LUTHER AND I started seeing more and more of each other as the weeks grew closer to graduation.
What started as a sexual tryst was turning into so much more, at least for me, but I’m almost certain that Luther felt the same.
I have seen quite a bit of the mansion lately, otherwise known as The Classroom, as that’s the only place I feel comfortable and confident spending the night with him. Besides, it’s kind of empowering being there since he owns the place. Yup, go figure. When he came clean about it I almost choked to death, and then laughed because I just couldn’t believe it. I thought he was joking at first but it all started making sense why he was there so much, because he lived there, that it was named The Classroom, and that he knew all the staff and clientele. I must say dating the boss has its perks. Everyone treats me like I’m an extension of him, so it sort of makes me co-boss, at least that’s what I say to Luther joking around.
He told me he thought of the idea when he was only nineteen years old, and really, what else does a nineteen-year-old boy think about other than sex, so it made perfect sense. His father, who owns a prestigious art gallery in Philadelphia, is obscenely rich and gave him the money to start it up with the stipulation that his father couldn’t have any affiliation with it at all. He thought it might hurt his precious reputation. The irony of that is there are quite a few clients that Luther got from his father’s circle. In owning an establishment such as Luther’s discretion is a must, so his father knows nothing of his friend’s kinky preferences. The Classroom started out small, while he juggled college and being a businessman, and then grew much bigger once he graduated and had more time to devote to his thriving house of sex.
Luther told me that he started it as a way to have a steady but good income, because it brought in very good money besides being fun, His true passion is in the arts. He loves art and literature, which is a plus for me, because we have spent so many nights together, him reading and me either studying or writing a paper, and he always enjoyed helping me if I asked. He graduated from Penn State and wanted to be a world literature professor but decided to mix it up, applying for more temporary positions, in different fields, which happens to be how he became my professor. He had an application on file at Bucknell, so they called him when Professor Herman had a sudden accident and had to be on leave for the rest of the year.
We talked so much on the nights I spent with him, but only after mind-blowing, all-consuming, soul-quenching sex. Since I didn’t see him every day, when I did, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other and he always made sure we were both completely fulfilled before anything else. Needless to say, we had very late dinners followed by hours of talking, usually with my head on his chest and my limbs sprawled across him, while he held me tight. Though the sex was out of this world, that was always my favorite part of our evenings. Just being us, together in our little bubble.
We talked about our families, and he was pleasantly surprised to find out that I, myself, came from money, though you would never guess that because I left all that behind in California. I don’t look or talk the part most of the time. Only when the situation requires it, then I can act my ass off, bringing out my sophisticated upbringing.
While I’m an only child, Luther has a younger brother, Darren, who he says is quite the wild child. Darren is twenty-three and also graduated from Penn State, but he hasn’t outgrown the typical college frat boy mentality or behavior. Luther says his main goals in life are, partying, having a good time, and getting in trouble. Drugs and alcohol being his two best friends. He bounces from menial job to menial job, usually being fired because of his poor attendance, or coming into work high or drunk, but Luther told me he’s a trust fund baby, so he doesn’t care and relies on that. Little does that guy know daddy is getting sick of it and is ready to cut him off. Eventually he’ll actually have to make his own living and be an adult.
Over the past weeks when we weren’t at the mansion, we would see each other in class. Sneaking glances at one another and being bold by stealing a few intimate moments after class once everyone else was gone.
We have even met for coffee a few times but always at the Starbucks off campus. Not very many students frequented the Starbucks because they were lazy and didn’t want to walk or didn’t have a car. Trish would always accompany us just in case there were prying eyes we could make it like an innocent meeting. Just a couple college kids meeting with their professor.
Speaking of Trish, she and Parker seem to be developing into something more as well, and she is the happiest I have ever seen her. They spend much more time together but that’s because she doesn’t have policies and rules to sneak around. For the first couple of weeks, I admit, I was constantly afraid that someone would see us together and put two and two together, the result ending in his termination and my expulsion, but graduation is two weeks away and there hasn’t been one incident yet. I’m crossing my fingers we make it through the last little bit of time and then we will be free. Be free to be us in public or anywhere we want for that matter, without worry, because my heart among other things are on the line.
When I made the decision to give this thing, us, a chance seven weeks ago, I didn’t think it was going to work. That we were doomed from the beginning. I never dreamed I would find the other half of me, the love of my life, or that he would bring sheer joy to my life. Granted it’s only been seven weeks, that doesn’t matter one bit. I fell hard and fast and I can’t wait for us to be official instead of sneaking around.
