The tightness in Marcos' throat was almost unbearable. He hadn't sat down and actually told the entire story before. Everyone he was close to already knew. He had known that telling the story was going to be difficult, but he hadn't anticipated just how much it would take out of him. The worst part was, he wasn't even finished yet.

"He...he killed her?" Raphael's voice sounded small, as if he could barely believe what he was hearing.

"I barely even recognized her. He'd beaten her so badly that I could have almost convinced myself she was someone else's mom. Except that she was wearing the dress I got her for mother's day just like she had been when I saw her that morning." It had been weeks before Marcos had stopped seeing her in his sleep. The very thought of it turned his stomach and made him feel like he was going to vomit.

"What did you do?" Raphael coaxed him to continue. Marcos was grateful for the nudge, otherwise he might have been stuck reliving that moment for an eternity.

"I don't really remember much of what happened next. Just snapshots really. I remember finding my dad passed out drunk in the living room. Her blood was on his hands and shirt. I remember calling the emergency line...well, I remember grabbing the phone I don't remember the conversation or what I said. I remember the ambulance and the cops...they placed her on a gurney with a white sheet over her body...my dad was dragged away in handcuffs. Guillermo came to get me, I think I must have called him. He took me home.

"All of her stuff was still sitting there where we had stacked it up. Seeing it all, I think that's when reality set in for me. I realized she was gone. I broke down right there and I must have cried for hours before passing out on the floor." Marcos exhaled a shaky breath as he tried to avoid reliving those same emotions over again. Allowing Raphael such an intimate look at his past was difficult enough without turning into a blubbering mess.

"I tried to move on, but nothing helped. I drank a lot, had a lot of sex with a lot of different people...before you ask, yes. I am clean. When I finally sobered up I had the clinic test for pretty much everything. So you've got nothing to worry about." He tried to offer a sly grin to the omega sitting across from him but, judging by the look on Raphael's face, it wasn't very effective.

"One day, when I was barely sober and just clear headed enough to form a coherent series of thoughts, I decided that the best thing I could do was visit my dad in prison." Marcos clenched and unclenched his fists several times before continuing. The thought of that visit was still a source of pain for him. Then again, pretty everything he had shared thus far could be added to that list.

"It had been an open and shut case. The evidence had been overwhelming and, once he sobered up, my dad pretty much admitted to it. After they had my testimony, they had everything they needed to lock him up and throw away the key. None of that seemed to phase the old bastard. He was drunk even in prison. He sat across from me, closer than we are now, and I could smell the booze on him. He just grinned, 'lookee here, it's a real alpha come to stand up to his old man. It's easy for an alpha like you to be tough against someone who's all locked up, isn't it?'"

Marcos clenched his jaw so hard it began to ache. He wanted to punch something, to scream and vent all the pent up anger and emotion that had been festering inside of him. But he bit it back and swallowed it down. All of this was just context for the larger issue. These were old wounds, scars. He hadn't even reached the fresh new injuries his ego had sustained.

"He mocked me, told me it was my fault that my mother was dead. I wanted to kill him. I really did. The things he was saying after the way he terrorized us all my life and most of hers...I just couldn't understand why he was alive, and drunk, looking happy and healthy and she was dead. I left the prison, marched straight to the bar, and found my crew drinking and celebrating someone's birthday. They had been running the boat without me while I dealt with my issues and they all seemed happy to see me. We started drinking together.

"I was determined to forget myself and burn away all of the pain. We all got completely plastered and rowdy. Guillermo cut us off and kicked us out. I wound up sneaking off with one of the crew and we screwed on the beach until sunrise when the others found us. The omega I had hooked up with was married to one of my other crew members. It was something neither of us would have done sober and the alpha knew that. He took his omega back, but that situation caused the entire crew to break apart." Marcos avoided looking Raphael in the eye as he spoke. The shame of what he had done made his ears burn to this day.

"After that I stopped drinking. I cleaned myself up, I put together a new crew. One of my old crew, Teddy, came back to help me out. I joined the volunteer coast guard to give myself something to do when I wasn't fishing and a reason to stay sober. That was all a year ago. I only drink occasionally now and only in the safety of my own home. I'm proud to say that I haven't been drunk since that day, I know my limit and I never exceed it." He wasn't actually sure just how proud he really was of these accomplishments considering what it took for him to reach that point.

"Fast forward to tonight." Marcos took a deep breath before continuing. He was sure he was either boring or terrifying Raphael with his tale. When he chanced a look up at him, however, the omega seemed to be intently hanging on his every word. "This is my third crew since then. Teddy stuck with me through it all, but the others have shifted around. My current crew also doubles as my coast guard crew. I trained and prepared them endlessly for whatever situations I could think of. Then, tonight, we find ourselves in a situation where things look pretty grim. The crew, Teddy included, are convinced that they're going to die and they start questioning me, begging me to do things differently. I stubbornly refuse and ask them to trust me. It all works out, we get back home, we accomplished our mission. Only now I find out that my crew thinks I'm reckless and I'm going to get them killed.

