Chapter 16
Samara
Empty, that’s all I feel. Until that look—someone I didn’t expect to care—the look that showed me all he wants is murder. He wouldn’t, but my heart breaks all the same. Anton was sweet, kind even and it’s so unlike him. He didn’t talk my ear off, he was quiet for once. I like both sides of him, but the quiet side does something to me, it touches something inside me. It’s like I’m the only person who’s able to see him comfortable. Well, enough that he feels words are not needed.
It feels like a relief. Telling someone without actually saying anything gave me comfort. Anton was able to guess, and from just the nod of my head, it helped ease the pain a little inside me.
I haven’t even told Raven.
I didn’t mean to tell Anton, it slipped out when he saw me too vulnerable. He knew something was up. Words weren’t working, so he dug a tiny bit deeper, and all it took was a head nod for him to know exactly what happened.
Jamie’s been outside of my apartment a few times after, each time I go into a hyperventilation state and lock myself in the bathroom. He does that to me, freaks me out, and I never want to be near him again.
Crying myself to sleep every night is the only way I seem to sleep, if I can do that at all. This last week, I have struggled to sleep even for a few minutes but last night was the first time I slept all through the night, and it’s purely thanks to Anton.
Raven walks in thirty-minutes after Anton left, she looks at me then places her keys on the bench. Freya walks in behind her. I’m still dressed in my work clothes, and I haven’t moved from where I was standing since he left.
“Sam, we need to talk. You’re hiding something from me, and I need you to tell me.”
Freya watches me, not saying a word.
Then it flows and drops from my tongue like it wasn’t me who said it.
“He raped me.”
Both gasps are loud, and both their eyes are wide. Both walk toward me, their hands are now touching me.
“Sam.” Raven starts crying.
I don’t want to cry. I’m sick of crying, it hurts way too much. I just want to take a deep breath without feeling my chest crack each time I do. It hurts, he hurt me. Everything hurts too much.
“I should go, let you be.” Freya touches my arm, giving it a light squeeze of reassurance.
“I need to go, I have to finish up my shift today at the café.” I put it off all week, rang in several times saying I was sick. Going to one job was enough, but I have to finish my last shift and today is that day. They have been good to me, the café, and I have to do the right thing by them.
“I don’t think you should be working.”
I pull away from Raven, reaching for new clothes to get changed into.
“It’s fine… well, no, it’s not fine. But what can I do? I’ve put myself in a virtual grave this past week because of him. For something he did… it’s eating at me Ravs.”
“Okay, please let me walk with you at least then.”
Freya offers to walk with me too. They both wait until I have a quick shower and change, even if I don’t want to wash Anton’s smell off me because for some reason it brings me comfort. What a strange but consoling feeling—Anton comforting me.
They’re both talking quietly when I enter the room, Freya stands, and her hand reaches for me. “You didn’t say who, it wasn’t… well, it wasn’t Anton was it?” She seems unsure about asking me. “I mean I did shoot him once, and he never killed me, but I have to ask.”
She shot him. That’s, well…
“No, never, no.” I shake my head fast. Anton doesn’t touch me without my consent.
“Phew, okay. Because I would shoot him in other places if he had, not that I think he would have, but just in case, you know… you need someone to shoot him.” I half smile with her ramblings, it’s the first time my gloomy face has smiled in over a week. It still hurts, though.
“Thank you. But he was compassionate.”
We start walking, and Freya talks about how Viktor is becoming more and more possessive of her, and how she and Elina have formed a strange friendship. I wouldn’t have even known they hated each other unless she said otherwise. Death is there when we arrive. I give him a short wave but keep walking, and he follows, paying for his order, then walks back out to his car where Freya and Raven are waiting.
Starting my shift, my boss hugs me and tells me to never leave. I’m sure he doesn’t want today to be my last shift. Smiling back, I pull away and start making Death’s order for him, and when it’s done, I walk it out to him.
They all turn to face me.
“Did you say Anton was with you?” Freya asks.
“Yeah, last night,” I answer, handing Death his order.
“Did you tell him?” Raven asks.
“He worked it out.”
Freya turns to Death, some kind of conversation happens between them silently.
Her eyes come back to me. “Was he mad?” I nod my head. “Does he know who?”
“Yes,” I say in a small voice.
“He’s going to kill him.”
The pen in my hand drops to the ground.
Death puts his cell to his ear, and when he doesn’t get an answer, he calls someone else.
“Is he there?” Death’s silent while listening.
“Have you heard from him?” He puts the phone down then looks to me.
“Who is it?”