I have told him that I have fallen in love with him. That I am one hundred percent in love with him, and he has shared the same affections toward me. Telling me repeatedly how much he is in love with me as well and that I am stuck with him no matter what. That he isn’t going anywhere and that he will be by my side always, fiercely protecting and profoundly loving his angel, his pet name for me.
This week has been particularly hard because I haven’t seen him since class on Monday. Of course, we call and text each other when we aren’t together, but I usually see him a couple times a week, this week has been the only exception, and it’s lonely without him. My need for Luther increases tenfold with each passing day we aren’t together, and I don’t get my Luther fix. I will see him on Saturday, so I only have two more days, but I need to tell him how much I miss being in his arms, so I decide to call him immediately. I can’t wait another second to at least hear his voice.
“Hello?” A chipper high-pitch woman’s voice pierced my ears like a thousand daggers being hammered into my brain.
A woman? Why is a woman answering his phone? My stomach balls in a knot.
“Hi…um can I talk to Luther please?” Completely taken off guard, and a little confused.
“Oh, I’m sorry he’s not here right now, this is his wife, Sasha, is there something I can help you with?” Her voice sweet as honey.
In that moment, my whole world changed. Devastation hit like a meteor shattering my happy ever after and my heart along with it. The ground fell out from under me, and I felt like I was free falling into a black hole. I started to get lightheaded and had to sit on my bed dropping my hand to my leg my phone still in hand.
“Hello?” I heard the sickening sweet voice coming from my phone, but I couldn’t talk to her, so I disconnected the call without another word.
His wife? He’s married? I don’t understand. All the conversations we have had, and he didn’t think she was a good topic to bring up? Like maybe before he pursued me? If he told me then I wouldn’t be where I am sitting right now looking and feeling like a cheap fool. I can’t and won’t be that person. That homewrecking whore that everyone looks down on. I won’t be a part of that, I won’t be the other woman. I have morals and that I will stand my ground on. Lying cheating bastard, and finally, after the initial shock of what just happened, the flood gates opened, and I couldn’t hold back the tears streaming down my face.
I submerged myself all the way under my blankets, and cried for what seemed like hours, desperately clinging to Luther’s shirt, that’s always under my pillow, before finally falling asleep.
***
“Dude! What is wrong with you? I’ve been calling and calling, and you weren’t in Professor Newton’s class today! What the hell is going on? Why is your phone dead on the floor? Laney!” Trish shouted with worry, finally ripping the covers from my body. “Talk to me goddamnit. I have been worried sick!”
What did she just say? Professor Newton? With that I bolted upright in bed looking right at Trish.
“Professor Newton’s class is on Fridays. Trish calm down, I think you’re confused.” Wincing when I tried to rub my eyes. They hurt and felt like sandpaper from crying so much.
“It is Friday!” Trish said, sitting down on my bed in front of me, “Why the hell do you think I’ve been so worried? You don’t answer your phone, your face is all puffy like you have been crying for a century, and you don’t show up to class, which is totally not the Laney I know and love, now spill.”
“FUCK!” I yelled falling back on my bed covering my face with my hands. And just like that, the tears started anew.
I had cried and slept for almost two days, not speaking to anyone.
“Luther and I are over,” I replied through a strangled sob.
“No way! That’s crazy talk, what happened?”
“As it turns out he was harboring a dirty little secret, that happened to answer his phone yesterday. Sasha. His wife.”
“Shut the fuck up! Are you sure the chick is his wife? Are you sure you’re not just overreacting?”
“You can’t get any clearer than, ‘This is his wife, Sasha,’ now can you?” Sarcasm was oozing off my tongue.
“Well fuck me, I’m so sorry.” She climbed under the covers lying next to me, “I won’t even ask how you’re doing, I can see, but do you wanna talk about it?”
“No. I want tequila. I want to get so obliterated drunk that I won’t feel anymore. I just want to be numb, but I don’t have the energy to drag myself out of this bed to go anywhere.”
Alcohol not being allowed in our dorm rooms, means having to go out and drink.
“A raincheck on the tequila it is then, but I do have one question and then I’ll drop it. Have you talked to Luther since you talked to the supposed wife? I mean that just can’t be it. Maybe give him the benefit of the doubt?”
Not wanting to talk anymore I just shook my head no.
“I didn’t think so, seeing as how I found your phone lying on the floor like that, but you need to talk to him, Laney. At least give him a chance to explain himself and own up to it.”
I just rolled my head over to face Trish giving her an evil glare as a warning to shut up about it.
