PROLOGUE

Drake

Four Years Ago

“Dinner’s ready, babe!” Shannon called. Her sweet southern voice echoed up the staircase, as I stepped out the shower.

“Just finishing up baby, be right out!”

I stared into my reflection in the mirror, quietly thanking the cosmos for blessing me with more than I’d ever deserve. I had best fucking wife known to man, and I didn’t deserve her or that precious little girl that was waiting for me to come downstairs and join them for dinner.

I smiled as I threw on a shirt and my jeans, a nervous energy running through me as I thought about the night ahead.

I dashed down the stairs like a bat out of hell.

“Daddy!” Ava called from her seat at the table next to my wife.

She shot me a toothy grin, throwing her hands in the air as I passed by. I picked her up, and Ava squealed with delight, a high-pitched laughter bubbling up out of her. It was the best sound. I hugged her tight and spun her around. Shannon shook her head at our antics, trying not to laugh.

“Oh, you two. Sit, eat,” she said. “We're gonna be late as it is.” The frown lines on her beautiful face told me she meant business. She always had the cutest expressions when she was serious.

“Gotta do as mommy says. She’s the boss, you know?”

I kissed Ava on the head before putting her back down into her high chair. Her smile quickly turned upside down. Her second-year birthday had just passed, and she was growing up too damn quickly.

“Hey now, don't be sad, darlin',” I said. “You're gonna see daddy play guitar tonight. Won't that be fun?”

“Daddy plays guitar?” she said, eyes wide. “Can I play?”

“After the show, baby girl, promise,” I said, ruffling her blonde hair.

She'd gotten her blonde curls from her mama, but her big, brown eyes were all me.

“You’re gonna knock em dead, sweetheart,” Shannon said.

“Thank you,” I said, kissing her on the cheek.

“Be careful driving in the rain baby. I’d drive you myself, but I need to be there early for setup, and you’d be bored to death waiting for us. Just remember, there's a band on before me, so no need to rush.”

“Thank you, babe. We won’t wait too long. I want to get the best seat in the house. Hey, have I told you lately how proud I am of you?” Her blue eyes sparkling as she took my hand and squeezed it tight.

“You work all day in the fields, and then burn the midnight oil at night in practice. I don’t know how you do it. I'm in awe of you. Really babe.”

“You're both worth it, trust me. Besides, Paul’s my helping hand, and he helps to pick up where I leave off every day. Don’t know what I’d do without him.”

Shannon passed a delicious platter of meatloaf my way, and I loaded my plate up with steamed veggies on the side, along with a healthy dollop of mashed potatoes. She'd been trying to get me to eat greens for a while now, so I humored her and put a few pieces of broccoli on my plate – hidden behind the mountain-sized mound of mashed potatoes.

Shannon chuckled but didn't say anything, and I winked at her. “Hey, at least I'm eating some greens. Baby steps, darlin'.”

“Baby steps,” she said with a grin and chuckled at my comment. It always filled me up to see her laugh. Her smile went all the way to her eyes.

God, she was beautiful.

We had been high school sweethearts. Friends told us, first love, never last, but there we were – happily married with a daughter, and many more babies in our future – if I had my way.

I'd inherited my dad's grand ranch after he passed. It was a lot of upkeep, but it provided a good, steady living. We had a roof over our heads and food on our table, but I wanted more for my family. I wanted Ava to grow up knowing that she could follow her dreams, whatever those would be.

My dreams were obvious. Outside of being a father and husband, I wanted to play music – and make a living doing it. Sure, ranch life was nice, but music was what brought me to life.

As we ate, Shannon had to urge Ava to eat more veggies. The apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

“I wrote a song for you,” I said, looking directly at Shannon.

“You did?” she said, her cheeks flushing. “Another one?”

“I saved it for tonight,” I said. “About you and baby girl. You two have make me the luckiest man alive.”

Shannon leaned into me, resting her head against my shoulder. Her long, silken blonde hair was pressed against my face and smelled like orange blossoms. I kissed the top of her head, and we went back to eating.

I looked at the time. “Shit,” I muttered, then I noticed Ava watching me. “You didn’t heart that from me. Sorry, darlin'. I'm running late.”

I stood, plate in hand to take it into the kitchen, but Shannon stopped me. She grabbed my arm, and I stared down into those heavenly blue eyes of hers.

