Stark
“Got the girl. Saved the day. Punished the villains. Befriended the local law.” I was trying to focus on what Nassir was saying to me, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the debauchery and hedonism happening on the multiple monitors behind him. I thought I was fairly well versed in all the things that happened between consenting adults, but apparently, I was wrong. There were things happening on those screens I wouldn’t have dreamed up when I was feeling my most inspired. “You must be feeling pretty proud of yourself.”
I jerked my eyes away from a woman who was old enough to be my mother strapping a guy who was bigger than me, though several years older, face-down on some kind of table. She was buckling thick leather cuffs around his wrists and ankles. When he was secure, she pet him like he was an animal, soothing him before she rammed the biggest plug I had ever seen between his clenched ass cheeks. The guy bucked on the table and I winced in sympathy, baffled that Nassir seemed totally oblivious to it all.
When my gaze landed back on his, the golden gleam in his eyes was glowing with mirth and he was grinning at me. “The guy is a banker and the woman is a real estate developer. They’re both married to other people who prefer missionary and lights out sex. They meet up once a month and do their thing. I give them a place to play and they both let me snap up property for a song. It’s an arrangement that works well for all of us.”
I shook my head and refused to look anywhere but at him. He’d called and asked me to come down to discuss a new service he was considering. He wouldn’t give me any more details, and I would have blown him off since he was being evasive, but I wouldn’t have Noe in my house and in my bed every night if it weren’t for him. We both knew it, and Nassir wasn’t a man who squandered his leverage when he had it.
“The outcome would have been much different without you, not that I’m telling you something that you don’t already know. Cut to the chase and tell me why you summoned me down here in the middle of the night.” Before Noe, time had no meaning, I didn’t care that he woke me up and monopolized my time. Now it hurt to roll away from her warm body and head out into the night. I had someone I wanted to be around for, someone I wanted to keep safe. I needed to give the Devil his due so he couldn’t pull on my leash when it suited him.
He laced his fingers together and put them under his chin. He watched me unblinkingly and I wished he were easier to read. I felt like he was toying with me and I had to fight the urge to squirm under his scrutiny.
“Booker ran down the plan you had to bring Goddard down before the girl came forward with her story. I was already impressed with how quickly you stripped him of his office and how thoroughly you decimated his reputation. You never exhibited that ruthless streak in any of the other endeavors you took on for me. Frankly, I didn’t know you had it in you.” I shouldn’t feel the shot of pride that zipped through me when he said he was impressed, but I did. Nassir wasn’t impressed by much. “I’d like to see more of it.”
“Taking Goddard down mattered to me.” Sometimes justice wasn’t blind. Sometimes it could see crystal clear.
“What if I told you that your skill set, the way you get to men in power, is something I could use? There are places I can’t reach, things I can’t control, but if you do for me what you intended for Goddard, well,” he rocked back in his chair. “I would be unstoppable. I could take control of the Hill as well as the Point. I could make significant changes to both.”
I closed my eyes briefly and turned his words over in my head. “Are you asking me to be your digital assassin, Nassir?”
He chuckled softly and leaned forward so he could put his hands on his desk. “I am asking you to help me take the power from men who have done nothing to deserve it. I always knew there was more to you than your ability to hack into bank accounts and do background checks. You are an asset, Stark. Some men deserve to die and some men deserve to simply wish they were dead. I enjoy the idea of ruining lives without bloodshed. It is a very marketable skill. I see dollar signs when I close my eyes and imagine it.”
I watched him carefully as I lifted my hand to my mouth and rubbed my thumb along my bottom lip. “Are you going to kill me if I turn you down?”
It was a fair question, but I was surprised at the way it made his eyes flicker in annoyance. “No. I still have use for you either way.” And since I owed him, he would work me until I couldn’t see straight. He was a businessman, after all.
I met his gaze but shifted uneasily in my seat. “Titus asked me to help him out at the station. Now that most of the bad apples have been shaken from the tree, he’s pushing the department forward into this century. He needs my help with that. It’s honest work, above board.”