“Okay, okay, I’m done. We can just lie here, that’s fine by me.”
***
Tomorrow is my weekly class with that lying, cheating, Professor Devros but I’m not going. I know if I go he will only try and force me to talk to him and I can’t. It may sound like I’m overly harsh about all this to everyone else, but that’s my business. I don’t want to talk, and I don’t want to see him. I’m not leaving any room for him to cover up his lies with more lies. That only makes things messy, and that much more complicated.
Classes are all over on Tuesday so there are just exams the rest of the week, and we already took Luther’s exam last week, so all that will be left is the commencement ceremony on Saturday. After that I will be free. Instead of free to be with him, I’ll be flying back to California Saturday evening. It’s not what I truly want to do, but it will only be temporary until I figure out what I’m going to do. Going back home is just a pit stop along the way to my final destination.
My parents were going to come to graduation, but when I called my mom and told her there was a change in plans, and that I would be coming home instead, I insisted that they didn’t. Mom was more than disappointed saying how I was their only child and they should be there to watch their baby accept her diploma. The focus being on that rather than if her daughter is okay, but it is what it is. Besides, the last thing I want is for my parents to run into Luther, so it was safer that they didn’t come, just in case he tries anything. I told my mom that I had broken up with my boyfriend at school. I wasn’t about to tell her he was my professor. She would probably disown me for doing something so improper.
It’s going to be hard to break the news to Trish though. We had all these plans for after graduation seeing as we both ended up starting a life here. We were going to get an apartment together, locally, find jobs and live life on our own. We were both so excited for that day; I just hope she will forgive me for bailing on her too. I don’t like letting people down especially her since she’s been right here by my side, like two peas in a pod. She’s my best friend and I love her. I don’t want to leave her. I will be lost without her, but I need to get away from here, at least for a while. Who knows I may decide I want to come back eventually.
Which leads me to Luther. I finally charged my phone and turned it on since Trish made me, so she can check up on me after the stunt I pulled the other day. There were a gazillion missed calls, voice messages and texts from Luther. I listened and read some, but they were all the same thing. Him saying how sorry he was and that we needed to talk but he needed to do it in person, begging me to call him back or come over.
I deleted everything including the ones I didn’t listen to or read, and then blocked his number. I don’t intend on talking to him, so there was no need for them to keep coming through. There will be no temptation, it’s hard enough as it is. He doesn’t even know I won’t be in class, which I’m sure he’ll be disappointed about.
I’m taking the easy way out with I guess you could call it a ‘Dear John’ letter. I know, shitty right? I don’t care though because I don’t care what excuses he has. There is no excuse for lying about something as big as being married and I know if I see or talk to him he will weaken my resolve to do what’s right. I have already broken all the rules by getting involved with my professor, I’m not about to be a homewrecking whore on top of it.
Luther,
I know this is the coward’s way out and for that I’m deeply sorry, but I’m not sorry for what I have to say.
For some stupid reason I still feel that you should know that I’ll be returning home to California immediately following the commencement ceremony on Saturday, and I don’t know if I will ever be back.
I know this may be cruel, but words alone cannot express how deeply you have hurt me. You made me fall in love with you, and then shattered my heart. I trusted you explicitly when you swore to never hurt me. That you would fiercely protect and profoundly love me, but you lied, and that hurts like hell.
If you lied this time what else will you lie about in the future? That is a risk I’m not willing to take because the deeper you go the harder you fall, so I would rather stop while I’m ahead.
My mom always told me not to be a stupid girl. That true love isn’t like what you read in romance novels, it doesn’t just fall in your lap. I should have listened to her.
I have blocked your number, so your calls and texts won’t reach me, and I don’t want to see you. If nothing else, I ask that you please respect my wishes.
I can’t be with someone who can so easily lie to get what he wants. Regardless of what you may think, I do have morals and I can’t, I won’t, be in some torrid love triangle with a married man and his wife. Nor will I be some secret plaything you keep on the side when you get bored.
I will never forget you or the time we shared. I can only hope that over time the pain will lessen, but for right now it feels like a gaping wound that someone just poured a whole bottle of rubbing alcohol into.
I was a fool to even entertain the idea that we had something real, I won’t be that fool anymore.
I hope you and Sasha can be happy together.
Goodbye Luther.
Laney
A few tear drops wetting the paper as I wrote the hardest things I’ve ever had to write, to the one person I whole heartedly hoped I would never have to write them to. I truly believed that he was the one. My happy ever after.