CHAPTER 24
JIMMY
Pacing from one end of the hotel room to the other, I took a few deep breaths and shook out my hands. I pulled open the mini fridge and uncapped a water before taking a long drink as I listened to the shower running behind the bathroom door.
I was extremely wound up—probably from holding myself back with Mackenna all week. Although we made out like teenagers and were almost always touching in some way, we hadn’t gone further than kissing since last Sunday.
Mackenna hadn’t asked for it, and I hadn’t pushed.
But I could feel it—soon one of us was going to lose control. In this battle of wills, one of us would break first.
And I needed it to be her. She had to be the one to make a move.
There was something extremely erotic about that fact that I’d gotten her off, but I hadn’t seen her naked yet. Not even a nipple.
There was also something sexy about being in a hotel room. Maybe because it was unfamiliar. Away from reality. Kind of like being on vacation.
I heard the water shut off, and when Mackenna came out I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. Not because she looked any different than usual—but because she looked the same.
And everything about her was perfect.
Long, damp hair around her shoulders. Pink cheeks and lips stood out against her pale skin. Loose white T-shirt. And those crazy leggings. This pair was decorated in roosters, just like her ridiculous kitchen.
Feeling a little weak in the knees, I sat down on the edge of the bed.
When she got close enough, I grabbed her by the thighs and dragged her over between my legs. From where I was sitting, it put me at the right height to kiss her stomach. I nuzzled the soft material of her shirt with my nose and let out a happy sigh.
“Jimmy,” she whispered. I looked up at her troubled eyes and immediately knew something was wrong. “What are we doing?”
“Um, we’ll probably watch TV or something. We could order a movie—”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it,” she interrupted softly.
Placing another kiss over her belly button, I wrapped my arms around her. She squeaked when I pulled us down onto the mattress so we were lying side by side.
Anxiously twisting her fingers together, she continued. “We’re together all the time. Sometimes you look at me like I’m—” She paused as she searched for the right word. “—important. You called me your girlfriend.”
“That’s what a relationship is, Mack.” I brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “And I’m proud of you. Proud to tell people you’re mine.”
“This wasn’t supposed to be a relationship. It was supposed to be fun.”
I frowned. “You’re not having fun?”
“I am,” she admitted, absentmindedly tracing the tribal tattoo on my chest. “But it seems like more than that, too.”
“I want more than casual with you. I was pretty clear about that from the beginning.”
Her eyebrows pinched together. “I just didn’t realize it was going to feel like this.”
“Like what?”
Those stormy eyes connected with mine, and she didn’t need to say the words for me to know what she meant. She was having feelings for me. Feelings she’d never had before.
“You’re not alone in this,” I told her. “The feeling is mutual.”
“You’re someone to be proud of, too,” she said, affectionately rubbing her thumb over my bottom lip. She smiled a little, but her eyes were sad. “But this won’t last. You know that, right? You’re leaving at the end of the summer.”
She wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know, but there were other options we hadn’t discussed. “What about long-distance? Would you be willing to do that?”
“No,” she replied with certainty.
“No?” Rubbing at the spot over my heart, I tried to lessen the ache I felt at the thought of ending things with her when I went back to school. “We could try. People do it all the time.”
“No,” she said again with a quick shake of her head. “I’m not cut out for long-distance relationships. Missing you would be terrible. I’d always wonder what you’re doing. Who you’re doing it with…”
“You don’t trust me.” It wasn’t a question.
“Don’t take it personally.” Twisting her lips into a wry grin, she attempted to lighten the mood as her hands went back to exploring my body. “It’s not like we’ve known each other for a long time, Jimmy.”
“Well, that’s something I can work on,” I told her. “We’ve still got time.”
Her fingers stopped their perusal of my chest, and her face turned skeptical. “We don’t have to decide anything today.”
Like hell we didn’t. She might’ve been unsure about us, but I wasn’t.
But she didn’t need to know that right now. The last thing I wanted was to scare her away.
“Your brother is the biggest sweetheart in the world,” she said, switching gears on the conversation. “In fact, your whole family is great.”
I smiled. “Ezra’s the best person I know. I’d be lucky to be half as good as him someday.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You ended up being way better than I originally thought,” she joked before her face got serious. “I judged you. I’m sorry about that.”
“I didn’t exactly give you the best first impression.”
She smirked at the reminder. “Speaking of that, your undies? Those little briefs you wear? Hot as fuck.”
I laughed and groaned at the same time.
“Undies? Little briefs? I have no idea how you can talk about it that way and still turn me on, but damn. Say fuck again,” I requested, burying my face in her neck. I playfully nipped at her until she giggled.
“I thought most guys wore boxers.”
“Most guys don’t have a dick the size of mine,” I blurted without thinking, and the look of surprise on her face was almost comical. “I’m not trying to sound like a cocky prick. There’s a practical reason I wear them. They help support things. Plus, I have a piercing. I like to know everything is staying in the right place.”
Mackenna’s eyebrows shot up. “A piercing? On your penis?”
Snickering at the fact that she whispered penis like it was a bad word, I nodded. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out. Then her eyes bounced down to my crotch and lingered there as if she was trying to have x-ray vision.
“Hey, my eyes are up here,” I teased.
She blushed, obviously embarrassed at being called out. If she kept staring at my dick like that, the willpower I was trying to keep firmly in place would definitely unravel.
Scooting up on the bed, I piled the pillows up so we had a place to sit, grabbed the remote, and opened my arms in invitation. Mackenna didn’t hesitate as she crawled up next to me.
We spent the rest of the evening watching bad reality shows and cuddling in bed.
And when she fell asleep, her ear was right over my heart—the heart that was becoming a little less mine and a little more hers every day.