Chapter 19

Mills

Mills thought he was going to have a heart attack. What he felt in the changing rooms was something he didn’t know even existed.

All of this, everything he was… for a second it didn’t matter. He was another person, renewed, free of sin.

All thanks to her. Everything he had done in his life led to this, to meeting her. To hold her and surrender his very soul to her.

They escaped the changing rooms one by one after helping Jena clean herself with the now destroyed red dress.

“You have to get another one,” he whispered to her, laughing.

Her eyes told him everything, she was thinking the exact same thing.

Beast was the first one out. He walked heavily outside, then Mills did the same, and finally, after a few minutes of waiting, Jena followed, dressed in jeans and an overcoat.

They paid for everything and left as soon as they could.

“Did you see the cashier’s face when we showed her the rags?” Jena asked with a laugh.

“She knew,” Mills said.

“Of course she knew, just take look at that thing!”

The ripped in half dress was full of stains. They didn’t show it to the lady, obviously, she only needed the tag, but her eyes were fixed on the fabric.

“Hey,” Beast said, “are you guys hungry?”

“Starving,” Jena replied.

Beast was already walking toward a small restaurant on the corner.

“This kebab place,” Beast said, grabbing the door handle, “you gotta try it.”

Mills smiled, Beast was much more talkative than usual. One could even say he looked happy.

Damn. I never thought I’d get to see that.

Jena strutted behind him into the restaurant; Mills was the last one in.

The place was kind of small, just ten tables or so, with a very old-school feeling to it. This was a family restaurant, not a franchise.

They ordered and sat on a booth in the corner of the place. Jena sat first, Mills followed her, Beast sat accross them.

Lots of people walked around outside, busy with their lives.

It didn’t take long for the food to arrive, the delicious looking chicken and lamb meat in a pita bread filled with vegetables made Mills’ stomach rumble.

“Well, damn,” Mills said, “it looks even better than in the pictures.”

“That’s a first,” Jena said.

“Told you, man, it’s fucking great food.”

Mills took a bite of his kebab, freaking hell, it was so good.

“How come you never told me about this place?” He asked Beast.

“Never got the chance.”

“You can’t do that to people, man, you got to share!”

Beast and Jena laughed, they were having so much fun, from the morning to coming back home early, to the shopping spree to what happened in the changing rooms, this was a day to remember.

“We can’t do that again,” Jena said, “it’s too risky!”

“Risky?” Mills asked.

“Yes! What if someone found out?”

“Then they’ll kick us out,” Beast said, swallowing food, “so what?”

“Well…” Jena replied, trying to come up with an explanation why that would be the worst thing ever, except she knew it wasn’t. It wouldn’t be so bad.

“What if they call the cops?”

“They kick us out,” Beast said, and everyone laughed.

“My God.”

Beast was smiling and commenting on everything, he wasn’t quiet and cold like always.

“What?” Beast asked him, Mills had stared at him for a second longer than he needed too.

He shrugged, “nothing man, you’re in a good mood, that’s it.”

Beast eyes narrowed, “what does that mean?”

“It means you don’t usually make jokes.”

“Maybe my sense of humor is different than yours.”

“A few minutes ago I didn’t even realize you had a sense of humor.”

“Fuck off,” he said, laughing.

“So,” Jena interrupted, “how did you two meet?”

They went quiet. After a few moments of silence, even Jena’s smile faded.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Mills said, “not at all.”

“It’s been a long time since someone asks us that question.”

“It’s okay guys, you don’t need to answer—”

“We met at an orphanage.”

“Mary Magdalene’s Home for Children, northwest of here.”

Jena didn’t say anything, what could she reply to that? “I’m sorry?”

“I got there first,” said Beast, “my parents were heroin addicts, no other family, at least that I know of, they abandoned me when I was eight. Never saw them again. I ended up there.”

“No family for me,” Mills said, “I don’t even remember them. I lived with an old woman in Bridgeport but she started having health problems and couldn’t take care of me.”

“She left you?” Jena asked.

