of yours for weeks, I’ll be buried there for days.”
She nods her head in agreement and a blush takes over her cheeks. “Thank you for dinner,” she says to me smiling. I’ve never looked at another woman or seen another woman the way I see her. They have always said once you have eyes for the one you love, no one else can compare. I agree very strongly with this now.
I go to say something else, but no other words leave my mouth. So I lean forward slowly. Giving her the time if that’s what she needs to back away, and slowly bring my lips to hers. I need to taste her. I’ve missed her, and everything there is about her.
She doesn’t move when my lips touch hers, and I don’t move either. We just stand there, lips on lips. It takes me longer than a moment for my mind to catch up and tell me to taste her, to savor her. And I bring my hands up grabbing her face. She opens her mouth slowly, giving me access and I don’t disappoint. I take all that there is for her to give and kiss her. Her hands grab me, latching onto my waist and she pulls my shirt, squeezing it between her fingers. Our tongues touch, our bodies are locked. Our lips a frenzy of passion. I break away, against my better judgment and stand there with lips inches apart and our foreheads touching.
“I should go,” I whisper and she nods her head against me.