~Savannah~

Ben waves me off in the rear view mirror as I pull away from the curb, headed to my house. How long can we continue to maintain two houses? I mean, I don’t want to jump the gun or anything, and I know it seems fast, but I don’t want to sleep without him. We spend almost every night together anyway.

But the thought of selling my beautiful house, especially now that it’s finished being remodeled, doesn’t excite me. And I know that Ben has put a lot of work into his house too. It’s perfect for him. I doubt he would want to sell it.

And if this is the biggest issue in our relationship, I’d say we’re doing very well.

I smirk as the light ahead turns yellow and then red. I press my foot on the brake, but nothing happens.

Nothing fucking happens.

I grip the wheel tightly and try again, but his car won’t stop. It’s not even slowing down, certainly not enough to stop at the light.

“Oh my God.”

I can’t go through the intersection; I’ll cause a huge accident. There’s no one on the sidewalk, thank God, so I jerk the wheel and aim for a signal post, hitting it squarely.

The airbag deploys, smacking me in the face. I see stars and shake my head. Jesus, that hurt.

But all I can do is worry that I could have hurt someone.

“Are you okay?” Someone yells through the window. I try to open the door, but my fingers are shaking so violently, I can’t grip the door handle. Is that me breathing like I just ran a marathon?

“Open it!” I yell, and the stranger complies. The door opens, letting in fresh air and the smell of a crushed front end. “Damn it.”

“Hey, are you okay?” The stranger asks again, his voice full of concern. He lays his hand on my shoulder, not hard but with authority, making me stay in my seat when I would jump out of the car to survey the damage. “Is anything broken?”

“I don’t think so,” I immediately reply and feel tears spring to my eyes. “Oh my God.”

“It’s okay,” the stranger says. “I’ll stay with you until you calm down and someone comes to get you.”

“You’re nice,” I whisper and struggle to calm my breathing. “Why didn’t the brakes work?”

“Excellent question,” he says grimly and I reach for my phone to call Ben.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

“Ben?” Just the sound of his voice triggers the tears. I’m suddenly sobbing, and I can’t control it. I can barely speak, and I can’t pull any air into my lungs.

“What’s wrong?” His voice is on edge now, worried.

“I… I…”

“Slow down. What happened?”

“I’m so sorry, Ben.”

“Where are you?”

“About a mile from my house.”

“I’m coming to find you. Don’t hang up, Angel. Do you hear me?”

Thank God. Yes, come find me!

“Yes.”

“Did you get into an accident?”

“I guess so.” I glance around, but the airbag is in my way. I can barely see cars drive past and people gawking through their windows. Someone takes a picture. There are voices, but the stranger stands quietly next to me.

“Van? Talk to me, baby.”

“The brakes wouldn’t work,” I say as I try to catch my breath and calm down. “I had to stop, but they wouldn’t work.”

“I’m here.” I spin around, looking for him, but I don’t see him. I step out of the car now, and the stranger must be convinced that I’m okay because he steps away, allowing me past him. “I’m right here,” Ben says.

A car I don’t recognize parks behind Ben’s Jeep and Ben jumps out of the driver’s side, running at me.

“Ben.”

“I’m here,” he says again and grips my shoulders in his hands, studying my face. “Are you hurt?”

“I don’t think so. Just scared.”

He looks me over, satisfied with what he sees. I can hear sirens coming.

“Did someone call the police?” Ben calls out.

“I did,” the stranger who’s been with me says, making me frown. I didn’t hear him do that. “They’re on the way.”

“Thank you,” Ben says. He’s rubbing circles on my back, and I’m finally calming down. I wipe the tears from my face. “What happened?” he asks me.

“I pressed the brakes and they just didn’t respond.” I frown and study the steaming front end of his car. “I couldn’t chance running the light and hitting another car, so—”

“You did the right thing,” he says immediately and pulls me to him in the best hug ever. His hands are strong on my back, and his chest is solid against my cheek. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” I reply and kiss his sternum before looking up at him. “Just shook up. Airbags aren’t fun. I’m sorry about your car.”

“Fuck the car,” he says with a shake of the head. “You’re all I’m worried about, Angel.”

