Melody fell into his arms, clinging to him as if her life depended on it. And in a very real way, it did. She was a storm, churning and tumultuous, drowning in the emotions that she’d fought so hard to hold at bay.
Christian was her only calm anchor in the ocean that was raging inside her, threatening to tear her apart. She knew that if she gave in to the fear and despair, she would never be able to put herself back together again. She would never be the same.
She kissed him then, her eyes squeezed tight to hold back the tears that tried to fall. She didn’t want to cry. She especially didn’t want to cry in front of Christian, who was always so calm, so in control of himself all the time.
And there she was, sobbing all over him. Melody forced the tears away, drowning them out with need and desire and a fire that Christian ignited inside her with every touch of his lips.
She angled her head, drawing the kiss deeper as she tore at his clothes, a sudden wild lust whipping her into a frenzy. Anything to hold back the fear, the panic and the pain. She would cling to anything that she could.
But, just as suddenly, Christian was stopping her. He held her wrists with his hands, pulling away from her touch. They stood there, locked just like that, for a long, tense moment. Finally, Christian eased his hold on her, gentling his expression as he reached towards her, wiping the tears away from the tracks they’d made down her cheeks.
Christian took her hand in his, moving slowly, gently, as if he was afraid to startle her, that she would just flit away like a tiny fragile bird. Melody almost snorted out loud at the image of her as a bird held in Christian’s hand, but if she was being honest with herself, she felt more than fragile. She felt brittle. As if one good push would have her cracking all the way down the middle.
She didn’t resist him as he led her down the stairs and towards the kitchen, all the while her hand clutched in his. Christian sat her down at the kitchen table first before he moved around, poking into various cabinets before he found two mismatched mugs, washing them, and filling them with hot water.
He came back a few minutes later with two cups of hot tea, and Melody couldn’t help but look at it dubiously.
“Where did you find this?”
“Don’t worry. I brought it with me,” Christian said with a small snort and then shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if there would be a coffee pot or not, but I figured this would be the next best thing. Sorry I don’t have honey or anything to put in it.”
“It’s perfect, Christian. Thank you.”
Melody blinked eyelashes that were still heavy with tear drops as she breathed in the calming scent of the tea. She couldn’t make herself look up at Christian as she began to speak.
“I’m sorry for breaking down like that,” she said, still embarrassed about the whole thing.
Melody gasped. Christian was suddenly right in front of her. He grasped her chin in one of his big hands and gently turned her face towards her.
Nose to nose, Melody had no choice but to meet Christian’s eyes, and she could read the seriousness in them. At that moment, they looked as deep as the ocean and just as vast, just as mysterious.
“You don’t ever have to apologize for how you feel, Mel. You never have to be embarrassed with me. Not about anything.”
“But I hate crying. It makes me feel all weak and girly and I ugly-cry. You know… some people have a pretty cry, but that’s not me. I get all red-faced and my nose runs, and it’s really not pretty at all.”
Christian cut off her words with a quick, angry kiss, and when he pulled back that same anger was in his eyes. Not at her. But for her.
“First of all, you are beautiful no matter what you do. Crying, not crying. All of it. So gorgeous I can’t think sometimes when I’m around you. And secondly, you, Melody Mires, are the strongest, most amazing and capable person that I know. I would never call you weak, especially not for crying. Honestly? I must look pathetic next to you.”
Melody gasped as his words hit her, sincerity ringing like a bell in each one. She stared into his gaze, awed at this man that had crashed into her life, just as she’d begun to lose all hope of ever finding someone worthy of trust.
The words just tumbled from her mouth, but she meant every one of them.
“Honestly, Christian? I don’t think I will ever deserve you. But I’ll try to.”
He let out a bitter laugh.
“You won’t have to try that hard. Melody, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you and our baby.”
Melody shook her head in denial, but she couldn’t speak. She couldn’t even begin to form the words to tell him that it was not his fault, that he hadn’t done anything wrong. To convince him that she and their baby were safe.
So, she did the only thing she could do. She kissed him again. This time, trying to tell him without words all of the emotions and riotous feelings that were drowning her and carrying her away.
She felt lost, adrift in the ocean once more. But Christian tethered her, keeping her safe. His strong arms around her sheltered her from the driving storm. She leaned against him. His heartbeat was the steady pulse that led her home. Straight back towards him. Always him.
Slowly, Christian trailed kisses across her damn cheeks, down the line of her jaw and neck, until he reached the curve of her shoulder. Melody shuddered at the feel of his featherlight touches. As soft as a warm summer breeze on her skin.
She could feel his love for her in every single kiss. In every brush of his fingertips. And it had the heat curling inside her once more, desperate for him.
Melody reached for his clothes, and she bit back a groan of frustration when he stopped her again.
She shot him an irritated glare, but he just shook his head, a small smile teasing the corners of his lips. But then he grew serious, almost solemn as he held her hands in his.
“Let me love you, Mel. Let me take care of you. I need this.”
Christian whispered the words roughly against her ear, and a different sort of storm altogether blew through her. One of desire, tempered by love, made even more intense by the emotions still raging inside her.
Melody could tell that he was holding his breath, waiting for her answer, and slowly she nodded. Giving herself to him. Trusting him completely to take care of her, not to hurt her.
Christian let out the breath he was holding in a shuddering exhale that shivered through her. Neither said another word as he drew her back up to her feet, drawing her body close against his as he led her back upstairs.
Melody felt like she was walking into a dream as heaviness settled warm and fuzzy through her body. A strange lethargy invaded her senses, but instead of dulling them it only made them sharper, more attuned to Christian and every touch he gave to her.
Slowly, so slow she thought she might die from impatience, he undressed her. Inch by meticulous inch he revealed her naked skin to his hungry gaze, and the lethargy grew inside her. Alongside a heat that settled and pooled low and liquid between her thighs.
Clothing slowly made its way to the floor, and Melody wanted nothing more than to strip him bare, shove him to the bed and climb on top of him. But whenever the ache got too sharp she would remember his words. His request. To let him love her. To let him take care of her. And all she could do was let him.
An eternity later, she was finally bared completely, and he teased her with brief, all too light touches that drove her wild, before drawing her over to the bed. He laid her down gently, both of them wrapped up in warm darkness, and the silence was thick, interrupted only by Melody’s quickly indrawn breaths and moans of impatience.
Melody stretched out on the bed like a cat, restless and needing him so hard it hurt. She looked up at him, and the expression on his face made her breath catch. She was drowning in his love. There just wasn’t room to feel fear or panic or any of the other emotions that had haunted her. She was too wrapped up in Christian to feel anything but need and desire.
Helpless against the ache riding her body, Melody held out her hand towards him and waited.