I think about you while Jane makes me do this stupid exercise.
I’m not good at talking. Or sharing my feelings. Or examining my emotions.
I’m a simple man when it comes to you, rosy girl.
I love you.
I fuck you.
I protect you.
Well, I did. Somehow I fucked that up. But I never will again, I fucking guarantee you that.
According to Jane I can’t focus on that right now. Even though my guys are still running down how that motherfucker took you, she doesn’t have to know about that. You don’t have to know about that either.
Instead I’m going to tell her—you—about when I fell for you. So fucking hard like a fist to the temple you almost knocked me out. The feeling was so damn powerful. Nothing like I’d ever experienced before.
You have this fire, this determination I fucking love. You had fucking pride in your Dad, yourself, your skills. I get that. I get loyalty. I get making things happen. I get independence.
You’re like the soft, sweet, beautiful version of me. Yeah, I know that’s fucked up. But that’s why we’re perfect together. You and me. Mentally and physically. Fuck, physically, rosy girl, you make my dick rock hard to the point of pain.
Remember the first time I fucked you? I had that gorgeous body laid out across my bed with my hand wrapped up in your hair and my tongue sucking on your dainty throat.
You seemed shocked when I pulled back. Hell I was shocked myself. But I was out of control with you moaning and frantic underneath me. I didn’t want a quick fuck. You deserved better and for the first time ever I wanted to give a woman everything I never had before.
The frowned deepened when I climbed off the mattress and tugged your trembling hand, standing you up on your feet. I smiled, trying to reassure you while I ignored my furious cock.
I loved your curiosity as you watched me in the mirror. I’d already claimed you as mine, and now I was ready to own you completely.
You’re smaller than any other woman I’d been with. The top of your head fit just under my chin. My frame wider than yours as we stood back to chest. I knew I would have to remember to be careful when I fucked you. Not be too rough.
Although even back then I knew you’re tougher than you look. I could tell you worked out, probably played sports for fun, always energetic so you were naturally slim. But your tits were still nice size. Real too. Which I liked. I know you probably thought I was an ass for telling you that, but it’s the truth. Why lie?
I palmed your hips. Delicate bones disappearing under my fingers. Narrow—maybe too narrow to bear my children. You giggled at my comment. Questioning if I wasn’t rushing things just a tiny bit. Your laughter died away when I told you I was serious. That our daughters would probably be small like you. But I worried about our sons if they were built like me. That scared me. A whole fucking lot. I’d have to find a really good doctor who knew what the fuck they were doing to make sure everything would be okay. That you and my children would be all right.
I loved the blush. All the way down to the little vee between your breasts. God, you’re fucking gorgeous when your creamy skin flushes like that. So I told you all the plans I had for you—for us—to make the fire blaze brighter. How I was going to fuck you slow and sweet at first. How I would get you off over and over with my tongue and my fingers so your pussy was as ready for me as I could get it. Because when I took you I was going to hurt you, rosy girl and it was going to kill me to see you in pain that I caused. Not bragging when it’s the truth. But I’m too big for you, and I know it. I hate it. But not enough to keep me from fucking the woman I love and putting my babies in your little belly. Swore to you I would be gentle and it would get easier each time. You nodded. Your huge blue eyes earnest and eager and accepting of my assurance.
Incapable of holding myself back any longer, I moved from your hips to your waist and trailed lower. Loving your shocked gasp as my thumbs breached the lacy edge of the cotton fabric and yanked them down your thighs. Neither of us breathing as the bikini slid over your slender legs to the floor. The pink silk so chaste against the chocolate hardwood. Adorable the way your elegant fingers wrapped around mine. Not to help me ravish you. No you’re much too pure for that. You thought you needed to cover yourself. To hide from me. To keep me from seeing what belongs to me.
All my will power was used not to slap your hand away. You didn’t know any better. Yet. Instead, I grasped your small hand, taking the tip of your finger to swirl in the faint covering of soft hair. Trimmed and neat but definitely there. Which was the perfect reflection of your innocence, and I fucking loved it. Then we glided down to your clit, and I felt your petite body tense between my arms. Pushing back against me, which only served to shove your cute ass into my thighs and your slender back against my throbbing cock. With just my jeans between us. Your head drooped forward when I asked you why you were frightened. Why you wouldn’t want me to pleasure you.
When you refused to answer, my other hand slid to your delicate neck and lifted your chin so I could see your gorgeous face. You finally smiled when I told you never be afraid to give into what I want. That I would always make you happy in return. When you shook your head and told me I was conceited, I knew you loved me as much as I loved you. When your slender torso arched upward from me sliding between your silky skin, I knew you would never deny me again.
My hand moved from your jaw to your eyes. I loved you watching me fuck you. But we had plenty of time for that. Right now I need you to feel me. To experience what I was capable of when your pussy was under my control. This time you didn’t tense. You trusted me already, and I fucking loved that too.
Feather light touches explored your folds, your clit, your walls until my fingers were drenched. It was beautiful. You’re beautiful. I gave you the first taste, your mouth opening automatically when I brushed your lips, and I whispered in your ear how fucking magnificent you look when you’re dripping wet for me. Then I sucked those tiny fingers into my mouth and couldn’t control the growl that bubbled in the back of my throat. For you. For your essence. For your submission to me.
Fuck, I can’t let Jane read this. But I’m more than eager to tell you, rosy girl. I’d love to fucking show you all over again. I know it’s too soon for that. I’m an impatient man. Yet when it comes to you, I’ll fucking wait forever.