Cecilia
Closing up the cafe after a long Saturday shift, I couldn’t stop thinking about a hot bath. I’d let the owners know this would be my last weekend for a while. I had to be home these next few weeks. They were gracious and offered anything I needed, promising me my job would be waiting for me when I wanted to come back.
A tap on the glass doors startled me. When I looked over, I found Jameson standing there smiling at me. I hadn’t seen or heard from him in a few days. Not since that night I left his penthouse. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to see him again.
“Can I come in?” he asked through the glass.
I hesitated, wondering what he wanted. I knew what he wanted but did I want it? I guess I could hear him out. Maybe he would surprise me. I unlocked the door and let him in. “We’re closed.”
“I figured.” He turned the key in the door, locking it. “You’re alone?”
“Sal and Lisa, the owners, had a party to attend so I told them I’d finish up. I’m almost done.” I went back to wiping down the tables. “What brings you here?”
“You.”
“I don’t know what that means.” I wasn’t in the mood for any more games or confusion.
“Look, I know the other night was different.” He moved to stand across from me, a table in between us. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me.” Does he know I’m lying? “You made the terms extremely clear.” I wasn’t being fair by expecting him to all of a sudden change the deal.
“I did.” He nodded, his chiseled jaw tensed. “But sometimes terms are renegotiated.”
“You want to renegotiate our terms?” If he had come to me on any other day maybe I would have been more receptive. But not today. So much had changed since that day he propositioned me.
“I’m not really sure what I want. That’s the problem.” He gripped the back of the chair. “I was sure when I first saw you. I asked you to come outside with me that day because I wanted you. I always know what I want when you show up at my house. I keep things simple.”
“Sometimes things aren’t so simple.” I wished it could have been simple between us but how could I expect that with such a complicated man? Even knowing nothing about him, I figured out fast that he wasn’t the type of guy who did traditional.
He moved around the table, standing inches from me. I needed him to hold me like he had when I woke up from that nightmare at his house the other night. I ached for him to be the one I could lean on. I was a fool if I thought that could ever happen. Guys like him didn’t do support roles. No matter how bad I wanted him to be there. He wasn’t Mr. Right.
He reached for my arm, pulling me to him. “You’re correct,” he said. “I never make anything easy or simple.”
I stepped closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. I desperately tried to block out the words hospice and just a few more weeks. When he wrapped his arms around me, a tear slid down my cheek. Maybe I should tell him my situation. Let him know I needed someone strong to get me through what I was facing.
“You don’t need my chaos.” He kissed the top of my head. “I came here to tell you I can’t offer more than what we have.”
Okay, so he wouldn’t be the one I could count on.
“What?” I wiggled out of his hold mad that I let my guard down for a few seconds. “You just said terms could be renegotiated.”
“I have an envelope in my pocket.” He touched the breast of his suit jacket. “That’s what I came here for. That’s who I am.”
“You came here for sex?” Why was I so shocked?
“When I want it and where I want it,” he reminded me. “It’s best if we keep it that way.”
“No.” I stared into his eyes, challenging him. “Not tonight.”
“You’re sure.”
“I’ve never been more sure.”
“That’s your choice.”
“I broke your terms. I said no.”
“I heard you.” He reached into his pocket and tossed the envelope on the table. “Loud and clear.”
“I don’t want that.” I don’t need it anymore.
“It’s yours, Cecilia.” He took my face between his hands, dropping his gaze to my mouth. “You need to forget about me.” He ran his thumb along my bottom lip. “Do you understand?” Lingering for a moment, he continued to caress my lip before stepping away. “I’m not that man.”
When he turned to leave the cafe, I called to him, “Jameson.”
He glanced over his shoulder.
“I heard you loud and clear.”
He nodded before unlocking the door and walking out into the hot summer evening. And he was gone. I looked down at the money he had left. Wasn’t that the summary of our time together? Sex for hire?
Jameson
As Miles sat in my office and told me all the reasons why he thought I should take on Conrad as a client, I managed to drown him out. It had been two weeks since I’d seen her. Touched her. Smelled her. Fucked her. Withdrawal was a bitch. I should know better than anyone.
