Since Saturday afternoon, Brady has called twice and texted three times. I’ve ignored every one of them.

Jessa stayed in with me on Saturday night, and we bonded by making popcorn and watching some movies. I was close to telling her my secret, my mouth opening several times, but I lost the nerve each and every time.

Luckily, she hasn’t pushed me.

Walking down the stairs from Alcove Hall, I smile since I finally understood Algebra today, thanks to Grant. When I hear a familiar laugh, I look down the steps, finding Brady to the right, talking to a couple of guys. Glancing behind me, I search for another way out but come up empty-handed.

Reluctantly, I discreetly jog down the opposite side of the stairs, hopeful that he won’t notice me. When my foot lands on the last step, a smile spreads across my face because I’m safe. As I steadily walk to guarantee my getaway, my shoulders relax.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t see you?”

My body sidesteps when Brady comes up alongside me.

“Hopeful is more like it,” I say, surprising myself that I didn’t miss a beat.

“Why are you dodging me?” He keeps in step with me.

I don’t even give him a side glance, making sure he doesn’t miss the fact that I’m pissed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, attempting to dismiss him.

Why bother with explaining it to him? I crossed him off my list.

“I called you this weekend. You never called me back.”

His eyes are burning a hole into the side of my head, and I hope he walks into the lamppost up ahead.

“I’m sure you found someone else to keep you company.” I increase my speed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His steps speed up to match mine while his eyes never leave the side of my face.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?” I shake my head, waving my hand in the air. “It doesn’t matter anyway, but next time, don’t bother with trying to make a girl feel so damn special if all you want to do is get in her pants.”

I clip past him to cut him off completely, but I am disappointed when he circles around the black post. Damn it.

“Sadie, you lost me.”

“Brady, it’s not like we were dating. It just irritated me that it was right after you left me,” I lie. The image of him sleeping with another girl makes my heart ache, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

He firmly snatches my wrist with his hand, swinging me around. His eyes are mixed with anger and confusion. “Sadie, just fucking tell me what you’re so pissed about,” he demands, his voice rising another octave.

Turning back around, I continue to stomp up the hill. “Well, Brady, let’s see. The fact that you pursued me. Tricked me into going to your show and to dinner. Made some plea that there’s something between us you’ve never felt before. But, as soon as I don’t give it up right away, you find someone else to get it from. Did you think Jessa wouldn’t tell me that you came home the next morning, wearing the same clothes? The funny thing is, she assumed you came from being with me,” I reveal.

Looking at my surroundings, I notice my mistake a little too late. I led us to the field that separates the dorms from the academic building, leaving us utterly alone.

“Fuck!” Brady screams, halting his footsteps. He circles around, taking his head in his hands. “When are they going to stop fucking with my life?” he murmurs into the air.

“Listen, it’s been nice but bye, Brady.” I turn around, walking up the hill toward my dorm where more people are sure to be congregated.

“Sadie!” he yells after me.

But I don’t let up on my pace.

He jogs up to me, clasping my elbow. “Just come with me. We need to talk.”

His eyes are mixed with determination and agony at the same time.

I’ve been here before. He’s going to tell me it’s something else, and then I’ll put my heart on the line. In a couple of months, I’ll find him in bed with another girl.

“No, Brady. Sorry, but you had your chance, and I can’t risk it.”

“You’re kidding, right? You never gave me a fair chance,” he says, shaking his head. “You’ve been testing me the whole time.”

He’s right. I truly never did. It’s just too much. He’ll break my heart if I allow him in. Although a piece will always be for Theo, I’m petrified to give up any more space.

“Please, Sadie, give me an hour. If nothing changes your mind, then we’ll part ways, and I won’t bother you again.”

Just to appease him and so he’ll eventually leave me alone, I give him a small nod.

“Thanks.” He releases a deep breath, and his shoulders fall. “Let’s go then.”