Mills shrugged, “she was on food stamps, I tried to help but I was a kid. What was she going to do? I hated her for years but now that I’m older I guess she made the right choice. At least she found me a ceiling.”

“Do you know where she is now?”

“Probably dead, too.”

He hadn’t thought of that old woman in years, maybe even a decade. A lump gathered in his throat.

“I don’t even remember her name,” he said.

Jena held his hand, “she wanted you to have an opportunity she couldn’t give you.”

Mills smiled, “I know.”

The memory was fuzzy, but he couldn’t forget the smell of that woman. She smelled like flowers. The thought made him smile. It was probably cheap soap. But it didn’t matter, that’s how he remembered her.

“He was aggressive,” said Beast, “and so was I, so at first we got in a few fights.”

“The nuns hated us.”

Beast laughed, “yeah, they did.”

“We had all this shit on our backs, you know, we hated everyone.”

“Well, we thought so, at least I did.”

“You know,” Beast said, “from time to time, a non-profit organized a trip to a ball game, or to an amusement park or whatever. I hated seeing other kids with their families, their parents buying them shit, they looked at us and smiled, but I knew there was pity in their eyes.”

“So we caused trouble. You know, fought random kids, or yelled at grown ups—”

“We were teenagers, after all,” Mills said, “now that I think about it, I guess I really only hated myself. I was angry, feeling worthless.”

Beast didn’t say anything, but Mills knew he felt the same way.

Shit, just talking it out like this made it better already.

“You’ve been through a lot,” Jena said, holding both of their hands on the table, “I’m sorry that you went through that.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Beast said.

“No one adopted us, of course. We made sure they didn’t, in a way.”

“We couldn’t keep a job, since we were homeless—”

“You were homeless?”

Beast shrugged, “for a while, yes.”

“Oh my God—”

“Don’t worry, the story has a good ending.”

“More or less,” Mills said.

“We stopped a mugging, and this man asked our names, a month later we were working for you-know-who.”

Jena nodded.

“It was hard at first, we knew nothing about security, but picking a gun is easy.”

“It’s the pointing it at other people and pressing the trigger that is hard.”

Silence again. This was so much more than Jena expected to hear.

“Damn,” Mills said, smiling again, “this got dark.”

“Yeah…” Beast said, leaning back, “and I just wanted to enjoy my kebab.”

They all laughed.

“Sorry guys,” Jena said.

“Don’t be, you couldn’t have known.”

Mills swallowed, she didn’t need to have all of that baggage thrown at her just like that. Fucking hell, now that he thought about it, he never told anyone the story before. He felt somehow… better?

Did he feel better? Yes. It was like a giant weight was lifted off his shoulders.

But why?

He’d been hiding that part of himself for so long. And she didn’t seem… disgusted by what they were.

Abandoned kids. Unwanted.

She saw right through them, she could read them and comfort them.

He never thought he would like talking about his past to a woman.

“Your turn,” Beast said, grabbing a fry.

” I’m so boring right now.”

“Try us.”

“My parents are from here, blue collar workers, I worked in small restaurants since I was like fifteen. I went to college for business but dropped out because I couldn’t afford it anymore.”

“Your parents?”

She stared.

“Oh, shit,” she said, still surprised.

He and Beast smiled.

“I thought you said you didn’t have a family.”

“Well, I—”

She fell quiet.

“That’s awesome,” Beast said, “you didn’t want to put them at risk.”

“At the cost of your own life.”

“Jena you’re my fucking hero.”

She smiled, “really?”

“It takes balls to do that.”

“Well, I—”

“Why didn’t you say you could hide with them?” Mills asked.

“You know why. First, they’re going to ask questions, second, they’ll want me to go to the police, third, as I said, I didn’t want to put them at risk.”

“Okay, that’s fair.”

“So you had no money for college,” Mills continued.

“No scholarship?” Beast quipped.

“I would have had to take a huge loan and I wasn’t ready to be six figures in debt before I graduated.”

“So you opened up a coffee house?” Mills asked.

