Raphael fumbled around in the kitchen and tried to will himself to calm down. He had tasked himself with making a pot of coffee but groaned in frustration as he lost count while measuring out the grounds for the third time in a row. This was ridiculous. There was nothing for him to be worried about.

He had invited Marcos to come to his house, after all. The fact that the alpha had taken him up on it shouldn't have been surprising. In fact, Marcos had gone out of his way to prove to Raphael that he was interested in him. Extending an offer like that couldn't have been met with any other outcome.

The coffee pot began to burble happily as it started to heat up. Raphael leaned against the opposite counter and took his own pulse. It was racing. If he was this nervous when Marcos wasn't even in the room, how would he handle it when they were face to face?

Raphael strained his ears to listen for the sound of the shower. It was still running. Good, he still had time to try and get his act together.

After Marcos had arrived, soaked and silent on his doorstep, Raphael had given him a towel and offered to let him use the shower to warm up and chase away the chill that had soaked through him. The alpha had willingly accepted but he had seemed strangely subdued. Some change had come over him in the few hours since Raphael had seen him last. The transformation was more than a little unsettling.

Only after Marcos was in the shower did it occur to Raphael that no one had ever come to him for comfort and support before. He could only assume from Marcos' expression that that was what he needed right now. Yet nothing in Raphael's life had ever prepared him for this. He didn't know what to say or what to do. Should he even say anything at all?

The only thing he could think of was to start by treating Marcos' physical symptoms and go from there. The alpha had been cold and wet so Raphael's task first task was to get him warm and dry. Hopefully the coffee and the blankets on the sofa would help with that aspect.

As coffee began to patter down into the pot below, the sound of the shower ceased. This was it. He needed to swallow his fear and nervousness and just power through. Whatever Marcos was struggling with right now he had come to Raphael for help. He had a duty, an obligation almost, to do his best and make sure that the alpha's needs were met.

Raphael swallowed as he dug through the cupboard and tried to find two coffee mugs. It wasn't often that he had occasion to drink something hot. He usually made himself iced coffee in the morning before heading to work. As a result, the coffee mugs were hidden in the depths of the cupboard back behind pretty much everything else. Moving everything around to try and free them resulted in quite a bit of clattering and the occasional bang as things knocked together.

"You're making quite the racket in here. Did you lose something?"

Raphael gasped and flinched at the sound of Marcos' voice from so close by. He knocked a drinking glass out of the cupboard and it tumbled towards the ground. Just before the impact, it was snatched to safety by Marcos.

"I'm sorry," Marcos said as he set the glass on the counter. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

The alpha was now quite close and looked much less ragged than he had when he arrived. His dark, curly hair had been towel dried and damp curls hung around his face. It looked like the pajamas from Raphael's "fat days" fit the alpha's muscular frame quite well, the fact that they were nearly the same height obviously helped things.

Raphael could almost feel the heat of the shower emanating off of Marcos and a familiar scent clung to his skin; cinnamon with just a hint of something else. He couldn't even remember the number of body washes he tried before finally finding one with a scent that he actually enjoyed. That same scent, clinging to the alluring, powerful figure standing in front him seemed more intoxicating now than it ever had before. He wanted to lean forward, bury his face against Marcos' neck, and surround himself with the scent of him.

"I hope you don't mind, I used some of the stuff you had in the shower," continued Marcos. A grin touched his lips as he spoke. He seemed aware of the effect the body wash was having on Raphael.

"I...I don't mind." Raphael forced himself to speak. "I'm glad the clothes fit." He forced himself to turn away from Marcos and continue with his original task. This time, he successfully retrieved the coffee mugs, despite the fact that the alpha was hovering so close to him.

"I hope I'm not causing you any trouble," said Marcos. For some reason Raphael found himself thinking that Marcos' voice sounded the way chocolate tastes. Smooth, rich and creamy, and it touched a part of him that few other things in his life could. It wasn't just physical attraction however. The way Marcos spoke made Raphael feel as if he was the only thing that mattered in the world. It was a sensation that he couldn't help but find a little terrifying, being the sole object of one's attention wasn't something he had ever really had to deal with before.

"Not at all." Raphael was trying to maintain his composure. Thus far he thought he was actually doing a pretty good job of it. "Do you want some coffee?" He forced himself to keep his eyes on the rising level of the coffee pot and tried his best to ignore the watchful eyes that he knew were watching his every move.

"I would, actually." Marcos' voice adopted a surprisingly normal tone and he withdrew slightly.

As soon as he moved away, Raphael found himself breathing a little more easily. The pressure in the room had shifted and the rising sexual tension had evaporated in an instant. He poured the coffee and was proud of himself for managing not to spill any of it. In his mind he had pictured a lake of coffee on the kitchen floor because his hands were shaking.

"There's cream and sugar on the counter by you there," said Raphael as he handed the mug off to Marcos. An electric tingle prickled across his skin as their fingers brushed. He felt like such an adolescent, getting excited by touching the hand of the boy he had a crush on.