I shake my head.
“You need to tell him,” Freya says.
“Jamie.”
“The cop?” Death asks and Freya groans.
“You’re fucking kidding me. He’s about to kill a cop?” She turns, stepping into Death’s car as he walks around it, leaving Raven and I standing in the same spot watching them.
“He wouldn’t,” I say again.
“Oh… but he would,” Freya says through the passenger window before they pull away and drive off. I look to Raven who shakes her head.
“He wouldn’t. What does he even do for work anyway?” Raven asks, walking back inside the café with me.
“Works for Kazier.” It’s all I really know. What they all do is still a mystery to me.
“Well, it’s not like they’re mafia or anything.” She laughs, sitting down before I walk back to the counter.
“Do you plan to sit there all day and babysit me?”
Raven nods her head rapidly. “Bring me a juice too, please.” She smiles, picking up one of the many books we have lying around and starts reading it.
***
Raven stays the whole day like she said she would, and on our way home, she starts asking questions regarding what I know about Anton. Weird questions like how rich are they? Do they carry guns and knives?
“Raven, what’s with the twenty questions?”
She smirks. “I was reading a mafia book, I was curious.”
“Oh God, Raven, they aren’t part of the mafia,” I say, shaking my head.
“It’s actually Bratva since they’re Russian,” she replies.
Pulling out my phone, I ring his number. I should talk to him now, apologize for telling him something that’s too heavy to put on someone else’s shoulders.
Maybe he will want to stay friends.
It rings, with no answer.
Then I dial Freya’s number. She answers out of breath, “Hey.”
“Hey, it’s Sam. Have you heard from him?”
“Yeah, umm… look, we’re on our way to him now, but he doesn’t know because I’ve tracked him.”
“Can you pick me up? Please, I want to come.”
She huffs into the phone. “I don’t think that’s smart, Sam. I’m pretty sure he has your cop.”
“Pick me up, Freya,” I demand, ending the call.
Raven looks at me in shock.
“You aren’t going,” I tell her while grabbing a sweater. She stands, but I shake my head. “I need to see him and do this myself.”
“Do what?”
I shrug my shoulders because I don’t really know, but I do know I plan to go to him. If he is doing what they say, I should be there to stop him. A horn honks and I one-arm hug Raven before rushing out the door to a car full of people, with another car behind them. Freya smiles when she sees me, and Elina waves as I get in, then drives off straight away.
“The boys are behind us.”
“They put up a fight for us to go, but I know the address so I, of course, won,” Freya says.
“He didn’t answer my call.” I press call again, expecting no answer.
Then his voice comes through. “Sam.” My name sounds casual on his lips.
“What are you doing, Anton?”
“Oh, you know, barbequing.” He laughs.
“Barbequing?” I ask, not understanding.
The girls all gasp from the front.
I’m guessing that isn’t a good thing, him cooking.
“Are you a bad cook?”
Anton laughs, and the sound makes me happy, just the slightest amount.
“No, Sam, no. I can’t cook for shit. That’s what Mama is for.”
“What are you barbequing then?”
“Just some meat.”
“Anton. Where are you?”
Anton’s quiet before he speaks again. “I’ll see you sometime this week, Sam. Talk soon.” He hangs up on me. I look up to the girls, and they’re both watching me, Freya from the rear-view mirror and Elina is turned around in her seat.
“Are you sure you still want to come?” Elina asks, looking at me. “You’re about to see who he really is.”
No answer leaves my lips, I have no reply to that. Elina turns around, speaks on her cell, then the car comes to a stop. They all get out, and I notice the only missing person is Pollie.
Kazier stares at me, then walks past me to his wife. Death nods, while Viktor walks to Freya. I follow behind them with Death next to me as we step into a house. It’s a very quiet area, and the neighbors are very distant with a lot of land between them. The house itself is old and worn. It almost looks abandoned, but the yard is mowed and tidy, so it can’t be.
“They own it, have for a while,” Elina says as I look around. “Never come here unless one of them bring you. This isn’t a house you want to be an uninvited guest in. Do you understand?” I nod my head.
The front door is opened by Kazier, and they all walk in. The smell hits me first—it’s rotten, bad, smells like something’s burning. My hand goes up to cover my mouth as I walk behind them. Then I stop, and hear his voice echoing through the hall. And it’s not friendly, it’s not even the Anton I know.
“I’m going to make you scream, then I’m going to make you my bitch.”
A loud gasp leaves my mouth. All eyes turn to me, so does Anton’s and Jamie’s, who is tied to a chair, half naked. Fuck.