Coming back from a night of dancing usually winds me all up, but tonight is different. Because I knew that Gian was going to be busy with meetings all day, I kind of wanted to keep the home fires warm instead of doing anything else. I took a bath and read, then listened to music. It was so strange to be able to do this, but I quit my job at the diner after I saw how much I made dancing. The truth was that Gian made it very clear that I’d never have to work again. But I didn’t want that. I wanted to be able to do what I wanted and make money for me. But today I didn’t want to dance, didn’t feel like hanging out with anyone. I wouldn’t need it to be so excited for Gian’s arrival. In fact, I think that would've been too much for me. Today I needed to relax.

Because before this life I have now … I don’t remember when I could just relax. I have time to do things like read novels. Reading a whole novel can take so many hours I almost froze myself to death in the tub, lingering long after the warmth, getting caught up in the story. It's so nice to be able to relax. I enjoy rubbing fancy creams and lotions all over my body, taking care to do my hair even though I was staying inside. I even did my makeup — though not as extravagant as if I was going on stage, I found that I wanted to look as beautiful as I possibly good for Gian when he came home.

Home.

That’s what I think of this suite as. I considered asking Gian for my own place when our arrangement first began. But I haven’t really wanted that since…since he fucked me like he did and showed me a side of him that I didn’t know could exist. I wanted to be near him. I like that when he’s not here and I am, the sheets still have his scent on them. I like that living in the same suite as him means that most nights, we sleep side by side. Or, as I prefer, in Gian’s arms.

I have an attachment to Gian like I’ve never had before. The truth is, I’ve never been close to anyone before Gian. I had no relationships. My brother was the only person in my life and he kept me at a distance to cope with his own problems. Never, ever, could I keep a friend for long. They thought I was weak. They didn’t share my interests.

People always have reasons for not wanting to be in my life, or I have reasons to not want others in my life.

Yet, here I am. The girls at the club, the girls at the spa…I think of them as true friends now. And Gian…he’s like a boyfriend in a really twisted way. He may not be my ‘boyfriend’ but I know that I’m his girl. I can’t believe my strange little life.

And I kind of love it.

I like having my own little world with him. That’s really why I wanted to stay in today. I took some kind of strange pleasure in the idea that today, only Gian would see me. And I don’t know if I should tell him that because I know he’s not thrilled with the fact that I’ve decided to take up dancing on a pole in his club…but even though I enjoy that, I also enjoy being his. He is as close to understanding both as I think he’s ever going to, so I’ll just not press the issue or bring it up.

When the evening starts to wind down, I expect that Gian will arrive any time now. Instead of wearing any fancy lingerie, I opted instead to be completely naked for his arrival. I think there’s bound to be some level of excitement for that on his part. I grab a glass and a bottle of wine from the bar. It's always so well stocked, but I haven’t seen Gian drink from the bar or drink alcohol anywhere else since the night I met him and offered myself up to him.

Maybe it's a coincidence. But maybe it isn’t. I put the alcohol and the wine back and opt to wait for him while opening a second novel to read. I mean, there’s no story so compelling that I won’t drop it the instant Gian walks in. Except I must've picked the most boring story in the world and I can barely hang on while reading it. Despite doing mostly nothing all day, I find myself yawning and before I know it, I’m asleep, naked, in the bed I share with Gian only now I’m sharing it with a novel from my paperback stack next to the bed.

I wake up much later in the evening to Gian’s fingers stroking my chin.

“You must be tired, Luce, you don’t have to wake up,” Gian says in a low voice. There’s some emotion that I don’t understand in his voice, and he’s never called me Luce before. Only my brother has ever called me that.

Yawning, then wiping the sleep from my eyes, I sit up in bed. “No, this book was just very boring and instead of picking a different one, I apparently let it put me right to sleep,” I say with a small laugh.

Gian looks at me, bemused. Only the moonlight illuminates his gorgeous face, but there’s something in his eyes that tells me he needs me.

“What is it, Gian? What’s wrong?” I ask him. I can’t imagine what kept him so long, mostly because I don’t know anything about his business. But Gian always seems so unbothered. So in control. It makes me hurt for him to see him any other way.

“Don’t you worry about it. You can go back to sleep,” Gian says, standing.

Unconsciously, I touch my face where his hand was.

I get up to knees on the bed and look at him. “No, I want you. I’ve wanted nothing more today than to see you.

Gian’s eyes look at my naked body in the moonlight, a sliver of the silver shining over my breasts.

