It feels weird, being back at this house after so many years, but I’m glad I could get used to it again with Sadie here first.

I laugh when I remember thinking she was the girl for me that day in the library. We seemed to fit like two peas in a pod, but she was already taken—and not by just anyone. It had to be my archenemy, Brady Carsen.

We used to be best of friends, Brady and me, but when my asshole dad took away his mom, Brady couldn’t forgive me. I couldn’t blame him. I hated myself just as much. But when I moved in with Kara’s family, I missed him.

Feeling the most alone since my mother had died, I comforted myself with girls. Whichever girl showed interest in me had a chance with me. That’s when things went completely disastrous between Brady and me.

He was dating this girl, Jen Kramer. They had only been on a few dates, but at a party, she showed some interest in me, and I took her upstairs, only to have Brady walk in on us. Jen and I were completely naked in the middle of fucking, so there was no denying what was going on. Brady stormed toward me, and I let him hit me as many times as he wanted. I deserved every single punch—not only for what I did with Jen, but also because of my dad, too.

Once we started college, he joined The Invisibles, and I joined a fraternity, sealing our separate ways for good.

Last year, when I started seeing Mr. Carsen asleep on the park benches and passed out in alleyways, I knew I had to take care of him. Don’t get me wrong; Mr. Carsen always loved his drinks. The Carsen’s used to have the most amazing parties when we were little. Brady, Maura, Kara, and I would run around, playing tag and hide-and-seek while our parents got trashed.

I never thought about it then, but Mr. Carsen always seemed to pass out on the couch at some point before the end of the night. After my dad took away his wife, Mr. Carsen drank all the time. When I moved in with them, I remember Brady sleeping in a chair next to his father’s bed to make sure he didn’t get sick. I remember him calling the university, informing them his father was ill. That was why I left to go live with Kara’s family; I couldn’t handle seeing what my father had caused.

“Hey you.” Jessa nudges her shoulder into mine, interrupting my journey down memory lane.

“Hey,” I respond, gently nudging her back.

With the smile she gives me, it takes all the control I can muster not to throw her over my shoulder and stomp upstairs. I have to keep reminding myself that she’s taken, and I will never again take another guy’s girl—even if I hate the asshole.

“They kind of make me sick,” I joke, nodding my head toward Sadie and Brady, who are currently wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing. God, I’m a jealous bastard.

“Yeah, I don’t know what I’m going to do when I live here. Maybe I should have stayed in the dorm for my last semester.”

She laughs, flashing that one dimple in her right cheek that has been driving me crazy for days.

From the moment I saw Jessa at my fraternity party, she has consumed my thoughts. When Sadie asked if I would help her paint the third floor, adding that Jessa would be helping as well, I jumped at the chance.

As we walk over to the table to sit for dinner, I casually act like it’s a coincidence we’ve ended up next to each other when, in fact, for most of the day, I have been thinking about how I was going to pull off this maneuver. I pull the chair out for her, and she smiles at me, clearly taken aback by the kind gesture. My heart breaks, as I know she’s never been cared for like she deserves.

I push the chair back in and stare at her exposed neck where the small scripted word Free is tattooed along with black birds flying around it. I’m curious to know if she just liked it or if it means something, but from what I know of her, I think it’s the latter. Her ear piercings up and down her right earlobe are clearly visible with her pixie-cut hairstyle.

We couldn’t be more different in appearance, but then I look at Sadie and Brady, and they are just as different. I don’t remember ever wanting someone like I want Jessa.

I sit down next to her and grip my napkin, so my hand doesn’t disobey my brain and grab hers.

Luckily, Brady starts talking, distracting me from this pain for a short time, “Hey, everyone. Sadie and I want to thank you all for coming.”

He stares down at her, and she smiles warmly back up to him.

“We want to play a little game, and I hope that you all don’t mind, but we feel like we have so much to be thankful for this year, and we want to hear yours, too. I’ll start,” he says.

I want to kick his ass for this impromptu game.

“I’m thankful that I’m no longer alone, that I have my one and only by my side, forever and always. Never let go, babe,” he says, bending down and kissing Sadie.

Can this get any cornier? Do they have to keep flaunting their newfound love?

Sadie stands up. “Never, Brady,” she says to him, grabbing his hand. “I want to thank Jessa for dragging me to that god-awful bar where my white knight with an edge saved me. I know I ran away that night, but I will never run again. I’m here, forever and always,” she says.

Jessa smiles toward them.

I didn’t know that was how they’d met.

Everyone at the table starts standing up, thanking other loved ones or talking about events they are thankful for. It’s getting closer to my turn, and my stomach is filled with butterflies. I’m not usually shy to talk in front of people, but the way Jessa glances at me every time someone says what they are thankful for, I worry I will fumble over my words.

Jake, Maura’s five-year-old son, knocks me with his elbow, telling me it’s my turn. I have no idea what that little man is thankful for since my head has been everywhere but at this table.

I nervously scoot my chair out from the table. “I’m thankful to have an old friend back in my life.”

I stare at Brady, who nods his head, smiling. Then, I pull out Jessa’s chair for her, and she stands up.

She looks around the table before her eyes land on me. “I’m thankful for new friends,” she says, winking at me.

My heart races at the thought that she might want me as much as I want her.

Too bad we have two things stacked against us. She has a boyfriend, and ever since Lizzy, I don’t do relationships.