And cue the damn butterflies. Not to mention, tears are threatening again, but I take a deep breath and truly take mental stock of my body. My shoulder is a bit sore from the seatbelt, but otherwise I really do physically feel fine.

The police arrive and for the next thirty minutes I’m caught up in the hustle and bustle of giving a statement, Ben calling for a tow truck, and then handing me the phone with Beau on the other end.

“Vanny?” Beau asks. “Are you okay?”

“Ben told you I am,” I reply. The adrenaline has slowed down with the distraction of the police.

“I wanted to hear it from your mouth, sugar. Do you need anything?”

“No, we have it all under control. Thanks for asking, though.”

Ben has it all under control. But I’m proud of the way I didn’t fall apart. I mean, I had a moment because I’m a normal woman, but after the initial shock, I actually felt fine. Not scared shitless that Ben will hurt me because I broke his car, or yell at me, or shame me.

He’s caring for me, and it’s the sexiest thing he could ever do.

I end the call with Beau and once the tow truck takes the car away and the police leave, Ben leads me to the strange car and takes me to my house.

“Who’s car is this?”

“Ethan’s,” he says, a muscle in his jaw ticking as he pulls into my driveway.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Not even a little bit,” he replies before he cuts the engine and helps me out of the car and leads me up to my door. He waits while I unlock it and then follows me in. “You grab your things for this weekend and then we’ll take your car back to my place.”

“What about Ethan’s car?”

“I’ll arrange to have it returned to him.” He cups my face in his hands, and for the first time in my life, I see true fear in Ben’s eyes. “My God, you scared me.”

“Scared me too,” I whisper. “Have you had any issues with your brakes?”

“No.” His voice is flat. “I’ll have it fixed and sell it. I won’t have you drive it again. I can’t take the chance that this could happen again.”

“I’m sure it’s just a fluke.”

“I don’t give a fuck. You could have been hurt, or killed, and I won’t take that chance again.” He tips his forehead to rest on mine. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

“I’m fine,” I assure him and rub my hands up and down his back. “You took care of me.”

“That’s my job,” he says. His eyes are closed, but his body is still tight with adrenaline. I didn’t think it was possible to find him even more attractive than I did this morning, but fuck me, I want him.

“This might be the adrenaline talking,” I say as I walk him backward until his back hits my front door. “But I need to do something.”

He opens his eyes and frowns. “Okay.”

I nod and kiss him deeply, my fingernails digging into his arms as the kiss goes from hot to inferno in about three seconds. Finally, I pull away and kiss my way down his black T-shirt, to his belly. I unbutton his pants and am pleased to find that he’s not wearing any underwear. That sexy as hell piece of metal is winking at me.

“Van.” His voice is husky, full of lust. “You don’t have to.”

“Oh yeah. I do.” He’s already hard and heavy in my hand. The skin is smooth, and what he can do with this is ridiculous.

I’m about to thank him in the best way possible.

I lick the length of him, from balls to tip. I want to take it slow. To soak in the sounds he makes, and the way his cock twitches at my touch, but this moment isn’t for slow and easy. I’m too excited. I’m too revved up.

So I sink over him as far as I can and then I wrap my lips around him and pull up, my hand following the motion. His hands are fisted in my hair, he’s groaning words that I can’t make out, and I fucking love it.

I feel sexy and powerful as this strong, alpha man becomes putty in my hands.

And mouth.

“I’m going to come, Angel.”

I nod without skipping a beat, but he curses.

“Seriously, Van, I’m going to lose it and I don’t want to do it in your mouth.”

“Do it,” I reply and go back to licking and sucking, urging him on. He sucks air in through his teeth.

“Jesus Christ Almighty, you’re good at this.”

I smile brilliantly on the inside, not skipping a beat, and he suddenly comes, quivering with his release.

“My God, Van.”

“No, I’m no god,” I reply with a sassy smile as I stand and he zips up his pants. He’s watching me intently, his eyes on fire. “I just couldn’t help myself. You’re sexy as fuck, Ben.”

“I want you,” he says. His voice is deceptively calm and low. He stalks toward me, and I walk backwards. Not trying to get away from him, but wanting to see where he’s going with this. When my back hits a wall, he cages me in, leaning his hands on the wall at the side of my head. He kisses my forehead.

“Look at me.”