“I'll get it, babe,” she said. “You go on. We'll meet you at the club.”

Leaning down, I kissed her lips, holding her face in my hands. I pulled back and looked into her eyes. So deep. So blue.

“God, I love you,” I said.

She smacked my ass gently with a coy smile on her face. “You better be up for showing me how much you love me later this evening,” she said. “Don't wear yourself out too much up on stage. I have a surprise for you tonight.”

I felt a growing tightness in my jeans as I pictured the night ahead. I imagined Shannon in her sexy little nightie, laying on our bed, waiting for me. She was the only woman I'd ever want in this world. Her sweet face stared back at me, and while she looked sweet and innocent, I knew she enjoyed being a naughty kitten behind closed doors. She was damn good at it too. She knew how to rile me up in the best way.

Ava had mashed potatoes all over her face, but I leaned down to kiss her anyway. She smeared potatoes all over my shirt and made a huge mess of things. Shannon handed me a napkin, and I tried to wipe it up, but it was all over. All I could do was laugh.

“I love you, baby girl,” I said.

“Lah you, daddy,” she said, her brown eyes cheerful and happy. I ruffled her blonde little head one last time before I hurried out the door.

Shannon shouted behind me, “Love you. Drive safe.”

“You too, babe,” I said. “I'll see you soon.”

“And don't forget your guitar!” she added.

Shit. I closed the door and ran over to where I kept my guitar in the corner of our small living room.

“Guitar!” Ava cooed. “I play guitar?”

“Later, sweetie,” Shannon said, wiping the potatoes off our little girl's face. “After daddy's show, okay?”

“Okay,” Ava said, pouting slightly.

I waved as I hurried on out. I rushed to my pickup truck and threw my guitar in the back. Thankfully, tonight's show was at a family-friendly restaurant in town, not the usual smoky bars and clubs. It was one of the first shows Ava would get to attend, and I was looking forward to seeing my daughter in the crowd. She'd be up past her bedtime, but both Shannon and I agreed it’d be worth it. She'd finally get to see daddy perform, in front of a crowd. It might be a small crowd for now, but one day, we’d fill stadiums.

I pulled up to the restaurant and parked, my drummer, Landon, was already waiting for me by the back door.

“Took you long enough,” Landon joked.

“Yeah, well, when you have a wife like mine, you'll get distracted sometimes too,” I said with a grin.

“Nough with the monkey business. Big crowd tonight,” Landon said. “Hell, I'd say most of 'em are even here to see us.”

“Or maybe it's the half-price appetizers they're serving at the bar,” I said. Landon was the optimist, while I was the realist.

“Maybe, but I'll take it.”

The band that was on had just finished their set and were leaving the stage. We exchanged greetings as Landon and I hit the stage, and I felt that old familiar energy filling me up.

“Showtime,” I said.

Landon handed me a beer from the cooler he'd brought along, but I shook my head. I might have the jitters before going on, but with my wife and baby girl in the audience, I wanted to be my best. I didn't want my senses or energy dulled in the least.

“No thanks, man,” I said.

“Suit yourself,” he said.

He downed the beer in one, big gulp and then let out a loud belch. The crowd was buzzing as I stepped up onto the stage, I eyed the audience but didn't see Shannon anywhere. Our friends were already in the crowd.

I did ask Shannon not to worry about arriving early. Probably in the parking lot now. We finished setting up, and still, she wasn't there. No biggie, she'd get there when she could.

Landon started on them drums, and I played a few chords on the guitar, tapping my foot along with the beat. It wasn't the new song I wrote for Shannon and Ava – that was coming later. I sang an old favorite, the words rolling out over the crowd as people started dancing anywhere they could stand. A few were even singing along with me. If I didn't know better, I thought that maybe Landon was right. Maybe these fine folks were here to see us. Hot damn.

As I played a solo on my guitar, I heard busty redhead call out my name, “Drake! Marry me!”

Her boobs were hanging out of her tiny little crop top, and she wiggled them in my direction. I shook my head, thinking Shannon would be amused if she saw. I strode over to the side of the stage where an older woman was standing, dancing by herself, and reached for her hand. She looked surprised but let me pull her up on stage. With gray hair and Amish-style dress, she looked like she could be someone's granny, but she sure as hell smiled when she was on stage with me.

I wanted to make this sweet little grandma's day.