He takes my hand, but I pull it back, not easily swayed by his charm. Not until I hear what he has to say first. He doesn’t push the issue and leads us in the opposite direction, toward my favorite area of Western University. It’s part of the original campus before the college expanded. It’s shaped like a bowl, and one of the hills overfills with daffodils that blossom in the spring. Since fall is already on its way, the grass is still green, but its radiance is beginning to fade.

Brady sits me down at the top of the hill, keeping us hidden by the trees and buildings. I watch students strolling from campus, going back to their dorms, on the pathway in the middle of the oval.

“This is my favorite spot on campus. I’ve been coming here since I was a kid.”

I look around, wondering how he found it. I glance around, only seeing Shubert Hall, the music building, behind us.

“It’s a nice spot.”

You can watch students making their way to classes below, but no one really notices you up here. If someone wants to be alone, this is the place.

“I was up here about three weeks ago. It was one of the last hot days before fall hit. I was late for band practice, so I was packing up my bag to leave.” He looks over at me, and there’s a rare hint of insecurity in his eyes. “I saw this blonde-haired girl walking down the path.” He points to the open field below us where the streams of students are now. “Her head was concentrating on her footsteps while she walked, as though she didn’t want to be noticed. There was something about her, something I couldn’t explain. All of a sudden, I felt this pull toward her. I had an urge to sprint down the hill, throw her over my shoulder, and run away.”

He opens his backpack and searches for something.

“Before I could reach the sidewalk to force our paths to cross, she had disappeared. My eyes flew everywhere, but I lost sight of her. I assume she snuck into a building.”

He continues to dig through his bag, and I’m not sure why he’s telling me this story of some girl he’s oddly infatuated with. Regardless, I listen.

“I came back to this spot every day at that exact time, but I never saw her again. All I had to remember what she looked like was this.”

He pulls out a sketchbook, and there’s a drawing of a girl with her long hair flowing along the side of her face. The girl appears sad and lost in the drawing, and a pang hits my stomach. This is how people see me.

Am I really this absent and disoriented?

“It’s beautiful, Brady.” My fingers brush along the paper as I let his words all sink in.

He was able to portray the push-and-pull of what happens in my mind every day from only a glimpse of me walking across a field.

“You are beautiful,” he whispers in my ear, leaning over me to stare at the sketch.

My heart races, and chills cover my body. The push in me relents, and I admit to myself that I want to give this a chance.

How did he do this to me? In a matter of fifteen minutes, he got me from hating him to wanting to jump him.

He continues talking even though my eyes are still set on the sketch, “And then I saw you that night at Billy’s. By the way, that’s the name of the house where we first met.” I hear the humor in his voice again.

“The owners gutted the house to have parties and bands play there. We usually don’t play there, but we were filling in for another band that canceled at the last minute. When you walked in with Jessa, I’ve never been more thankful for anything in my life. You appeared so shy and intimidated, standing against the back wall. I wanted nothing more than to approach you. But I didn’t have the nerve for fear that you’d turn me away. Frozen on the opposite wall, I watched you from across the room. When you waved good-bye to Jessa, I realized that my time was running out. I couldn’t let you out of my sight again.”

“So, you knew I wasn’t drunk?” I pick my head up.

A devious grin emerges from his lips. “Yeah, I knew you were sober. I didn’t knock you down though. That was just dumb luck on my part.” He chuckles.

His revelation warms me. I find it hard to believe that a guy like Brady wanted to meet me so badly that he went to that degree. The fact that he admitted it to me makes it even nicer.

“Then, you were there by my side, and of course, I had to go up onstage to play. There has never been a time when I didn’t want to perform more than that night. I told the guys we were going to cut it short. But, when I finished the second song and saw you had left, I was barely able to finish the set. You have no idea how badly I beat myself up for allowing you to leave my sight again.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I’m suspicious of his openness. He hardly knows me.

I’ve been around guys before who acted like they wore their hearts on their sleeves, only to find out it was an act. What scares me with Brady is that I honestly believe him, but I’m not sure if I can trust my instincts anymore.