“Well, this is a much better sight than I’ve had all day,” Gian says. He laughs again, smiles, but there’s a heaviness in him that I wish I could erase. I wish he would at least share with me what’s wrong. “Please, Gian, tell me what’s wrong,” I say in a soft voice. I don’t want to push him if he doesn’t want to talk, but the truth is that I’ll be very hurt if he doesn’t want to tell me what’s wrong.

Gian looks at me and the smile over his face breaks through the sadness in his eyes. “I don’t even like Luke Gravos, but his wife…she’s worse than Terry ever was. Luke and I convinced her to back off, but she really wanted his head. I’m so glad I have you, Lucy. You’re more than I could have ever hoped for.” Gian’s eyes drink me in.

I can’t help but smile. Gian can and did open up to me. He trusts me like I trust him. And he needs me.

Gian’s hand closes over my breast, and another goes to grasp the back of my neck, holding me as he dips to kiss me. I’m still concerned for him, but this is perhaps how Gian needs me. Physical touch shows more than Gian can ever say, even though he’s so open with me. I know that when he opens up to me even a little bit that he’s as surprised as I am. That’s both flattering and frightening. Because I care so deeply for Gian. I don’t want him to be closed off from the world. Most of all, I want him to be able to open up to me.

Right now my lips are parting for him. His knees press apart my thighs to spread my legs while he deepens our kiss. I can’t stay steady with the way he’s splaying me out for him. His hand on my neck drops to my back. “I’ve got you,” Gian murmurs into my mouth.

Yes, yes he does. The words are a siren song to my soul. Every time he says them, they become more and more true.

First, he had me because of the deal.

Then, he had me because of how quickly he took care of Tommy.

The kiss…that first kiss he gave me fucking undid me in every way.

Now, every time he says he has me, when I might fall because of how he goes after my body, it's my heart and soul that I wonder that he doesn’t have. Gian is always on my mind. He already has me there. The other parts of me…well, right now, with his body overtaking mine, it's difficult to think about more.

Difficult, but not impossible. Well, not for much longer. I know that the way that Gian fucks me means I’ll barely remember my own name by the time he gets going.

He doesn’t even bother getting onto the bed first before getting inside me. His cock is in me so fast that I cry out at the feel of him sliding his thick rod into me. Gian presses me down to the bed, impaling me fully on his cock while he lays down on top of me and lays me down onto the bed.

“I thought only of this, all day,” Gian says against my neck. His hips roll and he slams into me with a quick, forceful thrust. I’m already aching for him and the hard way he’s started fucking me drives me crazy in all the right ways. “I love driving my cock so deep in your sweet pussy,” Gian continues. His words make my nipples ache for him, even though he’s already pressing his body against them, I want to press into him harder yet. I need to be closer to him which, as far deep inside of me as he is, is actually difficult. But I’m groaning, aching with need. I use all the strength I have to slam my hips up to meet his thrusts. A wet sound fills the air, the musk of my pussy thick in the air. I’m so damn wet for him, I actually feel my arousal sliding down my thighs. That wet sound when he slams into me is unmistakable.

“I’m so wet, Gian, I wanted you to fuck me all day. I waited all day for you to cum inside me,” I say with a whimper. My breathing is close in time with every thrust, making my words jumpy and urgent.

“Good, Lucy, but I’m going to fuck you harder and deeper before I cum inside this pussy tonight,” Gian says and closes his teeth over one of my earlobes. It makes me sigh, squirm against him.

I like the sound of him fucking me deeper. I imagine I’m like clay, I’m malleable and my body is so consumed by his that deep inside of my pussy is the imprint of his cock. I’m shaped just for him. I cum only for Gian. I ache for his body interlocked with mine. It isn’t such madness to think that I’m formed for him, and I like the thought even if it's silly. I blame how hard and deep he fucks me. These unrelenting thrusts clear all thoughts from my mind except how deep and hard he is fucking me.

Sure enough, Gian makes good on his promise. He pulls back and then grabs my thighs, spreading them up and apart. His hands maintain their grip, and his hips return to their previous speed.

The pressure in my pussy is instantly so much stronger that I scream out. The sound is buried in the exertions of his cock slamming into me. Somehow this angle is so much deeper that it drowns out the sounds that claw their way up to my throat and I don’t know what to do. I can hardly breathe. The pressure is so intense that it feels like my body is going to burst. Gian has me pinned under him, and he’s fucking me so hard I think I might black out. The pressure and the pleasure spiral together. I feel so helpless beneath him now and he’s fucking me so hard I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk straight tomorrow. Which I don’t mind at all.