His dark head tilted to the side as he considered me silently. After a long moment he asked, “Does it matter what side you’re on as long as you believe in what you’re doing? There is no black or white in this scenario, Stark. We are all making the best of the gray that surrounds us.”
I exhaled and put my hands on my knees as I leaned toward his desk. “Look, Nassir.” I rolled my shoulders and looked back to the live action porno playing behind his head. “Poking around the Internet, looking at bank records, and digging into people’s backgrounds is nothing. If I start messing with the big picture, start exposing your enemies and making life difficult for them, the people I’ve been trying to fool for years will come knocking. At least if I’m working with the police, they can’t threaten me with jail. They can’t scare me by threatening to hurt Noe. They won’t have a reason to come after me.”
Nassir got to his feet and unbuttoned his suit jacket. He crossed his hands behind his back and started to pace back and forth on the other side of the desk that separated us. He was looking at his feet instead of me when he quietly told me, “The feds don’t need a reason to come for you, Stark. They think they own you, that you’re their property, and if they decide they want you back, they will come for you no matter where you are or what you’re doing. Wouldn’t you rather have both me and the cop at your back? Why not cover all your bases?”
I was so stunned that he knew my story, I couldn’t speak. I gaped at him wordlessly as he paused mid-step and turned on me. He put his hands on the center of his desk and leaned forward, his body coiled and tense under his perfectly tailored suit.
“I know what it’s like to be ripped from your life by the supposed good guys. I know what it’s like to be turned into a weapon, into a cold-blooded killer. I had my humanity stripped from me and I fought to get it back.”
“How . . . what do you know?” I was still stunned and having a hard time making my words work.
“Race told me you disappeared one day. That your family was pulled apart. He also told me that the government showed an unnatural interest in you from the start. That they had an agenda where you were concerned. Been there, done that. I believed the promises I was told as well. One more mission. One more assignment. One more kill. I owed them. It was my duty. It was all for the greater good.” He scoffed, and for a second, I saw everywhere he’d been and everything he’d done to become the man standing in front of me now. I never would have guessed that I had something in common with Nassir Gates, but there it was, the same things in our past that made us cold and emotionless until the right person came along and rattled all the rusty metal that caged us. “I won’t let them take you out from under my nose, Stark. Neither will the cop. You have us at your back, whether you want us there or not. You are one of the few things King and I agree on.”
I rubbed my hands over my short hair and shoved down the lump that had clogged my throat. “That sounds like you think of me as more than an asset.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You are one of my people. I do what it takes to keep what is mine safe.”
“You and the cop sound more alike than either of you realize.” They had the same mission, only they went at it from drastically different angles.
“Work with me, Stark. If you do, I’ll make sure you and your girl want for nothing. When I first landed in the Point, I went looking for papers. I needed a new identity. I needed to become the man who was going to make his mark here. Your girl is good; she’s been helping rich kids and scared runaways become other people for a long time. I can use someone like her on the payroll. She won’t have to hide in the shadows and slink through the dark. I’ll make this work for all of us.”
I doubted she would take him up on the offer. My little thief didn’t answer to anyone and she wasn’t for sale. I would appreciate having her under Nassir’s protection and knowing she was safely tucked away in his pocket, but I had a feeling she would feel stifled there. The last thing I wanted was for her to push against someone who was so willing to push back. “Let me run it by Noe and see what she says.”
I wasn’t alone anymore. I wasn’t sleepwalking. I was wide awake and present in every single moment. She had given me my purpose back. She had reminded me of my worth. She kept saying that she had taken her dignity back, but I told her she’d never lost it. She was the most dignified person I’d ever met. She made me believe I was special, not because I was always the smartest guy in the room, not because I was the biggest or the best, but because I was me. She didn’t mind that I was quiet and often thinking. She didn’t care that I wasn’t smooth or sophisticated. She didn’t cower away from my bad dreams or the fact my sluggish heart was struggling to keep up with her.
“One lesson I’ve learned and learned well is that there cannot be heroes without villains. You have to have one in order to appreciate the qualities in the other.” Nassir’s words rang oddly true.