“I wish! No, I had to save money, so worked in a mom and pop’s bakery, then evenings at a café. Mom and Dad retired and moved to Florida, to a much smaller place, and well, I wasn’t about to leave so I got a small loan and put it all on my coffee house.”

“Cool,” Mills said, “so you’re in debt right now?”

“I didn’t exactly borrow that much, and I have some money left from the loan so—”

“How much?”

Jena stared at Beast.

“I’m not telling you.”

“Come on, spit it out,” Mills said, “tell us how much.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Well, Mister I-won’t-tell-you-my-real-name, why do you want to know?”

Beast shrugged, Mills laughed.

“She’s got you there, man.”

“Maybe we can help—”

“Absolutely not,” she interrupted, “and that’s that, we’re changing the subject.”

“Jena—” Mills said, but her death-glare was enough to silence him. That was the end of it.

No one had ever looked at him like that. He loved it.

“All right,” Beast said, “you’re the boss.”

“Damn right I am,” she said with a giggle.

Mills couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to be with her forever.

Someone knocked on the glass outside. His survival instincts made him act fast, pushing her down on the booth as he reached out for his gun.

“Wait,” Beast said, his face still cold.

Mills finally looked outside, it was a woman, her face a mix of fear and surprise.

“Guys!” Jena said, “What the—”

She stopped talking, recognizing the woman.

“Oh my God!” She yelled, waving her hands.

“Do you know her?” Mills asked.

“She’s a friend from High school! I haven’t seen her in so long!”

The woman outside still had her mouth open. It had happened so fast, and their reaction was so extreme that of course she was going to freak out.

Mills moved over so Jena could go to her friend, who entered the restaurant.

“How have you been?” She said, genuinely happy to see her friend.

“Great, you?”

“All good! Hey, I’ve been wanting to go to your shop for weeks now—”

“It’s okay, don’t worry—”

“No! Really!” She replied, “I’m just going mad with the pregnancy.”

“Oh God, you’re right, you’re pregnant!”

These women apparently hadn’t seen each other in a long time but they knew everything about each other.

“I saw it on your Facebook, when are you due?”

Facebook. Of course, that was it. Beast stared at them, entertained.

“Four months to go.”

“Gosh, I’m so happy for you, we need to see each other more often.”

“For sure—”

Jena turned to the guys.

“Oh wait, guys, I want you to meet Mona, she and I know each other for ages now.”

“Ages!” Her friend said.

They stood up and shook hands. With all the layers she wore, it was difficult to see the bump on her belly.

“This is David Mills, and this is…”

Her voice trailed off.

“Call me Beast.”

“Beast? Really?”

The big man smiled and nodded.

“You can tell her your real name,” Jena said, pretending she already knew it. Nice try.

“No, I’m cool, thank you.”

Mona smiled, “well, nice meeting you guys.”

“Sure,” Mills said.

“Hey, I need to run right now, work never ends, right?”

“Right, sure, go on!” Jena replied.

“I’ll call you later, we should go out for lunch soon, what do you say?”

“I’m up for it!”

“Hey, wait, let me take a picture, this is so great!”

Jena stood beside her and smiled, Mona took a picture.

“Okay, I have to run now!”

Jena seemed so happy to see her, after Mona was gone, she combed her hair and sighed, looking back at them.

“I hadn’t seen her in a while.”

“She seems to be doing all right.”

“Oh, she’s a genius, always has been.”

“Really?” Said Beast, “she looked pretty normal to me.”

“Pretty normal? Really, Beast?”

“Wel—”

“She does advanced math and statistics for IBM, she’s always been kind of nerdy.”

“She seems like a good person.”

Jena shrugged, “the best.”

They sat down again. It was crazy how people could have that kind of friendship. To be able to know people for years or more, stop seeing them and then, one afternoon, find them in a kebab place and talk as if time hadn’t passed at all.

Jena had it all. She was a happy person. He was lucky to have met her. She was the balance he never knew he needed. She was perfect for him.

For us.

He should have felt wrong, should have felt jealous and possessive. Just thinking of seeing her with another man drove him mad with anger.