I comply, looking up at his handsome face. I can’t help but cup his face in my hands and enjoy the way the stubble feels against my palms.

“Hi,” I say. He smiles slowly, and then chuckles just before he kisses me soundly.

“You’re just full of surprises, Angel.”

“Well, I don’t want to be boring.”

He shakes his head, his eyes pinned to my lips. “You’re never boring. And I don’t know what I did to deserve that, but I’ll do my best to do it more often.”

It’s my turn to laugh. “Let’s say it was a combination of adrenaline and lust.”

“So we have to become avid thrill seekers.”

“No,” I reply. “I don’t need thrills to want you.”

“I want you every minute of every day,” he says. “I’d love nothing more than to boost you up against this wall and have my way with you.”

“Seems like a waste to not take advantage of this wall. It’s just standing here. We should use it for something.”

“You’re quite the smart ass today. I like it.”

I just smile and feel the loss when he pulls away from me.

“Come. Let’s get your things and get out of here. I want to take you out tonight, if you’re feeling up to it. If you’re not, we can just watch a movie or something.”

“Like, on a real date?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Cool!” I do a little shimmy before I head up to my bedroom to pack. I’m definitely up for it. I feel like I could be up for anything right now. Adrenaline really is a thing. “Thanks for the heads up. I’ll pack a pretty dress.”

“Don’t forget the heels!” he calls after me.

“Have you met me?” I yell back and smile at the sound of his laugh.

Tonight is going to be fun.

***

It’s windy this evening. I wore a flowy organza dress that I love because of the pretty yellow flowers embroidered in the material. But it doesn’t match well with wind.

I might flash someone, or everyone, in the Quarter, and that would be bad. Much to my ex-husband’s disappointment, I’m not an exhibitionist.

But here in the restaurant, I’m comfortable and feel sexy in this dress with my red peep-toe stilettos and my hair twisted up off of my neck.  Ben keeps brushing his fingertips over the skin at the base of my neck, sending shivers down my whole body and puckering my nipples.

We’re waiting at the bar for our table to be ready, sipping a drink and just enjoying being close to each other.

“You’re sure you’re up to this?” he asks.

“Ben, I’m fine. My shoulders are a little sore from tensing up and the seatbelt, but other than that, I feel good. Also, you’ve asked me that about seven times. If I didn’t want to be here, I’d tell you.”

“Okay,” he says and kisses my temple. “You look so beautiful.”

I grin as he presses his lips to my ear. “I’ll be right back.”

He might as well have just said, take all of your clothes off.

“Okay.” I smile at him as he saunters away and take a sip of my lemon drop. Kate got me hooked on these when she moved to New Orleans a couple of years ago. I don’t drink often, but I think I’ve earned one or two of these after the day I just had.

“Hey there, sweet thing.”

I glance to my left to find a middle-aged, balding man standing next to me. He has something black stuck between his two front teeth.

I don’t reply, but he keeps talking.

“How many drinks do you think it would take to get you to come home with me?”

Lord Jesus.

I roll my eyes and turn to face him. He’s grinning, showing off that hideous hunk of food in his teeth. “There isn’t enough liquor in this bar to make that happen.”

His smile slips. “So I should just keep on walking by then?”

“Oh yeah. For sure.”

I turn away just in time to see Ben sit next to me. My shoulders relax in relief. Not because I couldn’t handle that jerk by myself. Because I could have. And I did.

“Who was that?” Ben asks.

“Absolutely nobody,” I reply just as the hostess comes to tell us our table is ready. It’s tucked in the corner of the dimly lit restaurant. There’s a candle burning on the table for two and it feels intimate and romantic as we sit and look over the menu. The waitress refills our drinks and takes our order and Ben takes my hand, kissing the knuckles.

“You look nice.” I sigh in pleasure and look him up and down. He’s in a black button down with the sleeves rolled, showing off his tattoos, and a pair of black pants that hug his ass in the most delicious way.

“You are stunning,” he replies. “You didn’t disappoint with those shoes.”

“These are some of my favorites,” I agree and stick my foot out from under the table so I can admire them. “It also helps that you’re so tall and I’m so short so I can wear any height of heel that I want.”

“That must be a woman problem.”

