18
When Jules walked downstairs the next morning, she was overwhelmed with the delicious smell of fresh baked bread and coffee. Her stomach grumbled, reminding her that she and Nick hadn’t eaten much the night before. They’d scrounged around the fridge for some leftover spanakopita and roasted chicken, but neither of them had felt much like eating. Nick had been too worried about his dad while she’d been too worried about Nick.
He’d gone back to the hospital after dinner to visit with his dad again and bring his mom home, but Jules had stayed back getting caught up on email. She’d told her dad that she wasn’t at work because she wasn’t feeling well, but she wasn’t sure how long that excuse would hold out before someone got suspicious. Once finished with her emails, she’d gone to bed early, trying her best not to intrude on their family time.
“Mom, it’s only the three of us. This is too much.” Jules heard Nick’s voice coming from the kitchen before she made it down the stairs. He’d gone down ahead of her a few minutes ago.
“Four. I told Alex to stop by with galatopita from the restaurant.” Nick must’ve pulled a face or something because his mom said, “What? I don’t know what your girl likes. I want her to be happy here.”
Nick chuckled, and as Jules rounded the corner she saw him put his arm around his mom’s shoulders and pull her into a hug. He kissed the top of her head and said, “I appreciate that, but you’re tired and upset. We don’t expect you to take care of us while we’re here.”
They were standing in front of the sink, and his mom turned off the water and placed her hand on his chest. “Taking care of you makes me feel better, Nico. Let me do this, huh?”
He sighed. “Okay, Mom.”
They stood like that for a little longer, his arms around her, her hand gently patting his chest, both of them taking comfort in the other. “It’ll be okay,” his mother whispered.
Jules was struck by the poignancy of the moment. Nick was so big and strong compared to his mother, but he needed her to tell him everything would be fine. And his mother apparently took some comfort in taking care of her family. The scene made Jules think back to memories of her own mother. Sure, there’d been happy times, but they’d been few and far between. The last time Jules had spoken to her, Jules had casually mentioned that she’d met someone. Her mother’s advice had been, “Run, before he turns on you.” It had left Jules feeling isolated and wondering why she’d even bothered to share that information in the first place. Her mom’s reaction was a far cry from the show of support she was seeing in front of her right now. Her chest ached with a strange sort of longing she didn’t know how to process.
It struck her then that she was intruding on a very private moment, and she started to back out of the kitchen but realized she’d walked in too far to slip out unnoticed. “Good morning,” she said, her voice a bit too cheerful. She tried again in a more normal tone. “Something smells amazing.”
Nick smiled at her. His mom pulled away and dabbed at the corner of her eye before turning to offer Jules a smile. “Good morning. Did you sleep well? Nico, pour her some coffee, will you?” Jules had met Nick’s mom the night before when Nick had brought her home from the hospital, but the conversation had been brief after the long day everyone had had. Truth be told, she was looking forward to getting to know his family.
Jules nodded. “I did.” She hadn’t. Nick had climbed into bed late, and she’d held him until he’d finally dozed off into a restless sleep. But she wasn’t about to complain to this woman who’d seen her husband have a heart attack the day before and had still managed to get up and make breakfast for her family this morning. His mother smiled, but her face was tired. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she was still in her robe. She turned to the stove to finish scrambling eggs. Jules walked over to Nick and took the cup of coffee he held out for her, stroking a hand down his arm to silently convey her appreciation. He’d even put in the right amounts of cream and sugar. He walked back to the kitchen table with her and took a seat next to her.
“Thank you for cooking breakfast, Mrs. Giannakis.”
“I always like to make sure my boys eat,” she said from the stove. “And please, call me Maria.”
A steaming loaf of olive bread sat in the middle of the table. It was surrounded by plates of sliced cheese, tomatoes, smoked pork, and bowls of fresh olives and mixed fruit. Next to them sat a large dish of yogurt drizzled with honey and chopped walnuts on top. Turning off the stove, his mother scraped the eggs into a serving dish and added that to the table. “Go ahead and start,” she urged, her voice warm. “Alex will be here soon.”