"All of them, Teddy included, turned their backs on me and left. They don't trust me because they don't know me apparently. I didn't want emotional entanglements with my crew because of what happened last time. I didn't drink with them, I didn't really socialize with them, I kept them all at arm’s length and now they've all left me." Marcos sank back against the couch cushions in defeat. "I don't entirely blame them for how they feel. I can understand how it would look from their position, but we've got a hurricane about to make landfall a little over a day and a half.

"I'm not going to bore you with the current fiasco that is the coast guard situation. Right now, my crew and I are...were basically the entirety of the Catalejo island coast guard. There are going to be lives depending on us to come and rescue them. The police department and emergency services expect us to coordinate with them. But they've made their decisions and it's all because I didn't give them a reason to trust me when it counted."

"They volunteered once before," said Raphael. He seemed thoughtful as he spoke. "That means they cared enough to make time for a potentially dangerous job once before. You've just got to find a way to get through to them. Appeal to the side of them that made them volunteer to begin with and maybe you can earn their trust along the way?"

"I know I can try," Marcos admitted. Getting his crew back was the only real option, but he doubted it would be as simple as Raphael seemed to be suggesting. The fact that people might die because of his mistake in managing his crew had left him feeling emotionally crippled. He had tried to push past it after getting out of the shower but he hadn't been able to keep it up for long. There had been too much weighing on his mind that persisted even now.

"You're going to do more than try," said Raphael as he rose from his chair and moved to sit beside Marcos on the couch. "You're going to get them back. You're the alpha that pursued me despite the fact that I have outright told you that it wasn't going to work. I did everything I could to push you away and you wouldn't budge. Now you're sitting here on my couch despite the fact that I told you nothing was going to happen after dinner."

"You said you wouldn't come home with me. You never said anything about your place," corrected Marcos. He couldn't tell if it was the encouragement or Raphael's proximity to him, but he felt better than he had a few minutes ago.

"Either way, we both know I hadn't intended to be anywhere alone with you. If you can help me break down the barriers that I've had up for years then you can certainly win over a bunch of grumpy old turds that got a little scared." Raphael was talking pretty tough for someone who had never been out on any boat much less a boat in a storm. Still, Marcos couldn't help but feel like he was right.

"You've handled all of this rather well," said Marcos as he turned towards Raphael. "I wasn't sure how you'd hold up to my tale of misery and woe."

"I...I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing it with me," said Raphael, offering him a smile that felt like sunshine on a cloudy day. "I know it must've been difficult."

"I probably shouldn't have been quite so long winded. I couldn't separate all the parts in my head so I figured I needed to tell the whole story. I'm sorry if I bored you with it."

"No, I wasn't bored. It's important to you and who you are. I feel like I got to understand you a little better. " There was that smile again.

"I could kiss you right now." Marcos hadn't been prepared for how genuine Raphael was. He had become a shining bright spot in what had been an otherwise overwhelmingly awful night.

"You can if you want." Raphael blushed slightly as he turned towards Marcos and leaned forward slightly.

Marcos didn't have to be told twice. His lips met Rafael's in a momentary flash of heat. He was instantly aware of two things. The first was that all of his pent up emotions seemed to have fed into a powerful arousal that would have to be dealt with soon. The second was that Rafael's hand was resting on his thigh.

Marcos broke the kiss and withdrew slightly. "I don't...I don't want to put any undue pressure on you," he breathed as he peered into Raphael's eyes. "I just...you know how attracted I am to you. With emotions running high I feel like I could easily make a mistake here and lose your trust. I can't do that, especially not right now. So it might be best if I just go home."

"It's still raining out there and you said you live over on Main Street. That's a ridiculous walk. Besides, you'd have to leave." Raphael reached out and touched the side of Marcos' face. "You're not going to make a mistake. Don't worry."

"You don't understand," Marcos protested as he tried to ignore the thrill that Raphael's touch sent through him.

"Don't I?" Raphael's hand moved from Marcos' thigh and slid towards his groin.

Marcos' erection tightened and his breath caught in his throat. He wanted to give in to this, but he knew that if he did he wouldn't be able to hold back. He couldn't risk overstepping the omega's boundaries and chasing away the closest thing he had had to a real emotional connection in years.

"Raphael, I don't want to lose you..." His face felt hot as he spoke and his entire body felt numb. He was emotionally drained from sharing his story and he wanted to recharge. Giving in to Raphael seemed like it might be a good way to do that.

"You won't lose me," Raphael promised. "I'm ready this time. I want you to touch me, Marcos."