I can’t believe how slutty this thought is, but I like the idea of Gian fucking me so hard that I walk bowlegged or something like that. I like feeling sore after he fucks me. The memories against my skin, deep in my pussy, against my soul, are little scars and badges of honor. They aren’t permanent, they aren’t forever, but when they can remain until the next time he fucks me, it makes me feel somehow more complete.

Gian and I are both glistening in a sheen of sweat beneath the moonlight. Gian switches his tack from thundering thrusts at lightning speed to slow, deep, hard thrusts that make me yelp with hunger every time he sinks so deep into me. His hands on my legs squeeze harder and he presses them up higher but also closer together. The closeness and added depth to this angle makes me grit my teeth. It's such an intense sensation that I’m gasping for air, my lungs begging to be filled up with fresh air so that I can breathe. When people talk about someone taking their breath away, this is what they should be talking about. Because this literally breathtaking sex position is the most incredible sensation that’s ever overtaken my body.

Just when I think I might succumb to madness if he fucks me like this any more, Gian pulls my legs back down and brings his hands under my ass to hold me and lift me up while he fucks into me slower. It's these maddening slow strokes that are a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they’re a reprieve from the ultra intense fucking before. So it seems like I should be able to catch my breath and take everything that he’s offering me. But on the other hand, the hand I’m actually dealt, I can still barely breathe. My whole body aches for him to fill me up and the second before his cock is all the way in me again, time drags slow and tortures me to the point that I’m inhaling the full length of him and exhaling in a whimper with his every exit.

My hands reach out and I wrap his forearms, squeezing with all might at his arms caging around me for his purchase while he rocks inside of me and makes my whole world evaporate into nothing but need and arousal.

“You look like some kind of goddess of the night,” Gian says in a tender voice. “The moonlight looks good on you,” he says with a satisfied growl.

I’m pleased. I love when he says things like this to me. Gian is the first person to let me know that I’m actually attractive. But even though others find me attractive and I recognize that now, Gian is the only one who makes me feel beautiful. More than that, he makes me feel cherished. Cared for. Wanted. Safe.

I'm so safe in his arms.

I let out a nervous giggle. “Guess we’ll save so much on the lingerie budget,” I offer up a bit of humor, and then bite my lip when he closes all the spaces within me and fucks his cock all the way up my pussy again.

Gian’s charming grin in the moonlight actually makes my pussy tingle. My clit twitches. That’s how beautiful his face is, how handsome his smile is before he laughs. “Oh, but I’m not going to stop fucking you in the daylight, either. Though that’s not a promise about tonight, as I don’t know how much longer I want to last in your sweet pussy tonight. I missed you.” The admission that he missed me feels warmer than all the other words. What was light becomes heavy. What was sweet becomes treasured.

I know that I’ll never forget how he said that. I wish I could tell him how much he means to me, but I don’t even know how to put those feelings into words or even expressions with my body.

“I missed you, too, Gian,” I say. The words are true but they are inadequate.

Gian says more with his body, with his words, than I could with an entire dictionary in my hands and a thousand years. The only thing more mysterious to me than what I wish I could say to Gian is what on earth it is that I feel for him.

I don’t know what being in a relationship feels like. Other than the incredible experiences that I have with Gian, I don’t even know what sex or orgasms feel like. I just know that…I don’t ever want to be without him.

Gian wants me, after all, he insisted on keeping me forever. But it feels like more and more, Gian is conflicted beyond what he feels. There’s something else, especially now with his upset demeanor when he arrived. The slower and deeper he strokes into my pussy, the more my mind obsesses over every detail I can think of.

“Where did you go, baby girl?” Gian asks. His lips close over mine, eating any answer I might've had. And I didn’t have one. How do you put into words things you don’t know and talk about the very things that you can’t put into words?

I let myself fall into a kiss. Even though he’s on top of me, the feel of his lips on mine, kissing me slow and deep and sensual as the way that he slides his cock into me is enough to make me feel disconnected from space, time, or any worries that were on my mind.

When he starts to speed up, worries are a million miles away and I’m aching with the intense pressure building up within me. The orgasm aching to be released builds up in my body and makes me want to scream out, to beg. But that’s not how this works.

I kiss Gian deeper, roll my body against his, hold him tight, and let myself be driven further and further into madness. I ache for him, long for him. I could live forever in the feeling of his cock inside me. His lips pressed against mine. His tongue sweeping over mine. Gian tastes like a home I’ve never known. The scent of him makes me feel like I’m in a private world where nothing can hurt me.