As if on cue, Alex walked in the back door, a pink bakery box in hand. “Good morning . . .” His gaze swept the room, lighting on Jules as if he’d forgotten she was there. “Everyone,” he finished, his voice cooling noticeably. Walking over to his mom, he gave her a hug and handed over the box. Only when he saw she was fine did he join Jules and Nick at the table. Alex nodded at his brother as he sat down, but refused to look directly at Jules. She couldn’t help but feel as though he wasn’t happy about her being here. She couldn’t blame him, because she knew that he probably didn’t trust her after what had happened. But at the same time, Nick wanted her here and she wanted to support him.
Deciding to ignore Alex, she smiled at Nick’s mom as the woman put the pie she’d pulled out of the box onto the table. “I’ve never had that before,” Jules said.
His mother nodded as if she’d expected that. “Galatopita is milk pie. It’s made with milk and eggs. It was Nico’s favorite as a boy.” She cut out a large piece and Jules held out her plate when she offered it to her.
“And don’t forget plenty of sugar,” Nick said, shaking his head when his mom offered him a slice. “Can’t. I have the tournament coming up.”
“But it’s a tiny piece,” she pressed, trying to give him a slice that was arguably a quarter of the pie.
“Mom, I have to cut weight.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes, but gave the piece to Alex instead. Alex happily cut a piece off with his fork and took a bite, smiling at Nick as he chewed. Nick looked so miserable watching his brother eat something he apparently loved that Jules couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “Here, take a little bite of mine.” She held out a bite for him and he ate it, closing his eyes as if it was the best thing ever. Everyone except Alex laughed, and for a moment it was as if they were just a normal family sitting around the breakfast table without the shadow of near tragedy hanging over them. It felt good. His mom asked a few polite questions about Jules’ family and her job, but Jules could tell she wasn’t really paying attention to the answers. She was too worried. Her gaze kept going to the single coffee cup left hanging on a hook above the coffeemaker. It had World’s Best Dad written on the side and looked stained and chipped.
When everyone was finished, Jules picked up Nick’s plate along with her own. “Let me do the dishes.”
Maria stood. “You don’t have to do that. You’re a guest here.”
“It’s okay. Please let me help.” Jules gave Nick a pointed look when his mom carried some dishes to the sink.
He nodded and went over to put a hand on his mom’s shoulder. “Let us take care of it, Mom. Take your time getting ready.”
She put a hand to her pinned-up hair and looked at the clock on the stove. “It’s almost eight. I told your dad I’d be back in time for his consultation this morning.”
“Go get dressed. It’s okay,” Nick said.
She patted his cheek. The gesture was so tender it made Jules’ chest ache. “Okay, I’ll be fast.” Then she turned and said, “Thank you, Jules,” before making her way up the stairs.
Jules carried another load of dishes to the sink to rinse them before loading them into the dishwasher. Nick came up behind her and put his hands on her hips as he kissed her neck. “Thanks,” he whispered.
“No problem.” She smiled and turned her head for a quick kiss. “Why don’t you go spend some time with your brother? I’ll finish in here.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. “I’ll be fine.”
He gave her a squeeze and then followed Alex into the living room. Their voices carried through the open doorway between the two rooms. Jules couldn’t make out every word, but it sounded like Alex was remembering a story involving their dad and the family restaurant. Nick laughed, and if she was honest, Jules experienced a pang of jealousy. She was glad that he had his family. That they had such a happy and rich history together. But she was also envious. She’d really gotten screwed in the childhood department.
Jules took her time cleaning up, wanting to give them as much time alone as possible. Maria kept an immaculate kitchen, so when Jules was satisfied that every crumb had been picked up, she made her way to the living room. She was surprised to find it empty and realized the voices were coming from a small room off to the side. Following the sound, she paused just outside an archway that led into a small den she hadn’t noticed earlier. A bookcase filled with Greek titles stared back at her. Nick sat on a brown leather couch at the far end of the room. She caught a faint whiff of old cigar smoke and wondered if this place was his father’s room.