“I need you to trust me.” He grabs my hand, placing it on his lap. “I can’t tell you where I was on Friday night—at least, not yet—but you must believe me, Sadie. I wasn’t with anyone else. You’re the only girl who consumes my thoughts, my dreams, and my mind. Please trust me when I say, there’s no one else.” His voice is so desperate that it saturates his soft brown eyes.

I’m so conflicted that it hurts.

My thoughts go to Jessa and how she now has faith in guys again after what her ex-boyfriend did to her. I need to move on with my life. It’s been over a year, and I still harbor all the hurt and remorse. If I don’t start living my life, it’s going to pass me by.

Brady’s right. I never gave him a fair shot.

I take a deep breath, deciding to trust my gut one last time, hoping it doesn’t steer me wrong.

“I believe you,” I whisper while my brain and my heart still wage war on each other. Although I decide to give him a chance, my heart aches a little bit, anticipating the future heartbreak, because I can’t deny how he makes me feel.

“Thank you, Sadie.” He releases the deepest breath in relief. “Now, I have to ask you for one more favor.” He peers over at me, continuing to hold my hand.

“What, Carsen?” I tease. He’s already gotten enough from me, but if it works out, I’ll win, too.

“Go on a date with me? A real date. Just you and me from beginning to end,” he asks, squeezing my hand.

I close my eyes, willing myself to let go, to give myself the possibility to have happiness and accept the consequences, good or bad.

I stare into his eyes. “I’d love to.”

He picks up my hand and spreads it open. Pressing my palm to his lips, he kisses it, and I wish those moist lips would continue up my arm. To my disappointment, he stops.

“I’ll pick you up tonight at six,” he instructs.

“Tonight? It’s Monday,” I counter.

“I’m not waiting a whole week, Sadie.” He decisively shakes his head and releases my hand before placing the sketchbook back in his bag. Standing up, he positions his backpack over his shoulder and grabs my messenger bag from the ground.

“All right,” I say.

“Let’s go. I’ll walk you back to the dorm.”

He holds his hand out to help me up, and this time, I let him. He never lets it go the entire walk back.

“I have a question.” I look over to him.

“What?”

“How did you know where I lived?”

“I’ve got to keep some secrets to myself.” He smirks over to me, squeezing my hand again.

“You aren’t some stalker guy who is going to murder me tonight, are you?” I question seriously.

He laughs. “I promise you, I’m not a stalker, and I’m not going to murder you. Kidnap maybe, but not murder.”

This guy has the opportunity to break me or fix me, and I truly hope he helps me sew the pieces of my true self back together again.

As we get closer to the dorms, more students are milling around. A group of girls are hanging out in front of the dorm when Brady and I walk up. They are talking about some boy band and who is hotter, but they fall silent when we pass by, questions swimming in their eyes. It’s the same questions I saw in people’s eyes at the bar last week.

The girls resemble my friends at Drayton from only a few short months ago—shallow and vain. Although they are probably drooling over Brady inside, they’d never date him. Most likely, they believe his car isn’t expensive enough and that his clothes aren’t designer enough.

Brady walks me up to the door, and I catch a glimpse of his car in the parking lot.

“Why is your car here?”

“Oh.” He looks back and laughs. “I swear, I’m not a stalker, but you wouldn’t answer my calls or texts.” He holds up his hands in defense. “I’ve been chasing you around this whole campus all day. I kept missing you.”

There go those butterflies again, fluttering around my stomach.

“I’m glad you found me,” I divulge my feelings for the first time, instantly relaxing.

“Me, too.” He winks. “Don’t ever hide from me again,” he jokes.

Disregarding his request, I point to the yellow envelope on his windshield. “Looks like you got a ticket.”

“Oh, I can take care of that.” He waves it off, like it doesn’t matter, showing that carefree side once again.

Turning toward my dorm doors, I get my keys out of my bag.

“Sadie?”

“Yeah?” I turn around.

When I shift my head in his direction, he’s so close that my heart skips a beat.

“I just want to warn you, I’m going to kiss you tonight,” he whispers in my ear.

A rush of goose bumps slither up my back. I’m frozen in place while I watch him walk to his car.