“What about someone who hovers between the two? Someone who plays either role when it suits him? What’s there to appreciate about someone like that?” I straddled the line daily, drifting either direction depending on the day and the circumstance.
“You appreciate his intelligence because that is a smart, smart man. Anyone who can play both sides is someone you don’t want to underestimate.”
I got to my feet and inclined my chin in his direction. “You let me have veto power. I get to choose when and where I work. If I decide the target isn’t worth the time or effort, you let me opt out, no questions asked.”
I thought he would refuse. He wasn’t a guy who gave anyone else any of the power. Slowly, he nodded and moved to cross his arms over his chest. “Anything else?”
“I’m not going to be a ping pong ball between you and the cop. What I do for you stays here and what I do for him stays at the station, even if it’s something that might hurt your business. I’m not going to betray either of you. I won’t.”
Nassir snorted, the sound weirdly elegant as he lifted his eyebrows at me. “You do remember Titus’s very pregnant girlfriend is on my payroll? We might not like each other, and we definitely don’t agree with how the other handles their business, but we are acutely aware of the fact that we need each other. I won’t pit you against the cop, and I assure you, he won’t use you to try and hang me.”
Pushing my luck, I told him, “I need to have access to the target’s computer. I need someone small, nimble, and quick on their feet. Someone who knows their way around electronics.” Someone fearless and clever.
Almost as if he could read my mind, he pointed out, “You just described your girlfriend.”
I grunted in agreement, not wanting to think about how easy it would be to talk her into doing something so risky and dangerous. She still lived wild, even though she had taken up permanent residence in my townhouse. It was going to be impossible to keep her away when I told her what I was doing. Her righteous streak was a mile wide and now that she had a taste of setting things right, she wanted more. She was a bona fide crusader. I wondered if I could talk her into a spandex body suit and a cape?
“If anything happened to her . . .” I trailed off because he didn’t need me to finish that statement.
“You don’t let a damn thing happen to her and she makes sure nothing happens to you. No one else has as much of a vested interest in watching your ass.” That was true.
Grumbling under my breath, I stuck my hand out and watched as he gave it a firm shake. “Thanks for,” letting me know I wasn’t alone. That I wasn’t crazy. That I wasn’t the only one on this great, rotating rock that had been molded into something I never wanted to be. For making me feel slightly more normal and accepted. For getting involved when it didn’t benefit him at all. For giving a shit. “Everything.”
“Everything comes with a price, Stark. Don’t forget that.”
Like I could when he constantly reminded me. I gave him a gruff farewell and made my way out of the club. I ran into Chuck on my way out so we bumped knuckles and he congratulated me on a job well done. He was a man who had spent most of his life watching out for the girls of the Point, so he didn’t bother to disguise his glee that I’d made a couple of abusers bleed. He told me he heard about the beat down I gave the lawyer and urged me to get in the circle. I told him I was a thinker not a fighter, and he laughed and told me I was both.
Wanting to get back to my bed and the woman in it, I didn’t try and argue. I’d only ever used my fists to protect the things I cared about and I wanted to keep it that way. If I fought just because I could, just because I knew how and was good at it, I’d be no better than what the men who took me from my family and killed everything inside of me wanted me to be. I was ready to be more than that.
When I got back to my townhouse, I started stripping as soon as I hit the steps that led to the bedroom. I kicked off my boots, dropped my belt on the floor, and stripped my shirt off. I was leaving a trail to the bed that Noe was going to bitch about in the morning, but I didn’t care. I wanted to feel her soft skin pressed into mine. I couldn’t wait to be wrapped up in her sleepy warmth.
I tossed my glasses on the nightstand and my jeans landed on the floor with a thud as I pulled back the comforter and slid underneath. I was reaching for her at the same time she moved into me. Her dusky skin shone in the pale light coming from outside and her eyes roved over me, making sure I was in one piece.
“What did he want this time?” She wasn’t a fan of Nassir’s midnight business meetings and now that she was in my bed, neither was I.