She meant to walk into the room, but then Alex turned to face Nick, his arms out at his sides. “There’s nothing you can say or do to convince me that this relationship is a good idea, Nick. She hurt you once, she’ll do it again.” Alex’s voice was loud, not in anger, but in frustration.
Her heart pounded in her ears, and she took a step backward. She should go, but she wanted to hear Nick’s response. After several long seconds, she got her wish.
“Yeah, she hurt me, but I forgave her. Things aren’t always black and white.”
“I guess it’s easy to forgive her when she looks like that,” said Alex, his voice rising.
Of course Alex hated her. He loved his brother and had witnessed firsthand the way she’d broken Nick’s heart. And now he was giving Nick a hard time for bringing her to Chicago.
“Fuck you,” said Nick, his voice louder and angrier than before.
“Where has she been this past year, Nico? Where was she when you won the belt? Where was she when you hurt your shoulder and thought you might need surgery? She didn’t care about any of that.”
She flinched at the accusations, and her hands shook as she ran her palms over her thighs. Alex was right. She hadn’t been there, and she hated that. The last thing she wanted to do was to bring strife into his family when they were going through such a difficult time. Maybe this was a sign that she didn’t belong here. But she couldn’t bring herself to walk away. She stood, paralyzed, as Nick and Alex argued.
“You ever stop to wonder why I’m hitting such a nerve?” Alex asked. “It’s because you know I’m right.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Fine. You don’t think I’m right, but you’re scared that I am. If everything was perfect and you didn’t think she was gonna pull another disappearing act, you wouldn’t be freaking the fuck out when I tell you to be careful. You might’ve forgiven her, but I doubt you’ve forgotten the hell she put you through.”
She closed her eyes against the painful truth of Alex’s words. She couldn’t blame him for not believing she was good enough for his brother.
Nick let out a sound, almost a snarl, and rose from the couch, brushing by Alex as he paced to the window. A heavy silence settled over the room.
Nick’s voice was raspy when he finally spoke. “I want to believe that you’re wrong. That you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” He took a deep breath, his shoulders falling. “But I can’t. Because I am scared. I don’t want to be, but I am. I want everything with her, and if she . . . if we don’t . . . I’m trusting history not to repeat itself here.”
She pressed her fingers against her mouth and swallowed around the ache in her throat. Hearing that he didn’t believe she was all in hurt, because no matter how good things had been between them lately, he’d been holding a piece of himself back.
Alex sighed. “I don’t want to fight, Nick. I just want you to see what I see. What would you say to me if the situation were reversed?” His voice was quieter now, more measured.
Nick turned, and Jules wanted to throw up at the pained expression on his face. “I know. But she’s trying, and you being a shit doesn’t help.”
Alex ducked his head and then nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just . . . She wrecked you, man. So even though you’ve forgiven her, I guess I haven’t.”
“Forgiveness doesn’t mean that I think what she did was okay,” said Nick, speaking slowly. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel shitty about the way she ended things. It doesn’t mean we don’t have stuff to work out.” He sighed. “It means that I’m trying to make peace with what happened. She’s not perfect, but neither am I.”
“What if she hurts you again? What if all you’re doing is perpetuating this toxic cycle?”
“I don’t know.” Nick shrugged.
Careful of the floorboards under her feet, she turned and hurried upstairs and into Nick’s room, easing the door closed behind her. Her heart hammered in her chest, and she pressed a hand to her cheek as she sank down onto the mattress.
Doubt after doubt barreled into her. The doubt that she’d ever fit in with Nick’s family. The doubt that Alex would ever accept her. The doubt that she could be the partner Nick deserved—supportive and loving. The doubt that she wouldn’t fuck everything up and send Nick running into the arms of someone less damaged. The doubt that she and Nick wouldn’t crash and burn because even though she was trying, she couldn’t change her DNA, or forget about the scars from her childhood. She’d had nothing but terrible examples growing up. It was as though no one had ever really taught her how to swim, and now she was in the middle of a lake, trying to figure out how to keep her head above water.