“Absolutely.” I nod and sip my drink. “I know that some women don’t care if they’re taller than their guy, but I prefer a tall man. Not that it’s ever been much of an issue for me. All of us Boudreaux girls are petite.”

“Your mama is tiny,” he reminds me and I nod again.

“This is nice.”

“I should take you out more often.”

“I’m not complaining,” I reply. “By the time we’re both out of work at the end of the day, we’re tired. I like just being with you in the evenings.”

“I do too. But some of this is nice now and again as well.”

“I won’t argue,” I say as our food is delivered. “Have you heard from the garage about your car yet?”

“I’m not expecting to hear from them until Monday. I hope you don’t mind if we use your car for the next few days.”

“I don’t mind at all.”

We enjoy our dinner, and each other, chatting while we inhale our meal. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until the food arrived.

“Can I interest you in any dessert?” The waitress asks.

“No, thanks.” I shake my head and sip the last of my drink. “I’m stuffed.”

“Just the check, please,” Ben says, smiling at me. “How do you feel?”

“A little buzzed,” I admit. “How many of these did I have?”

“Three.”

“Yep, that’ll do it.” I giggle and then cover my mouth with my napkin. “I promise not to embarrass you with my drunken antics.”

“You’re not drunk, and you would never embarrass me.”

I snort and gather my clutch as we leave the restaurant. Ben’s right, I’m not drunk, but I do feel mighty fuzzy and I can’t say that I don’t like it.

“You’ve seen me drunk more than you should,” I inform him. I have to hold my dress down as we walk to my car so the wind doesn’t whip it up over my head and I give a few people a show. “But I’m not an alcoholic. I promise.”

“You’re fun when you’re buzzed,” he says with a laugh. “And I’ve loved that you would call me when you needed a ride home. Who cares if you drink a little with the girls, or with me, now and again? The important thing is that you’re safe.”

“You say pretty things with that pretty mouth of yours,” I reply as the wind kicks up again, sending my skirt almost up to my waist. “This must be what Marilyn Monroe felt like over that grate.” I hurry into the passenger side of my car and sigh in relief when Ben closes the door and hurries around to the other side. “I didn’t want to show everyone the goods.”

“The goods?” He asks with a raised brow.

“You know, the goods. You’ve been quite intimate with the goods as of late. The parts that only you are supposed to see.”

“Ah, yes, the goods.” He grins and leans over to kiss me. “You make me laugh, Savannah.”

“Ditto.” I kiss his nose. “Are you going to ask me to show other people the goods?”

His eyes narrow for a moment and then he just slowly shakes his head from side to side. “No, ma’am.”

“Good.” I settle back against the seat as he starts the car and pulls away from the curb. “The jackass used to do that.” I cringe. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t want to hear that.”

“Actually, I’d like to hear anything you’d like to tell me.”

“Most of it is embarrassing.”

“Let’s get something straight right now, Angel. There is never a reason for you to be embarrassed with me. I love you, heart and soul, and nothing is ever going to change that. I want to know about your past, even if it’s hard to listen to because it helps me understand you better.”

“You’re wonderful,” I whisper. It’s a good thing I had all those drinks. I’d never have the balls to talk about this with him otherwise. Not the way I need to. And not because I think Ben would judge me, or be repulsed by me. No, it’s because even I can’t believe I put up with it for all of that time.

But it’s dark, and the car is quiet, and Ben makes me feel safe.

“He was just mean,” I begin. “I mean, that’s the root of it all. He wasn’t always. Certainly not at first because if that had been the case I never would have stayed with him. Thanks to a lot of counseling, I’ve learned that he just likes to humiliate. He’s good at it. He threatens, but his threats aren’t idle. He will follow through.”

“What kind of threats?” Ben asks softly as he pulls into his driveway. Neither of us makes a move to get out of the car and I’m relieved.

“Oh, you know.” I shrug. “He would say that if I didn’t wear what he told me to he’d find a way to humiliate me in public. Or if I didn’t work harder at making my stomach flat he’d kick my ass.”

“Kick your ass?”

“Oh yeah. Literally. He was careful not to leave bruises where everyone could see them. I guess that’s normal.”

“No,” he says. I can’t see his face in the darkness, but his voice is hard. “It’s not normal at all, baby.”