But somehow, with Beast it wasn’t like that. He was grateful to have him with them, actually, to share her. However long this lasted, even if things went wrong, he could count on him to protect her.

Besides —he couldn’t deny it— they seemed to be in perfect sync when they made love to her. Pleasuring her was an absolute turn on, and together they took her to new heights, giving her everything. It was perfect, again.

This is insane.

He knew it was, but who cares? Insane was living a life in constant danger, with nothing to connect you to the real world. Insane was having loads of money but nowhere to spend it, insane was thinking this could last forever.

A lump gathered at his throat. Shit. Sooner or later, they would either find them, or she would have leave.

We’re just putting her in danger.

“So, what are we doing tonight?” Jena asked.

His body went stiff, she was looking at him, placing her hand over his, without a worry in the world.

“Maybe we could go see a movie,” she followed.

“We can’t,” Beast said.

“Guys, come on. I don’t think anyone is actually looking for me. Things turned out fine.”

“No, it’s—” He said.

“We could go to the theater near the house. It’s pretty far from here, too.”

Mills looked at his friend. Beast smiled.

“I haven’t seen a movie in years.”

“You can’t be serious,” she said.

“I think the last one I saw was with these guy, what’s his name? He meets a girl who keeps forgetting stuff.”

Jena broke out laughing, “Fifty first dates?

“Yeah, I think that was it—”

“No! Really? It’s been years since that one came out!”

“I’ve been kind of busy, I guess.”

“What about you?” She turned to Mills with eagerness in her eyes.

Mills shrugged.

“It’s been a while, too. There’s always something going on in this business.”

“So are we going on a date?”

He and Beast kept quiet for a few seconds, Jena’s smile faded before they asnswered.

“We gotta work tonight.”

“Oh,” she said, deflated, “okay, we’ll do it some other day.”

“Sure,” Beast followed.

“It’s not dangerous, right?” She asked.

He and Beast looked at each other. Would they lie to her to keep her calm? Or be honest and make her worry?

This was harder than he thought. If it was anyone else he would have lied and that would be that. He didn’t have to explain anything to anyone.

“We’re good at this, don’t worry.”

He couldn’t lie. Not to her. Never to her.

“So it is dangerous.”

Beast nodded, “it’s the nature of the business.”

“We’ve been in worse situations. Don’t worry.”

He knew how stupid that sounded, but he had to try to reassure her. Jena didn’t say a thing, but she was nervous, he could see it in her eyes, in her whole body language.

She leaned back, taking her hand away from him, looking at the people outside.

“You guys, promise you’ll take care of yourselves,” she whispered, pretending to be fine, but the crack on her voice, minimal as it was, said everything.

“Jena,” he started, “you knew—”

“Don’t worry about me, Mills,” she said, her eyes locked with his, “I know what I was getting in to the second I saw you. The second I heard your voice, Beast’s too. I don’t want you to worry about me. Just come home safe, all right? That’s all I ask.”

“Of course,” he said, and Jena placed her hand over his again, then Beast’s too.

“Just come home safe.”

They paid the bill and walked out of the restaurant in silence. The day felt suddenly colder, even if the sky was clear and the sun hadn’t yet set.

The streets were half empty, it was mid afternoon, everyone sat on their comfy offices, working.

“I’ve got an idea,” Mills blurted out midstride, “we could go to the movies and then we attend our pending business.”

Jena held his hand in a burst of excitement, “really?”

Beast looked at his watch, smiling. The motherfucker was actually smiling. He was genuinely happy.

“Well, we still have a lot of time,” he said, “let’s do it.”

And that was that. This was the day he would remember all his life, he knew it. It was a real date.

Too bad it could be their last.

Yes, they had been in bad situations, but most of them involved the element of surprise. A sudden shootout they didn’t expect, a meeting gone wrong, an ambush on disputed territory.

But this was going to be different. This was them, going to the heart of their enemy’s turf to take out one of their biggest moneymaking warehouses.

He didn’t give a fuck whether he lived or died before. But now, all he wanted, everything he could think of was to live. To hear her voice, see her smile, kiss her lips.

And that made it more dangerous than any other time before.