The arms wrap tighter around him. Squeezing Gian, I lighten my kiss for just a moment and inhale still wrapped up in our kiss. I want to breathe him in forever. I never want to leave his arms. My pussy is shivering. My legs tremble around him and I ache for this to never stop…and my clit is burning with the fire of an angry sun with an urgent need to cum.

It snuck up on me in the serenity of the moment, but it turns my kiss from sweet and passionate to needy and hungry. I’m devouring his mouth the way that his body and his mouth have taught me. I need release, but I have that almost fear in the moment where I get so close to cumming. I guess I’m not quite ready for the intensity of the sensations that I feel until they’re rolling over me so much that I can’t possibly control them, and then I do, for Gian. I hold back an orgasm for him to grant it for me, and that may be twisted in all the wrong ways, but it makes me indescribably happy. I long for him to grant me that which makes me feel more alive than I ever have. I want to come undone when he says so. I like when he’s buried deep within me, and that incredibly sexy voice lets me know that it's time to ride the waves we started to their highest parts. The orgasms that I have with him touching me are the only orgasms I’ve had…but they’re just too amazing for words. It's strange, but it's what I like.

I’m reminding myself of that fact while I’m tangling with the need building within me. Gian’s smile, spread across his lips now, makes me so much wetter. The feel of him smiling when we kiss is so tender and sensual and it makes me happier than I know how to say. I remember the Giancarlo Sandoval that I met not that long ago who looked like he never met a smile worth paying for. I don’t just mean women…I mean Gian looked like he never, ever smiled. Thinking about it now breaks my heart and I kiss him impossibly deeper. Let me take his breath away and he’ll get an idea of just how much I need him.

He’s smiling now because he can feel me trembling. I can’t keep kissing him, the tremors overtake me and my need threatens to overcome my body.

Gian tangles his fingers through my hair and moves his kisses to behind my ear, down my neck. “You’re shaking for me,” Gian says in a low, sensual voice. His lips touch my neck when he speaks and that nearly breaks me right there. The hum of his delicious mouth on my skin is a raw, passionate mark against the sands of my desire. With the slightest touch, Gian’s passion can touch me and draw lines where there weren’t any, and make me ache so much I think I might die.

Right now is one of those times I feel like my end might be near. I remember reading about the French calling orgasms little deaths. I understand that now, though I think I’ll suffer a big death if I don’t get to cum soon. Still, Gian’s torturing me with his mouth, and now he starts to thrust faster into me.

Picking up the pace in how he’s fucking me is exactly the sort of thing that builds the pressure inside my pussy to a fever pitch. I’m mewling, whimpering, begging without words to be allowed to cum.

I could beg with words, but I don’t even bother trying to summon them. I don’t want to. I want to see what Gian wants to do with my body, and what he wants my body to do.

Gian is trying to kill me with his cock. There’s no other explanation. He knows how much I enjoy being on the precipice of an orgasm and he’s going to torment me as much as possible. I can’t complain. Well, I can and have, but I delight in the erotic torture. The sensual way that Gian can keep me so much on the edge of every pleasure and then draw me back… an ever-receding wave and tide coming back in makes my thoughts blur into nothing. I’ve never felt so free as I do when Gian fucks me.

Some people meditate. I find that boring and time wasted. I'm always going to start thinking about my grocery list, or what my next day at work is going to be like.

Some people turn to vices like drugs or alcohol. I’ve seen those tear my brother, Tommy, apart.

Me? I let myself get fucked by the wealthy casino owner that could've chopped off some of my brother’s body parts to get him to pay up his gambling debts. I let him because I want him. It all started as some deal, but it's turned into something I don’t even begin to try to understand. Whatever it is that we have, I just know that it's something precious. Something I want to hold onto.

It's more than the sex. Incredible as the sex is. Never before in my life did I place a high priority on sex. Doubtlessly, now, I'm placing a priority on it now. But there’s something about Gian that’s so much more than about his cock or what he can do to me with it. I'm aching for him all the time, but it's more than sex. Gian makes me feel safe. I feel cared for. I know that he cares about what makes me happy, what I need.

The fact that he also seems to crave fucking me as much as I craved being fucked by him? That’s just major bonus points.

My whole life I figured I never needed sex, and I had no desire to go after it. No man interested me.

Now, no other man ever will. Giancarlo Sandoval fucks like a demon, but I see heaven when he’s inside me. Nothing could ever be so utterly sensual as how well Gian fucks me. He knows my body far better than I could ever know my own. I know I must sound like a foolish girl, but that’s just the truth. When he touches me, he creates feelings in me that I didn’t know I could have.