The thoughts swamped her and she dropped her head into her hands, taking several deep breaths as she tried to sort through everything. But when it came down to it, there were only two things she knew for certain.
One: she was hopelessly in love with Nick.
Two: not even love could save her from drowning if she didn’t figure out how to swim.
“Maria, please, I’m fine, okay? I don’t need a blanket. Just come sit with me.” Nick’s father patted the empty space beside him on the sofa.
Nick stood by the window in his father’s study, savoring the sight of his father on the old brown leather sofa. Home, where he belonged.
“You want your slippers?” his mom asked, her hands fluttering at her sides.
“No, darling. I just want to sit with you. Please.”
At that, his mother smiled and sank down onto the sofa beside him, leaning into him as he put his arm around her shoulders. Alex came back into the room, a glass of water in his hand. He handed it to their father along with a couple of pills for his blood pressure and cholesterol. He took them without a fuss, setting the glass on the coffee table beside the sofa.
The doctors had kept his father in the hospital for three days to run tests and keep him under observation, while giving him time to rest and recover. Earlier that morning, they’d said he could go home, and Nick and Alex had signed him out and driven him straight here. He was under strict instructions to take it easy for the next several days, but his overall prognosis was good. The heart attack hadn’t just scared Nick, it had scared his father as well, and he knew he’d take the lifestyle changes required of him seriously. Once his father set his mind to something, it was as good as done. It was one of the many things Nick admired about him.
Jules poked her head into the room, and Nick sent her a smile. She returned it, but it didn’t quite meet her eyes. For the past couple of days she’d been in a quiet mood, most likely trying to stay out of the way. She’d remained home with his mom, helping her tidy up, and although it was a simple gesture, it was one that had made him feel all warm and gushy inside. He knew family stuff wasn’t easy for Jules, but she and his mom were getting along well. Last night while Jules had been working, his mom had taken him aside and told him how much she liked her, “despite what Alex said.” It made Nick happy that his mom liked Jules. And it pissed him off that Alex had told her about their history. Although they’d mostly moved past it, a part of him was still pissed at Alex, not because of what he’d said, but because of the way he’d called Nick out on his fears. The fact that Alex was still being a dick to Jules didn’t help either.
Nick stepped forward and motioned her into the room. “Dad, this is my girlfriend, Jules.”
His father smiled warmly and clasped her extended hand between both of his. “Hello, Jules. It’s nice to meet you.”
Jules returned his smile. “It’s nice to meet you too. How are you feeling?”
“Better than a few days ago, I can tell you that. Happy to be home. Come, sit. Let’s talk.” He gestured at the armchair adjacent to the sofa. Alex moved out of the way, brushing coldly by Jules. Anger flared up in Nick’s chest, but he tamped it down. He wasn’t about to pick a fight in front of their father.
Jules talked easily with his father, patiently answering all of his questions about her job, where she grew up, her family. He asked if she had any hobbies, what kind of books she liked to read. If she wanted to get married and have babies. She’d blushed slightly at that, ducking her head and chewing her lip. But her quiet yes had sent Nick’s heart thundering in his chest.
After Jules chatted with his father for a while, her phone buzzed and she politely excused herself to answer it. She’d been doing her best to stay on top of work while here, waking early to answer emails and taking phone calls throughout the day.
His father nodded approvingly. “Such a nice girl, Nico. I like her. Very beautiful. Very smart.”
Nick sank down into Jules’ chair, still warm from her body. “She is. I’m glad you like her. I like her too.”
His father sat back, his hands folded over his stomach. “Only like?” he asked, a skeptical eyebrow inching up his forehead.
Nick let out a half laugh, half sigh. “More than like.”
His father nodded knowingly, and Nick wished he could savor this moment without the doubts Alex had raised intruding, tarnishing it.
If only he could be sure that Alex wasn’t right.