Marcos turned and began fixing up his coffee without a word. When Raphael glanced at his face, however, he could tell that something was troubling him.

Raphael cleared his throat as he poured his own coffee. The words he wanted to say had already ordered themselves in his head, but he couldn't quite seem to get them out. Every time he tried it felt like something was physically preventing his voice from forming.

He glanced over at the alpha again, Marcos seemed lost in thought as he added cream to his coffee.

"Marcos." Raphael tried to get his attention before he overfilled the cup. "Marcos, hey, Marcos!" He reached out and laid a hand on the alpha's shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts just as the coffee spilled over the lip of the mug.

Marcos swore. "Dammit, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, don't worry. It'll clean up easy." Raphael grabbed a nearby towel and handed it to Marcos. "You seemed pretty out of it there. Are you okay?"

The alpha quickly cleaned up the mess he had made without speaking. He stared down at the coffee mug and exhaled forcefully before speaking. "I want to say I am, but I guess you wouldn't believe me," he said. "I don't want to dump all this on you. I know you didn't invite me back here to deal with my drama."

"I...we talked about this before, at least a little. You said you were interested in a relationship, didn't you? Sharing drama is kind of part of that, I think." Raphael caught himself speaking before he'd even completely figured out what he was going to say. None of his previous relationships had really been about sharing burdens and supporting one another. He could only assume that normal relationships were different based on things he'd heard from others. The reality is that he was sailing without a compass or stars and had no way of knowing for sure that he was even headed in the right direction.

"I am interested in a relationship with you, but you said you wanted to take things slowly. All of this is a little much for a fledgling relationship." He shook his head and muttered something to himself before looking over and meeting Raphael's gaze.

"It's clearly bothering you," said Raphael as he picked up his coffee. "So we're going to go sit in the living room and you're going to tell me what's on your mind. I don't know if I can help, but I at least want to try." He was a little surprised by how confident he felt as he spoke.

That confidence seemed to reassure Marcos slightly. He picked up his coffee and followed Raphael out of the kitchen into the living room.

"I wasn't sure if you would still be cold or not. There are some blankets there if you want them." Marcos gestured to the couch as he took a seat in one of the high back chairs sitting across from it.

Marcos sat down on the couch and held his coffee as if he was trying to absorb its heat through the mug. At first, Raphael thought he was just lost in thought again. After a minute or two, it seemed like he was instead trying to figure out where to start. He kept opening and closing his mouth as if unable to find the words he wanted to say.

When Marcos finally spoke, his voice was quieter than it had been before.

"I left home as soon as I could," Marcos began.

Raphael hadn't expected the story to start quite so far back. This was a weight that the alpha had been carrying for a while that had been triggered by something that happened after they went to dinner. He found himself beginning to doubt if he could be any real help after all.

"I left home as soon as I could and I begged my mom to come with me," Marcos seemed to be gaining confidence as he spoke. "My dad was an abusive drunk who hated that his only son was an alpha. He used to mock me by saying things like 'you're an alpha so you can handle this. Good thing we've got an alpha in the house or we'd be in trouble.' You get the idea." Marcos looked up at Raphael and it was clear that the sting of his father's barbs still clung to him.

"I had to deal with that every single day until I was old enough to leave," continued Marcos. "The only reason I didn't run away is because I didn't want to leave my mother with that monster. He was awful to me, but the way he treated her was far, far worse. I had always hoped that she would come with me, but when the time came she wouldn't leave that bastard's side." He clenched his hands into white knuckled fists.

"Money had been tight for them for a while. Dad hadn't held a job in years and he drank away all their savings. Mom finally talked him into letting her get a job working at Guillermo's. She was a waitress and bartender and actually pretty good at her job. It kept dad happy and off her back because he could use her employee discount for more booze.

"I went in there every day she worked and tried to get her to come live with me. I only have a small apartment, but I promised her I would get us a better place if she would just leave him. All I wanted was for her to be safe. Then one day I go in to see her and she's got a fresh bruise across her face. She says she walked into a door, but that's a lie. She can't hide it from me. I told her that she's coming to live with me and I wouldn't take no for an answer.

"My fishing crew at the time was close to me. We'd been through a lot together. They knew about my mom's situation and when I asked them for help, they all stepped up. We went over to my dad's house and boxed up my mom's stuff. Dad was so pissed, but there was nothing he could do about it when he was outnumbered and wasn't a match for any of us. We felt so triumphant. We took all her stuff back to my apartment. And then it all went wrong."

Marcos set his coffee cup on the table and rubbed his face. His eyes looked red-rimmed and brimming with emotion.

"When I went to pick her up from Guillermo's, she wasn't there. Guillermo said she'd gone home. I would have run into her if she'd gone to the apartment so I knew he meant that she had gone back to my dad's house. I'd never run so fast in my life. I knew I had to catch her before she got home. I knew that if she went to him, my father would punish her for what I had done." Marcos' voice was choked as this point. His entire body trembled as he struggled to continue with his story. "I never thought he would kill her."