I think of him when I can’t stop your suffering.
You’ve been beating yourself up for three days. Even though I’ve sworn to you that you don’t deserve it. That I’m okay now. That yes I was shaken up but I understand why you did what you did. I know I’m safe.
I won’t lie. I’ll admit I was terrified. I’ve never seen you like that. Almost as if it wasn’t you. Only a hint of you perceptible in the rage. The man I love lost to his fight and his fists and his fury. Such a contrast to your treatment of me.
But when you caught up to us as we raced away from the attack, you were you again. Snatching me out of Sampson’s arms. The bodyguard smart enough not to fight you. We strode in silence to our bedroom until you dropped down on the bed. Peppering me with apologies as you cupped my face. Searching my expression for fear. Examining my body for injury.
When the only thing hurting me was my heart. Then and now. You think I still blame you for my kidnapping. You think I don’t trust you. You think I don’t believe that you’ll always protect me.
Except that I do. I absolutely do. Now, I had to prove it.
That’s why I somehow found the courage to confront you while you stewed in your office. Lost in thought, your fingers tapped erratically on your MacBook. Until I climbed on your lap and they instantly wrapped around my waist while I sank against your chest and whispered in your ear, “Doesn’t he know you’re the boss? That he should be the one presenting gifts to you? Instead of expecting you to offer them to him?”
Harsh breaths blew on my shivering neck, and the hard bulge growing under my butt made me realize I’d more than reassured you. I awakened my beast. Dormant while I recovered; yet, always lurking under the surface. Ready to come alive for me again.
The contents of your desk crashed to the floor before I could stop you and I was on my back with your head between my legs. Tears piercing my eyes from you holding my hand. Even in your urgency you made sure I knew you were there with me. You weren’t out of control. You weren’t him.
But I knew. I’ve always known. Because you always give. Never just take. And, God Kane, did you give me everything. Your evening scruff tickling my already sensitive skin as you buried your nose in my panties. Breathing me in through the fabric. Inhaling the essence already dampening the silk from your possessive growl.
I used to be embarrassed how quickly and easily I’d come from your touch. Your tongue. Your teeth. But you’d just grin your wicked grin and smile against those wet lips. I lost myself again as your enormous palm pushed my thigh farther, wider than I thought possible. Opening me so far and dirty and blatant for you. When you sucked in my clit, I didn’t care any more about anyone or anything else but you doing it again.
I grasped at the slick surface with my shaking fingers. Trying to keep from sliding off the other side of your desk from the power of your attention. The force of your determination to getting me off. Luckily your free hand snaked up my body, over my stomach, and between my breasts to hold me in place. I flinched when I didn’t need to. I should have known better. You knew I wasn’t ready for you to circle my throat like you used to, I welcomed the warmth and weight of your forearm on my chest. Keeping me safe but without any intention of squeezing me.
You demanded I let go and I did. Crying out your name and God and mercy until I collapsed against the wood. You kissed my mouth hard and final before scooping me up. Reminding me again as you carried me to the bedroom that you would never let me regret giving myself to you.
I do feel regret though about your damaged iPad. Guilty from the screen cracking after slamming onto the floor with such intensity. I guess I know what I’m getting you for Christmas.