Right now, my eyes are rolling back in their orbits and I’m hardly able to hang on to any thought in my head. I live a pampered life now, but despite dancing for the eyes of many, or having my hair and nails done, or my body massaged like I’m some wealthy woman, nothing makes me feel like more of a queen than when Gian worships my body, keeps me on the edge of an orgasm, and then finally lets me cum. Pulls me all the way to the edge and then has me come undone for him. From his touch. The idea of orgasming for him is so erotic I might unload this pressure now just thinking about it. But that’s not what I want. I don’t want to cum until Gian says I can cum. It's strange, because taking orders from a man is so not my thing at all. In fact, I won’t do it unless I absolutely have to. But I just love when Gian controls when I cum, determines how and when I cum. It's hotter than anything I can imagine, and it shocked me as much as it did him, I think, when we fucked the first time and I wanted him to keep up his erotic torture forever. I feel safe in the space between the most intense pleasure continuing and that pleasure peaking to the utmost heights it can; I feel safe when Gian is in control of my body. I knew from the instant Gian kissed me that he knew my body and what my body likes better than me. His control of my orgasms is the purest expression of that.

Gian presses the hard wall of his chest to the soft pillow of my breasts. The feeling of him against me sets off fireworks under my skin. I feel us both slicked with sweat now from the intensity and exertion. But I don’t fire off until he’s ready. Still, I’m trembling around him. My legs are spread wide on the bed and if I had strength enough I would lock them together behind Gian’s back. But I’m using every ounce of my energy to hold my orgasm at bay until Gian sets me free.

His lips close over mine, but before I can kiss him, his teeth and lower lip scrape my lower lip into his mouth. He tugs lightly and it shocks me for just a moment enough that I’m not focused on holding back my pleasure and waiting. It trips me up and I shudder beneath him. Gian releases my lip and pulls me closer to him for a kiss. Breathing in my breath, he moans into my mouth. “Cum for me, baby,” and now it's my turn to moan into his mouth.

I shake hard enough to break our kiss, and I turn my head to the side and cry out. The intensity of the orgasm thundering through my body shocks me, and I’d been holding the sensations back. I can’t believe how much I needed this, either, because the unknown stress of the anxiety is clear to me. I had such stress from not being with him. I don’t know if that’s what bothered Gian, or something else, but I’m so content to be coming undone with his cock buried inside me. I feel that massive rod slam deeper into me, and the hot jets of cum sliding deep in my pussy. He’s unloading and I’m cumming as hard as my body possibly can. I finally make my shaking thighs encapsulate Gian and I pull him tighter in.

“I wish I could go deeper inside you, Lucy,” Gian says with a groan.

He makes a good point. That long, thick cock is fucked as far up into me as it can be, but the way I’m squeezing him so tight against me is just slamming him against me in the same places because there’s simply nowhere else to go. Gian’s huge cock fills me up so that there’s not even room for air, and that fullness drives me wild. Tremors shake through my body and I feel my pussy strangle Gian’s cock, milking all the cum out of that monster until there’s nothing more to give. I’m lost in the shudders and the sighs of my own orgasm, however, because I crave Gian’s cock inside me so much that body just goes off on its own little orgasm tangent. My hands are running up and down his back, squeezing him, scratching down his back, grabbing him, and just having to touch him as much as possible. I have to hold onto him while the aftershocks of my orgasm ride through me until I’m totally spent.

I don’t even remember more than him turning us over, his cock still inside me, because I fall asleep almost instantly. My eyes are shut before I realize it — maybe I was squeezing them shut? I feel the rise and fall of his chest against my cheek, hear his heartbeat, and nothing else matters. The world around me fades and my arms pull up to hold him as he’s holding me, and I feel so safe.

I know it wasn’t an easy road here, but now I’m happier than I could've possibly imagined.

“I love you, Lucy,” Gian says, kissing me.

“I love you, too,” I tell him. I mean it. I mean it more than I’ve ever meant anything in my life. “You saved my brother. And you saved me. Thank you, Gian,” I say and then yawn because I’m so spent, so satisfied, so sated.

“You saved me, baby girl,” Gian says, kissing me again and holding me even closer. “Marry me, please,” he says so softly I almost don’t hear him.

“Yes,” I say with all the strength I have left. “I want to be your wife, Gian.”

He holds me tighter and I’m happier than I ever knew that I could be.

With such perfect happiness surrounding me, I can fall right asleep. A dreamless world of warmth and happiness greets me in the black velvet behind my eyes.

I’m Gian’s, and he's mine.