“For men like that I mean. Kate once told me that her first husband was the same way. But anyway, he was into some things, some fetishes, that I wasn’t into. He would get so mad at me. He didn’t like to be told no.

“At first he’d just act all disappointed, and make me feel about two inches tall. Guilt trip city.” I roll my eyes, no longer upset or afraid of what he did to me, and now just disgusted. “As time passed, he’d just make me do it anyway.”

“Fucking hell,” Ben says. He’s gripping the steering wheel with both hands. If there was light in here, I’d see that his knuckles are white.

“I can stop.”

“No, let’s finish it.”

I nod and swallow hard. The liquor is wearing off.

“One of his favorite things was exhibitionism. I do not like even the idea of strangers, or anyone, watching me have sex or be naked. It doesn’t interest me at all. And I know that some people do like it, and that’s totally fine. But I don’t. I’m not going to give you all of the details because you don’t need it in your head, but let’s just say that I did things I didn’t want to. Mostly because I was avoiding the punishment that came with saying no. But then I got both anyway, so it was all just a shit show.”

“I should have killed him.”

“That’s not the first time you’ve said that.”

I slip out of my seatbelt and climb over the console so I can straddle Ben’s lap and look him in the eyes.

“I’m not telling you this to piss you off or so you want to hurt him again. I’m not. Do you have any idea what the past few weeks have meant to me, Ben? Before we started this, I was unsure of myself and I was afraid that I’d never be able to be intimate with someone ever again. Because to do that, you have to trust and he ruined that part of me.

“Until you. You’ve made me feel powerful and beautiful. I know that you respect me and my boundaries, and that you only have me and my best interests in mind. What I had before was dark and evil and wrong. It wasn’t love. It was never love.

“This, right here, is love.” I lean my forehead against his and sigh in happiness as his arms come around my back in a tight hug. “This is love and trust and everything good. What happened before doesn’t matter, Ben. It’s over, and it doesn’t matter because now I have you.”

“We have each other,” he says, still holding me close. “And I’m never going to let anything like that happen to you again. I just have one last question, and then we’re going to leave it all in the past.”

“Anything.”

“Why did you stay, Van? After he showed you who he really was, why did you stay?”

I can feel the tears want to come, but I’ll be damned if I give Lance even one more ounce of control.

“Because he threatened my family.”

“He fucking blackmailed you into marrying him?”

I nod once and then shake my head in horror. “I just love you all so much—”

“Wait. He threatened to hurt me too?”

“All of you.”

Ben takes a long, deep breath and then lets it out slowly. “I don’t want to make love to you tonight.”

I blink rapidly and stare down at Ben in confusion.

“I want to hold you. I want to be with you. And I want to remind you what it feels like to be loved for you. For being the wonderful woman you are, and I want to show you what unconditional means.”

“Oh, Ben.” Now I let the tears come because they’re tears of joy. “You do that every day.”

“Come on.” We untangle ourselves and get out of the car and walk up to the door, but when Ben takes his keys out to unlock the door, we find that it’s already ajar. “I thought you said you locked this behind us when we left.”

“I did,” I reply. “I know I did.”

“Well, it’s unlocked now.” His face is grim as he looks down at me. “I’m going to go in to make sure it’s safe. You stay here.”

“Like hell I’ll stay here.”

“Savannah.”

“Ben.” I narrow my eyes. “I’m not staying out here by myself. That’s how horror movies start, and I will not have it.”

“Right.” He sighs and pulls out his phone. “Eli? Yeah. I need you at my house now.” He listens and then nods. “Thanks.”

“Why did you call Eli and not the cops?”

“Because I don’t know that this is a break in. And if you won’t stay out here by yourself, Eli will wait with you.”

“I can go in. I’m perfectly capable of kicking ass.”

“No.” He backs me up against a pillar on the porch. “You are everything, Van. I’m not taking you anywhere that could be dangerous. Now damn it, you’re going to wait out here with Eli while I figure out what the fuck is going on.”

I can only watch his face, his hair a riot in the wind. “Okay.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For curbing your stubborn side.”

We’re both quiet as we wait, listening for any sound from inside, but everything is still.

“You’re sure you locked the door?”

“I swear—”

Suddenly, there’s an explosion at the side of the house; sparks fly everywhere.

“Mother fucker.”