Christian bit back the frustration and impatience that flooded through him as the last of the police officers finally left. They’d taken statements from Melody and even questioned him. Now everyone else had gone, there was still a thick tension left in the room.
He felt at a loss as he stood alone in the middle of the living room, filled with a restless energy that pushed him into motion. He rummaged around the room, fiddling with things, trying to put everything back to rights. More than a few things had gotten destroyed or broken during the scuffle.
Christian bent down and picked up a piece of broken glass, and for a long moment he just started at it. He hated to see the reminders. That he hadn’t been there when he needed to be. That he’d been off somewhere else when Melody had needed him the most.
Just the thought of her name had him searching for her, and he felt a moment of panic when he didn’t find her at first. But a moment after she had disappeared, she was walking back into the room with a damp cloth and a spray bottle.
She knelt down on the floor, trying to clean the blood stains from the carpet, but they wouldn’t come off.
Christian dropped to his knees a few feet away from her, clearing away some of the debris and watching her out of the corner of his eye.
He hated the way her hands were shaking, like she was still just as terrified now as she had been when Enrique’s men had burst into the house and attacked her. He hated the dull look in her eyes that made him feel like a monster for leaving her alone.
Christian leaned forward and gently took the cloth from her trembling fingers.
“Let me take care of it, Mel,” he said. At least then he could be useful for something. Even when it didn’t count. Even when it was too late to matter.
His thoughts whirled in his head, and he searched desperately for something, anything, to break the terrible silence that had fallen like a lead weight between them.
“They are taking Craig to the hospital,” Christian said haltingly, still grasping for anything. “The EMT said that he would be fine though.”
The silence fell again, and this time he couldn’t think of a damn thing to say. He couldn’t speak past the lump of guilt that was choking him.
“How’s your father?” Melody asked after a moment, her voice soft and distant like she was asking him the question from the other side of a wall. A wall he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to climb over again.
But all he could do was answer her.
“He’s okay. I left him at the doctor’s office, getting a few stitches and grumbling about it the whole time, but he’ll live.”
No thanks to me.
Suddenly, the guilt became too much, and it exploded out of him. He threw the bloody cloth, knocking over a table as he did so.
“Fuck, Melody. I…”
Christian forced himself to stop, forced himself to draw in a shuddering breath as Melody started at him, her eyes so wide that he could see the whites all the way around.
Already regretting his outburst, Christian reached towards her, and Melody flinched away from him. It was a fucking stab straight to his heart.
Swallowing down the bitterness, he let his hands drop down to his lap and his head bowed. He couldn’t stand to look at her. Couldn’t stand to see the rebuke in her beautiful eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized raggedly, “I’m so sorry. You must hate me.”
Melody didn’t say a word, just looked at him, waiting for him to admit his shame, his guilt.
“I wasn’t here for you when you needed me. I didn’t protect you. I didn’t protect our baby. It’s my job to make sure you’re both safe, and I failed. You could have been hurt! You could have…”
Christian cut off the words abruptly. They were too painful to even say out loud.
“No.”
The single word said in Melody’s soft, quiet voice had him shaking his head in confusion, but he still didn’t look up at her. He couldn’t.
“What?”
“No,” she repeated, more firmly this time.
Suddenly, her soft hands were on his face, and she was kneeling right in front of him.
“Christian, look at me.”
There was no way he could deny the pleading tone in her voice, and he did as she asked. He looked up at her, and his heart stuttered in his chest at the look of love on her face. It was like a gentle rain, soothing the guilt and shame that were eating him up inside. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her.
“You have no reason to feel guilty,” Melody whispered, and her soft breath tickled his lips. “None at all. If you hadn’t have sent Craig…”
“Then those men would never have found you! It’s my fault. I should have been more careful. I was the one who told him to come. I should have been here to protect you. I should have…”
“Hush!” Melody laid one finger over his mouth, physically halting the words and accusations that were boiling up inside him. “You’re here now, and that’s all that I care about. That’s all that matters to me.”
Christian let out a sigh as she dropped back to her heels beside him and looked around the room. They could both see that the place was still in tatters. Tidying up wasn’t going to cut it. Not even close.
He was watching her every expression and could see that she was still reliving the fight, and he felt so helpless as he knelt there by her side. The whole time hating that he couldn’t do anything. Wishing he could go back in time and change everything.
“We can’t stay here,” he said suddenly.
Melody turned to him with a wide-eyed questioning look.
“Where can we go? Bianca’s house…”
“Isn’t the only safe house that the Devil’s Martyrs have,” Christian interrupted, finishing her statement as he shook his head, his thoughts flying a million miles a minute. “There’s one that is never used. Hasn’t been for the past five years or so. Many of the crew members don’t even knows it exists. It’s only for emergencies.”
“Well, I think this qualifies,” Melody said with a wry smile.
He melted all over again for her. Christian still couldn’t believe how strong his woman was, how resilient, when she looked so delicate.
She deserved to feel safe, and he knew she won’t feel safe there anymore. Not when Enrique knew where he lived.
“I’ll have someone check in here in a few days,” Christian said as he jumped to his feet.
It felt good to be moving. Good to have a plan instead of just the empty restlessness that had filled him.
“Pack up what you need to, but keep it light okay? We can get what we need after we get there,” Christian told her as he moved around the small house, making sure the animals would be set for a few days on their own, and grabbing a few small things for them, mostly clothes and some food.
“Christian, I can’t find my phone anywhere,” Melody said as he walked back into the living room.
She had a small backpack already packed and ready to go.
“Don’t worry about it. We can get another one for you after we get out of here.”
He didn’t want her to have to be there a minute longer than they had to.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get out of here,” Christian said, holding out a hand to Melody, and he was eternally grateful when she took it without hesitating.
They both climbed onto his motorcycle, Christian’s mind still working furiously. He’d have to call Hub when they got to the safehouse and let him know what happened. Hell, his father was still probably unaware that the altercation had even happened, or that Craig was in the hospital.
Christian felt another pang of guilt at the thought of leaving his friend, but it was just a drop in the bucket compared to what he already felt. He knew that Craig would be alright. It was Melody and the baby he was far more worried about.
His thoughts and emotions remained in a state of chaos as they drove. One hour turned into two, and they were nearing the third when Christian finally turned down the long, overgrown drive that led to the safe house.
It was a farmhouse much like Bianca’s, except it really was abandoned. As far as Christian knew, no one had been here in years, and as he parked the bike and stared up at the place he could see that the rumors were true.
The house looked like it was on its last legs, but there was no one around for miles and miles, and he knew they would be safe there, if only for a few days, while they got everything in order.
He helped Melody off the bike and went up to the front door. He pulled out the key ring his father had given him years ago, that had all the safehouse keys on it, and it only took him a few tries to find the right one.
Christian got the door unlocked, waving for Melody to walk in ahead of him before following her. But he only made it a step before running into her. She’d stopped dead still just past the threshold.
“Mel? What is it?” Christian asked in concern, but all it took was one look at the place for Christian to have his answer.
The place was a complete dump.
There wasn’t much there to begin with, but it looked like the place had been burglarized at some point over the past few years. It must have been some time ago because a fine layer of dust covered everything, but it still sent his heart racing in his chest.
“Just, stay here for a minute. I’m going to check it out and make sure everything is safe.”
“Hold on, Christian,” Melody said, slipping her hand into his. “I’m coming with you.”