“He offered me a job.” I pushed my knee between her bare legs and pulled her closer until we were pressed tightly together. She had on one of those shirts that barely covered her tits and stopped halfway up her back and a pair of cotton underwear. I never knew that the combination of sexy and serviceable could be such a turn on, but then again, anything on her made my dick hard, even when she dressed like a boy.
“Man, you’ve got job offers pouring in from all over the place lately. What did you tell him?” Her voice hitched when I caught the side of her panties between my fingers and started to work them down over her slim hips. I’d fucked her in the shower before we went to bed and she’d sucked me off this morning before we’d gotten out of bed. We couldn’t get enough of each other and I silently prayed that it never changed. I’d never been the beast people compared me to until she came along. She turned me into a hungry, uncontrollable animal. She made my mind go quiet and my body scream. She brought out my carnal side and I embraced that primal part of myself.
“I told him I was in as long as I got to call the shots. I’m too smart to say no to Nassir.” I kissed her on the top of her nose and used my thumb to press my dick into her soft cleft. She was warm with sleep and silky in the way that only women were. I stroked my erection through her folds, making sure to catch her clit with the tip as her sleepy body started to respond. “He has some pretty clear ideas about how you fit into everything as well, but we can talk about that later. Were you dreaming of me?”
One of her hands had wrapped around my neck and her fingers were scratching lightly over the skin there. The other was resting on my ribs as her knee hiked farther up on my hip so I could rock more fully into her growing moisture.
“Maybe. Maybe I’m still dreaming.” Her lips touched mine, her tongue darting out to trace the divot in my upper lip. “Sometimes I think you’re too good to be true. It all has to be a dream.”
When her breathing quickened, I grabbed the back of her thigh and pulled her leg even higher up. I grabbed the base of my cock and lined myself up with her entrance. I felt her body pull at mine, always eager, always ready, and it made me less than gentle as I pushed into her. I took her hard, settled in deep as she quivered along every hard inch. She shuddered against me, her hand slipping from my ribs to grab onto my ass. The muscle clenched reflexively as I bottomed out inside of her. I wanted her ruined for anyone who wasn’t me. I wanted her to feel the loss of my cock when it wasn’t buried deep inside of her.
I grunted and deepened the playful kiss she gave me. I thrust into her harder with each word I spoke. “I was caught in a nightmare before you, Noe. You woke me up.”
She sighed against my lips, held me close. “Your mouth. I like it when it’s filthy, but I love it when it’s sweet.”
That made me grin at her and I proceeded to move into her and over her as I told her she was the best I’d ever had. I told her she was sexier than anything I’d ever seen, that I could taste her on my tongue when I closed my eyes, that she made me hard when she smiled at me and when she pushed my buttons. I told her I liked her mind and her body. I told her I was entranced by her fire and her fight. I swore to her that I wouldn’t leave her and promised her again that if she left, I would find her. I whispered that she was the reason I remembered what it felt like to love someone. She was the only person I liked every single piece of.
When she came, she did it crying and screaming my name at the same time. I had claw marks on my back and her legs wrapped around my waist. When I came, she told me I reminded her what home felt like and that I was the only person who made her feel safe. She told me I was the only person she liked every single part of.
This was intimacy, the connection we’d both been missing. We were good together when we fucked. We were good together when we fought. We were unbeatable when we put our minds together. But more than any of that, we were the best versions of ourselves when we were together . . . period.
Nassir had to fight for his humanity, I’d had to find mine. It was dressed like a boy living on the streets and running from a past that was almost as bleak as mine. She reminded me I was a man and not a machine. She made me bleed and beg. She made me promise and pray. She turned all the metal and iron inside me to soft, malleable things.
I was putty in her small hands, and I’d never been happier to be shaped into something new and vital.
I was never going to be the man my mother wanted me to be or the one my sister needed. I wasn’t going to be who my father tried to mold me into or who the government trained me to be.
None of that mattered, because at the end of the day, I could and would be Noe Lee’s hero. The man who kept her safe. The man she leaned on and turned to for help. I could be the man she trusted and relied on. I was the only man she let in, the only one she let catch her, and that was all I ever needed to be.