I sung to her, and together we danced. She shook her butt, and the audience laughed, clapping and cheering wildly. When I held the mic out to her, she sang along, not stumbling over a single word.

Damn. It felt nice to touch people with my music.

I helped her down and continued on my way. The busty redhead had pushed her way up to the stage, reaching her hand out for mine. I knelt down as I started the next song, giving her hand a squeeze and a shake. She held on tight, pulling me closer to her and handed me a slip of paper. Her eyes sparkled, and she smiled wide.

“Call me, handsome,” she said.

I laughed, even in the middle of a verse, and tucked the number away in my pocket. I'd toss it later. Shannon would be amused. Hell, even if she were the jealous type – she had nothing to be afraid of. She was the finest woman I'd ever laid eyes on, and I was married to her. There was no way a busty red head would lure me away from my wife, no matter how much she shook her tits.

Landon had a cocky ass smirk on his face – he was probably jealous. He had nothing to worry about. He was single and could hook up with all the girls he wanted, but I'd be going back home with my wife.

Our set went pretty quickly, we were just one of five bands performing tonight.

“Thank ya'll for coming out tonight!” I said, waving at the crowd and flashing them a smile. “Hope you enjoyed the show. We'll be playing at Whisky River Bar and Grill next Friday night. Come and check us out.”

The crowd applauded, and I took one final look around the place. No sign of Shannon. My heart raced a bit, and a cold feeling of dread came over me. It was a quick set, she was probably running late. She'd be here, and we could watch the last few bands together.

Landon and I finished packing everything, and I reached for my phone.

Fifteen missed calls.

A sickening sensation hit me in the pit of my stomach.

All from mom. She'd texted me several times as well. She'd obviously been trying to get through to me. As I opened the texts up, my heart was no longer racing, it stopped beating entirely.

Mom: Drake, call me. Something has happened.

 

Mom: Drake, this is serious. You need to call me, now.

 

Finally, one last text, sent only two minutes before I picked up my phone.

Mom: There's been an accident. Shannon and Ava are in the hospital, it's bad. Get here now!

 

The world around me no longer felt real. Landon walked up behind me, took one look at me and his eyes flashed concern.

“Dude, what's wrong?” he asked.

“I need to go,” I said, though the words didn't seem to be coming from me. “There's been an accident.”

“Everything okay?” Landon asked.

“I dunno. Shannon and Ava... Oh God,” I said.

My knees turned to rubber, and I almost fell but managed to hold onto the wall for support. My baby girl and my wife, my whole world.

It’s bad. Those two words from my mom echoed around my mind, drowning me a little more with each passing moment.

“Come on, let me drive you,” he said.

I couldn't argue. I couldn't even breathe. The world was suffocating me, literally. I felt a heavy weight was on my chest, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't take a breath. There was no way I could drive.

The ride over to the hospital had been a blur. Landon dropped me off at the emergency room door to go find parking. My legs were like jelly, and I stumbled into the hospital, holding on to everything I could for support. I was swerving around so much, I probably looked drunk. A nurse at the counter looked up at me and smiled politely. I remembered thinking that she had a nice smile. Why in the hell had I thought that?

“What can I help you with?” she asked.

Her name tag said, Tina.

“Tina, I was told my wife and daughter had been in an accident,” I said.

Her smile wavered as if she knew exactly who I was talking about. A voice called to me from down the hall.

“Drake.”

It was my mom. When she saw me, she burst into tears. I refused to give into my emotions. Everything was fine. My girls were fine.

“Oh sweetie,” mom said, burying her head in my shoulder. “I'm sorry.”

“Sorry for what, Mom?” I asked.

I didn't ask if they were alive or okay because they had to be. They just had to be. I just needed to know what happened so I could start processing it all and figuring out how we were going to move forward. Together. As a family.

“We're not sure yet, but it looks like they were hit by a drunk driver,” she said. “Driver died on impact and Shannon... ”

Her voice trailed off, her words turning to sobs.

“Shannon?” I asked. “Can I see her?”

Mom shook her head. “Shannon didn't make it, sweetie.”

The room went dark.

I couldn't remember what happened after that, or how I ended up being held up by Landon. My world went black, and my vision wavered badly. Landon had ahold of my shoulders when I came to, and I could hear my mom's sobs echoing through the waiting room. Tina, the nurse with the nice smile, came over to us and offered to show us to the chapel, to give us a little privacy.

