* * *

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Nothing seemed real. My friends were crying and comforting each other; one of them had a death grip on my hand and my mind was numb. Alex was pacing back and forth beside the car but I could tell he wanted to follow the guys from the way he kept looking towards the raging inferno they had disappeared into. I finally found my voice the third time I saw him do it.

“Go Alex, please go and make sure they’re okay.” Tears were streaming down my face and there was a knot of sick fear and panic in my gut. It felt like a long time since he’d left and sitting out here in the dark I couldn’t see anything.

“No, Jace would kill me if I left you out here alone. Where the fuck is the fire engine?” He ran his hand over his head miserably and none of us relaxed until we heard sirens in the distance.

Just then we saw Jace and the others coming back with mom and dad. I pushed past Alex and ran to them, but my legs gave out when I was only a few feet away. I heard Jace and mom cry out for me but couldn’t even gather the strength to tell them that I was okay. I was too numb to think or feel. They were alive; everyone I loved was safe. I need to throw up.

All the feeling came back when Jace grabbed me up off the ground where I’d fallen and pulled my into his chest. I felt his heart beating against mine, his lips in my hair, his soft voice whispering reassurance to me, and the world started to right itself once again. Now I could hear everything clearly and their words were no longer jumbled bits of confusion.

Everyone was talking at once, my parents were making sure we were all okay, but were a bit confused that we were already out of the house. That’s when I learned that my parents hadn’t left immediately after the explosion because they were looking for us. Saying I felt horrible was like putting a Band-Aid on an open wound that needed stitches.

I shook at the realization that I could’ve killed my parents with my thoughtlessness. Could this night get any worse? I started to shake even harder when it all came crashing down on me at once. “It’s okay baby, everyone’s fine; calm down for me now baby.” Jace was being kind but I knew he was pissed and I felt lower than slime. Mom and dad were covered in soot and coughing up their lungs, and from the soot on Jace’s clothes and the smell of smoke, I knew he’d gone into that burning hell to bring them out.

“What happened?” The fire trucks blew past us on the driveway. Thank heavens Alex and Shane had moved my car and Jace’s truck to the side to make room because I hadn’t even thought of it. It’s humbling to know that I freeze up in the face of trouble and revert back to infancy. I’ll have to work on that. Maybe Jace was right and I should just leave everything up to him in the future. Like hell!

“We’ll know soon enough. It sounded like it came from your room. Jace you mind if I have a look at my daughter?” Dad joked but I could see he too was pissed and trying his best to hide it. I studied his face to see what level of hell this was. That’s something he shared with Jace. They both wore their concern on their faces. Right now dad was scared and pissed, which wasn’t good.

Jace let go long enough for me to hug mom and dad before taking me back. “Jace what’s wrong?” he was acting even more Neanderthal man than usual and it was only as I looked at him closely in the moonlight that I noticed the ashen look to his pallor. Something was going on but I couldn’t for the life of me think what could be worse than this. At least we were all alive and no one seemed to be hurt.

“What is it?” I looked around at everyone. Jared had an arm around Belle, Shane had his around Tammy and Val and Cass were holding onto each other with Alex standing watch over them. No one answered my question, which only made me more nervous. I saw a look pass between Jace and dad that had those knots retying themselves in the pit of my stomach.

Somehow I got the sense by the way they were acting that the danger wasn’t over yet. I looked to my brother for answers but he too had his lips folded shut with a look of rage on his face. For some reason that scared me more than anything else. Jared is always the cool headed one. He’s the brother who listens to my gripes and moans and steers me in the right direction more often than not. Dad was training him well on how to handle life’s little speed bumps, as he likes to say.

He wasn’t looking cool and in control now and the fact that he refused to meet my eyes made my stomach cramp and my arms tighten harder around Jace. “Tell me. Your silence is only scaring me more.” I pleaded with Jace who still looked like he’d seen a ghost, or something worst. He took my face between his hands and stared at me before mumbling the word ‘fuck’ and putting his forehead against mine.

“Who knew you were having a sleepover tonight baby?” He pulled back as he asked and I looked up at him like he was speaking a foreign language. “What? What does that have to do with anything?” He huffed out a breath and I knew he didn’t want to say anymore, which sent my imagination on a wild goose chase for answers. My nerves decided to choose that moment to go haywire and the shakes came back full force.

“The fire or whatever that is was started in your room.” What he was saying didn’t make any sense. I gave him a puzzled look as I tried getting my head around it.

“Was it an electrical wire or something?” I looked from dad and back to him, but they were both wearing stubborn looks on their faces. “Would one of you tell me what’s going on? Jace…”

He looked at dad but didn’t say anything. Dad I noticed was now sandwiching me between him and Jace with mom under his other arm, like they were protecting me. Jared was looking at me like he wanted to kill something and Jace, well, I could feel the ill concealed rage coursing through him. Oh this was bad.

I heard an engine behind me and the next thing I knew his parents were pulling up and bundling me and my friends into their car with them and promising my parents to pick Melissa up on the way. I looked at Jace when his dad refused to let me stay back, still not understanding any of this.

What the hell is going on? “Go with my parents babe, I’ll be there soon.” He kissed me hard on the mouth before forcing me into the car with the others while he and my parents stayed back with my brother and their friends. I looked back until they were out of view as his dad peeled out of the driveway.

No one was talking which made the whole situation seem dire. Why had Jace asked me that question? He couldn’t be thinking that this had been deliberate. No doubt he was overreacting as usual. I comforted myself with that thought but when I caught a glimpse of his dad’s face in the rearview mirror I knew it was a lie.

I wanted to jump put of the car and run back to him, but knew there was no chance of that. I tried to piece things together like a puzzle but none of the pieces fit. Each time I found a thread to tug on I lost it because it went nowhere. None of this made any sense.

No matter how I turned things over and over in my head nothing panned out and I was beginning to feel like I was going crazy. My legs started shaking again as we pulled into his driveway and as soon as I got my door opened I lost everything I’d eaten that day. “I’ve got you Sian come on, it’s going to be okay.” His dad’s arms offered comfort but I wish they were his. “I want Jace.” I broke down and cried as he carried me inside.