Chapter 2.

Ed usually liked the award ceremonies, and they were an important part of running the family foundation – a symbol of everything worthwhile his parents had left behind. At their best, the events celebrated those doing good work in the community, and brought the foundation some decent publicity as well.

Lately he’d been feeling a bit jaded, though, and he wasn’t looking forward to tonight’s event. It was, he thought, going to be the usual line-up of earnest do-gooders and self-serving egotists, and he would smile and shake hands and congratulate each of them. Plaques and cheques would change hands, photos would be taken, and everyone would move on to the free refreshments, which seemed to be the only reason most of them were there.

Normally he found some pleasure in all of this, but right now all he really wanted to be was back in his dreams with the green-eyed man in his arms as they lay on the ground, bodies grinding together and mouths exploring urgently. Every time it had seemed so real, and he had been so close to having everything that was really important to him, and then every time he had woken up alone. Frustration washed over him.

He’d been alone for too long, and the Community Garden award he was handing out tonight had set him to thinking about gardens. That was all. The power of suggestion was setting off fantasies in his lonely mind. He was pathetic, to the extent that a healthy man with this much money could be pathetic.

He had a good life and a prosperous one, even if that was mostly by virtue of being born into a wealthy family in a wealthy nation. He didn’t have any right to complain, but still something was missing. Someone. Someone who had been taking shape in his dreams, getting closer and closer each time, but still holding back, just out of reach.

Having a picture of his imaginary lover fixed in his mind didn’t help. A tall lanky fair-skinned guy, with auburn hair and laughing green eyes that met his dark ones without pretense or subterfuge. No games except the best kind, when they were rolling around in bed together, holding onto each other, kissing and touching ...  Was he going crazy?  

He sighed. Probably crazy. But maybe he’d been careful and sane for too long. He hung his suit up, pulled out a tux and polished the shoes, and dressed for the part he had to play. No rolling around in the dirt, just shaking hands under the spot-lights, and posing for photo-ops for the local media. “Edward Renfield of the Renfield Foundation ...” Another night in paradise.

At least he still looked good in the tux, despite the couple of pounds he’d put on. If this kept up he’d have to take it in to the tailor and have it let out though. Love handles were all very well, but these days there wasn’t anyone to grab onto him, crying out in pleasure as he slammed into them, finding sweet release. He really hoped that this wasn’t old age creeping up on him. He had just turned thirty-three, for crying out loud. He needed to shake his life up a little bit, that was all. Take a vacation, go somewhere he could just be himself. Whoever that was.

It was just that the usual men he met at the club and at society events didn’t interest him anymore. They hadn’t for years now, he realized. They all seemed so shallow, so superficial – and so interested in his money. Was that just because he was getting shallow and boring himself? God, he hoped not. Maybe he should get a goldfish or something. Or one of those purple Siamese fish. They were cool. God, he was getting pathetic. Maybe a lizard? He laughed at himself, and kept moving.

The award ceremony was everything he expected, which was to say that the conversation was boring and the food was mediocre. There were quite a few more children than what was normal for these events, and it crossed his mind that someone was going to be having a word with security about that, but it wasn’t his department. There was always a lot of leftover food, and the neighbourhood urchins might as well enjoy it. Their happy laughter livened up the usual buzz of dull conversation, and this lot seemed to have decent manners, at least.

He was going through the motions, a false smile plastered on his face, until they came to the final award. It was for a significant amount of money, which in this case was going to a community garden which needed to expand and by all accounts deserved the support. It had looked good, from the pictures. His assistant had recommended it and he had approved it without paying too much more attention than that. He’d quit paying attention quite a while ago, he realized, and he had to do something about that too. The Foundation had been the only part of the family business he enjoyed, and now he was just going through the motions. It deserved better than that, in memory of his parents.

And then the Garden’s manager stepped onto the stage to accept the award and the cheque, and he felt like he’d been hit by something large and heavy. The man standing there, whose name he hadn’t even heard, was a tall lanky fair-skinned guy with auburn hair, and green eyes that looked more startled than laughing at the moment. The man stared at Ed in confusion, apparently having been hit by the same truck.

Years of experience at doing the right thing kicked in, and he shook hands instead of pulling the guy into his arms, and turned to face the cameras instead of grabbing the guy and sticking his tongue down his throat. From the dazed look on the man’s face, he was having the same problem. Ed managed to stroke one hand along the back of the man’s neck, fingers barely teasing through the soft red hair, and just about moaned at how good it felt. He could have sworn that the man rubbed back into his hand, just a little bit, but then the moment passed and he had to let go.

Formalities over with, a wave of children swarmed up onto the stage to hug the red-headed guy and be swept up into his arms. Ed felt an irrational tug of jealousy that the children could be where he wanted to be.

The guy was pulled away from him by laughing crowds of people, presumably all from the community garden, as they looked considerably happier and more colorful than the usual attendees at these things.

Someone handed him a drink that he didn’t want, and he abandoned it immediately to track down the red-head. A tall red-head in a brightly embroidered Central American shirt shouldn’t have been hard to find in the crowd, but every time he got a glimpse of him he was interrupted and pulled away by someone with some question or another.  Good manners had been drilled into him from an early age, but for once he really wished that he could just push his way through the people and get to this guy before he disappeared again.

He was reaching the point of total frustration when he realized that he was speaking to a trim Central American lady who was thanking him profusely for the grant which was going to make it possible for them to double the size of their Community Garden and do all these other marvelous things. She was also, apparently, perfectly well aware of where his attention was focused, and was laughing at him.

“He’s not going anywhere, he’s not like, what you call it, Cinderella. Come, have another photo taken, look pretty for our website, and I will tell you where to find him later.” Then she glared at him. “But you treat him good or they’ll never find your body.”

He wasn’t sure if she was joking or not. “Um, yes, ma’am.”

“He’s a good man and we all love him, but maybe not the way he needs to be loved, if you know what I mean.”

Ed thought he knew what she meant, if that was really what she meant, but couldn’t think of anything intelligent to say. She was back to laughing at him. “You Americans, you think you invented everything. Come on, photos first, then love.”

This was definitely turning out to be one of the more interesting ceremonies he’d attended, and he was feeling better already. By the time the last of the photos and the interviews were done there was no red-head in sight, but the smiling lady had tucked a piece of paper into his pocket, and there was an address on it. Life was looking up.

It never even occurred to him to wait until the next day to go introduce himself. The guy might or might not disappear like Cinderella, but Ed wasn’t taking any chances.