I went through the motions because what else was there to do? I had been here before, felt this pain before. This time, I had been the one to walk away, to call it quits. But it still hurt the same.

Training should have been my go-to salvation. It should have been the thing to pull me through when Ben & Jerry’s and crying over Rom-Coms didn’t. I’d always been able to process pain through hard training.

But today, my heart just wasn’t in it. I was distracted. Kyle and I were over and I was having a hard time processing it. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have fallen for him, fallen for his charm and his looks when he still had the capacity to hurt me the same way? I had no idea what was going on with Kyle. That was the problem. He wouldn’t let me in, he wouldn’t share his life with me. It was a repeat of the past when he had broken up with me without even giving me the reason. Something had happened for him to shut me out, but even though years had passed and we had both grown up, nothing had changed. Kyle was still leaving me on the outside.

I guess I couldn’t really expect him to open up. After all, we had never been officially together. Like he said, he didn’t owe me anything.

The cheerleaders finished their training as the Miami Dolphins came out of the locker room. I picked up my bag and walked toward the locker room when the football players stepped in front of me. When I looked up, it was Liam.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t even see you,” I said, and gave him a hug.

“Yeah, you look a little distracted. Difficult training?”

I nodded, then shook my head. “I have a lot going on.”

Liam looked like he wanted to ask about it, but instead, he changed the topic to the event later that evening.

“It’s a pity you and Kyle can’t make it to the event tonight. I know we asked you guys last minute, but it really is going to be fun.”

“Oh, I’ll be there,” I said. “Most of my squad going.”

Liam smiled. “Oh, that’s great news. I thought the two of you were busy.”

I shook my head. “If you don’t mind me asking, Liam, what’s up with Kyle?”

Liam frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I have a feeling I’m being left out of the loop and I can’t figure it out. He’s so distant and switched off, completely sour and bitter about something and he won’t talk to me about it.” It was probably out of place to ask Liam about it, but it was really bugging me.

Liam looked over my shoulder at the players who were already creating groups on the field.

“Look, I’m not trying to gossip about Kyle, we haven’t exactly been close since I got picked by the pros and Kyle didn’t. He spiraled after he heard the news, but eventually picked himself back up. For a while things looked really good, he started building a life for himself again. Lately, he’s been ignoring us again. I think it’s hard for him to see me play when he can’t.”

I frowned, trying to figure out what he was saying to me. “Are you telling me that this is all about jealousy?” I asked.

Liam shrugged. “Kyle was very serious about being scouted for a team. You know how hard he worked. We used to train together all the time, competing for the same thing. That both of us would go pro had never been a given. Hell, that either of us went pro at all is a miracle. But Kyle had his heart set on it and when he didn’t get it, his life fell apart.”

Why had Kyle never told me any of this? I knew he had wanted to play professional football. I assumed he hadn’t been chosen when Liam had started appearing on the news and Kyle didn’t. But by then, Kyle had broken up with me and I had no contact with him anymore. I had known nothing of his life, he had shut me out.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” I said to him. “Surely jealousy isn’t enough of a reason. He never said anything to me.”

Liam pulled up one shoulder, glancing past me again. “Look, Maya, I don’t want to get involved. Whatever goes on in Kyle’s life, whatever the two of you are up to, that’s your business. I hate that I lost my best friend, but there’s not much I can do about it. I try again and again to reach him, but he shuts me out every time. If you want to clear this up with Kyle, you are going to have to talk to him yourself.”

I nodded. Of course, Liam was right.

“Listen, I have to go. The guys are starting training and I don’t want to be late. I’ll see you tonight.” Liam squeezed my shoulder and jogged past me to join his teammates. I turned to watch them for a moment, my mind running over everything Liam had said. Could it really be only jealousy? I thought back to every time Kyle had been difficult, bitter, or sour. I couldn’t remember exactly what we had been about every time, but it had often been about football.

I turned toward the locker room to shower and change. I needed to get back to the condo to get ready for tonight. I wasn’t really in the mood to go out, to have a couple of drinks with a smile plastered on my face, pretending everything was all right. But it would be a good distraction, and I did want to support the team and the squad. When Kyle had broken up with me the first time, life had carried on. There was no reason it couldn’t happen again.