“No,” I said, my voice barely a croak. “I need to see my baby girl.”

Tina's eyes looked pained, and she was the one who had to give me the news.

“Your daughter is in critical condition, Mr. Blackthorn,” she said.

“But she's alive? I need to see her, please,” I said.

“I'll talk to the doctor,” she said. “Just give me a second.”

My cheeks were wet, but I don't remember crying. Watching Tina walk over to her desk and pick up the phone, everything seemed to slow down. Maybe this was a dream, I thought. A nightmare. I'd wake up, and it would all be over.

Please, God, let that be true.

Nothing felt real, so I convinced myself I'd wake up sooner or later. I'd wake up beside my beautiful wife and daughter.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as Landon helped me get to my feet.

My head was throbbing. That's when I realized it couldn't be a dream.

Shannon was gone. The realization of it sucked the air from my lungs.

Please, let my little girl make it.

Tina came back to us, her voice thick with emotion and her face solemn as she said to me, “The doctor said you can see her, but that you need to be prepared for the worst.”

“The worst?” I croaked.

Thinking back on her words, in my head, I knew what she meant, but in that moment, it was like she was speaking another language.

“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked.

Tina didn't answer. Instead, she said, “I'll let you talk to the doctor after you visit with Ava,” she said.

She took my arm and led me away from Landon and my mother, escorting me down a long hallway. We walked for what felt like an eternity until she stopped outside of a room with the door cracked open. Inside, were the beeps and buzzing of what looked like a hundred machines. There was so much noise coming from the room.

Ava's blonde head rested against a white pillow. If it hadn't been for the tubes running in and out of her, and the machines hooked up to her, she'd appear to be sleeping. She looked almost peaceful, even. Too peaceful. My throat closed up, and my breath caught in my throat as I stepped closer and saw how pale she was. The top of her head was bandaged, her right eye bruised and blackened as if someone had punched her.

My face was wet from fresh tears. I watched them fall onto bed sheets that were startlingly white. Ava's tiny hand rested against her chest, so I picked it up, taking it in mine. Her entire hand fit into the palm of mine, and I squeezed it, hoping she'd know I was there.

I looked down at her hand. As I held onto it, I realized that something didn't feel right. I searched my brain, trying to figure it out, and it took me awhile to understand what it was.

Her skin was ice cold.

I ran a hand over her forehead, and she was cold to the touch. I pulled the blanket up higher, just like I would if we were home and she was cold. I'd be tucking her in by now most nights, after reading her a bedtime story or two. Her stuffed unicorn would be tucked under her chin. That stupid unicorn had taken a beating and was ragged and threadbare, but she loved it. She had to sleep with it every single night.

It didn't feel right that her unicorn wasn't here now. I'd have to remember to bring it with me.

Her chest rose and fell slowly, too slowly even for sleep. I stroked her hand and kissed her forehead.

“Be strong, Ava. Be strong for daddy, please?” I asked her, my tears wetting her soft skin. “I can't lose you, baby.”

My little girl had me and her momma in her, which meant that she was a fighter. She could fight her way through this.

She would.

She had to.

“I love you, Ava,” I whispered, stroking her hand.

As soon as I said those words, everything changed. Her chest stopped moving, and the machines behind us went crazy, making all kinds of noise. There was a loud beeping that went on and on and on, and doctors filled the room, pushing me aside.

“Are you the father?” one nurse asked me.

“Yes, I am,” I said, the yawning pit in my stomach threatening to swallow me whole. “What's going on?”

“Please, step out,” she said.

She took my arm and tried to guide me from the room. I pulled away from her grip and stayed put, staring at Ava as the doctors circled her like goddamn vultures circling a piece of carrion. The room was eerily quiet except for the beeping.

“What's going with my little girl?” I said.

“Please, Mr.--”

One of the doctors turned off the beeping machine and said quietly, “Time of death, nine-fifty-five pm.”

I pushed my way past the doctors and the nurses and stared down at Ava's sweet face. It was so still. So peaceful. She looked like a perfect little angel. I stared at her little upturned nose, a trait she got from Shannon, the freckles along her nose and cheeks. She wasn't dead, she couldn't be.

The nurse who'd tried to take me out of the room earlier, grabbed my arm, pulling me from the room as gently as she could.

In that very moment, my entire world fell apart.