Walking out of the cafe that night was hard. Staying would have been harder. Once Meg gave me the report on CC, there was no way I could continue on with our screwed up arrangement. Her father had died years ago in a car accident and now her mother was dying. Knowing what she needed that money for and how she had to get it made me sick, but not because I was disgusted with her. She did what she had to do. I was furious with myself. I put her in that position. I made her sell herself to save her mother. I brought her into my messed up world and now I had to let her go. Her developing feelings for me were evident and I hoped if I went to her that last night and acted as if it was business as usual she’d shoot me down. That was exactly what she had done. Good for her. I just hadn’t expected it to burn me as bad as it did.
“Jay,” Miles called to me. “Are you listening?”
“Hmm...” I looked down at the file in front of me. “Yeah, of course.”
“You haven’t been yourself in weeks.”
“I’ve been busy. November is right around the corner and some clients are getting pushy.”
“Are you using again?”
“What? Hell, no.” I wasn’t offended by the question. My family had been concerned since I’d left rehab two years ago, but they seemed to be leaving me alone with all the hovering lately. I thought they realized I wasn’t going back to my old ways. “Why would you ask that?”
“I don’t know, man, you’re all over the place.”
“Nothing is suffering here,” I reminded him. “I’m not hooked on anything. I’m not using.”
“Sorry I asked.” He shrugged.
“I’m not.” I sat back in my chair. “I appreciate you looking out for me but I’m cool.” Alcohol and drugs would be a much easier habit to kick. CC was another story.
“Well, if you want to talk about it.”
“There’s really nothing to talk about. I screwed up with someone and now I’m trying to fix it.”
“A woman?” He grinned. “Do I know her?”
“No.”
“Is it serious?”
“It isn’t anything and she’s better off that way.” She had enough going on in her life. “Call Conrad and tell him I’ll meet with him.”
“Maybe you need a woman in your life.”
“We’ve changed the subject in case you can’t keep up.” I pointed at the file. “You did good work here. I’ll meet with him and see how ambitious he is.”
“Did you just compliment me?”
“Cherish it.” When my phone vibrated, I glanced down at the screen. “It won’t happen often.”
Miles grabbed his tablet from my desk. “Let’s get dinner tonight.”
“Okay.” I picked up my phone. “Five-thirty.”
My brother shut the door behind him as I answered my cell.
“Meg, what do you have for me?”
“I stayed on Cecilia for you,” she said. “She just left O'Brien Funeral Home. She went in about an hour ago.”
“Was she alone?”
“Yes.”
Damn it! My stomach churned when I thought of her doing this on her own. Meg couldn’t find any immediate family in her search.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
“Do you want me to continue to watch her?” Meg asked.
“No, I’m done.” I couldn’t continue to keep tabs on her. It wasn’t fair. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Anything you need,” she said. “I’m available.”
“Thanks.” I ended the call and quickly dialed my attorney.
“Jameson,” Drew Murphy answered. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” I said. “I know we’re meeting in a few days but I need you to handle something for me. It’s time sensitive.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“I need you to contact the funeral director at O’Brien Funeral Home. Do you know it?”
“It’s in the D.C. area. Is everything okay with your family?”
“Yes, we’re all good, but a young woman I know just lost her mother. I want to remove the financial burden from her.”
“That’s very generous of you.”
I’m not generous. I’m a jerk. “I need this to be discreet. I don’t want to be named as the benefactor. I just want it taken care of. I don’t care how you go about it.”
“I understand.”
“The woman’s name is Cecilia Keller. Her mother’s name was Isabella. Whatever the cost of the funeral is double it. Tell the director anything left over is to go back to Ms. Keller for her to do what she wishes with it.”
“I’ll contact them after I hang up with you and let you know when it’s done.”
“Thank you.”
After disconnecting the call, I gazed out of my office window. Closing my eyes, I imagined her face, her flawless skin and her subtle smile. She hadn’t smiled for me often but I’d cherish the times she had. Someday she’d be happy. It just wouldn’t be with me.