I rented a dress for the evening because I didn’t have anything to wear on such short notice. It was a two-piece mermaid dress that showed off my midriff. The bodice and the top of the skirt were sequined, and the dark blue and gold looked regal against my tan skin. I did my hair in a messy bun to balance the seriousness of the dress, and wore dark lips and smoky eyes.

When I arrived at the event, I fit right in. The outfit I had chosen was perfect.

The event was arranged at a banquet hall and had been elegantly decorated with beautifully made up tables and flower arrangements. There was a dance floor in the middle and a podium for speeches to the side. One corner of the hall had been set up as a hall of fame, and photos of the Dolphins and the cheerleaders covered the wall, photos of camaraderie and friendship, of loyalty and passion. There was even one photo of me where I was stretching with the girls, a photo that had been taken when no one knew. It was beautiful.

“What do you think?” Kina asked, joining in the corner of fame.

“It’s stunning,” I said. I turned around to look at the hall. “All of it. This is such a good idea.”

Kina smiled and nodded. “We like to make an effort to recognize the people who are on television all the time, as well as everyone who made it possible for them to live their dream.”

I nodded and turned back to the photos. It was like a family and it felt amazing to be a part of it.

“Where’s Kyle?” Kina asked, looking around.

“I’m here alone, tonight,” I said.

Kina’s eyes settled on me. She stayed silent, waiting for me to explain what had happened. I took a deep breath.

“The fake engagement took care of Tyler. That was the point, right? But I don’t think it’s going to work between me and Kyle. Seems like it’s over before it even started.”

“What happened?” Kina asked.

“He won’t let me in,” I said. “He won’t tell me what’s going on, he won’t share his life with me. I can’t do a relationship like that. Communication is everything. I can’t be the cheerleader for a team while I’m dating a man who despises them. None of it works.”

I stopped talking because a lump had risen in my throat and I didn’t want to cry in front of Kina. I didn’t want to cry at all. I had shed enough tears over him.

“Did you call it or did he?” Kina asked.

“I did, this time,” I said. “Better to end it now rather than wait and get burned again two years down the line.”

Kina took my hand and squeezed it. “I know you love him,” she said.

I nodded. “I’ve always loved him. But love isn’t enough. There has to be more.”

Kina nodded. “I know. And I agree. But love is enough of a reason to fight for something you believe in. You need to talk to him again and see if you can work it out. I know you’re serious about Kyle, and he might be all clammed up right now, but I know he’s serious about you, too.”

“Not serious enough to tell me what was going on in his life when it all happened,” I said. “He broke up with me instead. He hurt me, Kina. I can’t let him do that, again.”

Kina nodded. She understood. She knew what it had meant for Kyle to dump me. We had been one of the college power couples and our breakup hadn’t only been terrible, it had sparked rumors all around campus. That had only made it worse.

“I understand. And I’m not saying you should put yourself out there for no reason. But love is worth another try. If he doesn’t change when you bring it up again, by all means, walk away. But don’t walk away now and wonder what would have happened if you had tried once more.”

I smiled sadly. “What if, huh?” I asked.

“What if,” Kina said, and hugged me.

Someone turned on a microphone and called us to our tables, cutting our conversation short. Kina looped her arm through mine and we walked to our table, together. We sat down and listened to speeches. I only paid attention half the time. I was hoping Kyle would arrive the way the men did in movies. I wished he would show up wearing a tux, and make an attempt to win me back. I kept an eye out for him, just in case.

But that wasn’t going to happen because this wasn’t a movie, this was real life. And it wasn’t the first time I had lost Kyle because he wouldn’t open up to me. He hadn’t come after me the first time. Why would this be any different?

Still, I held out. I clutched onto hope and I waited for my prince to come to save me. But he never came.

When the night was over and I wallowed in disappointment, the only person I was angry with was myself. I had waited for a man I knew wouldn’t come. I had trusted a man that had hurt me before. Every hurt I felt now—the heartache, the disappointment, the sorrow—was on me. It felt like shit to know that this time I had been in control and had done this to myself.

I thought about what Kina had said, that Kyle deserved one more chance. But what had it been when we’d slept together and stayed in the same apartment? Hadn’t that been a second chance after what had happened the first time? I didn’t know anymore. All I knew was that I wanted to go him, to get some sleep, and maybe figure it out in the morning. Maybe with the new light of day, everything would look different.

A girl could hope.